“ Just one thing before we get there. Don’t try talking to your friends in the pay box.”
Had he known all the time what she was planning? Could he read her mind? The mirror flashed a warning. The gleam looked as though it was touching Peter’s unprotected eye.
If the van jerked, if a car in front halted suddenly, if her hands (which felt cramped by panic) twitched on the wheel – Cars nosed between the booths and sped away. Paid, the red signs sprang to green. She mustn’t do anything here. Later she could take him off guard, jam on the brakes, attack him with something: not now, not when the razor was so ready.
A green light passed the car ahead. She inched the van into the space and rolled the window down. It would be all right, the man in the booth couldn’t see behind her. She had the correct money, she wouldn’t need to wait for change, the madman wouldn’t have time to wonder if she was planning to trick him. She tried to stop her hand from trembling as it lifted the coins towards the booth. Her tightness seized her fingers with cramp, which jerked the coins from them. She heard the money fall on the road beside the van.
Oh dear God, please no! She didn’t dare glance at the mirror. She wasn’t trying to trick him, she wouldn’t leave the van, she must slide the door open just a crack and reach down -
“ It’s all right, love,” a man called. “I’ll get it for you.”
He had been chatting to the man in the next booth. As he strode over, she glimpsed a sharp flash in the mirror. Should she grab the money before the man reached it? But he was bending beside the van; coins clicked, or something did. When he straightened up, she saw he was a policeman.
She was paralysed. Not until his uniformed arm, beaded with raindrops, reached into the van could she stretch out her hand for the coins. How ought she to sound so as not to arouse suspicion? Grateful, casual, cool? “Thank you very much,” she said and sounded like an extra who was unable to make her single line convincing.
He was staring past her. “What’s the matter with your friend?”
Her tongue felt poisoned, swollen. Her mouth felt like a rag doll’s, sewn. Mustn’t she tell him? This might be her only chance of rescue. The taste of petrol churned in her. If she opened her mouth she might be sick.
She was struggling to force words past her panic when behind her the man said “Too much to drink. He was in a bit of bother. We’re taking him home.”
Surely the policeman wouldn’t believe that. She glanced at the mirror, and saw what he saw: two dim figures sitting in the back, one slumped against the other. Peter’s injuries were mitigated by the darkness; the razor hid behind his hair.
After a while the policeman said “Yes, he looks as if he’s had enough. You’d better take care of him.”
He stared at Cathy, then reached for her hand. Was he about to give it a secret clasp, to tell her he’d seen what was wrong? No, he’d scrutinised her only to judge whether she was sober, and now he was taking the toll from her hand to pass to the booth. The green light sprang up ringing.
“ Good night,” the policeman said and turned away. Cathy’s hands clenched on the wheel. Was she about to cry for help? Perhaps, but she subsided miserably. From beside Peter’s face the gleam had crept out, ready.
***
Chapter XXXIV
She drove towards Chester. Her mind felt empty as a balloon. Though the rain had slackened, few people were about in Birkenhead. Roads and pavements reflected desertion and bright windows. Other places passed beside the main road: Port Sunlight, Bromborough, Ellesmere Port. None was as present as the watchful face in the mirror. Beside the swaying razor, Peter’s eyelids twitched.
So he was alive. Or had only shadows moved? Before she could read his face, which looked like a mask in the sodium glow, the streetlamps swept behind. Night seized him. From the darkness the man’s voice murmured “Just you keep still if you know what’s good for you.”
Peter was moving, then. She was distressed by how little that heartened her: if anything, it made her more tense. Peter might begin to struggle, inadvertently or otherwise. Oncoming headlights displayed the faces in the mirror. Peter’s face was still, perhaps unconscious. The man’s eyes flickered warily.
Afterimages of headlights clung to her eyes. She felt insomniac, light-headed. Was her mind trying to comfort her with the cliche that it was all a dream? She knew that it was nothing of the sort, though her emotions had fallen into a doze. She couldn’t plan any escape, for she didn’t know how Peter might react and couldn’t communicate with him. Lights drew the tableau of faces into the mirror and let them collapse into darkness.
