by Black, C. E.
My glare followed him as he left the room. I heard the door to the apartment close as he left and I slumped against the headboard. I was such a bitch. Alex was only doing the right thing and I tore him to pieces. I just couldn’t help it. I was so horny and my emotions were up and down. Sometimes it felt like every minute, I was feeling something different.
I needed to relax. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. That felt good, so I did it again. Then the baby kicked. Her little foot made direct contact with my bladder, again. Groaning, I sat up and reached for my crutches.
It was difficult and slow going, but I made it down the hall and into the bathroom without any problems. I was able to take care of business; however pulling up my pants was a lot harder than pulling them down.
I leaned against the wall for support, balancing on one leg and reached for the waistband of my sweats. I had just got them pulled up when my foot slipped out from under me. I slid quickly, my socked foot making it impossible to find traction on the smooth tile floor. I cried out as my butt hit the hard surface.
The door suddenly flew open. Jordan stormed through looking wildly around until he saw me sprawled out beneath him.
“Are you alright? What in the hell were you doing? Where’s Alex?”
His questions came at me fast and I just shook my head, still surprised to see him after all this time. His eyebrows rose, waiting for my answers.
“Uh, I’m okay, I think and Alex went to the store.”
“And what were you doing?”
“I had to go to the bathroom.”
He blew out a frustrated breath, bringing my attention to his pouty lips. I missed those and wanted so badly to feel them against mine again.
My gaze moved over face. He looked just as I remembered. His straight nose and high cheekbones gave him a regal look. His blonde hair was still cut short and with those piercing blue eyes he could easily have been mistaken for a British prince.
My gaze began their descent down his throat to his wide shoulders, covered in a tight black t-shirt. When he cleared his throat, my eyes popped back up to meet his. I could have sworn he would have been laughing at my blatant ogling, but instead his brow was furrowed. He looked confused.
“Why couldn’t you just wait for Alex? I’m sure he would not have been long.”
I rolled my eyes. Obviously, Jordan didn’t know much about pregnant woman.
“I couldn’t hold it any longer.” The ‘duh’ at the end was silent.
“Well I guess I’ll help you get back to Alex’s room.” Jordan huffed in exasperation, like if he had better things to do than take a minute to help me.
“Just help me stand and I can do the rest. I wouldn’t want to keep you.”
My irritation was back and it seemed Jordan would get the brunt of it this time. I thought he deserved it though, acting as if I was wasting his precious time.
“Fine.”
Jordan wrapped his hands around my arms and began pulling me up. I shifted trying to get my feet under me when he stopped suddenly, only half way. I tried using his body as leverage to get myself up the rest of the way, but Jordan was holding me in place. He was looking down at me, he gaze zeroed in on my stomach.
“What is that?”
“What do you think it is?”
I regretted the sarcastic remark as soon as Jordan’s eyes met mine. He was confused, surprised even and I suddenly realized, he didn’t know. Alex never told him and I must have been hidden by Alex’s body when I was being carried into the bathroom that night.
“I thought you had...I mean, didn’t you have...” His voice sounded broken and I felt even more horrible for not telling him the truth.
“I couldn’t go through with the abortion,” I said. Then I shook my head and looked away. “Actually, I never even thought about having one. I only said that to get you to back off.”
I looked back at Jordan, but he wasn’t looking up at me any longer, he was staring at my stomach again. He gently lowered me down to the floor, my back supported by the wall. He came down with me on his knees.
His hands shook as he lifted my shirt and pulled down my maternity sweats, exposing my bare belly. He laid his palms on either side of my stomach. They felt warm and I sighed with the contentment his touch created.
I watched, taken back as he leaned down to place a small kiss just as the baby kicked. His laugh was throaty as he rubbed the spot softly. His glassy eyes met mine and I gasp at his reverent expression. I had expected hatred for keeping my pregnancy a secret, not the tenderness I was seeing.
“I’m so glad,” he whispered.
He leaned in and kissed me so softly, I barely felt his lips. He pulled back, his gaze questioning. I didn’t hesitate. I kissed him back, my hands finding the back of his head to pull him closer.
The kiss was not rushed or frantic. His lips were gentle, worshipful. Our tongues touched almost hesitantly, tasting each other for the first time in months.
It was completely different from anything we had before. Jordan had always been a demanding lover and I loved that about him, but this new gentle way was like nothing I had ever experienced.
He pulled back, giving me solemn eyes. “I am so sorry, Sam...for everything.”
My lips parted on a gasp as his mouth met mine again. I was shocked and delighted by his apology. Did this mean a future with this incredible man was possible?
Jordan’s hands moved slowly up to cup my breast. I moaned as his thumbs flicked across my nipples. He pulled his lips away from mine and with one heated look, he had me groaning for more. He lifted me into his arms and kissed my forehead before he stood and strode down the hall.
We ended up in his bed, kissing and caressing, relearning each other’s bodies. I was curious about his bedroom, but I was too caught up in Jordan to notice anything but the dark blue comforter on the bed.
