He looked down at me. A layer of ice had covered his blue eyes.
“Jarda is the name of the Maithar. I don’t know her surname, but something tells me she’s the retired Taeriehl.”
“Retired?” I pressed.
Cade nodded. “The way glamour works for the Amsihria is that it is very powerful in their youth, but fades over time, until it can no longer be used to manage the weather. It is still useful, just not to the capacity it was before. My guess is that Jarda’s power dimmed, and being that she was Taeriehl and very much revered, was elected the next Maithar after the other one resigned.”
“Then, she would be able to tell Robyn if she was Taeriehl, correct?” Meghan asked.
Cade nodded his head in a quick jerk. “Yes.”
I turned my head back toward Devlin and studied his face. His jaw was tight, and he remained unnaturally still.
“There’s more to it than that,” Cade was saying, his voice low and careful.
“Devlin?” I asked once again.
Finally, he looked at me. It was the same look he had on his face the morning he entered our cabin with the news that he and Enorah had concluded I was most likely of Amsihrian descent. That same distant, guarded look. At the time, I suspected he was keeping something from me. Now, I was certain.
I stood up, ignoring my complaining joints and muscles, and turned to Meghan and Cade.
“Would you mind giving us some privacy?”
Cade nodded and unfolded himself from the chair, Meghan joining him. I waited for the door to click shut before I faced Devlin again.
“This reaches back to the day you told me about the Amsihria, doesn’t it?” I asked without preamble, my voice harsher than I meant it to be.
Devlin took a deep breath and stood. He walked to the window, then crossed his arms over his chest. Outside, the rain continued to fall in an endless grey curtain, the thunder and lightning having worn themselves out. Full darkness had settled over the land, but the warped, smoky shapes of trees and hills could still be made out in the dim light.
I half-walked, half-limped over to him, but I made sure to keep my distance. Since he wasn’t facing me, I continued, “Devlin, please tell me what you know. Or at least what you suspect. Why did you look so pained when Meghan mentioned the last Taeriehl’s name?”
Devlin continued to stare out the window, his body unmoving, not saying a word.
“Devlin!” I hissed, my frustration growing. I would have stamped my foot, but it would have hurt too much.
Finally, he turned to look at me, his face no longer masked. The ice had left his irises, but they now swam with concern and something even stronger: anger.
“What is it?” I demanded. “Just tell me, please.”
He released another breath, then unfolded his arms and reached for my hand. I let him take it, stretching my arm out, so he could run his fingers over my tattoo. I glanced down. It was the one at the base of my elbow. The three swirls accompanied by a few jagged lines.
“This makes complete sense now,” he murmured, his finger tracing the zigzags. “Taeriehl.”
“Devlin,” I whispered, my own voice harsh.
He kept tracing the lines. “After my discussion with Enorah, I was convinced you were a descendent of one of the weather tamers,” he continued on, his tone soft and careful. “I even had the strange notion that you might be the Maithar’s granddaughter. Now that I know she was the last Taeriehl, I am nearly certain of it.”
I released a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. This was the reason for his strange behavior?
“But, why did you even think I might be related to her to begin with?” I asked.
“Because she told us her daughter had run off with a mortal man. There aren’t that many Amsihria in Eile, and once they become acolytes, it is nearly unheard of for one to leave the mountain.”
“And, you’ve had these suspicions for the past few months?” I asked, irritation coloring my tone. “That I was the Maithar’s granddaughter and Taeriehl?”
Devlin shook his head. “Not that you were Taeriehl. But I thought it very possible that you could be Jarda’s grandchild.”
I took a step back from him. Why had he kept this a secret from me?
“Why didn’t you tell me this back in our cabin when you first had your suspicions?” I demanded.
Devlin flinched ever so slightly. “The Maithar is not a kind person, Robyn. She hates all Lorehnin. She made that abundantly clear when we were in the Amsihr Mountains hunting the draghan. I didn’t want to bring you to the Amsihria, eager to meet a grandmother who might shun you.”
