So he opened the doors on that cold, clinical place, and let the love and fear and all of the messy emotions flow in. Amazingly, they didn’t detract from what he knew he had to do. He was still in the zone. Only now, there was a driving sense of urgency, a sense of importance he’d never felt before.
He clasped his boy’s cheek in one hand. “How did you get to be so brilliant?”
Connor’s lips twisted. “I’m told I have a smart dad.”
Jesse got to work. He cut open Lanie’s shirt and handed Connor the bottle of Betadine. “Sterilize the ribs on her left side.”
When Connor was done, he ripped open the dart and trailed his fingers down Lanie’s chest, counting the ribs, looking for the slight depression between the second and third. There. He pushed the needle in and felt it pop as it broke through to where it needed to be. Air rushed through the catheter. Not blood. Her chest expanded fully and her eyelids fluttered.
Connor released a relieved huff of air, followed by a laugh. “She’s okay!”
Jesse checked her vitals. The bullet was still inside her and would need to be removed, but everything was stabilizing. Blood pressure, pulse, lung sounds—all good. The bullet had lost so much velocity by the time it tore through Danny and hit her it hadn’t caused the same kind of damage.
Thank God.
Her eyes opened, focused. “Jesse?”
He leaned over so she didn’t try to sit up, and pushed her wild hair back from her face. “Welcome back.”
“Where…did I go?” she asked on a breath of sound.
“Nowhere. You’re not goin’ anywhere.”
“Okay. Good.” She groaned. “I have a bone to pick with you.”
He grinned. Here she was with a bullet wound and a recently re-inflated lung, raring to tell him off. Yup, he was completely head over heels, crazy in love with her. Hell, maybe he always had been. “I can’t wait to hear about it.”
“Dad stuck a huuuge needle in your chest!” Connor exclaimed, the wise old soul suddenly a kid again. “Like this long!” He held up two fingers to demonstrate. “It was kinda cool, and I’m pretty sure he saved your life. He loves you. He won’t tell you himself, but you should probably kiss him anyway.”
Lanie’s lips curved. “Yeah,” she said softly. “Or he could kiss me.”
Heart in his throat, Jesse leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. Soft. Gentle. He wanted to kiss the hell out of her, scoop her up in his arms and hold her tight, but he was wary of hurting her.
Later.
Yes, later, when they were safe and she was healed, he was going to hold her. And he might not ever let her go.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Lanie wished he’d hold her. She knew it was a stupid and girly thing to want, especially after railing so hard against being coddled, but whatever. She was a contrary bitch on her best days, so he’d have to get use to it.
But Jesse pulled away.
She viciously squashed the disappointment. Of course he backed off. This wasn’t exactly the best place for a make-out sesh. Defion was gunning for them, and an unknown sniper had shot—
“Where’s Danny?” She tried to sit and sucked in a breath at the incredible pain. Jesse planted a hand on her shoulder and kept her still. Only then did she notice the needle Connor had mentioned sticking out her chest. Oh, okay. That was disturbing. She suddenly felt like she might be sick all over Jesse’s boots.
“Shh,” Jesse said and soothed a hand over her head. “You need to take it easy.”
“I really don’t like needles.”
“I know. But that one has to stay put for now.”
“Oh God.” She lay back again and closed her eyes. “Is Danny safe? He pushed me out of the way.”
When he didn’t answer right away, she opened her eyes again. “Jesse?”
“Let’s worry about us first, okay?” Regret flashed across his face before he could hide it, which told her far more than his non-answer.
Tears blurred her vision. “Is he okay?” she demanded, voice cracking. But she already knew the answer. An affirmative wouldn’t put that much sorrow in her man’s eyes.
Jesse moistened his lips. “No, darlin’. He’s not.”
No. She struggled to sit and made it upright this time, but dizziness swamped her. Jesse’s hands settled on her shoulders.
“Hey, whoa. Lanie, lay down.”
“Where is he? I want to see him.”
