Finding Peace (Finding Series Book 1)

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Finding Peace (Finding Series Book 1) Page 5

by Love, K. J.


  Just then Blake looks at me and gives me a look that says he’s questioning my reaction to his ‘invitation’ to come and meet him. Cocky much? I shrug at him. This just causes him to smile more. And then he gives me a look that makes me weak in the knees. Feeling as if I'm going to fall, I grab hold of Tessa's arm. She has been looking back and forth between me and Blake through all of this. Tessa is now biting her lip, trying to keep me from seeing that she is smiling.

  “Wow! That look he just gave you. Girl, I think I might faint.”

  I whip my head around to look at her. “Really Tessa? You’re not helping.”

  “I’m just saying. That was hot.”

  Oh no! He is coming this way. This can’t happen. I won’t let myself get mixed up with this guy. He stands a few feet from me and then abruptly turns and heads for the juke box.

  “What do you think he is doing?”

  “Giving up, I hope.” I truly doubt that is the case though.

  “Guys like him don’t give up till they get what they want and I’m pretty sure you are what he wants.” Tessa is determined to get me to give in to this guy.

  “Well, he can do whatever he likes I’m not falling for it. He thinks he’s God’s gift or something. I don’t like cocky men. And this one has, Alpha cocky male, written all over him.”

  “Uh-huh, you keep telling yourself that because I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to be able to fight him off for long. Heck, why would you want to?”

  “Sometimes, I wonder why we are even friends.” She laughs and I narrow my eyes at her.

  “Oh great. He’s headed back this way. Do you recognize the song that’s playing?”

  She smiles at me and I feel like all the wind has been knocked out of me. He is coming back over here.

  “I recognize it.” She says. “It’s your favorite song. Go figure.”

  I look at her with my mouth hanging open. Amazed that she is not helping me out at all. It’s like she is rooting for him to get his way. I grit my teeth and turn to the guy that is walking my way. I’m staring at him because it seems that is all I can do tonight.

  What is he doing? Blake leans in close to me and I can smell his cologne. It’s intoxicating. I close my eyes at his close proximity. My legs feel like jelly. I’m hoping I don’t fall to the floor. That would be really embarrassing and I hate being embarrassed.

  He whispers into my ear. “Just remember, you’re forcing me to do this.”

  “What? Do what?” He didn’t hear me. He just jumped up on the pool table. Oh no! No, no, no! This can’t be happening. He’s singing to me. Somebody make him stop. He’s actually singing my favorite song to me. Random people are making comments, laughing, and staring at us.

  “Check him out!”

  “Blake is crazy!”

  “Woo hoo!”

  They are cheering him on. And all I want to do is crawl under the pool table he's standing on. Dropping my head, I bury my face into my hands, wishing I could disappear. He stops singing and squats down on the pool table.

  “Are you going to talk to me?”

  I shake my head no.

  “Okay. I’ll just keep singing then.” He starts to stand back up.

  I wave my hands and say, “No! No more. Please.”

  “So you’ll talk to me? I just want to talk to you.”

  I look up and make eye contact with him, then take in a deep breath and let it out.

  “Yes, just talk. If you’ll get down and stop singing. I’ll talk to you.”

  “Okay.”

  He jumps down and extends his hand to me. Looking at it, I fear touching him will be my undoing. With a shaky hand, I place mine in his larger, rougher one. My lungs forget how to pump air in and out of my body. As my body begins to tremble from such a small touch, I try to compose myself.

  “Hi, I’m Blake McGinnis and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  What is it with this guy? Why is my body reacting this way? Somehow, I'm able to find my voice, praying it's not as shaky as I feel.

  “Hi. My name is Kayla and I’m not so sure it’s a pleasure to meet you yet. You just completely embarrassed me.”

  He shrugs and tilts his head. “You kind of forced me to take drastic measures.”

