by Paul Kelly
“Yes, in hindsight I suppose you are right, but when all this started, I felt it was totally wrong just to let things slide and let Sarah go her own way without a fight. I see where I went wrong now, after having paid out over fifteen thousand pounds and for nothing. She will win this case. I think the woman always gets the better of the judges from what I understand. Maybe if I hadn’t been so bloody proud I would have been better off.”
“I feel so ashamed of being a woman, when you say that,” Freya replied as she untied her apron and put a sign in the cafe door window that they were closed for the day.
“I’m coming home with you and we’ll talk this through some more,” she said, even if Robert insisted that she should stay at the cafe.
“No. I don’t care about the job anymore and besides, if old Buggerlugs ... sorry, Mr. Haggerstone hadn’t got me here, he would have had to employ someone else to care for the place when he’s not here himself.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The journey back to Robert’s flat seemed to take ages as they had to take the bus to get there and he apologized, saying that his car had a flat tire and he hadn’t thought to fix it as he felt he and Cameron were the only ones who would lose out ... and also the walk to the cafe was to do them both good. Freya sat in silence on the bus.
“If you wouldn’t mind making a cuppa for Cameron when we get in, I’ll get on with that tire now. I’ll have it fixed in no time, O.K?”
Freya nodded as she put her hand out to touch Robert’s arm.
“You know I’d do anything for that little boy ... and you too? she added ,”and if you can’t manage that tire, I’ll do that too.”
“What can’t you do?” he asked as they approached the bus stop where they had to alight.
Cameron threw his arms around her as she came into the flat and Robert squinted as he looked on in amusement, especially when the little boy almost dragged Freya’s coat from her shoulders to hang it on the hallstand
“You could have been his mum, by the way he treats you,” he said and Freya wished ... but Robert would commit himself no more as he made his way to the back of the flat where the car was parked.
“I’ll have this tire fixed in no time,” he shouted, “but a cuppa wouldn’t go amiss when I’ve finished.”
The cuppa had hardly been poured into the three mugs that Cameron had laid out on the kitchen table, when Robert returned and started to wash his hands and blow hard as though he had tackled a difficult job, Cameron laughed, but Freya stood still as she watched him dry his hands.
“I told you I could have done that,” she said and Robert simply went on drying his hands as if she hadn’t spoken at all.
“That tea looks inviting,” he said, “Cameron, where’s your manners? What’s happened to the biscuits?”
“Sorry daddy, I wasn’t thinking. Here they are and Freya has put some new biscuits in the tin, I can see.”
Freya smiled and bowed ... I didn’t think you saw me put them there the last time I called, but I could see you were going short and ...” she said being interrupted by more hugs from Cameron.
“Are you alright?” she asked Robert as he sat down on the sofa, “You looked a little puffed when you came back from the tire business.”
Robert shook his head and smiled, showing his dimple to be more attractive than Freya had noticed before.
“I just get a little out of breath when I bend for any length of time,” he said, “but I have told you so many times, there is nothing to worry about as far as I am concerned.”
“Not as far as daddy is concerned,” Cameron chimed in almost immediately Robert had stopped speaking, but Freya wasn’t satisfied with the answer she got.
“I have had worse times than that, if you must know,” Robert went on, “but I don’t want to alarm you. Most MS sufferers have far worse than I have ever had.”
“What has been your worst experience since you’ve been diagnosed,” Freya asked as she crossed her legs and waited anxiously to hear the worst, but Robert shook his head again and shrugged his shoulders to tell her that nothing he had experienced was worth talking about, nevertheless Freya insisted.
“I want to help, whatever these experiences have been and I am a nurse, remember. . .”
“WAS a nurse,” Robert emphasized, but Freya would have none of it.
“Once a nurse, always a nurse,” she said and Robert raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“I thought it was once a priest, always a priest, or something like that, but I didn’t think nurses were included in that holy lot.”
“Oh! don’t get me wrong,” she replied, “It’s just that when you have been trained as a nurse, you never ever lose that experience unless you lose your memory or drop dead,” she explained, “Please tell me what you’re thinking at this moment?”
Robert sat back in the sofa and placed his mug on the table before him.
“A few months back, I became rather ill and that set back even surprised me to some extent.”
Freya leaned forward to hear more.
“Yes, and what happened then?” she asked.
“I couldn’t speak. My hearing was rather impaired and my eyes were dimmed.”
“Robert, that is a serious way to be,” Freya explained. “Did you call a nurse or a doctor?”
Robert looked down at the floor and waited for a few more moments before he spoke again.
“Freya, you are a good nurse. I am sure of that, but when a person has MS and is afflicted in the way I have just described ... and believe me, that is not the worst that can happen to MS sufferers as I keep on telling you, I have been very fortunate in my set-backs but as I have said, when you get into the state I was in, you couldn’t even reach for the phone, so how the hell could I have called a nurse or a doctor?”
