“The tape part,” she said as if that explained everything. She then obviously saw that it did not. “If you take a piece of paper and wrap tape around it, it becomes outside of space-time.”
“It does?” asked Ridly.
“In the test, yes,” said DeKella. “Not in real life. That would be absurd.”
“Everything about this conversation has been absurd,” Vool said. “Not to mention boring.”
“Okay, Dr. Piffer,” Harr said warningly. “Sorry, Dr. DeKella. Please go on.”
“Well, by using the McCarthy Snip-n-Tape Equation, I was able to look beyond the page-folding since everyone knows that instantaneous travel is impossible.”
“Actually…” Jezden began.
“Let her finish, Dr. Impotent,” Harr said with a sharp glance.
“Oh yeah,” Jezden said, clearly catching himself. “My bad.”
“Anyway,” she continued, “instantaneous travel is about as likely as making things like, say, cloaking or time-travel work, so I decided to try something different. If I put an element inside of the metaphorical ‘tape,’ I can have it zip through space without so much as a how-do-ya-do!”
“Huh,” Harr said, shocked that he, a common soldier, knew more about the basics of physics than a high-ranking doctor on the lonely world of Kallian. “That’s truly…fascinating.”
“It is, isn’t it?” she said, this time dragging Harr by the elbow. “Anyway, I could go on for hours, but we have work to do. Now, over here is the cafeteria, in case you have any late-night cravings. They have great sandwiches, but watch out for the soup. It’s been known to make some men impotent.” She turned toward Jezden in a flash. “I’m terribly sorry, doctor, but it’s the truth. I’m not trying to be insensitive to your problem.”
“What problem?” Jezden said hotly. “Just because my name is ‘Impotent,’ doesn’t mean my junk is.” He waved his hands around his groin and added, “Everything down here is working just fine, thank you very much.”
“I…uh…”
“Forget about it, Dr. DeKella,” Harr said. “He’s just a bit sensitive. You know how small-tails are.”
“Ha, ha, ha,” Jezden said, sneering. “Live it up, Captain. You finally have something on you bigger than…”
“Dr. DeKella,” Ridly said, interrupting Jezden’s tirade, “are we close to the main lab? I’d like to get a first-hand look at the machinery. We don’t have much time left, you know.”
“Yes, of course,” DeKella said after a moment. “It’s on minus-three. We keep it underground in the event that something goes wrong.” She turned white. “Not that we expect anything to go wrong, of course. It’s just that we wanted to take every precaution. I don’t want you to think that we expect anything bad to happen. We don’t. We’re very confident…”
“I understand,” Ridly said reassuringly. “These types of tests can greatly impact society. We hope for a positive outcome, but we prepare for the negative. As Dr. Welder said before, we’re here to help minimize the negative. Having the test happen underground is a wise decision, and that is a point in your favor.”
“Thank you,” DeKella said sincerely. “And we’re truly glad you’re all here to help. For once, I actually think I mean that.”
The lift was very odd-looking indeed. It was in the shape of a decagon, with black padded rectangles mounted to each of the ten slats. There were metallic claws folded open beside the pads. Harr assumed that they were used to restrain passengers.
“Are any of you susceptible to motion sickness?”
Ridly and Jezden pointed at Harr. They were obviously referring to the bouncing around of the Reluctant during their space battle a couple of days prior. He rolled his eyes.
“That was just an isolated event. I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?” DeKella said. “The lift is very fast and moves both horizontally and vertically. It can be rather jarring.”
“I’m certain,” Harr said, “but thank you for your concern.”
“All right, you’ll want to press your backs against one of the pads, get comfortable and then press the button that you’ll feel near your right hand.”
Harr did as he was told. The claws slowly closed in on him until they were pressing him firmly into the pad. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but he did feel a hint of claustrophobia. It would be over soon enough, he told himself. Obviously these people did this all the time, so there was nothing to worry about.