  Smiling at him, he's so full of himself and in some strange way it works for him. The problem, I'm beginning to notice, is he knows it does

  “You want to go somewhere to talk?”

  “I’m not leaving with you. I don’t know you.” I say as I shake my head.

  “Just talk. It’s just too loud in here.” He sticks his hands in his pockets and gives me this innocent, I’m harmless, look. Oh, you are anything but harmless.

  “You’re little act isn’t fooling me. I agreed to talk nothing more. I’m not leaving with you.”

  “What act?” He bites the corner of his lip.

  The simple act has me working hard to control my breathing. What the heck is this guy doing to me? Lots of guys I know bite their lips, but none have ever made me forget my brains like this guy just did. Blake is trouble, of that I'm sure. Right now, I don't know if it's a good or bad or even if I want there to be anything.

  “You can bring your friend. Tess, right? We’ll just go down the road. Have dinner and talk. I’ll even ask Max to come along.”

  “It’s Tessa. Her name is Tessa. No. Not a good idea. I’ll make you a deal. We can walk outside and talk.” I know there are a lot of people milling around outside, so it should be safe enough to go out there with him, but one thing is for certain, I’m not leaving here with him and I’m not dragging Tessa into this.

  “I’ll take it.”

  Turning, I walk toward the door. Blake follows me. Heat fills me as he places his hand on my lower back. Closing my eyes, I relish in the feel of him touching me, even if it is just the small of my back. Not long ago, David had done this same thing, but it didn't feel this good, this powerful. Blake's touch was welcoming, unlike David's. Somehow this small gesture from him, makes me feel special. It's a feeling that has been missing for a while.

  “Way to go Blake!” Someone yells from behind us followed by cheering and clapping.

  He steps behind me and places a hand on each side of my hips and leans into my ear. I can feel his breath on my neck and ear as he whispers, “Ignore them. Just keep walking.”

  “Kayla! Where are you going?” Tessa shouts over the crowd at us.

  Blake removes one of his hands and turns to look back at Tessa. “She’ll be fine. We are just going outside where it’s a little quieter.”

  He turns back and continues to lead me through the door. As we step outside, the noise from the crowd inside becomes muffled. Looking around, it seems that most of the crowd that was here when we first walked in has either moved inside or left. Hyper aware of the lack of security, we are basically alone out here. I don’t have Tessa or Max as a buffer.

  We’ve stopped and are just looking into each other’s eyes. He reaches up and moves a piece of hair out of my eyes and slips it behind my ear. I look down at his left hand, trying to answer my earlier question. Nope, no ring. That means he isn’t married. So maybe it’s just the mustache that makes him look a little older than he actually is.

  I blurt out. “How old are you?”

  The heat of his eyes burn into me, but I don't look up. “You want to go over and sit on one of the benches? I don’t want to have a conversation with you standing in the middle of the parking lot.”

  “Sure.” I look up at him and smile. Every time, every single time, he takes my breath away.

  He runs his right hand down my left arm and joins our hands. Our fingers intertwine and that’s when it happens. He lowers his head and turns my hand over in his looking at the small diamond on my ring finger.

  Everything seems to be moving in slow motion. All I can do is close my eyes and pray for the words that will explain the situation I am in. He jerks his head up and looks at me with his brows drawn in and I can see… What is that… hurt? Ho
w can he be hurt? He doesn’t even know me.

  I take my bottom lip into my mouth and bite it. His mouth drops open and his eyes drop down to my mouth. I release my lip. “I’ll explain. Let’s just go sit down first.”

  He continues to hold onto my hand, but he clenches his jaw and nods his head. He looks more mad than upset. That was a quick change. We walk over to a bench that is actually around the corner of the building. He finally releases my hand and I put my hands in my lap and twist them together.

  “So, you’re engaged?” He’s leaning over with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands are clamped together. He isn’t looking at me. Instead, he’s looking off into the distance.

