“If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have bothered using one, for all the damn good it did! And there was no ‘user error’ on my part. I’ve never had this happen any other time I’ve had sex.”
“We weren’t even supposed to have sex!”
“You wanted it as much as I did. I definitely didn’t hear you complaining.” Olivia swiped at the tears running down her cheeks, and his chest felt as if it would cave in. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have yelled. This wasn’t the news I expected today.”
“Tell me about it,” she mumbled. “I thought you should know as soon as I did, since this baby is as much yours as it is mine.”
His baby. Their baby.
He’d wanted to keep their relationship going, but a baby? He tried to focus his thoughts. “But I can’t. I never wanted kids.”
“Of course you don’t. What bachelor would?” Olivia’s chin quivered as she clearly tried to hold back another round of tears.
His chest constricted again. This wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted a normal dating relationship with her, not a baby. But he didn’t want to hurt her. Damn it, why couldn’t he have a little time to deal with his thoughts before having to talk rationally about this?
“I didn’t mean…”
“I know what you meant. You’ve made it clear the whole time. You don’t do commitment. You don’t do relationships. I don’t even know why I bothered telling you.” She bit her lip as tears continued to slip down her cheeks. She swept at them quickly. “I can’t believe I did this to myself again. I thought I learned my lesson after Sam, but apparently not.”
“I’m nothing like Sam,” he said forcefully. He would never dump her or hurt her that way. “I would never get engaged to you like that.”
Olivia sucked in a breath and staggered back a step.
Shit. That came out all wrong.
Sawyer ran his hands through his hair. “I just need time to think. To—”
There was a knock at the door and she turned to answer it.
“He’s here, Mr. Sterling,” said Candace. Her gaze darted between Sawyer and Olivia, sizing up the situation and obviously realizing this wasn’t an average business meeting. She probably thought they were having a lover’s spat.
Ha. I wish.
“Should I send him in?” she asked.
“Yes, of course. Let’s not keep him waiting.” Sawyer took a deep breath. “We’ll talk more at home, okay?”
Home. Where his fake girlfriend and real baby-to-be would be waiting for him. A chill ran down his spine. He could barely be a boyfriend and now he was supposed to be a father?
The thought of having someone who depended on him the way a child would sent fear—deep, primal, all encompassing fear—through his body. This was his worst nightmare. He wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps with the company, but he’d never planned to go so far as to have a child to leave behind when his own ticket came up.
What the hell was he going to do?
He thought he saw Olivia nod before she slipped out of his office. Hopefully by the time he got home, he’d be able to think clearly and figure out how they were going to deal with having a baby together. The idea of a baby made his chest hurt. Taking a deep breath, he forced his thoughts off of his personal life and onto the task at hand. Marcus.
He pulled his shoulders back, straightened his tie, and plastered a confident smile on his face. This was it. The moment of truth. Everything else would have to wait.
He extended his hand as Marcus walked into his office. “Nice to see you again.” Marcus’s handshake was firm, but his demeanor was relaxed. “Since you called this meeting, I’ll let you have the floor,” Sawyer said.
“I liked what I saw in your presentation, and I like the way you guys think around here. I’d like to sign the contract with you.”
Sawyer shook Marcus’s hand again, overjoyed and relieved. “Thank you. You won’t regret it.”
“On one condition,” Marcus stated flatly.
“Name it.”
“I need you to physically oversee the marketing campaign. There are communication barriers I’m not sure we can break via email. I need you there, at least to get them kicked off on each campaign.”
Time away? But he’d been planning on starting a real relationship with Olivia. Of course, that was before all this talk of a baby. He wasn’t cut out to be a father. His own, as much as he loved him, had been a workaholic and Sawyer was already fulfilling that role. That’s what he knew how to be. That’s what he was good at. How was he supposed to suddenly tap into some paternal instincts he wasn’t even sure he had?
This wasn’t ideal, not when he knew Olivia wanted a stable commitment. Not with a baby on the way. Before, there’d been a chance she might be content with dating, but now? Now she would want more. Did he?
“How long do you think I’d be needed overseas? If it’s to get things started in each region, are we talking a week in each place? More? Less?”
“We’re not sure. Our vision has to be communicated properly. Could be a few months by the time you’re done. Of course, your expenses will be paid in full.”
“Can we do it remotely, via satellite video conferencing?”
Marcus shrugged. “Depends on the region. It’s possible, but I wouldn’t count on it. I need your agreement on this before I sign. If you don’t think you can commit, then now’s the time to tell me.”
Why did everything have to be a commitment?
Those days of freedom were gone and if he didn’t embrace this opportunity with Marcus now, he’d lose it. He’d explain everything to Olivia tonight. As an added benefit, time away would give him a chance to sort out his feelings about the baby, about being a father—something he couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around right now.
“I’ll make it happen. I’m thrilled you picked Sterling.”
“Good. Rally the troops and let’s tell them all the good news.”
Sawyer blanched. “Now?”
“Why not? Let’s make it official.”
Sawyer lifted the phone receiver to his ear. “Candace, call everyone over. I have an important announcement.”
