by Gayla Twist
“I feel more for you than I ever imagined I could.” His eyes searched mine. “But I need to explain,” Jessie said, furrowing his forehead as he struggled with some dark burden that I knew he was reluctant to share. “I need to tell you about my family.”
“Please don’t,” I said, closing the gap between us. “Not now. I know that there is some horrible secret that you hide from the world. But I don’t want to know. Not yet. I just want to love you, and know that you love me, and not worry about whatever your family really does with the blood for Arthur.”
“I love you,” Jessie whispered, his voice hoarse. “I’ve loved you since before I even met you. I can’t begin to explain how, but it’s true.”
“I know,” I told him. “I feel the exact same way.”
“But still,” he went on. “This secret of my family’s... It’s much worse than you can possibly imagine.”
“Please don’t,” I told him, touching his perfect lips to stop his words. “Don’t tell me you love me and then spoil it all in the next breath. Let me just enjoy this moment.” He nodded his head slightly. “I have something for you,” I said, suddenly feeling shy. Jessie was from an incredibly wealthy family. The watch I had purchased for him was only made of gold plate.
“What is it?” he asked, sensing my sudden reluctance.
“It’s not much,” I admitted, pulling the small package form the pocket of my robe.
He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. “If it’s from you, then I shall cherish it forever,” he assured me.
I carefully observed his face as he unwrapped the watch and read the engraving. “It’s wonderful,” he said, and I could tell he was sincere. “The engraving alone means the world to me.”
“I meant every word,” I told him. “I’m not sure how, but our love does feel timeless. At least it does for me.”
“It does for me,” he quickly assured me. “I know that I’ll never stop loving you.” And then he dropped to one knee and took my hand. “There’s a question I need to ask you.”
Chapter 42
Jessie
“She left?” I asked, frowning at my little sister.
“Yes,” Emily said, nodding a few times. “Mrs. Denkler sent her home in a car.”
My impulse was to rush over to the Gibson house immediately to see if Colette was alright, but the sun was still shining in the sky so I wouldn’t have made it very far.
“Do you have any idea what happened?” I asked, both of my hands clenched at my sides with the frustration of my impotence.
“All I know is that Colette went upstairs to deliver the flowers that she brought. Mrs. Denkler followed her.” Emily shifted from foot to foot, obviously feeling anxious as well. “And then Denkie was dragging Colette downstairs by the arm and ordering the chauffeur to bring the car around to the back to take her home.”
I ran my hand through my hair a few times. “Do you think it had anything to do with Arthur?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” Emily looked alarmed. She knew how important it was to keep the family’s unfortunate situation a secret. “That’s the only thing I can think it might be.”
Quickly, I sought Mrs. Denkler, finding her in her sitting room, having a cup of tea. “What happened to Colette?” I asked.
“Who?” she asked, frowning slightly, as if trying to place the name.
“Colette Gibson,” I said for clarity. “I heard that she had to go home for the day.”
“Oh, you mean Miss Gibson, the housemaid,” she said, setting down her cup. “Yes, I think we may no longer be in need of Miss Gibson’s services.”
“What in the world happened?” I asked. I needed some sort of explanation because my imagination was running wild.
“Someone apparently left the door to Arthur’s room unlocked and it popped open. I’m afraid she saw into the room,” Mrs. Denkler informed me.
“I heard she was injured,” I pressed.
“She stumbled and may have hurt her arm,” the housekeeper admitted. “But it was just a little bump. Nothing of consequence.”
“But what did you tell her?” I asked. “How did you explain Arthur’s absence?”
She gave a small shrug, as if she couldn’t understand my concern. “I said that he had left last week for a clinic in New York.”
“And she believed you?” I demanded.
“I see no reason why she wouldn’t believe me,” Mrs. Denkler said with the conviction of a person who was used to never being questioned. “I think she found the soiled goblets a bit disconcerting, and she did have a few questions as to why we were still paying people for their blood. But I explained that it was healthier for the town if the donations continued.”
