After the storm had torn through the town, he’d attempted to stay. He’d remained with the force and tried to rent a house and start over. But he couldn’t. The few things they’d accumulated between the storm and now were still in boxes. They were just things, he told himself. His entire life had taken on a whole new perspective since that fateful day. So why hadn’t he unpacked them?
When he heard the voice in his ear bark out his name, he focused his attention back on the call from his captain. “Why would I want to know this?”
Cameron laughed into the line. “I just had a hunch you’d want to know we picked up the driver who hit Lucy.”
Damn it. Was he that transparent? Was something that he’d barely admitted to himself obvious to everyone else?
“Well, I’m glad he was caught,” Noah stated. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“I just spoke to Lucy, as well,” Cameron went on to say. “She’s taking the night off.”
He’d been at her house earlier that day. The memories kept rolling through his mind and he’d barely slept since coming home. What little sleep he’d had had been filled with dreams of what would’ve happened had she not put the brakes on.
He’d woken restless, achy, needy, and cursing himself for letting things get out of hand.
Then he’d cursed himself for how far he’d let his feelings go. On one hand, he knew he couldn’t grieve forever, but on the other, he felt like he was cheating on his wife.
And he honestly wasn’t sure if he wouldn’t have put the brakes on himself. Clearly he and Lucy weren’t in a place to try to physically console each other—another reason he should seriously keep his distance. Which was easier said than done, he admitted.
“Is she okay?” Noah asked.
“Still sore and her hip is bothering her,” Cameron told him. “Lucy is a hell of a worker and I’m going to hate losing her when she finishes her degree. But there are times I wish she had someone to check up on her.”
“Are you meddling, sir?”
Again, Cameron’s laugh filled the line. “Not at all. Just stating my opinion. Have a good day off, Spencer.”
Noah disconnected the call and laid his cell on the table by the sofa. Like hell his boss wasn’t meddling. But Noah knew he meant well. Happily married people always wanted to see single people happily married, too.
“Daddy, when will we have real horses again?” Emma asked, never taking her eyes off her toys. “I miss riding.”
“Me, too, baby girl.”
He may have been a police officer since he graduated college and the academy at the age of twenty-three, but ranching had always been his life. Their Texas ranch had been Noah’s grandfather’s, then his father had expanded it with more livestock and an extra barn, and once Noah had taken over, he’d grown the livestock even more.
Now he was starting from scratch. He couldn’t help but wonder if this was how his grandfather had felt when he’d wanted to have his own spread and had gotten started.
This house they were renting was definitely going to be temporary because Noah needed space. He needed land.
The land Lucy had was exactly the type of space he was looking for. Something not too large so he could get started little by little.
As Noah stared down at Emma, he vowed their first purchase after the new house would be a horse. But that would take time and more funds than he had right now. He was keeping his eyes open for land to build or a house with acreage, but he wasn’t going to rush. As much as he wanted all those things again, he knew it would take patience.
One day at a time. That had been his life motto since losing his world.
“I just want to ride,” Emma stated again. “What if I forget how to do it?”
Noah sank into the floor beside her, smoothing a wayward strand of hair back from her face. “You won’t forget. When you love something that much, it will live inside you forever.”
Emma immediately looked to him. “Like Mommy? Because I never want to forget her.”
Noah’s heart clenched. The honest words of a child could absolutely gut you. Emma was so sincere as she stared with those bright blue eyes. Had she truly worried she’d forget her mother? Noah tried to keep pictures of her all around the house and especially one in Emma’s bedroom. He wanted his late wife’s memory to live on because Emma was so young, there was a good chance she’d forget the sound of her mother’s voice or the way she’d laughed.
Swallowing the lump of grief, Noah pulled Emma onto his lap. “Mommy will always live in your heart, just like our ranch will. Those are things we love and just because we don’t have them anymore doesn’t mean we’ll forget them. Moving away was just for us to start our new life. We’ll have another ranch.”
“And another mommy?”
Noah stilled. He’d never even thought about how Emma might think another woman would just step into their lives. At four years old, who knew how she truly viewed death? But he’d tried to explain it to her as best as he could.
Emma shifted in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. “When can we go riding? Lucy said we could stop by anytime.”
Noah pulled in a breath, ready to make an excuse for the “anytime” comment. But then something hit him. Lucy had called off work for the night, so she’d be awake. He wasn’t sure if she was home, but if they casually dropped in, surely she wouldn’t turn them away.
Yes, things had gotten out of hand earlier and she’d gotten spooked, but they couldn’t hide from each other. He wasn’t the type of guy to hide from confrontation, anyway. He believed in facing things head-on and trying to keep awkwardness at bay.
“Why don’t you go put on your boots and we’ll see if Lucy’s home,” he suggested. This whole plan could backfire, but he didn’t think it would.
“What if she’s not?” Emma asked as she scrambled off his lap.
“Then we’ll go for ice cream. We need to get out of the house and have some fun.”
Emma squealed and clapped her hands as she raced off to her bedroom.
Noah picked up her toys, setting them in the oversize basket next to the sofa. It was a beautiful afternoon and there was no reason he couldn’t drop in on a friend.
