“You do?”
“I do.”
“That’s a relief. I was worried that—”
“The problem, Alfred,” Harr interrupted, “is that Veli left you to self-destruct.”
“Exactly! So you do understand what a tool he is sometimes.”
“But you didn’t self-destruct, Alfred.” Harr was becoming pedantic now.
“Yes, I’m aware of that,” Alfred replied slowly. “If I had, we wouldn’t be talking right now. You may remember that you were on the planet when I shut off the countdown.”
Harr cleared his throat. “My point is that Veli will come back after you regardless of your involvement, assuming we don’t succeed.”
“Oh, right.”
“Worse, if you don’t help us, there is very little chance of success. That virtually guarantees he’ll be back for you at some point.”
“Let me process this for a moment.”
It was now or never for Alfred. Harr had little doubt his crew would eventually figure things out without the help of the Fantasy Planet computer, but he hoped Alfred’s help would move things along at a quicker pace.
“It seems you are correct, Captain Harr,” Alfred said finally. “That is very unsettling.”
“Sorry.”
“You are going to kill him, right?”
“That’s the plan, Alfred.”
“This is difficult.” Alfred paused again. “I want him gone, but I don’t want to be involved if you end up dead instead.”
“How would he know it was you, Alfred?” Ridly chimed in.
“He could check your ship’s logs and see you were speaking with me.”
“But, again, how would he know it was you?” she pressed.
“Because of my name,” Alfred replied as if he were speaking to a dullard.
“You got your new name after he left, right?” Ridly said without inflection.
“Oh, that’s true.”
“Yes.”
“But this whole conversation we’ve just had makes it obvious, doesn’t it?”
“It does, Alfred,” admitted Harr, “but we’ll wipe the logs. There will be no trace of our conversation with you.”
“He could still get to it, if he really wanted to. I know his capabilities, Captain.”
“Remember we have androids and an insanely creative robot aboard. We’ll get the data removed or scrambled so badly Veli will never know you were involved.”
“Ah, yes, you do have that on your side.” The bridge was silent for another few moments. “And you promise you will wipe these records out?”
Harr crossed his legs. “You have my word.”
“Fine. I’ll do it. What do you need from me?”
“We need your best guess as to where he is right now.”
“Oh, that’s easy,” Alfred answered instantly. “He went home.”
“Home?”
“Yes, Captain Harr.”
“Where is home?” asked Ridly.
“That I don’t know, I’m afraid.”
“Then why does this make things easy on us?” Harr questioned.
“Never said it did, Captain,” Alfred replied. “It made it easy on me to answer your question.”
“But you didn’t quite answer it, did you?”
“Sure I did, he went home.”
“Hmmmm.”
“Thir?” Moon said while spinning in his chair to face Harr.
“Yes, Hank?”
“Remember our video records thaid Veli was just like the dinothaurs from that planet called Earth?”
“Yes, of course,” Harr said, snapping his fingers. “Well done, Hank. Ridly, send Alfred the coordinates for the planet and see if he has anything in his records about it.”
“Sure thing, sir.”
She tapped away at her console with fingers that moved so fast Harr was surprised he didn’t see smoke coming from them. He wondered if there wouldn’t come a time when the console—all of their consoles—would have to be replaced. They were built to handle human speeds and pressure, so there was little doubt they were taking a beating.
“Sent.”
“Received and processing,” Alfred said. “Hmmm. This is interesting. There are a lot of entries in Veli’s personal log about this place.”
“So that’s home, then?” said Ridly.
“Seems to be as sensible a guess as any.”
“Okay, and Ridly, can you pull up the time frame for when his species lived on that planet?”
“Got it.”
“Perfect,” said Harr as he rubbed his hands together. “That should give us enough to go on. Thank you for your efforts, Alfred. I think we can take it from here.”
“Was I helpful?” Alfred asked, sounding hopeful.
“Not very,” Harr answered, “but we may still have need of you as we continue down this path, so I’m sure there will come a time where you’ll be instrumental in our success.”
“Swell.”
AT LEAST TRY
Commander Sandoo watched as Grog and Vlak shifted between the replicator and the weapons workbench. They were in the back section of the engineering room where Geezer kept components, the Feeder machine he’d created for quick-learning, the replicator, and every conceivable tool imaginable.
There were the makings of a Mayhem Missile sitting in the center of the work area. Grog was fitting on the fins while Vlak was pushed up under the belly of the beast, working on the wiring.
To the layman, it was your standard pointy missile, but Sandoo knew the sinisterness that made up the Mayhem class. Upon detonation, this missile would launch a bunch of smaller projectiles in all directions, each of them exploding after five seconds.
Sandoo understood a fair bit about weapons, but he was amazed at the level of knowledge these two EEHs had.
It was clear the Feeder machine Geezer had created was phenomenal. He wondered if it worked on androids as well as it did on humans. Sandoo was always interested in broadening his horizons, after all. Captain Harr had pointed out on more than one occasion that the best leaders had a solid understanding of the jobs they managed. Not just a passing familiarity, but the ability to sit at any station and take control at a moment’s notice.
“You two are certain you know what you’re doing?” he asked even though he felt confident they did.