Through the blinds he spotted Olivia trying to look busy, even though he could tell she was doing anything but work. He wished he could tell her about the required travel in private.
Moments later, a group had formed outside of his office. With little time for any other options, he led the way across the room, but not before catching Olivia’s gaze and winking. He hoped she knew it meant everything would be okay.
Together, he and Marcus went to the small raised area at one end of the room, where they would sometimes do big company presentations. Once on the little stage, he raised his hands and the excited chatter dissipated.
“Thank you all for gathering so quickly.” He paused, trying to organize his thoughts. There were too many things swirling around in his brain today. “I have the great honor of announcing Todd Marcus has decided to sign with Sterling!”
Applause thundered through the room. Pride swelled within him. He’d done it. Months of hard work finally paid off. Hopefully this would be the start of a long and prosperous partnership with Marcus.
He searched for Olivia in the crowd, finally finding her in the center of the room, cheering along with everyone. Even with everything going on in her life, she was happy for him, for the company she was a temporary employee at. She was amazing.
“Let them hear the rest.” Marcus nudged him to continue.
Sawyer held up his hands and the crowd quieted. “There’s more. Also exciting, I think, though unexpected. Marcus has asked me to supervise the marketing efforts in each region to make sure the vision we created is maintained and communicated. I won’t be gone long, but it could be a few months.”
Sawyer looked back to Olivia, but she wasn’t where she had been. Scanning the crowd, he finally spotted her by the bank of elevators. Even at a distance, he saw her shoulders shake and her eyes glistening
with new tears. He knew she’d be upset—about the travel, about the baby. Everything.
A strong hand gripped his shoulder as he started walking toward her.
“Let’s celebrate. I’ve made reservations at Bernie’s,” Marcus said.
Olivia stepped into the elevator, meeting his gaze briefly before the door closed. It was enough time to see the hurt and accusation on her face.
His insides twisted and he wanted more than anything to go after her, but Marcus squeezed his shoulder again looking for an answer. Reluctantly, he plastered a celebration-worthy smile on his face. He had to push everything else aside and finalize this contract. Then he’d go back to his apartment and deal with Olivia and the baby situation, and maybe he’d figure out what the hell he would do about it all.
…
Blinking away yet another rush of tears, Olivia jammed clothes into her bag. Being out of Sawyer’s apartment by the time he strolled back home was a necessity.
She couldn’t look at him and know that everything she’d thought he’d felt for her was nothing more than the lie they’d set out to tell together. He’d done his part. He’d played along as her boyfriend, showing her off, kissing her, cuddling her…more…
She had no one to blame but herself for the feelings she’d developed for him. He’d been truthful from the start about what he wanted: the cabin to call his home, a temporary girlfriend, and no real commitment. And then she’d gotten pregnant. So much for commitment free. But there had been moments when she’d thought maybe he might want more, too. Obviously those moments were a product of wishful thinking.
Since college and her relationship with Sam, the only thing she’d wanted was stability, a partner in life, and a family. Sam had been the first to rip that dream away from her and she’d fled from him, from her failure, from everything she hoped for but wouldn’t have. For five years, she’d travelled the world to escape her feelings about the past.
Now it was Sawyer’s turn to reject her and ruin everything. Heartache triggered the same fight or flight response, but this time she couldn’t run away, not when there was a child growing inside of her. This time, she had no choice but to stay and face her mistakes.
She’d gone into this arrangement knowing it was just that…a business arrangement, not a serious relationship. Wasn’t this exactly what they’d both wanted—an end date so they could move on with the rest of their lives? Maybe it’s what she’d convinced herself she wanted. But that was before there was a baby involved.
He’d said he wasn’t father material, that he never wanted children. It looked like he was proving his point by agreeing to travel, which would take him away from his responsibilities, away from his son or daughter…away from her.
Overcome by the pain radiating through her chest, Olivia sank to the floor and leaned against the bed. Tears rolled down her already blotchy cheeks. As much as she’d tried to deny it, as much as she didn’t want it to be true, she couldn’t ignore the facts any longer.
She’d fallen for Sawyer.
Fake boyfriend or not, baby or no baby, she’d given him her heart, her soul, her everything. He was supposed to be a placeholder so she could get her life settled before finding the love of her life. Instead, she’d fallen for the playboy, the man who never wanted a future with any woman, let alone her.
How had she been so stupid again?
Aidan had warned her not to get too close, and she’d ignored him, believing she was strong enough to handle Sawyer. But she wasn’t. He’d become her whole world and now he’d agreed to leave it without so much as warning her first. He didn’t care about her, or their relationship. He didn’t care about their child.
How was she going to continue this charade for another few weeks?
She wasn’t, that’s how.
Screw him. Screw his stupid cabin and his deceitful plan. If he could make choices for his future without even considering her feelings, then so could she. Starting right now.
Pulling herself from the floor, she grabbed the last of her things, took one more look around the room she’d enjoyed for the last two months, and closed the door—leaving Sawyer in the past along with the rest of her dreams and hopes for the future with him.