“Now, once we start moving, the claws will tighten and loosen a bit. This is to compensate for the motion. Don’t worry, though. A group of inspectors such as yourselves spent three days evaluating this system. There was only one death and that was because one of the testers wanted to see how the lift managed without the restraints. Due to the results of that particular test, there is now a failsafe that won’t allow the lift to move unless everyone is properly strapped in.” Once they were secured, Dr. DeKella said, “Lift, take us to minus-3, please.”
“Acknowledged,” replied a voice that made Geezer sound updated. “Transfer commencing in three…two…one…”
The jolt was so strong that Harr felt like his knees were going to pop out of his skull. The instant that he started to acclimate to the drop, the lift bolted left, making his innards slide to the right. Then it dropped again, stopped, rotated, lifted, cut right, and dropped again.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, it came to a halt and Harr threw up all over the place.
“Told ya,” Jezden said.
THE KALLIAN COMMANDER
General Struggins stood behind a one-way glass pane that overlooked the warp-lab floor. From his perch, he could see all of the goings on, but nobody could see him. Scientists were a predictable bunch. They spent most of their days actually working on things that they were supposed to be working on. In the 17 months that he’d been stationed here, not a single thing had been deemed suspicious.
And then the inspectors had arrived. He’d known that they were coming, of course. It was the way of things. But it irked him to no end that he didn’t have a clue regarding their identities. Who in their right mind thought that it made sense to hide information regarding someone with the power to stop an entire operation such as this in its tracks?
There were four of them. Two male, two female. Well, one of the males had such a short tail that his gender was questionable. Were it not for the obvious muscle tone and strong jawbone, he would have had to wonder.
“Deddles,” he called out to the private who had entered the room, “what do you know about these inspectors?”
Deddles rushed across the room and saluted. “Only that they are inspectors, sir.”
“I know that much, Deddles. Everyone knows that much.”
“Yes, sir,” Deddles replied in his squeaky voice. “We never get details regarding inspectors, sir. That would be against regulations. They are very concerned over being compromised through bribery or something.”
“I know how the process works, Private,” Struggins said tersely. “My point is that we’re in the military. We have access to things that others do not.” He glanced questioningly at Deddles. “You get where I’m going with this?”
“I think so, sir,” Deddles answered, “but just to be sure…are you asking me to look into their records, sir?”
Struggins leaned backward, putting on his best affronted look. “Heavens no, Deddles. I’m not asking you anything of the sort.” He scoffed a couple of times before looking back down on the figures in the lab. “I’m merely suggesting that an enterprising young private who has an interest in moving up the military chain of command might find his way more clear were he to be forward-thinking.”
The military had changed greatly since Struggins was a private. There was a time where soldiers did what they had to do, regardless of the consequences. It was how you got noticed. You’d end up with a slap across the wrist now and again, but it was always under the guise of a proud superior officer who knew that you were ju
st playing the game. Today’s entry class was all about doing the right thing, the ethical thing. To Struggins’ way of thinking, the only right and ethical decisions a soldier had to worry about were the ones that furthered the power of the Kallian forces.
“So,” Deddles said, looking unsure, “should I look into their records, sir?”
“Private Deddles,” Struggins said with a sigh, “I have made no such request of you, nor have I commanded you thusly. Are we clear about that?”
“I think so, sir.”
“You think so?”
“Well, it’s just…”
“I’ll help you be completely certain, Private,” Struggins said, raising his voice from its standard grumble to that of a subdued drill sergeant. “I am formally stating that I am in no way, shape, or form giving you any direction whatsoever that would lead you to conclude that you should look up the records for any of these inspectors. Do you understand me, Private?”
“Yes, sir!”
“Good,” Struggins said, relaxing. He let the heat settle for a moment, looking around to make sure that everyone else in the room was busily working on their assigned tasks. Then he lowered his voice and said, “Are you planning to be a private all of your life, son?”
“No, sir.”
