by Travis, Todd
“If my folks died, I don’t think I’d even notice. They’re never home anyway,” Shakes said. “And I don’t think they’d notice if I was gone, either.”
“So what happened, after her mom died,” Darin asked Shakes. “She went crazy?”
“Kind of,” Shakes lowered his voice to a whisper. “She tried to kill herself a couple times, once her freshman year, once as a sophomore. First time she took a whole bottle of Tylenol, but they pumped her stomach. The last time she hung herself in her room with an extension cord or something, but her dad found her in time. That was a couple years ago, though; she hasn’t tried to do it again since then.”
“Because of her mom, huh?” Darin said. “How’d she die?”
“Uh, cancer, I think. Pretty bad, I guess.”
“You know her, talk to her? What’s she like?”
“I think she’s cool. She don’t talk much, I mean, not at all, really, just a word or two when she has to, but … she’s cool.”
It suddenly dawned on Shakes that Detention Johnson’s interest in Valerie might not bode well for his own chances with her. “She just doesn’t like to be bothered or messed with, that’s all.”
“Neither do I,” Darin said.
“Me, too,” said Special Ed.
“Me, three,” Shakes chimed in, happy as this was almost like a real friend conversation.
Darin watched as Valerie got on the museum elevator, going upstairs. It occurred to him that this was the first time he’d had a conversation with any student at his school that didn’t involve a business transition for one of his products. Kids either spoke to him about drugs or they left him alone.
He realized that he didn’t really know much about his classmates, at least anything that he hadn’t observed or overheard by random chance. Teachers didn’t like him and Darin didn’t like them, so as a result Darin spent a lot of time in detention or just out of school on suspension. Most of what he knew about Shakes or anyone was something he’d overheard teachers or other students gossiping about.
Jason Goodwin and a couple of his jock buddies noted that Darin was finally free of Healy and strolled over. Goodwin faked a punch at Shakes, who flinched. Goodwin laughed.
“Detention Johnson, just the man I wanna see. Shakes, you and Special Ed, get the fuck outta here before I beat the living shit out of both of you. I gots business with my man here.”
Shakes looked down at his shoes and scooted off, Ed behind him.
“So. You got something?” Goodwin asked when they were alone.
“What do you want?”
“The usual, my man.”
Darin looked around. Healy stood with Arnett over on the other side of the floor, not looking his way but still in view.
“Can’t right now. Healy’s been all over me all day. Maybe later.”
“Let’s go to the bathroom, do it now.”
“Nah, he’ll figure it out. Later. At the restaurant, after he’s had a few.”
“Don’t let me down, Detention. Sixty, right?”
“Hundred, as usual.”
“Don’t I get a preferred customer discount?”
“Nope, no discounts.”
“I think you should give me some credit, man, I’m like, free advertisement for your business and shit. I’ve sent a lot of money your way through my friends. I deserve a buy-back just for that shit alone, don’t you think?”
Goodwin smiled and leaned in, invading Darin’s personal space and trying to intimidate him. Goodwin had a couple inches and thirty pounds of muscle on Darin, as did most of his jock friends standing close by. Darin stayed expressionless.
“No buy-backs, I’m not running a bar here. I’m in a cash business, you want product, put the cash up front. No cash, no product. No advances, no credit. My product, my prices, my policies. Don’t like it, you’re free to shop somewhere else.”
The smile dropped off of Goodwin’s face. He studied Darin for a moment, then faked a punch at him. Darin didn’t flinch or move. Goodwin laughed.
“I like you, Detention, you’re too cool for school. Okay, a hundred it is, but only because I like you. Later, at the steakhouse, you and me. Don’t leave me hanging.”
Goodwin and his pals rolled away, goofing and laughing. Darin noticed Healy eyeballing him from the far side of the first floor.
