by Black, C. E.
I glanced over to see the big cat laying himself down beside my leg. He looked graceful and content, his tail swinging about. He was looking a little less scary, but my body stiffened as his head lowered to rest on my sheet-covered thigh.
I swallowed back the anxiety attack that was threatening to overcome me again. I had just gotten my breathing under control. I did not want to pass out or harm the baby in any way. I just had to keep telling myself that it was only Alex...who had never been anything, but sweet to me.
I loved him and if I couldn’t except what he was, then...I wasn’t sure what would happen. I would probably lose him and Jordan. When you loved someone, were you not supposed love all of them, even their faults? Not that this was a fault exactly, but it was definitely...something.
I watched him as he gave a contented sigh and closed his golden eyes. He yawned, opening his big mouth wide, showing off incredibly large fangs. I started to get a little worried again, but then something amazing happened.
Baby Ava gave a particularly hard kick that had me wincing. The cat, no not the cat, Alex, I reminded myself, turned to look at my belly and began to move a little closer. I started to get uneasy, but Jordan held me tight, whispering encouragements.
Alex rubbed his face and head against me. He was gentle, never pushing too hard against my stomach. A vibration began at my side and ran throughout my body, just as I starting hearing a loud rumbling sound. My breath caught in my throat as I realized he was purring. He continued to stroke his head against me and it finally dawned on me what he was doing. He was showing his love and support.
“Touch him,” Jordan whispered.
I licked my lips, hesitating, unsure if that was a good idea. Jordan picked up my uninjured hand and placed it on the back of Alex’s neck before wrapping his arm around my shoulders. At first, I just kept it there, not moving, waiting to see what he would do. He didn’t do anything, just continued to rub up against me.
Cautiously, I petted him, stroking the soft fur. I admired the silky texture, touching him with a little more confidence. I ran my hand down his back then brought it up to his head to run it down again. His muscles jumped with every stroke and I smiled, wondering if I was tickling him.
My small laugh had his gaze swinging up to meet mine. I stared at the glowing orbs, searching. The pupils dilated as I watched and then there it was...the pull.
What was between Jordan and I was a sort of dominate/submissive relationship. Well, submissive was the wrong word to describe me, but he was a dominant man who lived to be in control. I loved that about him and let him think, on occasion, that he was in charge.
His directness and take-charge attitude was what drew me to him. I was infatuated with him from the moment we met. Our connection was instantaneous.
With Alex, it was completely different. He was charming and funny and even though he was more than good looking, I did not think there was much of an attraction between us. Until we locked gazes over a box he was helping me carry. I could not tear my eyes away from his. He mesmerized me and something in my soul recognized him.
I felt that as I looked into the cat’s stare. The shape and color might have been different, but the drawl was still there. His essence was in those eyes and all my anxiety just melted away.
“Alex?” I called out to him softly.
He lifted his head and licked my palm with his huge tongue. My breath caught on a laugh.
“Are you alright now?” Jordan asked.
I looked up at him. His facial features were set in stone. His eyes flat and his lips thinned. I could not stand that stony look he liked to hide behind. I leaned up and kissed him on his hard mouth. At first, he did not react, but as I continued to rub my lips against his, he began to participate.
We kissed sweetly, my hand still petting Alex’s soft fur. I pulled back and gave Jordan a reprimanding look. I never wanted to see that expression on his face again. He blushed, actually blushed and I smiled at the adorable reddening of his cheeks.
“Yes, I’m alright now,” I said as I looked back down at Alex, nestled against my leg. “But I have a question.”
“Just one?”
I glanced back up at Jordan. “Well, maybe a few.” At his nod I continued. “I thought you said you were both jaguars?”
“We are.”
“But, Alex’s fur is all black. Wouldn’t that make him a panther? I thought jaguars were gold with black spots.”
“Panther is just a name used for large cats. Jaguars, leopards and cougars can be deemed black panthers if their fur is dark. But to answer your question, yes, he is a jaguar.” He smiled and motioned to Alex. “Look close and you can see his spots.”
I looked at Alex’s long body. His fur was a deep black, but as I looked closer, I began to notice a small variation in the color, making spots.
Jordan shook his head and chucked.
“What?” I asked.
“Of all the questions, that is what you wanted to know?”
I grinned. “It was the first thing I thought of. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“What color are you?”
“Average color, like you said, gold with dark spots.”
I smiled up at him. “There is nothing average about you Jordan, and I can only imagine that your other form is just as amazing.”
He grinned and gave me a chaste kiss. “Thank you.”
The hand that was petting Alex suddenly froze.
“What is it?” Jordan asked as Alex’s head snapped up, pinning me with his glowing eyes.
I had to look away from his questioning stare. It was a little unnerving knowing there was a human in there looking back at me.
I pulled my hand away and placed it on my stomach, rubbing small circles as I asked, “Will the baby be like you?”
Jordan breathed out a long sigh and pulled me closer. “There is a good chance the baby will be a shifter. Some children from mixed blood never shift, but most do.”