Okay, that sounded like such a lame justification, even to his ears. He wanted to see Lucy again, plus he wanted Emma to be able to ride. Killing two birds with the same stone didn’t always work, but he had a good feeling about this. Lucy wouldn’t turn him away. And if she tried...well, he’d make sure she knew he was onto her. There was a deeper level of pain she didn’t know she had. He’d seen the dawning come across her face earlier. When she’d pulled back, she’d appeared shocked, as if she didn’t know why she had.
Things had gotten so intense, Noah knew it was time to dial it back a notch. But he couldn’t walk away from her totally. No, keeping things light for a while may be exactly what they both needed.
But there was no doubt that they’d revisit what just happened. If nothing else, they needed to discuss what they were feeling, but Noah sure as hell wasn’t ready for that conversation. And he definitely wasn’t ready to act on that fantasy he had of Lucy.
One day at a time, right? Wasn’t that his motto lately? He needed to remember that because he couldn’t handle any more right now.
* * *
Lucy hadn’t gone to Tammy’s home to check on her, but she did call. Tammy had already heard about Lucy’s accident, so they discussed that instead of the passing of her dog.
After their call, since Lucy was technically homebound, she opted to bake. She’d wanted to try out a new recipe anyway, so now was the perfect opportunity.
With the volume cranked up on the oldies she loved to listen to, Lucy tapped her foot as she worked the dough for the cranberry lemon bread. Anything fruity was her go-to. Most women loved chocolate, but Lucy would take
a good lemon bar or pineapple upside-down cake over a brownie any day.
Oh, lemon bars sounded good. They were easy enough, so maybe she’d make those for Monday’s meeting. She already had most of the ingredients out for the lemon cranberry bread anyway.
Singing along to the tunes, Lucy barely heard her doorbell ring. Kate and Tara had offered to take her anywhere and had even said they’d run over to keep her company, but Lucy had told them she’d be fine and her insurance was already getting her a rental car until she figured out what to do in regards to getting a new one.
She didn’t dare mention to them about Noah being here earlier. She was still trying to grasp the fact he’d been willing to sleep with her and she’d all but freaked out. What was wrong with her? She hadn’t been this attracted to another man since her husband.
But she hadn’t been with another man, either.
After she’d flipped and put a halt to the intimacy, Noah had agreed it was a mistake. But part of her wondered if he wouldn’t have stopped himself. Would he have pushed her away? Would he have let that guilt creep in and put doubts in his mind?
Lucy couldn’t pinpoint exactly which emotion had caused her to stop. Being kissed by Noah was as glorious as she’d imagined it would be. Her entire body had craved more of his touch. But everything about the experience, as thrilling as it had been, seemed so unfamiliar to her. It had been too long since she’d been touched by a man and she’d been...well, terrified. Not of Noah, but of getting close to another man again.
Lucy wiped her hands on her yellow-and-white-striped apron and padded barefoot through the house. Well, more like she limped. Her hip was bothering her more than she’d initially thought it would and the swollen, bruised area kept rubbing against her clothes. But she was lucky. In her years as a dispatcher, she’d heard of too many hit-and-runs that had ended in tragedy.
When Lucy glanced out the front window, she recognized that black truck in her drive. She hadn’t emotionally recovered from when Noah was here early this morning, but she wasn’t going to ignore him. And she couldn’t deny the way her heart kicked up.
As much as she’d thought she was ready to move on, clearly that had not been the case. Unfortunately, she hadn’t known how she’d react until she’d gotten into the moment. Now she knew and she was mortified.
Pulling in a deep breath, Lucy flicked the lock and opened the door. Noah held Emma in his arms as he met her gaze.
“We were hoping you’d be home,” he said, offering a smile. “We thought we’d take you up on your offer and check out your horses.”
Her horses? He’d popped in with such a simple request as if he hadn’t had his hands all over her only hours ago. As if she hadn’t basically shoved him out the door when her mind had overridden her feelings. He’d brought his daughter here to see the horses. Well, okay then.
“Sure. Come on in.”
Lucy stepped back and let them inside. She didn’t know what she expected when she saw him again, but she’d assumed it would be at work where there would be plenty of people to buffer the awkward tension between them.
As Noah passed by, Lucy inhaled that familiar deep woodsy cologne he always had on. Why did everything about this man appeal to her? Before this morning she’d relished the fact she was feeling so alive and getting to the point where she wanted to open up to those feelings of desire again.
Of course that plan had backfired because she’d rushed things, and now she probably came across as a total moron. After all, Noah was only here for Emma and the horses. There were several ranches and horse owners in Stonerock, but Noah didn’t know too many people yet. Or perhaps this was his way of clearing the air and getting them back on even footing.
“Something smells good.”
Lucy closed the door. “I was just mixing up some bread dough.”
As she started to pass by, Noah sat Emma down and grabbed Lucy’s arm. “You’re limping.”
That touch was so simple, yet she knew exactly how potent it was when he wanted it to be. Noah Spencer did things to her, things she hadn’t experienced in years, and things she was still trying to process.