  I don’t know what this is, this crazy chemistry we have, but it’s intense and it makes me feel as if I need to apologize for being engaged. This, of course, is ridiculous because I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me and I don’t owe him anything. So why do I want him to know, and above all, understand?

  “Technically. Yes, I’m engaged.” I wait for him to respond.

  He sits up, turns his body toward me and bends his left knee up onto the bench so that now his shin is touching my thigh. Doesn’t he realize that touching me in any way is just going to make it harder for me to explain through my now clouded brain?

  “Technically. What does that even mean? There’s a ring on your finger and I’m pretty sure that means you’re engaged. Where is he? Why isn’t he here? Because if it was me that put that ring on your finger, you sure as hell wouldn’t be here by yourself.”

  I can hear the tension in his voice. The very ring that is upsetting him, is the same ring that feels like a weight on my finger dragging me down. And never more than it is at this very moment.

  I place my left hand behind my neck, rubbing it, trying to relax my now tense muscles. He rests his left arm on the back of the bench and lifts my hair off of my neck. I remove my hand and he replaces it with his. His touch makes my whole body melt and relax, but heat up at the same time.

  “If you want answers to your questions. You are going to have to stop doing that.” I say breathlessly.

  He removes his hand and runs it down his face and adjusts in his seat as if he is trying to get comfortable. I try to hide my smile from him and I think that’s a blush I see. No way. Mr. Sexy blushing? Surely that doesn’t happen.

  “Oh, you think this is funny.” He is giving me a crooked smile.

  “Trust me; I don’t think anything about this is funny.” I give him a serious look.

  “Okay. So maybe I keep my hands to myself and you tell me the story behind this ring that I am growing to hate by the minute.”

  “I think that might be a good idea. Where do I start?”

  “How about why that ring is on your finger? And what I can do to get rid of it?”

  Chapter 7Kayla

  I stare out at the grassy lot that is in front of us. “I don’t think there is anything you can do. You don’t know me and I don’t know you. And this,” I hold my ring finger up to him, “it’s become like a handcuff that is keeping me attached to a guy I want nothing more to do with.”

  “It sounds like there’s an easy solution then. Break it off. And do it now. We’ll go back inside, you can call him, tell him you’re breaking off the engagement and breaking up with him. I’ll even stand beside you while you do it.” I can feel his eyes on me and I know he’s hoping I will say okay.

  “Is that what you would want? To have someone break off their engagement to you over the phone.” He starts to touch me, but tries to play it off by raising his hand to scratch the back of his neck.

  “No, I wouldn’t. But I also wouldn’t want someone to stay with me if they didn’t love me. So if he really loves you, he should want you to be happy. And obviously you aren’t happy.”

  Now I’m the one turning on the bench to face him. Resting my right arm on the back of the bench, he turns to face me. Picking up my arm with his right hand, I begin to wonder what the heck he's doing. The answer soon shows when he places his left arm on the back of the bench, where mine once was, then replaces mine on top of his. He might act cocky, but I suspect there’s a true southern gentleman under that tough exterior.

  “No reason for you to be uncomfortable.” He says.

  “What happened to you not touching me? I think this qualifies as touching.”

  He looks up for a split second like he’s trying to come up with an answer.

  Then he responds with, “Actually, you’re the one breaking the rules. You’re touching me.”

  Okay, two can play this game. “You touched me first when you picked up my arm and I’m still not touching you because you put my arm on your arm that makes it your fault.” Game. Set. Match.

  “Don’t play this game with me Kayla, you won’t win.” He is trying his best to be serious, yet he can barely contain his smile.

  “I’m pretty sure my arm would have survived being up on the back of the bench. It’s not like its hot coals or something.”

  He raises his eyebrows at me. “Maybe.”

  I roll my eyes at him.

  “Oh, I get an eye roll for trying to make you comfortable. I think you might be a little grateful to me.”

  “I can tell now that you are going to be impossible to deal with.” I smirk at him.