“But, that doesn’t give you the right to make the decision for me,” I pointed out, my tone stern.
He heaved a small sigh, placed his hands on his hips and let his chin fall against his chest. “I know,” he said softly. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
I unclenched my teeth and looked up at him. His behavior still made me angry, but I could understand why he would keep this from me.
“If I wasn’t so happy that you’re alive after the fight with the faelah, I’d be really ticked at you right now,” I grumbled.
Devlin gave me that small smile of his, and my heart melted. He opened his arms, and I stepped forward, mine still crossed over my chest. He pulled me close and kissed the top of my head.
“There’s still a chance that Jarda isn’t your grandmother,” he murmured.
“I know. And if she is, and if she hates me, we’ll deal with it then. To tell you the truth, I’m more terrified of the idea of being a lightning wielder.”
He gave a small chuckle. “We’ll figure out how to deal with that as well.”
A soft knock on the door reminded me we weren’t the only two people in the world.
“Can we come in?” Meghan’s soft voice asked.
“Yes,” I shouted, though I was pretty certain the word was half-muffled against Devlin’s chest.
The door creaked open, and Meghan stood there. Cade loomed just behind her.
“Everything okay?”
I peeled myself away from Devlin, but reached for his hand.
“Yes,” I promised.
Meghan turned her head and looked up at Cade, then returned her gaze to me and said, “I know you and Devlin only wanted to stay for a week, and then head north, but Cade and I think it might be a good idea for you to stay a bit longer.”
Cade took a step closer to Meghan and set his hands on her shoulders. “Whether you’re Taeriehl or not, that lightning bolt had to have caused a lot of damage.”
Now, that I couldn’t argue with. I felt Devlin move closer, draping his arms around me and pulling me up against his chest once more.
“What do you say?” he murmured. “Shall we stay for a while longer? Give you time to heal and come to terms with all of this before we go looking for your family?”
For a few moments I simply leaned against him, taking deep, healing breaths. It would be nice to stay, if only to give my body the rest it needed and to give the weather a chance to settle down. Besides, I hadn’t seen Meghan in such a long time, a week was too short to catch up, particularly when it was punctuated by the whole faelah ambush and lightning strike debacle. That had really cut into our visiting time.
I leaned my head back and looked up at Devlin, a soft smile playing on my lips. “I’d like that.”
* * *
We didn’t stay another week, exactly. Instead, Devlin and I took advantage of our hosts’ hospitality for ten more days. And I didn’t regret a single minute of it. For the first three days of our extended visit, I took it easy. I mean, lie-in-bed-until-noon-and-lounge-around-the-castle-all-day kind of easy. Unlike me, Devlin couldn’t stand just sitting around, so Cade offered to show him some of the hidden corners of Luathara’s acreage while I rested. Meghan, not surprisingly, opted to stay home with me.
I made some comment to Meghan about how medieval it was for us women-folk to stay behind, safe and sound inside t
he fortress, while the men perused the countryside looking for enemies to slaughter. She only snorted.
“Please,” she said, waving a hand at me. “If you were feeling one hundred percent, we would have joined them. Besides,” she added with a wicked grin, “haven’t we already proven we are more than capable of going to battle with the big boys?”
The idea of spending my days on top of a horse sounded both appealing and horrifying. Yes, by the second day of my confinement, I was feeling antsy and longed to be out in this incredible world that I was now a part of. Another part of me, mostly my legs and butt, reminded me how much fun I’d had trying to stay in the saddle during the thunderstorm.
To pass the time while Devlin and Cade were out, Meghan dragged me to the library and began teaching me a little about Eile’s history and laws. They weren’t as archaic as I thought they’d be. The servant to lord relationship I’d seen between Meghan and Cade and those who helped run Luathara Castle, was a courtesy my friends’ employees insisted on upholding, and not something they enforced. But, there were many differences as well. All the Tuatha De were held in high regard, especially Danua, who acted as their sole monarch.