Freya could feel her face coloring up as she listened to what Robert was saying
“That goes to prove that you should have someone near you when this occurs again ... and I hope to God, it doesn’t,” she said.
“I had someone ... not near, but I had Sarah and she was at school.” he said slowly and with hurt in his eyes.
“But she wouldn’t be at school all day surely. Did she do anything for you when she came home again? I mean, were you still in that state when she ...”
Robert said nothing and Freya wanted to put her arms around him, but at that point Cameron came into the conversation again.
“She would have done nothing for daddy,” he screamed, “I’ve seen her giggle when daddy looked really ill. She thought he was trying it on, she did. I hate her. I hate her. I wish she was ...”
“Cameron,” Robert cried out and then he turned to Freya to apologize, but she already knew what Cameron meant and she could understand why he said what he did.
“Please tell me, Robert ... and tell me truthfully, without making excuses of any kind ...” she said with great determination on her face, “ Did either Rita or Sarah help you when you were distressed about anything to do with your condition?”
She watched Robert’s face to see his reaction to her question, but he did not flinch.
“I don’t think either of them understood what MS was or is,” he said, “because as I have already told you, there are times when I am very unsteady on my feet and could easily be suspected of being drunk when I walk along the street. However, there are also times when you would never think anything was wrong with me and thankfully with me, that is most of the time.”
Freya swallowed hard as she tried to understand exactly what Robert was saying to her. She could well understand what he meant if the persons or person who was near him did not understand his condition, but Rita and Sarah knew about Robert before they married him ... or so she was led to understand.
“Did Rita know about your ... your condition when she marrie
d you Robert ?” she asked and watched his face carefully as he answered her.
“I’m not quite sure that Rita did,” he said, “You see I don’t think I actually knew about it myself at that time, but when we were on honeymoon in Paris, I know that once she scolded me for tripping up in the street, telling me I was like an old man, but I just put that down to tiredness.”
Freya looked sternly at Robert as she cleared her throat.
“Robert, I should not say what I am going to say and if you don’t like it, you can tell me to leave the flat and I will go without another word, but I don’t think either of your wives loved you as you deserve to be loved and I wouldn’t be surprised if both of these women didn’t add or contribute to your condition by their lack of feeling towards you. I would even go as far as to say, that you would never have experienced half of the conditions you talk about if you had never met them. They instigated much of your problems by being who they are.”
Freya went to reach for her coat from the hall stand when she said that, almost waiting for Robert to shout at her and tell her to get the hell out of it, but there was a silence in the room when she stood up to go. It was Cameron who spoke first.
“Freya, please don’t go, “ he called out, “Daddy make her stay. Don’t let her go. I love her.”
Freya bent down and kissed Cameron, but in her heart she knew, or at least felt that she had already said too much, even if she felt that what she had said was the truth as she could see it. She walked towards the door, but as she put her hand on the door knob, Robert called out to her.
“You know I have nothing to offer you, Freya, “ he called out,” but if you go, please let us be friends, at least. I don’t want you to leave the way you are doing.”
She turned around and stared at Robert, but tears were not far from her eyes.
“If I can be your friend, that will be enough for me,” she said sadly, “but I don’t care what you think, Robert,” she went on as she stared into Cameron’s eyes ... “I love you Robert Peterson and I always will, whatever you say or do.”
Cameron hugged her again and again and Robert put out his hand for her to come to him.
“If I give you a sisterly kiss, will you understand me?” he asked, “I will never lie to you and tell you things that would only provoke you into more sympathy for me, but ...”
“Yes,?” she said with hope in her eyes.
“Freya ... Freya, my dear friend,” he went on, “I wish I could feel differently, but you have always told me how honest you are and how honesty means a great deal to you and I have already told you that I could never love another woman after what I have gone through. I should say to you now, Freya, that I could never TRUST another woman, but Freya, I do trust you. Please have patience with me and accept my very sincere friendship.”
Freya knelt down beside the sofa and kissed Robert’s hand, but he leant forward and touched her cheek with his lips.
“I can wait, Mr. Peterson, “ she said, “I have infinite patience which I know is rare in a woman, but as I have said to you, I LOVE YOU and love; real genuine selfless love, makes patience possible in every way.”
Cameron clapped his hands together in excitement and rushed into the kitchen.
“I’m gonna make us some more tea and I want Freya to stay for lunch daddy. I know you would have lunch ready if she wasn’t here, so why should she not share it with us now that we are all good friends?”
Robert looked sad as he sat at the table with his head in his hands and Freya touched his arm gently.
“I know how much you are suffering,” she said, “but I do so want to help. Please let me help. There are no strings attached, I do assure you” she continued, but Robert remained as he was for some time before he raised his head and looked into Freya’s eyes.
“I wish I had met you years ago,” he said as he started to cry.