Valerie found what she was looking for on the next floor. It was Girolamo da Treviso’s painting of Madonna and Child on wood. She’d never seen it up close and real like this, only in books. It moved her so much she took off her sunglasses, turned off her music and just let it wash over her in silence.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Linda Sue said, appearing beside her.
Valerie sighed, “Yes.” She didn’t think she’d ever get away from this girl.
“It makes me think about when I’m going to be married and have a baby, and that makes me so happy,” Linda Sue said. “I want to have lots of babies. Someday.”
Valerie didn’t respond. She didn’t want to think about that, not at all. Having children meant they’d grow up and watch as you grew old and would eventually die before their eyes, as her mom did to her. Valerie didn’t want to do that to her kids.
Linda Sue turned and faced Valerie. “I have something for you, I was going to give it to you later, but I think this is a better time. Here.”
Linda Sue held out an embossed envelope for her.
“What is it?”
“Open it, you’ll see.”
“Look, I get it, you’re trying to be nice, but—”
“It’s for your AND your dad. Just open it, it’s so awesome. Please, for me?”
Valerie sighed again, opened the envelope. Inside was an expensive invitation on bone white paper with raised gold letters. She read it, then looked up at Linda Sue in disbelief.
“A purity ball?”
“Yes! It’s a dance and a dinner, we get to dress up and—”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“No, not at all. I’m president of the purity movement at Radford, after all,” she pointed to her purity pin. “It’s our annual ball and banquet.”
“You want me to put on a dress and go to a dance … with my dad?”
“We attend with our fathers, we promise that, until we get married, they’ll be the only man in our life. That’s what this pin represents. Purity. Purity for Jesus.”
“That’s sick.”
“It is NOT sick, it’s the opposite of that, it’s about purity and staying—”
“What makes you think I’m a virgin?”
“What? Aren’t you?”
“What makes you think I am?”
“I mean, I just assumed … I’ve never seen or heard of you … doing those things … with boys, never saw you with … so I thought—”
“Maybe I’m not a virgin, maybe I do guys left and right and you just haven’t heard about it.”
“Is that true?”
“I’m just saying, you don’t know if I am or I am not. You don’t know me at all and yet you invited me to this bullshit.”
“I just thought … it’d be nice for you and your dad, that’s all. It’s—”
“But if I’m not a virgin, then me and my dad are just shit out of luck in terms of your purity ball, I guess, right?”
“You wouldn’t be able to go, I’m sorry, but—”
“So if I’ve HAD sex, that means I’ve sinned and there goes my shot at Jesus.”
“That’s not true. Jesus loves you no matter what, as long as you give yourself to him. It’s not too late. You can always, ALWAYS beg God for forgiveness.”
“And why the hell would I do that?”
“What … what do you mean?”
“Why would I do that? Why would I want anything to do with Him?”
“But …”
“If there is a God, He’s the one who should be begging ME for forgiveness, not the other way around.”
Linda Sue was overwhelmed. She’
d been trying to get Valerie Weems to open up for three months and rarely got more than a word or two from her. Now she was finally speaking to her, but it was an all out attack and Linda Sue didn’t know how to respond.
“That’s … that’s ridiculous, why would God beg you—”
“What’s ridiculous is you and everything you stand for and believe in!”
“No, it’s not. Jesus loves you and—”
“Jesus doesn’t give a shit about me. And I don’t give a shit about him.”
“That’s … that’s …”
“Sacrilegious? You bet your virgin ass it is. Easy for you to talk about God’s love, you’ve got both your parents, you’ve never lost anyone or know anything at all about real pain. So, for the last time, don’t talk to me, don’t read me Bible verses, don’t bother me AT ALL anymore. I want both you AND Jesus to fucking leave me alone.”
Valerie was surprised at herself, surprised that she was able to feel anger. It’d been so long since she felt it, but Linda Sue had broken through and actually gotten Valerie pissed off, and the adrenaline felt good as it coursed through her veins. For the first time in years, Valerie felt her pulse race.