“Will she shift inside me?” I looked down at my belly and shivered at the thought.
“No, of course not,” he chuckled. “The change does not happen until the child reaches puberty.”
I relaxed into Jordan’s arms. “Wow that has got to be the worst timing.”
He nodded. “It is, but with the right support, it’s not so bad.”
My head tilted so I could look at him better. “You’ve never talked about your family before. I think I understand why now, but could you maybe tell me a little about them? Did your parents help you the first time you shifted?”
The bed shook making me glance down at Alex. He had slid closer to Jordan and laid a paw in his leg. How strange, I thought.
“I don’t want to talk about my parents right now.” Jordan’s words brought my attention back to him. “But I will answer your other question. No my parents did not help me with my first shift, or any other for that matter.”
My eyes widened. “You had to go through that alone?”
He shook his head and looked down at Alex. “No, Alex was with me. He’s younger than me by a year and had not shifted yet, so he had no advice to give, but he stayed with me. He talked to me the whole time. That was more than enough support and in turn I was there for him.”
I swallowed my gasp as I heard the emotion that filled his words. Tears prickled at the corner of my eyes. They were true best friends and it was clear Jordan loved Alex dearly.
He turned away from Alex to gaze at me. His eyes were bright as he smiled happily. “So you don’t have to worry. No matter what happens, this baby, shifter or not, will never be alone. We will make sure the little one has all the support and encouragement that is needed to get through the first change.”
I could not help but kiss him. I wrapped my arm around his neck to pull him closer as my mouth plundered his. I let him know, through soft licks and sharp nibbles, how grateful I was that he understood and helped banish my uncertainties.
We both pulled back as A
lex became restless, pawing at our legs. We both chuckled at the irritated look on the cat’s face.
“Are you ready for Alex to shift back?”
“Yes.”
I turned and watched the show again, this time in reverse, and without the panic attack.
~ 18 ~
Jordan
My relief was a release. It lightened my heavy burdened soul. I had no idea how great that burden was until a piece of it vanished. Giving Sam a glimpse into our secret was essential, yet satisfying.
She handled the situation with aplomb. Well, not at first. She did kind of panic, but I was sure it was because there was a massive jaguar practically on top of her. She accepted us as shifters and that was all that counted. I hoped she took the rest of the news just as well.
Pouring myself a cup of coffee, I wondered when I should broach the subject of our real job. She had already been told so much and I wanted to give her time to process, but time had run out. Alex and I had to leave for Wilde Mountain on that coming Wednesday. It was already Monday. I had less than two days to catch Alex up on what was happening, confide in Sam that we were military and that we would be gone for a few days, and find someone to look after her while we were gone.
The robust flavor of the black coffee gave my over stressed brain the bolt of energy I desired. I took another sip, letting the hot liquid slide down my throat, willing my anxiety to do the same. Important decisions had to be made and I would make them.
First up was talking to Alex, I thought as I heard him walking towards the kitchen. He strode in with a wide smile and helped himself to the coffee. As he poured the steaming liquid into a mug, he turned to look at me, his smile still bright.
“She’s amazing. I am so relieved that’s over with.”
“Yes, she is.”
“This is great! She’s accepted us and now we can have a future.” I wanted to smile at Alex’s enthusiasm.
“Yeah, but there is still a lot we need to tell her.”
“She needs to know about the Alpha Division.” Alex’s excitement dulled slightly as he nodded.
“Where is she?”
“Sleeping, I think we wore her out.” I grinned along with Alex, thinking I was damn worn out myself.
Sobering, I quickly got to business. “Mission Wild Hunt is a go.”
I thought my abrupt change of topic would confuse him. I sorely underestimate Alex. He didn’t even blink.
“And I assume I still haven’t been called in?” He asked. My chin dipped once in acknowledgment. His eyes narrowed into slits. “Does it have something to do with Wilde Mountain?” Again, I only nodded. “Tell me.”
“Mark gave a tip that has been confirmed. The community is being used in a drug trafficking ring."
Alex rocked back on his heels. “Drug trafficking? Are they sure?”
I knew what he was thinking. Our community might have been screwed up, but drugs had never been a problem, only assholes. Alex looked me in the eye, and waited. He knew there was something I wasn't telling him. So far, nothing I had said would have kept him off the mission.
“I confirmed it myself.”
“That’s where you were for the past few nights?”
"When was the last time you spoke to your parents?" I asked, swiftly changing the subject again. I wasn’t ready to talk about what happened.
"I haven't, why?"
"Neither have I."
Alex’s body was becoming tense. Only the years of training kept me in control. It was slipping though. He was my friend and I hated being the bearer of bad news, and there was a lot of it for Alex.
"I know. Now tell me how this all comes together."
I placed a hand on his shoulder. Alex’s eyes widened at my unusual sympathetic gesture.
"Mark told Teij that Luanne past away three years ago."
"What?" He exclaimed.
I watched him search my face carefully, looking for a lie. The moment he accepted the truth, he looked away.
“I shouldn't be surprised. Mom was a drunk.”