“Can you imagine yourself holding the rank of someone as lofty as myself?”
“It would be a dream come true, sir.”
“Do you know how I got to this position, Deddles?”
“Looking at inspectors’ records, sir?”
“Precisely,” Struggins said and then turned sharply toward the private. “Wait, no, not that.”
“Oh,” Deddles said. “Um, hard work and determination then, sir?”
“I got here, Private, by taking risks.” He gripped his hands behind his back, pushing his chest out so that his medals were more impressive. “I bent the rules when they needed bending, and I took initiative to do the things that needed to be done so that our wonderful military establishment moved in the most fitting direction for the survival of our people and our planet.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I did not get here by simply waiting around to be told what to do.”
“No, sir.”
“Are you understanding my meaning here, Private?”
“I need to take risks, sir,” Deddles said, standing at attention and speaking firmly, but keeping his voice low enough to match how Struggins had been talking. “I need to bend the rules where they need bending, and I need to do the things that need doing in order to help our military establishment move in the direction most fitting for its goals, sir.”
“Well done, Deddles,” Struggins said, surprised at the boy’s grasp of the situation. “Now, I plan to ask you again at some point today what we know about our inspectors down there. When I ask you this question again, Private Deddles, do you suppose you will have a more informative response for me?”
Private Deddles looked like a man who had seen breasts for the first time. “Yes, sir. I will, sir.”
“There’s a good soldier.”
THE LAB
They had spent the better part of an hour going through the various pieces of technology that filled the lab.
Ridly was the only one who seemed to really understand what was going on, but Harr did his best to nod as knowingly as possible whenever the opportunity came up. Vool was continuously scanning the area. She clearly had something nefarious up her sleeve. Jezden was more useless than usual. There wasn’t a female scientist within the vastness of the lab who hadn’t snickered at the length of the android’s tail. There also wasn’t one that hadn’t given Harr an appraising glance regarding the length of his.
“…and this,” DeKella said as she pointed toward an enormous ball-shaped hunk of metal, “is the Multicombo Chamber. This is where all the magic happens.”
“Can you explain?” Harr asked.
“Of course, Dr. Welder. If you follow the direction of this pipe, you’ll see that it connects to the room up those stairs. Inside that room there is another orb that’s about one-quarter the size of this one. It’s where we house the Stewnathium Particles that will be poured into this chamber during the test.” She took a quick sip of water. “Once the particles fill the Multicombo Chamber, along with a mixture of other particles, they will merge in a dance of electrical mayhem. As soon as their combination is complete, which will take a fraction of a second from our perspective, a dense magnetic field will begin to form.”
Harr couldn’t help but notice how excited Dr. DeKella was about this topic. It was clear that her entire life had been building to this point. He felt terrible that it would all come crashing down around her shoulders, but it was either that or the extinction of the Kallian species…not to mention himself and the crew of the SSMC Reluctant.
“Now,” she continued, “when that magnetic field kicks in, we take it and focus it around an object. The power of the field will begin to warp the space around said item—my metaphorical piece of tape. That’s what we call a ‘warp bubble,’ and it’s the thing that will allow the object to move freely in a perceived velocity that exceeds the speed of light.”
“Could you expand on that a little more?” asked Ridly, seeming to be genuinely interested.
“Think of it like being on a wave in the ocean,” DeKella explained. “You’re on top of the wave and it’s moving at a very fast speed. Now, imagine that it doesn’t come crashing down. Instead, it starts way out in the middle of the sea and it rushes along, unfettered, for hundreds of miles. While you sit on the top of that wave, you’re going to be moving very quickly, but everything around that wave will be moving at the rate it always moves, except for maybe a bit of a jolting that will be fleeting, at best. Does that make sense?”
“No,” Vool stated. “It’s complete idiocy.”
Dr. DeKella gawked at Harr, who merely shrugged and rolled his eyes. “Right,” she said, “well, now we take that same oceanic description and stick it in space. We can then imagine riding a wave in space, but this wave allows us to zoom around faster than light while not violating the laws of Quenstein’s Theory of Geriatric Relations.”