“Please don’t cry, Robert. I hate to see you cry and so would Cameron. He’s in the kitchen now, but he’ll be back within a few minutes. Don’t let him see you so low.” Robert stroked his hair.
“I’ve just been told what the hearing at court, which should be in another few weeks, will mean, I have been asked to pay more money to my solicitor and I can’t see an end to all of this. I wish I had never met the bastard,”
Freya thought for few moments before she spoke again.
“I have a little saved up ... for a rainy day,” she said, “and what could be more rainy than this? I can help you.”
“What with another few thousand pounds?” Robert asked and Freya raised her eyebrows in shock.
“Goodness ... not that amount surely, but I thought you told me you had already spent fifteen thousand pounds, so why is all this more money required. I never had this trouble when I divorced Sammy.”
“There’s a she-evil around every corner, “ Robert replied as Cameron came in smiling from the kitchen.
“Lunch is ready. I hope you like tomatoes Freya. We got some cheap from the market yesterday and they taste lovely.”
Freya grinned and slapped Cameron on the shoulders.
“You’re a real business man, did you know that?” she asked and it was obvious that Cameron was pleased from the way he looked at her. The lunch was lettuce and tomatoes with a few potato crisps scattered across the top that made it look more appetizing, but Cameron looked a little afraid as he watched Robert sitting so sad before him.
“You’re not eating daddy. What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong with the tomatoes? I cut them just as you like them,”
“No son ... you always do everything as I like it and I’m sure Freya would say the same.”
Cameron perked up a little after that and they all enjoyed the repast with coffee from Cameron’s special percolator to follow. It was only when he went back into the kitchen to do the washing up, that Freya interrupted.
“No, Cameron. You come and sit down and talk to your daddy. I will do the washing up. That’s what old ladies like me are for, isn’t it?” she joked and Cameron laughed. Later when Freya returned to where Robert was sitting, he looked up and smiled.
“Would it help if I came with you to the court hearing?” she asked, but Robert shook his head.
“They wouldn’t allow you in there,” he said, “I think only Sarah and her mother will be with her, but I will be on my own.”
“Her mother?” asked Freya, “Why her mother? What’s she got to do with your divorce?”
Robert smiled again.
“Well, she gave us fifty thousand pounds, which was left to us by Sarah’s grandmother who died at that time. It was supposed to be for a deposit on a house or flat.”
Freya scratched her head and looked at Robert in amazement.
“Well, that was kind of her wasn’t it? That old lady must have thought you and her grand -daughter had something special going for you both ... so is that why Sarah is pushing you for all she can get now? She surely must expect you to hand her that fifty thousand back anyway, whatever else she might expect.”
“That money wasn’t given to Sarah alone. It was given to us both,” he replied.
“So what happens now then? Does Sarah’s mother know that?”
“Yes, of course she does. It was she who gave us the money. She called us into her living room one day just after we got married and told us that the money would help us get a deposit.”
“So the money was for both of you ... Are you sure, Robert?”
“Yes, of course I am sure, but her old mother can swear blind that it was given to Sarah only, can’t she?”
“Well, hardly. That is if she told you it was for a deposit on a house, that must have meant for you both. You were going to share the home together, weren’t you?”
Robert walked across the room waving his hands in the air.
“I know
all that, but things look different now that we are separated. Sarah has no idea about morals. Vows mean nothing to her. For sickness and in health; for richer; for poorer was just a giggle to her.”
Chapter Thirty
Some time later, Jenny telephoned Freya to say that she would be back working at the cafe the next morning and she would arrange the shifts with old Buggerlugs before she got in touch with Freya again. This was good news for Freya as she knew than that she wouldn’t be restricted so much in seeing Robert, but she hoped Jenny was well enough to return to work and she was also concerned as this was the day that Robert was to return to court.
“Jenny, Jenny ... I hope you are really better now Jenny. I don’t want you to rush back before time. Do take care, won’t you, but I can’t get in to the cafe today. I have to be at court with Robert and I have to ...“
“You need someone to look after Cameron, don’t you?” said Jenny interrupting Freya as she was speaking, “I’ll be round there at the flat in no time. I’m fine now. . . honest I am. Just leave the key in the usual place and I‘ll find it.“ she called and Freya didn’t know what to do as she called back into the phone, but Jenny had gone and she could only hope that all was as well as it could be as she rushed off to catch a bus that would take her to the court.
Freya didn’t tell Robert that she would be at the court on the day of the trial, but she sat outside in the waiting room until the court was adjourned for lunch at twelve-thirty.
Robert appeared in front of her looking like death warmed up, with his face ashen and sweat pouring from his brow.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, “and what has happened to Cameron? He’ll be on his own, won’t he?”
Freya stroked Robert’s hand.
“Jenny is with him,” she said, “You know my friend Jenny from the cafe? Well, she agreed to stay with Cameron at the flat until I could get back, unless of course, you can get back there first.”