Abruptly the man spoke. Were the lights bothering him? He sounded dangerously irritable. “Don’t take all night. We’ve a long way to go.”
Petrol stations passed, bright as day. Occasional houses blinked between trees. Her patch of light unrolled the road. Everything outside the van seemed unreal, unattainable as a film on a screen. The van enclosed her with the nightmare, from which everything else was separate.
She bypassed Chester, and headed for North Wales. “That’s right,” the man said approvingly. Was he becoming amiable? Might he let them go? But he said “Trying to tell me you didn’t know where we were going. You won’t see me falling for that, oh no.”
She must halt at the next petrol station. She must try to escape instead of avoiding thoughts of how the drive might end. The next petrol station was dark. Her light gleamed in the extinguished faces of the pumps.
When she hesitated at a signpost he said impatiently “Go on, don’t be pretending you don’t know the way.” In the mirror his hand pointed irritably, and she turned the van in that direction. They were heading for Corwen in North Wales, it seemed.
Now there were few headlights other than hers. The blur of her light fled incessantly over the monotonous road. Hedges paled and vanished, grass blades sprouted light. Around her the huge night was empty.
How could he tell in the darkness that she was driving where he wanted to go? She dared not speak, in case he began to tell her of his plans. Apart from the creaks and jangling of the van, silence lurked behind her. Once she turned and stared into the dark, afraid of what might be happening there. His voice exulted: “No, I’m not asleep. You needn’t think I am.”
The patch of light went on, and on. The night was featureless. His voice clung to her ears. She stared dully at a glow ahead, above the hill that she was climbing. A wind blundered against the van, unnerving her.
The glow resembled the ghost of a dawn. Was it a fire? No, it was steady. As the van clambered uphill, she felt hope struggling to rise. Oh, please say that the light was – please let it be – The van plunged down the slope. The light blazed from a petrol station.
The forecourt looked deserted. Only when she was almost there did she see that one upright shape was a man, for his sleeves flapped in the wind. He stood beside a pump, which he was repairing. The petrol station wasn’t open, after all. That didn’t matter! He was someone, he was help! “I’ve got to get some petrol,” she said.
The click came at once; the razor brandished light. “Oh no you haven’t. Do you think I can’t see all these cans? You’ve got plenty here.”
“ They’re empty,” she pleaded, almost weeping.
“ They better hadn’t be, for your sake and his.”
But they were. As the van slowed, the man beside the pump waved her away. “Closed,” his lips pronounced soundlessly. Couldn’t she drive at him, infuriate him, make him board the van, enraged? The blade was still now, and looked to be touching its victim.
She drove miserably. It was impossible to tell whether she had enough petrol, since she had no idea where they were bound. Perhaps he would only strand them when the petrol ran out, so that they couldn’t call the police.
The smells of the van grew stronger, more sickening. The metallic clamour tormented her nerves. Was any of those sounds the click of the blade? Her patch of light seemed hindered by the night, and hardly moving.
T
he sky glowed ahead. It couldn’t be dawn yet, though she felt she’d been driving for ever. Whatever the glow was, it couldn’t help her. If only she had grabbed the policeman!
The glow hovered over Corwen. She drove across a bridge. Beneath it, unseen, the River Dee rushed darkly. Slate houses surrounded her with the colour of fog. Inns passed, striped like zebras. A clock showed that it was nearly midnight. The long street was deserted. If just one person appeared – What? What could she do?
“ My father brought me here once, in a proper van.” The man’s conversational tone was more than grotesque; it was frightening, for he sounded sure of himself, of his plan. “You thought I’d forget the way, did you? Oh no. My mind isn’t so easily snapped.”
The van echoed beneath a railway bridge. The long street led her through a market square. From the street, alleys of slate houses climbed a looming mountain. It was a small unspoilt town – the kind of place she would have liked to visit with Peter. At the back of her mind was a notion, heavy and immovable as a rock, that she would never see this place again.