I stared at the housekeeper for several seconds, trying to decide if she was being intentionally obtuse. “Are you saying that you purposely frightened the girl?”
Mrs. Denkler shook her head. “Girls like that are never frightened. Not even when it’s obvious that they should be.” She gave me a penetrating look with eyes as hard as flint. “She’s the kind of girl who always makes trouble in a great house. I should have seen that. I would have never hired her, but...” She paused for a moment with a far-away look in her eyes and then shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll release her from her position tomorrow and that will be the end of it.”
“You will do no such thing,” I informed her.
The housekeeper put her hands on her hips and glared at me. “I have a responsibility to run this house in the manner that it was run when your grandfather was alive. He never tolerated nonsense from the staff. Especially the kind of nonsense I suspect has been going on for the past few months.” She gave me a significant look. “The Vanderlind reputation must be upheld.”
“You have an obligation to do as you are told, Mrs. Denkler,” I informed her. “You are not above being released from your position. Just remember that.”
Mrs. Denkler’s eyes bulged with surprise and she clutched at the lace on her high collar. “You wouldn’t,” she exclaimed. “I’ve been the housekeeper for the castle since before you were born.” Her eyes were glistening and I saw that she was actually fighting back tears.
“You’re right, Denkie,” I told her, squeezing her shoulder to be reassuring. “I wouldn’t. But let’s not fight over this. Just make sure that Miss Gibson remains employed here and we’ll say nothing else about it.”
The tears were instantly replaced by Mrs. Denkler’s customary shrewd appearance. “You want the maid to stay a maid. I understand.”
That was not my point, by any means, but I didn’t want to argue with her any longer.
The rest of the day passed at a snail’s pace. I was practically climbing the walls. As soon as the sun dipped below the horizon, I was out the door. And outside Colette’s window a few minutes after that, concealing myself in the long shadows of the backyard. It was foolish to arrive so early. My skin was throbbing with the pain of the dwindling sunlight and Colette wouldn’t be expecting me until much later, if she was expecting me at all. But I had to be near here. I had to know that she wasn’t injured in any way. I had to know if she still loved me, or if she now considered me some kind of fiend.
As the minutes slowly dragged by, I grew increasingly anxious about Colette’s affections. I’d only known her for a few short months, but her feelings for me were the axis upon which my whole world turned. If Mrs. Denkler had revealed more than she’d admitted, or if Colette was able to surmise the truth from what she saw in Arthur’s room, then there was a strong possibility that I would never hold my dear girl in my arms again. It would be a harsh reality, but one that I would more than likely have to face. I only wished that I had been the one to tell her about the curse that my grandfather had spread to all of us. That would have been the noble thing to do. Instead I just kept ignoring the truth because I so desperately wanted to be with her. If only I hadn’t caught scarlet fever. If only Grandfather had been a better man. But such was my life. I had to accept
the fact that fate was a cruel master.
The light in Colette’s bedroom came on as the hour approached ten and then went off again shortly thereafter. I knew that Colette shared a room with her sister and that she had to wait until Lilly had fallen asleep.
I stood by our apple tree and waited, my eyes glued to the window. An hour ticked past and there was no movement that I could discern. As the second hour got underway, I saw the curtain twitch and caught a glimpse of Colette’s hair. She probably assumed she was concealed by the darkness of her room, but I could see her as plain as day. Stepping away from the tree, I stood on the lawn, looking up at her. Moving the curtain aside, Colette looked down at me.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. She was just so lovely; it ripped at my heart not to be able to take her in my arms. But she wasn’t moving. She wasn’t coming down to be by my side. She just stood there, safe behind the walls of her family’s home, and stared at me.
Did she know the full truth? Or had she simply guessed that the secret that I’d been on the verge of telling her so many times was much worse than she’d ever imagined. I knew she hadn’t completely turned against me. If she had, then she wouldn’t have been standing there with her palm pressed against the glass.