Linda Sue turned a bright shade of red, unable to speak. She spun around and walked away, but stopped after a few paces. Took a deep breath, let it out. Turned back around, her sanctimonious smile back on her face.
“I love Jesus and he loves me. He fills me with his love. That’s why I’m happy and you’re not. Because I love Jesus. Maybe that’s why I still have my mom and you … don’t. You didn’t believe, didn’t love him enough, and that’s why you suffered.”
Linda Sue walked away and left Valerie alone with the painting of Madonna and Child and that final thought. Valerie didn’t feel angry anymore, just numb and tired, and if anything the vast emptiness after the rush of anger felt far deeper and more alone than it had before she got pissed off. Which meant it was all a complete and utter waste.
After they were all finally done, filed out of the museum and trooped up onto the bus, Shakes just sat down in the seat next to Darin in the front without even pausing or asking. Darin groaned internally.
The last thing he needed was this goofy little kid adopting him as a friend or mentor. He’d have to make that crystal clear before the night was over. That thought was interrupted as they both watched Valerie Weems board the bus and head back to her seat. She seemed upset about something, too. Darin did have the thought, though, that the closer one looked at her, the prettier she got.
Once Valerie had made her way to the back of the bus, she discovered one of Linda Sue’s Christ Warrior school friends sitting in her seat. Valerie stood there, silent. Linda Sue just smirked at her.
Evidently the Save-The-Soul-of-Valerie-Weems-Project had reached an end, she mused to herself with dark humor. Valerie turned around and sat next to Faye “Fat Chick” Clemons instead. There wasn’t much room as that she took up more than one seat, even on a chartered bus like this one, but at least she left Valerie alone. She didn’t even look at Valerie, just stared out the window, her shoulders shaking, crying silently. She blotted each tear with a clutch of tissues.
Valerie wondered what it would be like, to feel bad enough to cry. She hadn’t cried herself in a long time, it seemed alien to her, though it wasn’t hard to imagine why Faye was crying. Other than Shakes Hobart, no student took more shit than Faye “Fat Chick” Clemons. It’d been that way since the fourth grade.
Valerie selected Eleanor Rigby on the playlist and hit play.
Chapter Eleven
Darin hadn’t been in a lot of fancy steak and lobster houses. He’d been in exactly none, actually, troubled foster kids like him didn’t get much of an opportunity for that sort of thing, but he wasn’t that impressed with this one. Yeah, the napkins were made of cloth and there were three or four different kinds of forks, but the food seemed no different from what you could get at Red Lobster, it just cost a fuck of a lot more.
They could all order whatever they wanted from the menu, they were told, it was all paid for by the fundraising that the class had done the year before as juniors. Technically, Darin hadn’t been a part of that, hadn’t done any of the volunteer activities or fundraising, mainly because he’d spent a lot of time on suspension. For some reason they’d let him attend this trip anyway.
Darin studied at the menu, not even seeing the words, and glanced around at his tablemates. He hadn’t wanted to have to sit next to Healy, that’s all he cared about. But as luck would have it, each table could seat only six and Healy was more interested in sitting next to Ms. Arnett and probably didn’t want Darin listening in on whatever it was he was whispering to her. The two of them sat with four honor students instead.
The other tables had filled up fast, each with its own clique, the jocks and their girlfriends, the bible-bangers, the mean girls, the video gamers and skateboarders, the rich kids and all the little subgroups that broke off from there. Darin found himself standing, looking at a lone table, with Shakes, Special Ed, Fat Chick Clemons and, of course, Valerie Weems, the latter of whom made the situation much more interesting, Darin thought. After a moment’s hesitation, they all moved for a seat. Shakes rushed to pull out a chair for Valerie, who nodded her thanks and sat down. They all did.
And that’s how the five of them, the furious five, came together.
Darin noticed that Valerie still had her sunglasses on, but in this light that made it hard to read the menu. When she finally pulled them down to read what was on there, Darin saw that her eyes were bright blue. He liked that.