And even with all the grief she gave him growing up, I could see the pain etched onto my friends face. She was his mom and no matter what, he loved her.
I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. Alex did not resist and hugged me back. He had always been there for me through so much shit and I was thankful that I could be there for him. I patted his back and pulled away.
"I'm sorry man," I said softly.
"Thanks." He cleared his throat. "I guess they figured since I wasn't keeping in touch they didn't have to tell me.” He pushed his hands roughly through his hair. “God, that irritates the hell out of me, but I can’t really blame them either.”
Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself to land the next blow. Alex noticed and his posture stiffened, his eyes narrowed.
“What else?”
"Mission is, go in, take out the leader of the committee. He's number one on the radar for the drugs. We take out any who stand with him."
His shoulders pulled back. "Name, picture?"
I shook my head. "No, you weren’t called in, remember?"
"Damn it Jordan!” Alex slammed his mug on the counter, spilling coffee over his hand. He didn’t seem to notice. “That makes no sense."
"We have done separate jobs before."
"Yeah, but this one's different and you know it," he said pointing at my chest.
His gaze stayed harshly on mine as I pretended to debate what to do. I knew I would go against orders, but I let him try to convince me. I needed to know how badly he wanted it. He didn't drop his eyes, waiting to see what his fate would hold.
It was enough for me. "The committee chairman is Alexander James Wright Sr., your father."
Alex didn’t speak, only turned to look at the wall with blank eyes. The only sound was the ticking of the kitchen clock and Alex’s harsh breathing. I wanted to tell him more, but he wouldn’t have heard. He was in his own head now.
I waited silently, sipping my coffee. I was not surprised when Alex pulled his cell phone from his pocket. After pressing one button, he set it to his ear.
‘Teij, I’m in.”
I nodded my approval and headed for the office. Hours later, I had Alex brought up to speed. He and I would be leaving for Wilde Mountain on Wednesday. That left only one day to work things out with Sam.
~ 19 ~
Alex
“I cannot believe the council is allowing drugs into the community. Even more unbelievable is that my father is the one leading this shit. He was always spouting off about how drugs were the ruin of humanity and how shifters are above the disgusting stuff.”
“I know, it’s unreal, but I found proof. Alexander’s scent was all over the house, including around the drugs.” Jordan looked away, not meeting my eyes.
I nodded and looked at Jordan thoughtfully. He was hiding something.
“You went on the reconnaissance mission?”
“Yes.”
I waited, but he offered no further information.
“That’s all you have to say about it?”
He shrugged as if it was no big deal. He couldn’t fool me. There was a tightness around his eyes and his jaw was ticking, classic signs that Jordan was upset.
“I went in, found the evidence and got out.”
I shook my head. Damn, he was stubborn. “Try again, Jordan. Tell me what happened. Did it have to do with my father?”
I cringed at the word. I hated calling that man my father. I always knew he was a cruel bastard, but I had thought he saved his hatred for only me. The rest of the community walked on water in his eyes. Everyone loved and respected him and he had treated them the same. I guessed things changed.
Jordan sighed out a long harsh breath. He was irritated, I got that, but I knew he needed to get something off his chest. Being best friends with him for so long, I knew these things.
“I needed to find where the drugs were being stored. One of the houses that popped up on our r
adar belonged to Layla Katz.”
“Layla? She’s involved in this?”
“Alexander has involved everyone.”
I rubbed my face with both hands, something else to be pissed at my father about. Layla was a sweet girl. She was wild, I thought with a smile as I remember some the antics we used to get into. I had always liked her. She was a good friend and knew how to have a good time. The thought of her caught up in the shit going down twisted my stomach.
“What happened?”
“I made the decision and chose Layla’s house. I figured I could talk to her, maybe persuade her into telling me what was going on. I wanted to help her.”
Jordan walked over to his desk and sat down. He stared blankly at the computer screen. I glanced down at his hands. They were curled into fists. Something horrible must have happened or maybe he saw something. I wasn’t sure, but I waited patiently.
“But I just used her instead.”
I could tell from the way his voice cracked that he was extremely upset, but I was still confused.
“What do you mean?”
“She looked good, pretty much the same as I remembered her. Well, she was a little more wary, tired maybe, but she was really welcoming.” He raised his eyebrows and snorted. “Really welcoming.”
I was beginning to understand. Jordan slept with Layla in order to get closer, to obtain her trust and he felt guilty.
“Jordan, you did what you felt you needed to do. It happens.”
He turned abruptly with a glare. “Would you have done it?”
I opened my mouth to say ‘yes, absolutely,’ but I realized I couldn’t. I would have thought about Sam and...
“Is that what’s going on? You feel guilty? Jordan,” I said shaking my head. “You’re right; I probably would not have slept with Layla, mostly because of Sam. But I don’t think you did anything wrong.”
I shrugged. “You and Sam had broken up. If it makes you feel better, talk to Sam. Who knows, she might get pissed as hell. I don’t know women that well, but I think Sam is more understanding than that.”