She was still praying for someone to appear when Corwen and its light retreated and faded. The night led her into itself. Mouths of side roads glimmered briefly; beyond them all was darkness. She was hardly aware now of driving.
“ Oh no,” the man was muttering. “You all think you’re so clever. You didn’t think I had this place to come to, did you? You aren’t so infallible as you’d like to think.”
Something was wrong. He sounded nervous and threatening. Wind tugged at the van, almost snatching the wheel from her slippery hands. Abruptly he demanded “Where do you think you’re going?”
Panic rose in her throat, harsh and thick. He had lost his way in the dark. She swallowed, choking. At last she managed to calm her voice enough to say “Where you want to go.”
“ Oh, this is where I want to go, is it?” Sibilants hissed viciously.
“ Don’t try that on with me, you bitch. Just don’t try.”
The van edged forward; she seemed hardly in control of her limbs. Her voice shook. “Well, you tell me where you want to go.”
“ Don’t try that, either. You won’t confuse me, don’t bother trying. Shall I make him scream? Will that help your driving?”
The van advanced, inexorable as her nightmare. What could she say that he wouldn’t distort, that wouldn’t madden him further? All at once he shouted “Stop here.”
He was going to finish them. The night was on his side; there was nothing but dark for miles. “Stop here,” he snarled again before, dully, she could do so.
The headlights made a milestone blaze. She felt him leaning forward. The razor was approaching. Sickened, she lowered her head to hide her throat beneath her chin. But he was staring beyond her. “There it is,” he said.
He was gloating again. What hallucination was he seeing, out there in the dark? “You thought you’d pass it when I wasn’t looking,” he muttered. “Very clever of you. But you didn’t succeed, did you? Left past the milestone. That’s where we’re going.”
At last she had to move the van. Reluctance weighted her limbs. If he had mistaken the landmark, what would he do then? If not, they were approaching the end of the journey. What had he in store?
To the left of the milestone was a road of sorts. It wound uphill. The van lurched and swayed, almost beyond her control. Where was the razor? She fought the wheel as the van plunged splashing into a flooded dip.
The road writhed unpredictably. Her surroundings were included in her nightmare now, a maze of stone and blinding darkness. Infrequent slate walls blazed spikily. Trees glinted with raindrops, as though the branches were crowded with watching birds. For a moment she saw their bodies, black and still.
She felt as though she were struggling with fever. She was suffocated by the churning of the van, its monotonous frustrated roaring, the vindictive antics of the road, the stench of petrol, the ominous silence behind her. How long was it before a grey shape loomed ahead – a slate box, a building, a cottage? “Here we are,” the man said.
Exhausted and almost resigned, her shoulders began to slump. Could this really be the destination he’d taken so much trouble to reach? Was he unable to see that the windows were empty, the door askew? Shadows peered out at the van. The cottage could not have seen a light at night for years.
She heard his indrawn breath. Oh God, he’d seen! Would he turn on her now, or force her to drive until the petrol gave out? But he sounded as though he’d had a sudden inspiration. “Just keep going until you’re told otherwise.”
The van ground uphill. The road climbed tortuously. The wheels slipped on fragments of slate, screaming. Objects plodded out of the night – a dead tree split down its middle; a small cairn, half collapsed. Now there was a notice-board, lying on its face beside the track. What did it say? Her light had scarcely touched it when he said “That’s right. Stop here. We’re going to stretch our legs.”
She tried to grasp her frantic thoughts. Once they were out of the van, could she knock him down and drive away with Peter? His limp would help her outrun him – but she must be able to make a quick getaway. “Shall I turn the van?” she said, praying that it didn’t sound like a plea.
“ Oh yes, you do that.” He sounded indifferent or secretly amused.
She had turned it only halfway – it was facing across the track, illuminating a waste of surfaces of slate – when he said “All right, stop now. Leave the key in the lock or whatever you call it. Now get out.”