He undressed me slowly, his passionate stare never leaving my own. My shirt slid off easily along with my cotton bra. Jordan eased my sweats down taking my panties with them. I lay naked before him, but I didn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed. Jordan was being so sweet and I was ready to feel him next to me.
I thought he would touch me once I was undressed, but instead he moved his hands to the buttons of his own shirt. I watched fascinated as his muscles bunched and twisted as the shirt was pulled away.
I licked my lips at the sight of his broad shoulders. His chest was smooth and I knew exactly how incredible it would feel against me. I reached up to touch him, to feel his bare skin beneath mine. As my finger slid over his small nipples, they tighten into hard nubs.
With a groan, Jordan moved off the bed and began taking his jeans off. He kept his eyes on me as if he thought I would disappear. That was not about to happen. I wanted him so much it was hard to breath.
I practically purred when his cock came into view. It was long and hard and I was already imagining his length sliding in and out of my core. I whimpered with need, pleading he would join me soon.
He did, sliding into bed beside me. His fingers roamed over my face tenderly as he looked deep into my eyes. I showed him all the love I had for him, my eyes misting with the intensity.
His own eyes widened then darken with passion. His lips met mine and I could feel the answering love from him. My heart beat excitedly as Jordan showed me what he could not put into words.
His hands trailed down my throat, his lips followed until he found my breast. I arched back as he cupped them in each hand, squeezing gently. When his lips found my taught nipple and tugged hard, I cried out at the almost severe sensation.
Jordan’s lips immediately released me as he looked up. “Too much?” His voice was deep, husky and made me wet just hearing it.
“Yes, I didn’t realize how sensitive I was.”
Jordan leaned down and gently swiped his tongue across the nipple, nibbling only lightly. He moved to the other breast treating it with the same care.
He began moving south, placing wet kisses across my
full belly until he reached my thighs. He spread them wide then leaned forward taking a deep breath through his nose. I was shocked he would deliberately smell me down there, but I could not deny it was sexy as hell, especially when his expression was one of pure bliss.
I felt his tongue slide over the heated flesh of my sex. “Jordan!” I cried out at his exquisite touch.
His tongue had a slightly rough texture that I loved and his touch was so soft it felt better than anything I had ever experienced.
I was so close to climax that as soon as he began pushing one finger into me I came. It was different from any orgasm I ever had with Jordan. It wasn’t fireworks or explosions, but a gentle release that had me soaring.
As I came down from such a beautiful high, Jordan moved up my body with more of his sweet kisses. Tears prickled my eyes at his lovely display of affection.
I enjoyed the demanding, sometimes rough sex we had in the past. I really did and I hoped to experience it again one day. But this tender lovemaking was beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. It showed me a side of Jordan I had never known.
I rolled to my side as Jordan moved behind me. His cock nestled against my ass, his chest pressed solidly against my back. He pulled my hair aside and kissed my neck. His breath tickled my ear sending shivers down my spine. His hands caressed my body, smoothing over my belly then my breast.
“I missed you, Sam.”
One of his arms had gone underneath me and I grasp his hand as best I could. I turned to look at him.
“I missed you too.”
His kiss was tender as he lifted my leg. His cock probed at my swollen center. I arched, giving him better access. The tip of his penis slid across my clit making me buck against him until finally he found my opening.
He took his time, moving in a little before retreating, then pushing forward again. I was wet and more than ready, but it had been a long time since I had used those particular muscles.
When he was finally buried deep, he paused to let my body adjust to his thickness. My breaths accelerated. The stretched felt so good, I didn’t want to wait any longer. I wiggled to let him know I was ready and he began to move inside me.
He held my leg as he thrust in and out. My teeth dug into my lip until I couldn’t hold back my cries any longer. My mouth opened wide as Jordan nipped at my neck. The small pain only added to the pleasure.
“Please Jordan, love me.”
My voice was softer than a whisper, but as if he heard my tiny plea, he dropped my leg and reached for my clit. He stroked my swollen nub in time with his thrusts, sending me over the edge.
As I cried out my pleasure, Jordan’s movements became faster more urgent and before I came down from my own explosive orgasm, he was shooting his own released deep inside me. The feel of his warm seed had me diving off the cliff again and I screamed Jordan’s name just as he cried out mine.
Jordan pulled me close as we came down together. I could feel his heart pounding against my back, his heavy breaths on my neck. I loved being wrapped in his arms and could have stayed that way forever.
I expected him to get up leave me with a kiss of thanks, but he didn’t. He stayed with me, not even removing himself from inside me. The feeling was oddly comforting and I relaxed into his embrace.
I was not sure what would happen next. Doubts were creeping in, but I would save those for later. I felt warm and loved and tired. Jordan’s lips pressed reassuringly against my shoulder and I fell asleep with smile on my lips.
~ 16 ~
Jordan
I held Sam in my arms as she slept and I felt content for the first time in my life. Admittedly, I was also more than a little scared. I saw the way she had looked at me. It was not the first time I had seen love shining back at me through her eyes, but it was the first time I had let myself acknowledge the truth.
Through my tender touches, I tried showing her what I was feeling, what I could not bring myself to say aloud. I loved her. I knew that now. I guessed I always had, but it was just one more thing that I denied to myself over the past year.