Lilly must have awoken and drawn Colette’s attention because she suddenly turned away and then disappeared from view. I stood on the lawn for most of the rest of the night, but Colette did not return to the window. I knew she wouldn’t, but I found it almost impossible to leave.
I decided to sleep in my coffin that dawn. It wasn’t my usual custom, but I felt like I needed walls around me or I might explode. I hated that I was a vampire. I felt desperate to escape the prison of being a member of the undead. I longed for the simple pleasures of mortality, like holding Colette’s hand while strolling in the sunshine.
“What’s this I hear about housemaids sneaking into Arthur’s room?” Daniel demanded as he stalked into the dining hall the next evening. “I knew we should have never hired anyone local.”
“I think you’re being a bit overdramatic, darling,” Mother said, setting down her goblet. “One of the maids got a peek into Arthur’s room because someone left the door unlocked. But Mrs. Denkler explained it all away, so there’s no need to get your nose bent out of shape.”
“Well, I think we should fire her anyway,” Daniel said, helping himself to a crystal goblet and filling it from a carafe on the table. “Or maybe get rid of her altogether. One can never be too cautious about these things.”
“You will not touch one hair on her head!” I found myself snarling from my seat on the other side of the table. It was a ridiculous thing to have said. Mother was making light of the problem and that was probably the best course of action. But Daniel was so cavalier about ending the life of the girl I loved, that I found it hard to control my temper.
“Oh,” my brother said with an amused smirk. “Was it the little trollop who Jessie’s been toying with? Well, this does add an intriguing twist to the evening.”
“She’s not a trollop and I haven’t been toying with her,” I informed him, knowing full well that I was rising to the bait.
Daniel cocked an eyebrow and took on a superior tone. “So what have you decided to do with the girl?” he asked. “Don’t leave us all in suspense.”
“I’ve decided that I’m going to ask her to marry me,” I said, glaring straight back into his eyes.
“You can’t!” Daniel practically shrieked. “The undead can’t marry the living. The Bishops would never stand for it.”
“They would if I conjoin with her,” I said, keeping my own voice steady. “And that is what I intend to do.”
“Conjoin?!” Daniel sounded like I had just offered him a slug of poison. “You know some little trollop for a few weeks and you decide you want to be with her forever?”
“Yes,” I said, firmly.
“Then just turn her, you fool!” my brother exclaimed. “That’s the reasonable thing to do. You can’t bond yourself for eternity to someone who is going to get old and gray while you’re still in your prime. That’s insanity.”
“That’s love,” our mother said in a much quieter voice.
Daniel swung around to face her. “You’re not helping!” he shouted.
“Watch your tone,” she said to him. Then, turning to me, Mother said, “Sweetheart, you know that if you conjoin with a mortal, then you can never be with anyone else, not for the rest of eternity. You wouldn’t be able to be with your own kind.”
“Not that a vampiress would have you,” Daniel said with a sneer.
“You would probably be shunned from vampire society,” Mother pointed out. “And what would you do after she passed away?”
It was a thought so painful to me that I had trouble even thinking about it. “I don’t know.”
“You make me sick,” my brother said. “Thinking you’re in love... You’ve been going to the damn theater too often. You’re not in love. You don’t know anything about it.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s the way I feel.”
“But you’re only seventeen,” Mother insisted. “How do you know it’s the way you will always feel?”
“Turn her,” Daniel said. “If you don’t like her as a vampiress, you can always stake her and be done with it.”
“Daniel,” Mother exclaimed. “I hope you are being facetious.”
My brother gave her a flat look. “What would you have me say? He can’t conjoin with her. That would bring shame to all of us. I’m not going to be ostracized from all good society just because Jessie has a crush.”
“It’s more than a crush,” I assured him. “Much more.”
“Oh, save your romantic pap for the mortal,” Daniel snarled. “I don’t buy any of it.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” I told him, “but I’m not changing my mind.”