She would be leaving Peter alone in the van with him. The jagged slate was harsh underfoot. The headlamps spotlighted the bare grey stage. She stood gripping the door, unable to move away. “Go on, Catherine Angela Gardner,” the man said.
How could he know her name? His voice sounded like the sentence of a judge in a nightmare. The blade stirred restlessly. Bewildered, unable to hold onto her thoughts, she backed away slowly.
“ Keep going. Get away from the van. Right away. Now stay, you bitch.”
She could see nothing within the van. The headlamps blazed at her; above them the windscreen was opaque as thick ice. The silence isolated sounds of muted scuffling. Please let him decide that he wouldn’t drag Peter, please let him come out alone. She would win somehow. Every loose chunk of rock was a potential ally.
When he emerged at last, Peter was with him. They staggered out like a seaside postcard’s parody of drunkenness. The lump on Peter’s forehead was larger, and shone purple. The line of dried blood still marked his face, like ink from an untidy child’s pen. He looked drowsy, hardly aware of his situation, perhaps concussed – and absolutely helpless. A yearning to protect him, a refusal to believe that he was going to die, seized her. She felt nauseous and dizzy.
The man propped him against the radiator grille, where he slumped a little. “Go on,” the man said to Cathy. “Walk until you’re told to stop.”
Desperation or her distance from him gave her the courage to say “No, I won’t. I’m not leaving him with you.”
“ Oh yes you are.” The razor flicked up. “Or I’ll take his face off.”
His threats were growing wilder. Mightn’t they be mere words? But the blade flashed; blood started from beside Peter’s eye. She felt like screaming or sobbing, or both: anything to express her powerlessness. Her feet did that for her as she trudged stumbling backwards, away from the light.
“ That’s right. Keep going. No need to look. I’ll tell you when you’ve gone far enough.”
She glanced behind her. At the dim edge of the light, the ground dipped. Was that her chance? Once she reached the dip, perhaps she could stay below the light and circle round behind him – if the cold didn’t make her too clumsy: her limbs felt embedded in ice. If she could take him off guard, she would do whatever was necessary to rescue Peter.
She was almost there. Oh, please let the slope beyond the light be steep enough! Please let her be able to dodge behind him quickly, without making a noise! There mustn’t be any
loose stone to trip her. She must be careful yet swift.
She glanced back towards the lights, to pretend she had no plan. Peter was sagging against the radiator. The man was gazing intently at her; perhaps he would gaze for a while, to make sure she didn’t disappear. Please make him gaze. She backed to the blurred edge of the light, and stepped off.
She felt her foot plunge into nothingness.
It threw her off balance, and she fell. Her other knee crashed down on the slate. The explosion of pain dulled her thoughts. For a moment she believed there was only a slight drop beneath her, exaggerated by the return of her old phobia. It was only a dip in the ground, just a short slope – Then she heard how long it took a dislodged piece of slate to fall.
Her knee slid down the slope, scraping over rock. Both her legs dangled into the quarry. Her frozen hands scrabbled at the edge, and managed to drag her to a kneeling position. She struggled panting to her feet. The night and the headlamps shook with her pulse. She had scarcely risen when the wind seized her and flung her back.
This time her legs cleared the edge completely. There was no chance of dragging herself to her knees. There was no hold for her clutching fingers. Her nails were no match for the edges of slate, which broke them. She was sliding into the bottomless dark. She knew it had an end, which would be jagged.
Ahead of her, distant as infinity, the figures stood between the lamps. She heard the man say “ah” in appreciation of her fall. He stepped forward. Behind him Peter, no longer supported, slumped towards the ground.
The man was coming to help her fall. He was impatient to be finished. She dragged at the stone with her hands, using her palms now instead of her useless nails. Her feet, whose weight tugged her down, struggled to fasten on something, anything, to help her clamber. Below her the unseen slate was unhelpful as ice. She stared numbly at the stone on which her hands were pressing. They were paralysed there; if anything, her slippery palms were inching towards the edge.
The Face That Must Die Page 21