These new feelings I was finally admitting to, if only to myself, were overwhelming. I was scared shitless that I would ruin it. I had made no bones about how much of an asshole I could be. What if I said or did something that would push her away again?
Like Sam, doubts were creeping in. That moment when she stiffened in my arms, I knew she had uncertainties. Hell, who could blame her? I wasn’t exactly the perfect mate. However, no matter how frightened I was, I knew I couldn’t stand to lose her again. So I had kissed her shoulder, hoping she took the gesture for the reassurance I meant it to be. Thankfully, she did and relaxed, falling asleep in my arms.
I rubbed my hand over her swollen, but firm belly once more, still stunned at the unexpected surprise. I had checked in on her multiple times, without her noticing, yet somehow I had completely missed a very important change in her.
When I had looked down and seen her pregnant body, I knew she had lied. She even admitted it, but I had not cared. Even after the lust-filled fog we were engulfed in had faded, I couldn’t have cared less that she had kept the truth from me. I did not doubt for a second that I had deserved that lie.
I was a jerk the day she told me about the pregnancy, throwing accusations, giving her attitude. I had no excuse for the way I had acted; except that now I knew that fear was the driving force behind my actions.
The thought of being a father filled me with anxiety, but knowing my child was growing in her womb was the most exhilarating feeling I had ever experienced. A part of my brain reminded me that the baby could be Alex’s child. I realized that was a possibility, but for some reason I just disregarded the thought. In my mind, it did not matter.
Life had not been good to me, beginning with an abusive father and a despondent mother. I was practically born with a heavy chip on my shoulder, but as much as my childhood was based in misery, nothing had compared to the past year.
When, by my own hand, I lost Sam and the baby, I thought I had hit rock bottom. Then the shit with Alex’s father and watching Layla, a childhood friend, die in my arms It just pushed me deeper, until I thought I had hit a bottomless pit.
Seeing Sam, knowing she had not terminated the pregnancy, was like a lifeline, a second chance and I was not about to turn my back on it. So many things still needed worked out.
Most importantly was telling her about what I truly was. I could only hope she wouldn’t freak out. It was necessary that she accept me as the shifter that I was. Crucial really, because the baby she was carrying was quite possibly one as well.
I reluctantly pulled myself away from Sam’s warmth and stood to get dressed. As much as I would have loved to stay there with my arms wrapped around Sam for the rest of the day, I knew Alex would be home at any moment. I didn’t give a damn if he knew Sam and I were together. Hell, he would probably smell the sex in the air as soon as he entered the apartment.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew Alex would not be too keen on the thought of Sam and me together. I had been watching the two of them since she came to stay with us. Alex cared for her, that was a no-brainer and it was obvious she felt the same.
I did not mind sharing. We had done it before. I loved Alex like a brother, more than that even and I would never do anything to purposely hurt him, including taking away someone he cherished as much as I.
That was only one thing we had to discuss though. It was time to brief him on the Wilde Mountain mission. We had to leave for the assignment soon, and I knew he would want in. Having someone take care of Sam was a problem, but I had an idea that I would run by Alex when the time came.
I pulled the covers over Sam’s peaceful form just as I heard the apartment door open and shut. Giving the woman I loved one last longing glance, I left the room.
Alex stood frozen, grocery bags still in hand, as I walked into the living room. He took in my disheveled appearance. I had not bothered to button my jeans nor put on my shirt.
&nb
sp; Just as I knew he would, he took a deep breath through his nose.
He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them, I was not terribly surprised at the anger I saw. However, I was taken back at just how much rage reflected back at me.
His brown eyes flared gold, proving just how close he was to the change. Intense anger could do that sometimes if you couldn’t control it quickly.
“Fucking, ass!”
Alex’s growl raised my hackles and I made sure to stare him in the eye. No need for him to think he could dominate this conversation.
“There is nothing to be upset about.”
Alex dropped the grocery bags to the floor and walked towards me, his fist clenched at his sides. He stopped just a couple of steps from being in my face, which was a good decision. My own control was slipping as the waves of Alex’s rage pounded at me. If he got too close, it could cause a nasty fight.
“I know you don’t have any feelings for Sam, but how could you take advantage of her that way?” Alex sneered, his tone clearly disgusted.
My jaw ached as I ground my teeth at his ridiculous accusations. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Alex’s smile was mocking, showing off his sharp teeth. “I don’t, do I? Well, for your fucking information, before I left, Sam was all over me. Her hormones are all fucked up from the pregnancy.”
“She doesn’t know what she wants right now and I, unlike you,” he growled “walked away because I knew she would hate herself afterwards. She is not ready for us to be making moves on her yet, especially from you. You haven’t even talked to her since she got here.”
As I listened to Alex’s words, dread seeped into my bones. Could he be right? Did she respond to my touch only because of some damn pregnancy hormones? Admittedly, I hadn’t known much about those kinds of things, but I did remember how sensitive she was to even the smallest caress.
My anger dissipated into a wave of guilt. I hung my head in shame, not able to look at Alex. It was official. I was a complete jerk. I did take advantage of Sam. I just had not realized it at the time.