by Dani Wyatt
I can’t stop the word from repeating over and over in my fire-seared brain.
Own. Own. Own.
I own her. She’s mine.
It’s still not enough. Maybe it’s the limits of our language. Even “own” falls short. I want to absorb her into my fucking being. Lord over her with control and protection that will be impossible to fracture.
“Wow.” She gives me one of her treasured smiles as I suck her bottom lip into mine.
My cock is ready to shoot fucking bullets as it grazes the slick, wet entrance of heaven, and I feel her body turn into a board.
“Shhhh, it’s okay.” I’ve got my eyes on hers because there is no way I’m going to miss this moment. I want to see everything her face tells me when I turn us into something more than what we were before. “Okay? Are you okay? It’s going to hurt, babe. Are you ready?”
She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and then softens under me. Her thighs open as my hips inch upward, pressing just the tip of my cock into her center, and I almost lose my fucking mind.
I push into her, and then hold steady. Listen for her breaths, watch her eyes widen then fall. Drawing out, then pushing back in, I take more of her with each stroke.
“Oh my god.” I drop my head for a second, trying to stay in the moment.
I can hear her drawing air between her teeth as I give her more. Every muscle in my body is taut, and it stings where her nails cut into the flesh of my forearms.
She’s drawing me forward. I give, then take, then give more until I know I can’t save her from the pain.
“Look at me, Promise.” I wait for her eyelids to flutter open and meet mine, and then I draw back and sink my hips forward with a powerful thrust, hard and deep into her tight walls.
At that moment, nothing matters but the way her body gathers me inside. The only words I can form as I sink into her scream are . . .
“You. Are. Mine.”
It’s a good thing no one else lives in this building because the guttural sounds that follow would have rolled a dead man in his grave.
“Fuck, it’s okay. Hold on, babe . . .” Her body curls around my cock like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s like I can feel every one of those little petals in her tight walls stroking me off.
Unbelievably, her hands come down on my hips, and she takes me a few more inches on her own. My muscles turn to rock as she raises her hips and pushes, the magnificence of it beyond my comprehension.
She lets out a painful moan and stops, and I know what she's taking from me is hurting her, and I also know if you stop, you might not start again. So, I counter with my own thrust, seating the majority of what I know is no starter-dick inside the wet warmth of her body.
The fever raging inside of me breaks. I can't take my eyes off her as the ice blue of her eyes goes white, rolling back in her head.
She is slick, and I know I can give her more, but I don’t. I want her with me, all of her, so I hold steady, the pull of her walls making it one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
Her juices run down the base of my cock, my balls already tight, and it is mind over matter. Not now. Not with her.
I kiss her neck, her cheek, her nose, her top lip then bottom, and her chin, stroking her slowly until I can barely hold on to what is left of my civilized self. I want all of her. I want to map the way each part of her tastes, then go back a thousand times to compare them all.
Finally, she’s back with me, a deep exhale followed by a sweet humming sound as our bodies hang in limbo, my crazy-ass cock blowing me up, trying to convince me to just slam it home and let the chips fall where they may.
No way.
“More. I want more . . .” Her eyes and her words hit me simultaneously, and it is only a fraction of a second before I comply with my baby’s request.
I shift forward, her warmth drenching me with each in and out motion of my cock.
“Hmmmm . . .” Her neck arches back.
I gauge and I measure, rocking back, then forward, back, forward, until my core aches and every part of my being wants to be inside of her. Her body takes me in, spins everything I thought I knew on its head, and the world looks completely different now.
My arms scoop up behind her waist, up her back and draw her against me from nose to toes as my hips lurch forward, giving her as much as I dare.
I listen as she sucks in a breath through her teeth, my eyes never leaving her face, a beautiful tangle of pain and desire.
How long have I wanted this? How long have I imagined her, dreamed how it would feel?
Now, I’m here, and I can’t explain how much more this is to me than my pathetic dreams.
I work one hand down her back, finally getting a handful of the most amazing ass God ever created as I lean my body against her, grinding her open slit into me, trying not to give her more of my length, not today. We’re moving together, I bring my hand back from her ass and steady my body over her on locked elbows.
She’s pushing up on her heels, spreading wide and giving herself to me.
Her mouth is open, sweet shallow breaths coming faster and faster. Her hands dart up, putting a death grip on my forearms as she pulls her body, alternating curling and curving into me and away as I smooth out my thrusts, working every imaginable way I can to bring her pleasure.
I want to seat myself inside her in a way that she can never be undone from me. I want her orgasm to light the sky and quake the ground, and then I want to do that another thousand times so I can see her face and hear her sweet noises forever.
The darkness in her comes into me. She forgets, if just for this moment, all the black moments that came before. Someday, I will erase them from her forever instead of just this moment. But for right now, this—this moment—is precious.
My cock spasms inside of her. I can’t take much more; every tendon in my neck is standing out. My mouth takes hers, and I want to feel her breath inside of me as I kiss her and her noises become a piece of me forever.