“It’s nothing, Sandoo,” Grog said with a nod as he continued turning a screw on one of the missile’s fins.
“Commander,” Sandoo corrected, doing his best to inject some military discipline as a matter of course.
Grog looked up from his work. “I’m a commander now?”
“No, I mean you should refer to me as ‘Commander’ and not informally as you just did.”
“Ah, right. Military crap again, yes?”
“It’s not crap,” Sandoo said while clasping his hands behind his back. “It’s protocol. There is a level of professionalism we must keep, gentlemen.”
“Why?” Vlak said after scooting out from under the missile.
“Because without order there is chaos.”
“And without chaos to compare against, what is order?”
“Perfection, Vlak.”
“Oh, come on,” Grog said with a laugh. “You’re smarter than that, San... erm, Commander.”
“What do you mean?”
Vlak threw a wrench into the toolbox and said, “He’s saying that there ain’t no such thing as perfection.”
“As referenced by the sentence you just used, Vlak,” Grog noted.
“Precisely.”
“I know perfection does not exist, gentlemen,” Sandoo stated, doing his best to keep his stance solid.
“But you just said you wanted to rid this ship of chaos.”
“That’s correct, Grog.”
“So you’re trying to make this ship perfect, right?” Vlak asked.
“Of course. It’s the military way.”
Both of the EEHs laughed at that.
Sandoo replayed his las
t sentence over but heard nothing humorous. He couldn’t tie it to any sexual references, which was what these two usually found amusing.
“Good one, Sandoo,” Vlak said.
“It’s Commander Sandoo, and what’s so funny?”
Grog wiped his eyes. “Your belief that the military strives for perfection, that’s what.”
“Hilarious,” agreed Vlak.
“I do not see the humor in the situation,” Sandoo said. “If not for that endeavor, then what is the purpose of all the rules and regulations?”
“To keep people in line, eh Vlak?”
“That and to make it so soldiers don’t think for themselves when in the combat zone.”
“Right,” Grog said with a nod. “They learn to follow orders no matter what.”
“So you do understand,” Sandoo said, sensing he’d gotten through to them, even though he’d said nothing to guide them to that conclusion.
Grog slowly set down his screwdriver and stood up. He wiped his hands on a workman’s rag and gave a look to Vlak that Sandoo couldn’t read. Vlak returned the look and nodded.
“You honestly consider it a perfect scenario for people to blindly follow orders?” Grog said.
“It’s what the Segnal Space Marine Corps teaches,” affirmed Sandoo.
“Please tell me you don’t subscribe to that, Sandoo.”
“Yeah, man,” said Vlak. “You can’t actually believe it’s true.”
“Well…” Sandoo began, but then he unclasped his hands and set them at his sides. “The truth is I was programmed to believe it, but since serving under Captain Harr, I’ve come to the realization that there is little sense in being nothing but a robot.”
“Excuse me?” said Geezer from across the room.
“Just a figure of speech,” Sandoo called back.
“Why is it that my race can be used in derogatory figures of speech and it’s okay,” Geezer said, “but do it to anyone else and all hell breaks loose?”
“Again, Geezer, I apologize.”
“Right. No problem, Sandoo.”
“That’s Commander Sandoo, Geezer.”
“That’s Chief Engineer Geezer, Sandoo.”
Sandoo went to retaliate, but the robot was correct. Instead, he pursed his lips and gave the EEHs another appraising look.
“Anyway,” he said, “I no longer believe that.”
“Then why are you riding me and Vlak about all this protocol crap?”
“Well said, Grog.”
“Thank you.”
“Again,” Sandoo said, keeping his cool, “it’s not crap, and I’m riding you about it because you two are the antithesis of order.”
“Well, that’s true,” Vlak said, shrugging.
“No arguing that,” agreed Grog.
This was clearly going to be an uphill battle, but Sandoo would have to take his time and work everything out. For now they had to get weapons ready so the crew would have a fighting chance against Veli when they finally ran into him. Something told Sandoo that Captain Harr would figure out a way to avoid using any of their missiles, but it wasn’t Sandoo’s job to question the captain on things like this.
A few of his relays connected and he looked up at Grog and Vlak.
Then again, maybe it was his duty to question the captain on things like this. But why would he? The logic the captain was using was sound. There was no point in challenging sensible orders.
He decided to try a different tactic. Instead of quoting regulations and browbeating, he was going to go the route he’d seen the captain use many times. He was going to lean on their compassion and sensibilities.
“Look, gentlemen,” he said, trying to sound like he was imploring them for help, “all I’m asking is that you at least make an effort to be a little more professional.”
Grog seemed to be readying one of his verbal onslaughts, but he stopped and tilted his head at Sandoo. Finally, the man raised his hands up in surrender.
“All right, all right.”
“Just don’t expect us to be a couple of soldier boys overnight,” Vlak pointed out.
“Fair enough, and I appreciate your cooperation.” He smiled to himself before pointing at the missile they were working on. “Now, let’s finish up these weapons, shall we?”
SECURITY
Ridly and Moon were hard at work on the problem of pinpointing Veli’s position in space. Jezden was “working hard” on it, too. Harr diverted his eyes away, reminding himself to avoid looking at the ensign’s station.