Jesse looked at Connor and opened his mouth as if about to say something, but stopped before uttering a sound. He winced, but said, “Con, help me get her up? It’s safer over there anyway.”
As she gazed back and forth between them, following some kind of unspoken conversation, she realized something had changed for them. Jesse wasn’t shutting his son out anymore and Connor wasn’t purposely needling his dad. As soon as she could think more clearly, she’d ask Jesse about it.
When the two lifted her to her feet, pain fuzzed her mind and she regretted her request to go anywhere. She swayed and tried to talk her stomach out of expelling the coffee she’d drank last night.
Jesse scooped her up into his arms. “We have to hurry. We’ll be exposed. Con, grab my bag.”
She wanted to protest. She wasn’t a damsel in distress, thank you very much. But at the same time…
Yes. This was right. This was exactly what she had wanted, and his arms felt so incredibly good around her.
“Do you think the sniper is still up there?” Connor asked.
“No,” Jesse said. “He’s long gone, but until we get the all-clear, we’re goin’ to act like he’s still there. We’re not takin’ any chances, so run as fast as you can, okay?”
Connor nodded and took off like a bolt.
“Good boy.” Jesse readjusted her in his arms. When she winced, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’m sorry. This ain’t goin’ to feel good.”
“I’m fine,” she said through gritted teeth and wrapped her good arm around his neck. “Get moving, cowboy.”
“Hang on.” And he followed right behind his son.
By the time he made it behind the wall of men protecting Danny, she had tears streaming from her eyes, but she refused to make a sound in pain. Jesse would hate hurting her and she didn’t want to lay that burden of guilt on him. From what she could tell, he was already struggling with enough of that.
He gently set her down in the sand beside Danny and she caught her breath at the sight of the man. He looked nothing like he had only minutes ago. It was as if the big, happy man who only wanted to help people had wilted. Blue tinged lips stood out against the waxy whiteness of his face. His eyes were half open but clouded and unfocused. He was still breathing—barely. Deep gasps followed by long periods of stillness. Death breathing. She reached for his hand, found it cold and limp.
“Jess—” Her voice broke. “Is there anything…?”
He shook his head when she trailed off. His features pinched, and she knew he was trying not to cry. “The bullet significantly damaged his heart. I tried to buy him time to get to a hospital, but…it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t do enough. He just keeps bleedin’.”
“Jesus,” one of the guys muttered from the circle. Someone else sniffed hard, but they all still had their backs to the dying man, still scanning, sweeping the area with their weapons.
This could be her right now. If Danny hadn’t lunged at her, knocking her out of the way, the bullet would have hit her first. She’d be the one drawing her last breaths now.
Danny exhaled one last time with a soft rattle, and then his chest stilled. Jesse didn’t move at first, then slowly reached out to check his pulse. A full minute ticked by with Jesse’s fingers pressed against Danny’s neck. She stared hard at him, silently pleading he’d find a heartbeat or some sign that it wasn’t over.
At last, he sat back on his heels, shook his head slightly, and looked at his watch. “Time of death—” His voice cracked. “0614.”
The sound Marcus made was more animal
than human. He bent over and gathered his best friend’s limp body up in his arms.
She blinked and more hot tears trickled down her cheeks. “Danny gave his life for me. He saved me.”
Marcus looked at her with bleary red eyes. “He does that. All he wants is to save people. All he ever wanted…was to save people.”
But they hadn’t been able to save him.
The sentiment went unspoken, but not unheard.
She gazed up at Jesse in time to see the anguished look cross his face. In a lot of ways, Jesse and Danny hadn’t been so very different. They were both healers, saviors. This had to be tearing out his heart. “Marcus, Jesse tried—”
“I know.” His voice wavered, but when he gazed up at Jesse there was nothing but sincerity in his eyes. “I know if you couldn’t fix him, nobody could.”
Jesse swallowed hard. And she saw it—the flash of guilt again. The kind of guilt that gnawed at you, twisted you up. He was going to blame himself for this for a very long time, and she wished she knew how to help him.