“She may hold that position for a thousand years, or someone might rise up and challenge her,” Meghan said, when I asked her about her biological mother. “The Morrigan had done so.”
I nodded, deciding not to tear open that complicated scab. As far as I knew, Meghan was still getting to know her true mother, and surely whatever crap she and Cade had to deal with in the months before my arrival in Eile hadn’t given her as much time as she’d liked. I furrowed my brow and flipped through the worn pages. The legal system of Eile was starting to bore me, so I decided to find something else for us to talk about. I glanced in Meghan’s direction and caught sight of the bracelet she wore on her wrist. Cade wore a similar one, only not nearly as feminine, and it dawned upon me that this might be their version of a wedding band.
“You know what?” I said, clearing my throat and closing the book I’d been falling asleep over. “You never told me about your wedding.”
Meghan glanced up from her own tome, an ancient, dust-infested book with yellow pages that looked ready to crumble at any moment. She shut it in a much gentler manner than I did and turned toward me, smiling.
“You’re right. I didn’t.”
For the rest of the afternoon, she described to me, in great detail, the ceremony and reception. Not once did I feel the need to interject. I simply leaned back in my chair and soaked it all up. They had held the wedding here, at Luathara, and everyone from Kellston had attended. Some of the Tuatha De had come: the Dagda, Lugh, Nuadu and his son Bowen and Danua. Meghan made it clear, however, that her mother had been annoyed the wedding hadn’t taken place at her castle in Erintara.
“Luathara is my home now. And, I always feel like I’m on display at Erintara,” she told me.
“Meghan, you were the bride! You were going to be the center of attention anyway!” I pointed out.
Meghan sniffed and crossed her arms. “But at Luathara, I didn’t have my mother’s entire court staring at me. It was a small wedding, by Otherworldly standards.”
“And, I can imagine it was very low-key by royal standards, as well,” I added with a smirk.
She glared at me, and I grinned. It was going to be so much fun having a princess as a best friend.
All joking aside, it sounded like it had been marvelous. “I wish I could have been there,” I complained.
Meghan nodded. “Me, too.”
“Who was the maid of honor?”
“Enorah, Cade’s sister. And Birgit was a bride’s maid, and her sisters were the flower girls.”
With a huff, I fell back against my chair, my mind awhirl with too many thoughts. In the past six months, I’d been hit over the head with one crazy experience after another. First, being singled out by the Daramorr and meeting Devlin, then learning I was Lorehnin after returning from the brink of death, and finally discovering I had some love-hate relationship with Otherworldly lightning and that I might be the granddaughter of some powerful priestess who had the ability to control the weather. And to think, I’d once been of the opinion that balancing a job and taking classes at a community college was challenging. I took another deep breath and let it out, wondering when my life might calm down enough to enjoy it.
Meghan gave me a dubious look. “What was that sigh for?”
For once, I didn’t return her question with a snarky remark. Instead, I gazed into my tea, the steam rising and curling above the golden brown liquid like mist over a pond.
“Just thinking,” I admitted.
Meghan laughed lightly. “Not a good sign.”
I gave her a sour look and returned my attention to my teacup.
“Alright, what were you thinking about?”
“Life,” I admitted.
Meghan’s eyebrows rose, and she set her own cup down on a nearby table. “Life?”
I nodded. “Never in my wildest dreams would I believe my life would lead to where it has.”
For a few moments, I turned that phrase over in my mind, then glanced at Meghan. “Do you ever,” I paused, trying to grasp the right way to phrase my question. “Regret is too strong of a word,” I said eventually, then tried again. “Do you ever wish that you weren’t Faelorehn? That your mom and dad back in Arroyo Grande were your real parents, and that you were now in college, working on having a normal life?”