He also noted that Shakes, sitting next to her, was so nervous and tongue-tied that he was nearly purple. The kid was likely to accidentally stab himself with a fork before the night was over.
Waiters bustled back and forth from the tables, serving water and taking orders as the whole class chatted and spoke. Special Ed looked uncomfortable.
“What’s the matter, man?” Darin asked.
“I don’t know what to order,” Ed said.
“Order whatever you want.”
“Okay,” Ed looked at the menu, not even pretending he could read it, at a loss.
“Order lobster,” Darin said. “You like lobster?”
“I don’t know. That’s the thing with claws, right?”
“Right.”
“I’ve never had it. I don’t think I’d like it, though. Because of the claws. And it looks like a big ole’ bug, I think.”
“So order steak, you like steak, right?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? You’ve never had steak?”
“No. We never have it. My grandma says red meat gets all stuck up in her bowels and makes her constipated.”
Darin didn’t know how to respond to that, at first, and felt his tablemates try and fail not to smile. Even Valerie seemed amused under her “don’t fuck with me” vibe. Special Ed felt everyone looking at him and looked up from the menu.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Not supposed to talk bathroom business at the dinner table, I know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. So no steak. Steak’s out,” Darin said.
“Steak’s out for me, too,” Shakes said. “At least it is now.”
Everyone at the table chuckled, even Valerie nearly smiled. Darin noted her involvement in the conversation and that spurred him to continue.
“So what do you like?” Darin asked Ed.
“You mean, besides ice cream? Uh, I like chicken. We eat a lot chicken.”
“Okay, chicken it is,” Darin studied the menu. “There is … no chicken.”
“No chicken?” Ed said.
“If there is, I don’t see it. Lots of seafood and steak.”
“Order the Cornish Hen. That’s basically chicken,” Faye said. “It’s down on the bottom, back page.”
“It’s a chicken?” Ed asked.
“A special breed of chicken, named from some place in England, I forget whe
re, it’s smaller than a regular one, but tastes the same. Comes with carrots and oven-roasted potatoes, it’s really good. If you like chicken, you’ll like this,” Faye said.
“Oh goody, I like potatoes, too. Okay, I’ll have that, the chicken from England.”
Shakes couldn’t help it and started laughing. Ed looked up, confused at first. Then Ed started chuckling, too. Darin and Faye joined in.
“Sounds pretty good,” Darin said. “English chicken for me, too.”
“Me, three!” Shakes said. “Chicken from England. Tastes great and it’s better on the bowels.”
That really killed everyone at the table and even Valerie had to smile.
“It must be a party now, the losers are laughing, too!” Goodwin shouted from his table. That shut everyone except Darin up, who glanced over at Goodwin.
Goodwin winked at Darin, mouthing words, “not you,” with a false smile and blew him a kiss. Goodwin jerked his chin over to the bathroom, intent clear. Darin noticed Healy eyeballing him, ignored Goodwin and turned back to his table, shaking his head.
“Asshole,” Darin said under his breath.
“Yeah,” Shakes said. “Me, too.”
“Me, three!” Ed said and that cracked the guys up again. The waiter came by to tell them about the specials, rattling them off in a blur, and asked what he could get them.
“English chicken!” Ed said and they all laughed again.
The waiter made his way around the table and everyone except Faye ordered the Cornish Hen. When the waiter got to Valerie he’d already taken three orders for Cornish Hens from the boys and asked, “Same for you?” and Valerie simply nodded.
The waiter moved on to Faye, who just asked for water and repeated it when the waiter asked her if she was sure that’s all she wanted. He took their orders and hurried off.
“You’re not going to eat?” Shakes asked Faye.
“No, I’m not … I’m not hungry.”
“Bullshit,” Valerie said.
Everyone at the table stopped, shocked that Valerie had spoken.
“What?” Faye finally squeaked out.