Chapter Thirty
12:10 p.m.
Private Airfield, Martinique
If you couldn’t fix him, nobody could.
Marcus’s words played on repeat in Jesse’s head as they watched the team’s jet, affectionately called the Hornet’s Nest, land at the airport shortly after noon. Right on schedule.
If things had gone according to plan, they’d all be soaking in some tropical sunshine today. Gabe and Seth would have reunited with Audrey and Phoebe here at the airport before going on to the hotel. Quinn would’ve headed home to Mara. Connor and the recruits would’ve bonded over volleyball and trips to the beach. He and Lanie would have spent the day in her cabana discovering each other.
And Marcus and Danny would be surfing.
But things hadn’t gone according to plan. At all.
If you couldn’t fix him, nobody could.
A lie. He’d never felt more like a fraud in his life. Danny could’ve lived. He’d started declining the moment Jesse had cut him open and gone searching for the bleed. If he hadn’t done it…maybe Danny wouldn’t have bled out before he reached the hospital.
If ifs and buts were pots and pans…
He could almost hear his mom’s voice repeating her favorite idiom. And, as always, she was right. He had to stop thinking about it, stop torturing himself with everything he did or didn’t do, or else he was going to fall into that hole he’d clawed so desperately out of a few years ago.
The Hornet’s Nest came to a stop on the tarmac and a few minutes later, the door opened. Audrey came running out of there so fast her feet barely touched the ground. She took a flying leap into Gabe’s arms and he dropped his cane, catching her despite his bad leg. Audrey was crying. The two kissed, held each other in a tight embrace, and kissed again.
Phoebe was only a few steps behind, and Seth met her halfway across the tarmac. More kissing, more hugging.
Jace Garcia, HORNET’s pilot, appeared next. He took one look at the group of them and shook his head. “You cabrones always have all the fun without me.”
Normally, a comment like that would have elicited jokes and jabs at Garcia. But nobody was much in the mood for joking, and when Garcia spotted the coffin waiting to go home, his smirk faded.
“Who?” But then, he didn’t need anyone to answer. He had eyes and could see who was missing. “Danny.” He swore in Spanish and if Jesse wasn’t mistaken, the usually inscrutable bastard actually had tears in his eyes. “It’s always the good ones.”
“Which is why we’ll all live forever,” Tucker Quentin muttered to nobody in particular as he stepped up beside Jesse and swiped a sleeve over his sweating brow.
“Did you find the sniper?” Jesse asked.
“No. He got away, but not before he winged one of my guys. The asshole’s a good shot.”
“Why Danny?” He was just thinking out loud and didn’t really expect an answer, but Tucker went very still beside him. Before that moment, he’d never seen the man look less like the billionaire Hollywood heartthrob he was, and more like a straight-up killing machine. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t think the shot was meant for him.”
“Then who?”
Tuc released a long breath. “While you were working on Danny, Lanie found Schumacher on the roof of the convention center. He was taking potshots at us, but he didn’t pull the trigger on Danny. He said Defion has it out for us. They must have put Schumacher in our training program as a plant to keep an eye on us. They’re HumInt’s biggest competitor and they were probably worried about what we were up to out there in Wyoming.”
HumInt, Inc. was HORNET’s parent company, the private military contractor arm of Tuc’s empire, Quentin Enterprises. Jesse hadn’t thought there was any group on the PMC circuit as big or well-connected as HumInt. “Is Defion a threat?”
Tuc waved a hand in the general direction of the hotel and the look on his dirt smeared face said duh.
“No shit,” Jesse snapped. “But they were there after a very specific target and shit went sideways on them. I mean, are they a threat to us? To HORNET and you?”
Tucker looked at the coffin, sleek and black in the sunlight. Like an oil spill. “I don’t know,” he admitted and rubbed both hands over his face. All at once, he looked exhausted. “I don’t know what their end game is. I fucking hate not knowing, but I’ll find out. I always do.” He dropped his hands, sighed. “I’m sorry for Danny’s loss. I was prepared to offer him a job. He’d have made an excellent addition to HORNET.”