She was back to having no apartment, and after she called the human resources department tomorrow and quit, she’d have no job either. The last two months of hard work, gone with a positive pregnancy test. But she had the baby, and regardless of how Sawyer felt about being a dad, she was ready and excited to be a mother—even a single mother.
Maybe her future wasn’t exactly as she hoped, but she would do whatever it took to make a good life for her child. With or without Sawyer by her side.
After a long, snot-filled taxi ride, she used the key her brother had given her to his apartment. Seeing him and admitting what she’d done was the last thing she wanted to do, but she had nowhere else to turn.
Grabbing the extra blanket and pillow from the closet, she curled up on the couch and gave into the pain, hoping by the time Aidan got home from work, she’d be ready to take his lecture. She didn’t want to hear it, but she certainly deserved it.
Chapter Nineteen
“Olivia!” Sawyer threw open the door to the apartment. It was late. He’d been forced to celebrate with Marcus and the rest of the team for the better part of the evening, much later than he’d anticipated or wanted. He strode down the hall toward her bedroom and knocked on her door. “You in there?”
Silence.
Pounding on the door, he called out again, louder. “Talk to me.” The breath caught in his throat as he waited for her response.
Again, silence.
Twisting the knob, he inched the door open and peered inside.
Her room was as vacant as the rest of the apartment. Empty hangers littered the closet. Her dresser drawers were picked clean. The bathroom vanity confirmed his fears—Olivia was gone.
He’d known she’d be upset with him over the travel, and especially his reaction to the baby, but he’d never expected her to move out. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed her number, then sat on the edge of her bed, waiting for her to pick up. When she didn’t, he left a quick message to call him back, that he was sorry, and he wanted to talk.
Flopping onto her pillow, he breathed deep, taking in her scent, still lingering on the fabric. God, he loved the way she smelled, like sunshine and vanilla.
He’d been working so hard for so long for the success he’d achieved today and now the only person he really wanted to celebrate with had moved out and wasn’t taking his calls.
He dialed her again, leaving a more urgent message when she still didn’t pick up. After the sixth message, he had to restrain himself from throwing his phone across the room. Instead, he dialed Aidan.
“I warned you not to hurt her like you did Tammy,” Aidan said, in a tone so eerily soft that it told Sawyer he was pissed and barely keeping it together.
He sighed with relief. “Good. Then you’ve spoken to Olivia.”
“I’d sound a little less excited, if I were you.”
“Where is she?” If she was at Aidan’s, he was going over there immediately.
“I found her curled up on my couch with a mess of used tissues littering my floor. What did you do to my sister?”
“Nothing. It’s a misunderstanding. I’ll come over and explain.”
“No.”
“No what?”
“You won’t step foot inside this apartment until I talk to her.”
His blood pressure spiked with his anger. This had nothing to do with Aidan and he had no right to play gatekeeper. “This is between me and her. Not you.” He practically growled the last few words before hanging up.
She might be Aidan’s sister, but she was his girlfriend. Fake girlfriend. Whatever.
She was his. He just had to win her back.
…
“Wake up.”
Olivia stirred and batted at whatever was making noise. Her head thumped
to the beat of her pulse and her eyes felt as if she’d walked through a sandstorm. Pulling the blanket up around her ear, she attempted to block out the rest of the world. She wanted to stay tucked away in her cocoon forever.
“He’s on his way over, so you better tell me what happened.”
She groaned. The thought of admitting the pain and rejection to her brother, his best friend, made her nauseated. Or maybe that was pregnancy hormones.
Aidan had been right. Sawyer was bad news from the start, but she didn’t listen and now she was a giant ball of snot and sore eyes with a big old broken heart dying in her chest. Not that she was being “overly dramatic,” as Sawyer would say.
Tears welled in her eyes at the memory of him teasing her, calling her out on her behavior. He simultaneous annoyed and amused her every time. She’d miss that part of their relationship.
Fake relationship.
She pushed herself to a sitting position and met her brother’s gaze. Anger and protectiveness hardened his features.
“What happened?”
She sighed, feeling defeat throughout her entire body. “He got the Marcus project.”
“But that’s a good thing.”
She chuckled. “I used to think so, too. It still is, I guess.” She didn’t want to admit her feelings to her brother, or Sawyer, or anyone else. If she said them out loud, then they were out there in the world. If she kept them to herself, maybe she could convince herself they didn’t exist.
“And?”
She chewed the inside of her cheek. “And Marcus wants him to travel, to kick off the marketing teams in each region so nothing about their brand message is lost in translation.”
“That’s bad why?”
“Because he didn’t tell me it was part of the deal. Because he didn’t even once consider I might care he was going away. Because I fell for him, okay?” A sob bubbled up as the pain in her chest reared up again. “Because…I’m pregnant.”
Aidan’s arms were around her in seconds, cradling her to his chest, rubbing her back while she sobbed. When her cries turned to stuttered breaths, he called down to the doorman, barring Sawyer from the building.
The Hookup Hoax (Entangled Lovestruck) Page 17