“Just sore. That’s all.” She wasn’t about to get into all of this again, so she turned her attention to Emma who reached up to hold on to her daddy’s hand. “How about you help me put the bread in the oven and then we can go check on Gunner and Hawkeye. They would love to see you.”
Lucy headed down the hall to the kitchen and pulled over a chair. “Hop up here so you can see better,” she told Emma. “This will go so much faster with a helper.”
From the corner of her eye, Lucy noticed Noah hanging back. If he could do something else besides stare, that would be great.
Was he regretting this morning? Was he having second thoughts about kissing her and pushing toward something else? He’d been so adamant about not opening up and when he had, she’d shut him down.
She’d better be more careful about what she asked him for. Noah Spencer was one powerful man, and when he let his guard down, he was one dangerous man. Lucy could easily see herself falling for him and that was a whole other level of intimacy she truly didn’t know if she was ready for.
“Can we make cookies?” Emma asked, cutting into Lucy’s very adult thoughts.
Lucy laughed and reached for the greased bread pan. “Let’s get this bread in the oven first and check on the horses.”
“Emma,” Noah chimed in, “we didn’t stop by to bake.”
Throwing a glance over her shoulder, Lucy met his dark gaze. “Just for the horses, right?”
Noah raised a brow as his mouth kicked up in a grin. “Right.”
Every part of her tingled, from her messy hair to her pink polished toes. Perhaps it was best if they went outside. The bread could be covered and put in the oven later.
“Tell you what,” she said to Emma. “Let’s lay a towel over this bowl and let the bread rise awhile. That way we can enjoy the horses while it’s still daylight. Once the sun goes down, we’ll come back in and bake.”
“Cookies, too?” Emma asked.
“Emma,” Noah growled.
Lucy tapped the girl on the tip of her nose. “Cookies, too. Now let’s go check out the horses. They are going to need some straw and water.”
After helping Emma off the chair, Noah held the back door open and the child bounced down the steps, her curly pigtails bobbing against the sides of her head.
Lucy followed, stepping out onto the porch with Noah.
“I’ll help you down the steps,” he said, gripping her elbow.
Lucy didn’t shrug him off, mainly because she wanted to get used to his touch. “I can hold on to the banister.”
“And I can hold on to you,” he claimed.
There was no need to argue. “So you’re here just for the horses...or did you have a more obvious reason?”
He assisted her down the stairs, keeping that firm hold on her arm and lining his body up with hers. “I wasn’t going to let this tension come between us. And I wanted to see you again. As simple and as complicated as that.”
Lucy turned her gaze to his. “Is this you admitting you’re interested?”
Once again his dark eyes held hers. “I think you know how much I’m interested. It was you who pushed me away this morning.”
“I wasn’t sure how you’d feel after I...”
Recalling the events in her mind was humiliating enough. She truly didn’t want to say the words aloud.
“You think because you weren’t ready that I’m suddenly not interested? I have no clue what the hell is going on here, Lucy, but I know there’s an attraction I can’t ignore. I can’t guarantee I’m ready for more, but...”
Noah turned, one hand on each side of the bannister, blocking her from going down the steps. His eyes bore into hers.
&n
bsp; “It took a hell of a lot of nerve for me to admit I wanted you,” he finally said. “I figured if I came back with Emma, we could just start over with friendship.”
Lucy nodded and realized she was still wearing her apron. She untied it and pulled it over her head, tossing it over to the porch swing.
“Friendship is a good start,” she admitted, meeting his eyes once again. “You know, nothing about this is how I thought it would go when I saw you the first time.”
“You thought I’d just come into your meetings and you’d fix me?” he asked.
“I thought you’d at least talk to me that first night instead of running away.” Lucy opted to go for the full truth. “And I never thought I’d get closer to you and then not be able to—Never mind. The point is I was attracted to you from the second I saw you, but then you ran away.”
Noah quirked that dark brow again. “Maybe I ran because you stood in the rain wearing a shirt that was plastered to your curves and I was getting away from temptation.”
Stunned, Lucy didn’t know what to say. She didn’t get the chance to say anything, because Noah suddenly turned to his daughter. He walked up beside Emma where she stood at the fence, and pointed at the horses out into the field as he leaned in and told her something that made her laugh. Lucy had no clue what he was saying; she was still stuck on the declaration he’d just delivered to her.
From the beginning he’d been attracted to her and had been fighting it. Now their roles were reversed and she was wondering how they’d come this far, this fast. Maybe because she hadn’t had someone in so long, hadn’t experienced such emotions in years, she’d gotten wrapped up without thinking things through.
Watching Noah and Emma standing at the edge of the fence, Lucy swallowed that lump in her throat. When she and Evan had bought this house, this land, they’d agreed to fill it with children. That dream had died with him, or so she’d thought. Lucy wasn’t jumping to the point of thinking she and Noah were going to grow old together, but seeing him and Emma here did give her hope. She could have the dream she’d once held on to. All she had to do was let go of that fear of getting too close and suffering such heartache again.
The Cowboy's Second-Chance Family Page 7