Her walls clamp down, and small convulsions jerk her hips up and down. Her body is not her own, and the look in her eyes tells me all the years of waiting have been worth it. I hold myself inside her until she is quivering but still under me. When her eyes lock onto my face in a look of such innocent wonder, it’s more than I can take. A flash of reality hits me, and as she is covering my dick with her glorious cum, I retreat and slip out of her.
My cock is soaking, my hands shaking, and my balls—they're done playing as they leave jets of white on her belly. My head explodes, and my body is engulfed in a hot wave of something other than just the usual sense of relief. I feel something, deep and resonating, that tells me sex will never be the same, not with her.
She’s pulling at my arms as the last of my cum releases on her chest, and I meet her open mouth with mine.
When her tongue goes in search of mine, she seals something between us. I feel it, and she does, too. This is more than just some lusty moment.
It's a turning point.
That violent need to possess her rises up in me like some beast with teeth, and I resolve that there must be some greater power at work here.
Ten years and more tragedy than a library of Shakespeare and here we are. She just took me inside of her, and I will never be the same.
Promise
What did I do?
I can’t think straight. Not when he’s kissing me.
Did I really just let this happen?
God, it felt so good. He feels so good. I forgot what it was like to feel so good.
I’m beginning to think that my mother was wrong. She always said it was more important to take care of yourself than to find love. She said love is the worst kind of pain wrapped up in a pretty package.
Did I just say, love? Like that has something to do with what is going on here?
Tighten up your panties, Promise. Don’t go all storybook. Remember there are trolls under every bridge and dragons behind every corner.
The
muscles in my legs are shaking. Not shaking, quivering. I never thought I would use that word to describe any part of my body, but it’s true.
“Did I tell you how beautiful you are when you come?” Beckett pushes up on his elbows, nose to nose, covering me still.
“Shut up.” I throw an arm above my head and push his grinning face away with my other hand.
His lips are on my neck in a flash of his smile, and I have to fight like heck not to cry at how good it feels.
“I love this.” Beckett strokes his fingertips up and down my inner thigh where I can’t stop the muscles from quivering like a thousand-orgasm aftershock.
The only light is coming from single, dangling industrial fixture over the long table covered with the mysterious notebooks and papers. The glow is casting us both in half-shadow, but I can still see the white of his stupid smile as he raises back up from where he works his magic just above my collarbone.
He’s one of those people who almost looks unnatural without a smile. For me, I have to force my lips to turn upward. I physically have to think about it most of the time, but not Beckett. He’s got those amazing lips that just look like they invented smiling. And, every time I see the crooked way his face crimps into where his scars start, I imagine what he would have been like if he’d not gone through whatever pain caused those marks.
For a split second, I remember how different he looked in the street below when he destroyed my attackers. He didn’t just look different; he was different. If I hadn’t been curled up in my own ball of panic, he would have scared the shit out of me. There is something bubbling below the surface in him, and if I was thinking straight, I would probably see a giant red flag waving.
“I won’t shut up.” He gives me a soft, quick kiss, and my stupid belly does loop-da-loops again. “But, what I will do is get the shower going because I’m going to enjoy the hell out of you again, but I seem to have made quite a mess on this beautiful body. So, let’s kill two birds with one stone, shall we? Or, maybe three. Clean up, get dirty, clean up again?”
He bounces up, off of me and the bed, like a spring.
Watching his naked body stride away, I think he has be photoshopped, right? Nobody is that perfect. Every contour and indent is cast in shadow, and he glows with just a sheen of sweat. He is the perfect blend of lean and buff. Just enough rippling muscle but not too much bulk. I take in and let out an audible uneven breath and my lips turn upward without effort.
Whatever this is, I’m in trouble. I don’t want this.
Do I?
Sure, it feels good, but it’s not for me. Especially not now.
My eyes scan for the robe. I want to cover myself. Even lying here on the bed, my belly is far less than a flat plane, and there are no signs of my hipbones. The endorphins, or whatever sexy voodoo he used on me, are wearing off, and more than anything, I do not want to be naked in front of him when he comes back.
And, I’m hurting. My shoulders feel like they’ve been scraped over a cheese grater, and my hand is starting to swell from the throbbing cut. Not to mention parts of me that are reminded of just how big Beckett’s south-of-the-border soldier is.
I wrap myself in my arms, trying to cover what I can, and slip off the bed, its crisp, white sheets smelling of lavender and are so white they almost glow. I bend over to grab the robe where he flung it and shove my arms in as quickly as I can.
“Hey.” I nearly jump out of my skin when Beckett leans in behind me.
“Hey.” I jerk the robe closed, and I am not entirely sure how to feel about the deposits that are still sticking to the front of me. Leave it to me to fall into bed with someone and not even have the adult conversation about wearing a condom. Not that I ever expected to be here. Or doing this.
As a matter of fact, I’ve never even had to think about having that conversation before. Ever.
His hands are on my shoulders, and I wince as he turns me around to stare right into my face. His eyes are blending hues of blue and green, rimmed in those black lashes, and I can’t imagine what sort of magic created eyes like his.
“What’s wrong?” He looks at the robe like a kid who just lost the ice cream off his cone.