“Sorry,” Ridly said, “don’t you mean the Theory of General Relativity?”
“I’ve never heard of that,” said DeKella with a faraway look. “Was that one of Quenstein’s theories?”
“No,” Harr stated before Ridly could reply. “Different guy completely. Not really related. Could you refresh us on Geriatric Relations?”
“Really?” she said while scrunching her face.
“Please.”
“I would imagine it’s the same as when younger people have relations. More wrinkly, I suppose, and they probably require blue pills and better lubrication, but…”
“No, sorry,” Harr interrupted before things got out of hand, especially with Jezden being within earshot. “Not geriatric relations in general, Doctor. I meant specifically Quenstein’s Theory of Geriatric Relations.”
“Oh, right!” She shook her head, turning a bit red in the process. “How silly of me. I thought that you actually wanted me to explain…” She glanced up at Harr. “Sorry. Quenstein’s Theory of Geriatric Relations states that when you approach the speed of light, you get old really fast.”
“Uh,” Ridly started, “I don’t think…”
“Ah, yes,” Harr interrupted, “first year stuff at the university. Slipped my mind. Maybe,” Harr joked lamely, “I’ve been moving too close to the speed of light.” Nobody laughed. “You know, getting old, losing my memory. Never mind.”
Dr. DeKella leaned on the Multicombo Chamber. “Are there any other questions?”
“What happens if the Stewnathium Particles don’t make it to the core?” asked Ridly.
“Excellent question, Dr. Baloo. It’s simple, really. No particles, no warp field. They are a key component in the mix, and are part of the mathematical solution I put together to solve the problem in the first place. In essence, I discovered the Ste
wnathium Particles.”
“If that’s true,” said Jezden, “then why aren’t they named the DeKella Particles?”
“I considered it, Dr. Impotent,” DeKella said. “After a lot of thought, though, I had to admit that the mathematical side of my work was largely based on the proofs of Dr. Stewnathium—may he rest in peace—and so I felt that he should receive the lion’s share of the credit.”
“Oh, yeah,” Jezden said, “forgot about good old Dr. Stewnathium.”
“I’m surprised you’ve even heard of him, Dr. Impotent. He was never exactly famous. Well, at least not until now.”
“You have to remember, Dr. DeKella,” Ridly said with an evil grin, “Dr. Impotent has a lot of time to study about obscure things, what with his small tail and all.”
“I suppose that’s true,” DeKella said. “Sorry, Dr. Impotent.”
Jezden grunted and moved away from the group. Harr found it challenging to feel bad for the guy. Yes, it wasn’t really the android’s fault that he was such a tool, being that he was programmed to be as such, but Harr knew that these “learning androids” could improve themselves if they wanted to. Jezden had simply never wanted to.
“So, Dr. DeKella,” said Harr, “as long as these particles make it through, and the proper mix of other elements is in that chamber, you expect that the field will work?”
“Unless my calculations are wrong, Dr. Welder, it should work perfectly.”
“You know what that means, Welder,” Vool said sinisterly.
“Yes, Dr. Piffer, I do. It means that we need to get to work testing things around here to make sure that this facility meets all necessary safety regulations.”
“And you’ll have complete autonomy to do so,” DeKella said emphatically. “The only thing that I ask is that you make sure someone is with you if you want to run any particular machinery.”
“You mean there are no testing documents available?” asked Ridly.
“Not precisely, no. There just hasn’t been time. However,” she said, reaching behind the chamber and pulling out a thick book, “each section has a procedural manual. If you follow the instructions step-by-step, things should work out just fine, but seeing that our primary focus was to get the test ready in time, our documentation is admittedly dated.”
Platoon F: Quadology: Missions 6, 7, 8, and 9 (Platoon F eBook Bundle 2) Page 10