“He’d have taken the job.”
“Mm.” Tucker hummed an agreement, then turned and clapped Jesse’s shoulder. “I’m going to need you now more than ever.”
“Me?”
His gaze traveled over the pavement to the happy couples still holding each other. “Gabe and Quinn are out of the field permanently. They’ll still do the behind-the-scenes work and run the training center, but I can’t ask them to put their lives on the line anymore. HORNET needs a strong, stable leader.”
It’s not me, Jesse wanted to say. If Tuc only knew how unstable he really was, always teetering on the edge, always one spark away from an explosion he might not come back from. If Tuc knew, he sure as fuck wouldn’t be getting a job offer now. “I’m not the right man.”
Tuc’s brow arched. “Then which of the men do you suggest I offer the job to?”
He spotted Lanie walking across the parking lot. She was supposed to be on bed rest, but he’d had a hell of a time keeping her there when there had been so much damage control to do. She was moving slowly, painfully, but she was in surprisingly good condition considering she’d had air in her chest, crushing her heart and lungs, less than six hours ago. But once he’d drained the air and re-inflated her lung, her bullet wound had proven to be very non-fatal. He’d been able to remove the bullet with tweezers and close the wound with a couple stiches.
She was an amazing warrior. Brave, strong, and stubborn.
He watched her sit down beside Marcus and wrap her arms around him. Yes, she was a warrior, but she also possessed a softness the rest of them lacked, a kind of all-encompassing empathy that even the best men he knew weren’t capable of.
She was so afraid she didn’t have a place on the team. But she did. She was their heart.
He turned back to Tuc. “Who said anything about a man?”
…
Lanie felt like shit. Not only because she’d been shot, but also because watching all the happy couples reunite only served to drive home the fact that Danny gave his life for her. He’d shoved her out of the way, and because of that, he’d never have a happy reunion with his wife.
To make maters worse, her own happily ever after seemed to be slipping farther away with each passing minute. Jesse had distanced himself again. Okay, true, he’d had a lot to do in the last few hours, but now that they were getting ready to go home, he still hadn’t spoken to her. He stood over there with Tuc Quentin
and hadn’t spared her a glance.
Okay, girl, enough with the pity party.
She turned away from him and spotted Marcus over by his best friend’s coffin, watching all the happy couples come together on the tarmac. God, she’d never seen him look so defeated. Marcus was one of those guys with a bigger-than-life personality. He lit up every room he walked into, and was always quick with a joke and that charming mega-watt smile of his.
Now, he was just…broken.
She walked over and set a hand on the coffin. A knot rose in her throat. She hadn’t known Danny long, but she felt his loss as sharply as a knife through her heart. She couldn’t imagine what Marcus was feeling. “Are you okay?”
He didn’t speak for a long time. So long, she almost turned away, figuring he didn’t want the company.
Finally, he sucked in a sharp breath and looked at her. Tears spiked the thick lashes rimming his blue eyes. “Lanie. I don’t know what to do.”
No, he didn’t need solitude right now. He needed a friend. She sat down beside him, careful not to jostle her wounded side. “What would Danny have done if the situation were reversed?”
“He’d take me home to my mom.”
She placed a hand on his knee and waited until he looked at her. “Then take him home.”
He shook his head. “It’s all wrong. It should be reversed. It should be me in that coffin. I don’t have a wife, kids…”
“You have a mother. I know you’re close with her and she’d grieve if it had been you.”
He bent double and buried his face in his hands. “Oh fuck. What do I tell his wife? I don’t know what to say to Leah. She’s going to blame me and she’ll be right. This is my fault. He never should’ve been here. I convinced him to come. He never should have been here.”
At a loss, she pulled him into her arms and held him while he cried. What else could she do? Her own eyes teared up and she again glanced toward Jesse. Tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed. Hell, she wouldn’t have had a tomorrow if not for Danny.
Code of Honor (HORNET) Page 20