“I—” I pull my lips to the side. I hate that I do that when I’m nervous. It’s a dead giveaway, and Beckett doesn’t miss the subtle cue.
He doesn’t wait for more of an answer before his arms curl around me, and I’m against his naked body. He hugs me so tight, I can feel each thump of his heart even through the thick fabric of the robe.
“You’re okay. Everything is okay.” He kisses the top of my head, and I want to push him away as hard as I can. I feel trapped.
He’s so damn genuine; I think I’m starting to hate him. I’ve lived for so long with a flatlined, emotional EKG. Now, he’s got the needle jerking up and down.
“Tell me what’s going on in there.” He taps my forehead gently with his index finger. “And, silence is not an acceptable answer. Neither is ‘nothing’ or ‘I’m fine” or any other bullshit answers. I’m going to tell you a secret.” He’s holding onto me like I’m about to fly out the window. “I have a superpower.”
I hate that I smile into his chest.
“Really? Another one?”
He lets out a satisfied chuckle.
“Yes. Another one. I have a truth detector. Not a lie detector, this is different. I know when someone is telling the truth. I can feel it, like someone hitting that little, silver, dinging thing on a reception desk.”
“Wow, you’ve tested this scientifically, I’m sure.”
“Yup. Johns Hopkins first took note of my super power when I was still a teenager. Then, the government came and scooped me up into a secret testing program. I pretend to just be an average Joe.” His voice is cracking, trying not to laugh as he continues with his absurd story.
As much as I try not to, I like him. A lot. My muscles relax, and he draws me into him even closer.
“So, out with it. What’s wrong? I realize I’m not the best lover in the world, but I’ve got to be a close second. So, I apologize ahead of time for my shortcomings in that department. But, I do get an ‘A’ for effort, I hope.”
Not that I have a clue about a good lover versus a bad lover, but I am fairly sure he would be on the damn good side of that debate.
Promise
“I should go. I should get home—” He pushes me out far enough to see my face, his brow coming together as he glares playfully at me, and the words tumble out. “I don’t know why. I just want to leave. I have this overwhelming sense of dread all the sudden.”
“Well then.” He lifts his hands from my shoulders, and the dread is even heavier without them there. Why do I want this so much one second and the next I can’t wait to get away? “I know one thing. There’s no way you’re leaving without me. The second thing I know is, no matter what, you need a shower. So, let’s just settle for getting you cleaned up. I’ll leave it up to you if you want to invite me in to give you an assist. I’m at your service if needed.”
He slips around behind me, arms draping around my neck, and shuffles me forward with his own motion. I can’t miss that his cock is still standing tall. He is utterly shameless and confident, and it only makes this that much harder.
“I have all sorts of services you may be interested in,” he murmurs seductively in my ear. I fight the smile as his breath warms my already pink cheek, and my body practically folds into itself, like he’s just thrown a lucky penny into the fountain between my legs.
“I’m sure you think you do.” I play along, and he lets out a laugh that echoes in the ceiling.
“That’s what I want to hear. Just be careful, there is a fine line between playful and disrespectful.” His fingertips brush down my hair and settle on the neck of the robe, making quick work of slipping it down my back. His voice is a sensual mixture of calm control and boyish humor.
What line? There’s a line?
I decide to leave that comment alone. I’m conflic
ted as to whether or not it turns me on or pisses me off. His fingertips are on the back of my neck, gently lowering the robe.
“God, babe.” His voice turns sad as the robe drops from my shoulders into a blue, velour puddle around my feet.
I shiver as his fingertips graze over the raw, painful areas on my shoulders and back, and I can’t help but wince and make a hissing sound.
“What? Is it bad?” I twist my head around as if to actually view my own back.
The look in his eyes is more than I want to see. He is Dr. Beckett and Mr. Fitzgerald inside that body, and I shiver from head to toe seeing the change in his eyes.
“Yeah. It’s fucking bad.” His voice drops two octaves and goes completely flat as his fingers freeze on top of the bruises and scrapes left from being dragged.
I’m frozen along with him because this person is not the same one that was here just twenty seconds ago. This is someone I would run from if I could make my feet listen.
If there is a way to be more naked than I was a few minutes ago, I am now. My heart is thumping, and I have an intense need to escape, but my feet are stuck. If I needed to scream, I am very sure no sound would come out.
I can hear Beckett take a huge breath in, and I don’t know why but I start counting.
One.
Two.
Three . . . Four . . . Five . . . Six . . .
He still hasn’t exhaled, and my face is starting to burn. The muscles in my shoulders where he’s still touching me are about to snap.
Seven . . . Eight . . . Nine . . . Ten . . .
“Beck?”
The breath that has been stuck inside him emerges, and his energy shifts and Dr. Beckett is back.
“I’ll never let anything like that happen to you again.” He sounds so sad, and I’m afraid to turn around. “I want to wipe it from your memory, starting right now.” His voice catches.
He lifts his fingers; his touch becomes flat palms running down the sides of my spine until they swoop around my waist and rest over my belly button while whistles and sirens are going off inside my head.