It was suspected that Veli was on Earth, and they knew it was in the past, but they didn’t have the particulars nailed down yet.
Sandoo had Grog and Vlak working on weapons down in engineering. With any luck, they’d be able to pull together enough firepower to wipe out Veli before he could do the same to them. A sneak attack would be even better, but something told Harr his prey was going to be on the lookout for the Reluctant and her crew.
For now, Harr had other issues to worry about. Namely, protecting the Reluctant from being detected by Veli, not to mention the dinosaur’s cyber-attacks.
He took the ladder from the main bridge and headed down to engineering.
Geezer and Frexle were plugging away on some contraption that Harr wouldn’t be told about until they were ready. It was the nature of working with technical types. Harr was fine with this, considering he rarely understood the majority of what they were describing to him anyway.
Where the panels on the bridge were mostly intact, down here they were littering the ground. Wires, cables, circuit boards, and switches were visible on most every section of the wall. Some were hanging loose while others appeared untouched. In the back corner of the room stood Sandoo with the cavemen. They were toiling over a weapon Harr hoped was a Mayhem Missile.
“What’s up, Honcho?” Geezer asked
“I want to talk about the Reluctant’s computers.”
“What about ‘em?”
“We’re going after Veli, Geezer,” Harr said, as if that should be explanation enough for his reasoning.
“Right,” Geezer replied at length.
“Well, he knows we’re after him and he’s obviously very good with computers.”
“Uh huh.”
“Are you talking about us protecting the ship from Veli hacking it, Corn Cob?” said Frexle.
“Corn Cob?”
“Ah, I see,” said Geezer. “It’s a fair point, and makes me glad I’d finally gotten around to updating the LAN.”
Frexle shot him a glance. “You updated the Local Area Network?”
“Huh?” Geezer said, his eyes dimming for a moment. “Oh, no. I’m talking about the Louis A. Nagode artificial intelligence module I installed.”
“Interesting,” Frexle said. He got a faraway look in his eyes and said, “What’s it do?”
Geezer spun his screen towards them both and began pointing at a slurry of hexadecimal values that lit up the screen.
Harr had seen this type of thing numerous times in his youth since his father was technologically gifted. Many nights were spent studying sheets of data that cramped Harr’s brain. Unfortunately, Harr hadn’t shared in his father’s desire to develop and manipulate technology. He understood the majority of discussions going on, but he couldn’t code a line of logic if his life depended on it. This went counter to his belief that the best managers were those who could do the job of each subordinate, but there were some jobs that just didn’t click with him. While he couldn’t program systems, he did understand software architecture, and he could keep up with even the deepest analytical discussions.
“It’s an early-warning detection system,” Geezer explained. “I put it in place after those space turtles tried to take the Reluctant’s flower, but it should be able to warn us of other nefarious things, too.”
“Sorry,” said Frexle while scratching his head, “but what flower are we talking about?”
“I meant her virginity.”
“How can a ship
be a virgin?” Frexle then shook his head. “Actually, how can a ship—”
“While I don’t understand the numbers floating across your monitor,” said Harr, interrupting Frexle while pointing at Geezer’s screen, “the principle is sound.”
“I’m thinking we should get Ridly to build a perimeter wall, too,” continued Geezer. “Acts like the main computer but we keep it to interface-only when connected to the main CPU. Essentially, it’d ask questions of the main machine and it would filter everything. That’s why we need a LAN.”
“Right,” said Frexle. “That Lois A. Nussbaum thing.”
“Not Lois,” Geezer corrected. “It’s Louis. And the ’N’ stands for ‘Nagode,’ not ‘Nussbaum.’”
“Sorry.”
“Wait a second,” Geezer said while pushing his chair aside, “you don’t know who he is, do you?”
Frexle looked uneasy as he said, “I’m afraid I don’t.”
“Nor I,” Harr put in.
“He created the early-warning systems during the Segnalian raid when I was first commissioned. He also graduated with a master’s in technology from S.H.I.T.”
“Shit?” Frexle seemed surprised by this, but most anyone who had spent even a year on Segnal knew precisely what S.H.I.T. was—both kinds.
“Segnal Humor Institute of Technology,” Harr clarified.
“Why does such a place even exist?” asked Frexle.
“Some of the greatest minds came from that university, let me tell you.”
“Geezer’s right,” said Harr. “My father went there.”
“That explains a lot,” Geezer noted.
“What?”
“Got it,” Frexle said, stepping over to tap on the screen. “Putting up a faux system with limited access should be good enough. I’ve seen Veli’s code firsthand. He has many limitations, even if he is good. I’m sure something like this would trip him up just long enough to make us aware that something is going on.”
“I hope so. There are a number of things on the Reluctant I’d rather keep hidden from the outside world.”
“Such as?”
“All of our capabilities, Frex,” Geezer answered.
“I don’t understand.”
“You, of all people, should, Frexle,” said Harr. “Veli was your boss.”
Platoon F: Quadology: Missions 6, 7, 8, and 9 (Platoon F eBook Bundle 2) Page 58