  “But you could have a lot of fun trying.” He says, raising his eyebrows up and down.

  “We are getting off track here.” I take a deep breath and start. “Back to your questions, so here goes. I hope you’re ready for this.” He nods his head, indicating for me to start.

  “I met him my sophomore year. I didn’t know anyone. He was older, I was lonely, and we started seeing each other. I didn’t really know who he was and it turned out I could have chosen a lot better. He’s never treated me badly. I thought I loved him, but after some major things happened, my feelings started to change.”

  He’s listening to my every word. So I continue.

  “What I thought was love turned into more of a love you would have for a sibling. And now, I don’t think there is anything left not even like.”

  “Okay, Crazy question. Why are you still engaged to him?”

  “That’s the million dollar question. I’ve tried to break up with him many times, but he always loses it and threatens to kill himself if I leave him.”

  “Wow! How long has this been going on?” He asks.

  “At least three or four months. Let’s just say I didn’t agree to marry him for the right reasons to begin with.”

  I watch his face for any sign of how he is taking this information I am giving him. He seems worried. His face shows his concern for me and it seems to be completely genuine. He takes my hand and gently holds it. Being so sweet and comforting me, as I tell him things that I don’t easily share.

  “You do realize he is doing that to manipulate you? You don’t honestly think he would kill himself, do you?”

  “No, I really don’t. I know he is saying that just so I’ll stay with him. Before this trip, he made it pretty clear that things were going to change when I got back. I’ve been avoiding him. I can’t stand for him to even hold my hand.”

  “That’s pretty bad. You have to break it off. Why would you do this to yourself? Stay with someone you don’t love.”

  “I can’t bring myself to hurt him.”

  “So you’d rather hurt yourself? That’s messed up Kayla.”

  “You don’t know the whole story.”

  I’m getting a little angry with him. He doesn’t know anything about any of it.

  He puts his right hand up to my face. All my anger leaves and I lean into him and close my eyes. “Tell me the whole story,” he says softly and sincerely.

  Sighing in defeat I reply. “I can’t.”

  He drops his hand. “So, we’ve got a week right?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Max said y’all are here for Spring Break. Spend some time with me this week? We can hang out just have some
fun. I know you feel this thing between us. It’s too strong to just walk away from.”

  “I’m engaged, Blake.”

  “The way I see it, you have a ring on your finger that belongs to another man but clearly he doesn’t hold your heart. I’m not asking for anything more than a week to get to know each other and find out what this pull is that we have. I won’t lie. I’m hoping against all hope that after this week you will gain the confidence to leave him because right now.” He swallows hard. I watch his Adam’s apple go up and down. “Right now, I can’t stand the thought of you walking away from me.”

  “Oh! You sure are good with words Mr. Se….” I cover my mouth with my hand. I can’t believe I just got ready to call him Mr. Sexy to his face. He’s smiling like the cat that swallowed the canary.

  He leans his ear toward me. “What was that? I don’t think I heard you.”

  Trying desperately to change the subject. I remind him of my earlier question.

  “You know you never answered my question. How old are you?”

  He laughs. “Not going to finish what you were saying. Huh?”

  I pull the corner of my mouth between my teeth and shake my head no. He laughs harder and shakes his head at me.

  “That’s ok; I think I got the gist of that comment. Your question. I forgot about that. The ring, kind of distracted me. I’m twenty. How old are you?”

  “You talk like you’re a lot older than twenty.”

  “Really? Thanks, I guess.” That look, that intense stare he gives me makes me want to crawl into his lap and let him wrap me up in his arms.

  “I’m seventeen.”

  He moves back and looks at me with a stunned look on his face. Scrunching up my face I ask, “Is that a deal breaker for you?”

  “When will you be eighteen?”

  “In four weeks.” I’m laughing now because he lets out a big sigh like he was holding his breath.

  He puts his hand over his heart and clutches at his chest. “That was close. You about gave me a heart attack.”

 

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