It was a loaded question, I knew that. And, there were a lot of ‘ifs’ in there, but it was an honest question, and one I had been thinking about lately myself. I couldn’t talk to Devlin about it, nor could I consult my parents or my friends from San Luis Obispo, either. Meghan was the only person, that I knew of, who was in nearly the same situation as me. She had grown up thinking she was human. She had been threatened by Otherworldly powers, and continued to be threatened, and she had made the decision to live in Eile. I didn’t regret leaving my old life behind, but it didn’t mean I never felt lost here, where I had not yet learned to belong.
Meghan released a small breath and straightened in her chair. For several moments, she studied the fire across the room, then looked back at me. Her hazel eyes were pale, fading to green, then grey, then back to hazel again.
“No,” she said simply. “I do not regret my decisions, and I do not wish for another life.”
She gave me an ironic smile and continued, “It wouldn’t be fair, would it? I mean, I spent nearly all of my life, and all of my high school years, feeling as if I didn’t belong. I dreamed and wished for something better, for a place where I fit in. It took my experiences in the past few years to make me realize that I would never really fit in the way I always imagined I should, but it made me realize that it was me I was trying to grow into.”
Meghan stopped talking and waved her hand around. Trying to grasp those pesky words I couldn’t find earlier, most likely.
Finally, she said, “The life I have chosen here in Eile is much, much harder than the life I would have ended up with back home. I am the daughter of a queen who must mask her emotions and be the unyielding sovereign her duty calls her to be. I am the wife of a man who has suffered years of emotional and physical abuse from the woman who gave birth to him, a goddess despised by all who live in Eile. I am the offspring of a powerful Tuatha De Danann Faelorehn and a Fomorian, the enemy of our people. And, I had to learn how to be all these things while fighting for my life. It hasn’t been an easy road, but I would never give it up, and I do not regret it.”
“Why?” I asked, my voice a bit raspy. I wasn’t arguing with her, I simply wanted to know.
My friend gave me a warm smile. “It’s simple. Because of those trials and tribulations, the ones that have passed and the ones to come, I have discovered who I am and who I am meant to be. I no longer have to struggle against all the insecurities and regrets. That, Robyn, is the most freeing and empowering feeling in the world.”
Outside, the
incessant rain pattered against the windows. A log crashed in the hearth, sending up a flurry of sparks. Somewhere in the depths of the castle, voices called out back and forth and doors clicked open and banged shut. The sounds were muffled through the walls, but I could hear them well enough. And above it all, my mind swirled. Meghan was right. She had put into words what I could not express. She had come further along on her life path than me, and she had experienced more with regards to Otherworldly things, but she was right. I was not far enough along my own path yet to realize what she had just told me, but now I knew that someday, I would be.
I beamed up at her, feeling tears in my eyes. Oh, yay. Emotions. I was sooo good at handling those these days.
The sound of Fergus barking in the entrance hall announced Cade’s and Devlin’s return. They couldn’t have arrived at a more perfect time. Taking a deep breath and getting myself under control, I rose with Meghan and met them out in the entrance hall. The four of us, as well as several members of the staff, retired to the dining room. Dinner that night was a creamy soup made from some of the early garden vegetables and dried tubers from the previous autumn. Cade informed us the weather looked to finally be clearing up, and it would be very fine in a few days when Devlin and I would leave for the Amsihr Mountains.
Later that evening, I stood and glanced out my window, counting the stars I could see winking through the tattered cloud cover above. The rain was finally moving on to new territory, and Devlin and I would soon be making our way north. I was feeling much better, physically, but emotionally, I wasn’t so sure. Meghan had fed me some of her strength during our conversation in the library earlier, but I remained unsure about what awaited us outside of Luathara. Despite what my friend and her husband had imparted about the monstrosities they’d been dealing with for the past several months, I suspected they had only been scratching the surface. Although I was curious, and longed to know more, I was happy to take this new life in small doses. I shuddered. What a thought. If what I’d experienced so far could be considered just a spoonful of what the Otherworld could throw my way, then I was in big trouble when the entire bucket started to tip.
Caelihn Page 18