“Mother,” Daniel said, turning to face her. “Are you going to stand for this nonsense?”
Our mother lifted her hands, palms up, in dismay. “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
“I think the family’s honor should come before Jessie’s foolish notions of love.”
I knew Daniel and I would never see eye-to-eye, so I addressed our mother when I said, “I want to go before the Bishops and explain my position.”
“You will do no such thing,” Daniel snapped, shoving between us and getting right up in my face. “I won’t let you.”
I gave him a steady look. “It’s not up to you.”
“I am the head of this family now,” Daniel said, sticking his chin in the air.
This caused me to grin. “Only in your own mind.”
“Mother, are you going to allow him to do this?” Daniel whined.
“Both of you need to stop,” she said in her most no-nonsense tone. “I think we should wait and allow cooler heads to prevail. Daniel, you need to stop thinking you’re in charge. I had quite enough of that from your grandfather.” Turning to me, she said, “And you need to slow down. This is a monumental decision and it shouldn’t be made on just one day’s sleep.”
“But...” I intended to protest that I hadn’t made the decision lightly, but Mother held up her hand.
“Daniel is right in that this decision will affect all of us, so I ask that you not do anything too hastily.” Reaching up, she caressed my cheek and looked into my eyes. “I know you don’t take love lightly,” she told me, “but I think a little patience is called for. A few months delay won’t mean the end of the world. And right now I think you really need some perspective.”
“You’re wrong,” I said. “Both of you. The love I feel for Colette is different than anything I ever imagined. It’s as if my life only really began when I met her.”
“I can’t stay here and listen to this nonsense,” Daniel growled. “I’m going upstairs to pack a bag. If Jessie’s going to ruin the family, I’m sure not going to stand around and watch it.” He glanced at our mother. �
��I’m going to New York. Call me when you’ve talk some sense into him.”
If it had been only Daniel who was against me, then I would have simply ignored him. But I had always heeded the advice of my mother. I knew she had my best interest in mind. If she thought I needed time to reconsider, then I needed to take some time.
Daniel was as good as his word. He left the castle later that night. I was happy to see the back of him. I didn’t need him glowering at me and complaining about the honor of the family. Families survived scandal all the time. It was true that conjoining with a mortal was something that would probably ostracize me from the undead world, but I found that the more I thought about it, the less I cared. I’d never wanted to be part of the undead world.
“You won’t have enough time to make it to New York,” Mother said, as Daniel was headed out the door.
“I’ll overnight in Cleveland,” he said, giving her a brusque kiss on the cheek. “I just need to get out of here before I ram a stake through Jessie’s romantic heart.”
“It’s probably best that you go for a little while,” she said, leading him to the door. “Have a safe flight.”
“Update me when my little brother has come to his senses,” he said, sparing me a withering glance and then disappearing into the night.
It was painful, but I didn’t go to see Colette that night. My brain became too full of pink champagne bubbles whenever I was near her. I desperately wanted to fly along the river to try to clear my head. But I knew if I went outside, then I would suddenly find myself in Colette’s yard. So I stuck to the castle, spending most of the night in my room. My isolation was a special kind of torture, with my thoughts being constantly filled by Colette. I wanted to see her so desperately, and yet I had no idea if she wanted to see me.
I spent another day in my coffin, practically tearing apart the upholstery. All I could think about was Colette. How could she possibly have won my heart so easily? And how could I ever give her up?
Ending my romance with Colette Gibson and then leaving Tiburon for the next couple of decades would be the right thing to do. Turning her into a member of the undead would be the selfish thing to do. And conjoining with Colette for the rest of her life, and the rest of my eternity, would be the foolish thing to do. I knew all of that. The only problem was; I didn’t know which option to choose. I couldn’t see clearly which was the right path to take. By the time the sun was starting to set and I climbed out of my coffin for the evening, I knew only one thing for sure; I had to see her.