Lost in You

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Lost in You Page 27

by Jules Bennett


  Thankfully no more headaches, though. She’d been faithful in keeping her meds right on her in case of another onslaught, but nothing since the last meltdown.

  Macy crossed the brick patio and into the cool grass. She’d slipped her shoes off as soon as the last guest had gone. The blades tickled her toes, but she loved being outside. The moon had come up, sending a sparkling reflection onto the water.

  Once she reached the edge, Macy sank down into the grass, pulled her knees up, and wrapped her arms around her legs. She tugged the short, flared skirt around to cover her as much as possible, but other than the ducks, there was no one out here to flash. And she didn’t care about grass stains at this point. Her mind was on other things.

  What if she asked Liam to stay? What would he do? Would he feel torn or obligated?

  On the flip side, if he asked her to come with him, would she? She’d just built a home and she was hoping to adopt Lucy. But . . . he hadn’t asked. Hadn’t even hinted that was an option.

  Macy dropped her forehead to her knees.

  “I assume you want to be alone.”

  Liam’s voice behind her had Macy stilling. She clenched her hands and lifted her head, but didn’t turn.

  “Then why did you come out?”

  He came to sit beside her, still in his navy dress pants and navy dress shirt, but the sleeves were rolled up on his forearms. His bandage was much smaller, but he’d still been only using his right hand from what she’d seen. She couldn’t help but wonder how injured he truly was.

  “Because you’ve avoided me all day,” he replied.

  Too close. He sat entirely too close. The soft breeze sent her hair gliding over her shoulders, tickling her bare skin. The woodsy cologne he always wore enveloped her.

  “I’ve been busy,” she informed him, keeping her eyes locked on the dark water. Somewhere the family of ducks were wading around, but unless they came into the path of the moonlight, she couldn’t see them. “I’m about to go home—just wanted some fresh air.”

  When she started to get up, Liam placed his hand on her arm. “Don’t go.”

  Macy closed her eyes. “We’ve gone all week without this. I don’t have the energy to argue anymore. It’s just time we let go and move on.”

  His thumb stroked the inside of her arm, the most sensitive place. “I don’t want to argue, but I’m not leaving town with all of this pain between us, all of this tension.”

  She risked a glance his way. “You know when you’re leaving?”

  His dark eyes met hers. “I have a couple people I’m talking to about taking over here. They both worked for Magnolias for a time, so I know them.”

  Silence settled around them and Macy waited for him to answer her question. He blew out a breath, raking a hand over the back of his neck.

  “I’m hoping to be gone within the next two weeks.”

  The air rushed from her lungs. That was rather fast. Didn’t the sale of properties take more time?

  “I found out my old condo building has another unit that’s opening next week. I have a few changes I want to make at Magnolias so I need to be there to oversee those. The final sale will go through in about fifteen days or so.”

  “You’ve been busy,” she murmured. Straightening her legs, Macy leaned back on her hands and willed the hurt to cease. He’d never fully been hers, so how could this hurt so bad?

  “I haven’t said anything because I wanted everyone to focus on the weddings. But I’ll tell them Monday.”

  Well, at least he’d never lied to her. That was something. Liam had always been up-front and honest about the fact he didn’t want to be here, and whatever he felt for her didn’t override the dream he had of owning his own restaurant.

  “Well, congratulations.” Macy pushed off and came to her feet, smoothing her dress down. “I’m heading out.”

  She’d managed to take two steps before she stopped and turned back to him. Not surprisingly, he was on his feet.

  “I know you want this more than anything, and I’m truly happy for you.” She fisted her hands at her sides and pushed the rest of her thoughts out before she had the chance to change her mind. “But just tell me, did I ever weigh in on your decision? I mean, what we had, did it mean half as much to you as what it did to me?”

  In her head the questions didn’t sound so . . . needy. Now that they were out, she cringed. She wasn’t that clingy a woman. Hadn’t she prided herself on control after she’d been nearly raped?

  Liam infuriated her because she lost all sense of control whenever he was around. All he did was get into her mind, into her heart, and she was completely lost.

  With slow, deliberate steps, he completely closed the space between them. His hands slid up into her hair, the stronger hand gripping a fistful as he pulled her in closer.

  “You think this didn’t mean anything to me?” he ground out. “You think leaving is easy for me? Nothing about you has been easy since I came back, Macy. But if I stayed, I’d always wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t taken this chance.”

  The way he towered over her, his face so close to hers, his grip on her, had Macy sliding her hands around his waist. She needed to touch him, feel him against her. If this was how they were going to officially part, she needed one last bit of Liam to lock away inside her heart.

  “I want to hate you.” She blinked away the tears. She would put up a strong front. She knew this hadn’t been an easy decision for him, but that didn’t make the pain any less. “Part of me wishes we’d never started this.”

  He rubbed his lips against hers. “And the other part?”

  “Is glad to have learned how I should be treated by a man.”

  He eased back, his thumb stroking along her jawline. “You can say that even though this isn’t going to last?”

  She smiled through the hurt. “I can say that because you showed me that I’m stronger than I thought. I can say that because you never lied to me. The way I feel about you is all on me.”

  Maybe she was a masochist, maybe she just couldn’t bear the thought of never being with him again, but she fisted the bottom of his shirt and untucked it from his pants. When she glided her hands beneath the hem, meeting his taut back, Macy rested her forehead against his chest.

  “If Brock weren’t inside—”

  “He left when I came out here.” Liam’s hand went to the zipper on the back of her dress and slowly eased it down. “You sure about this?”

  Was she? This probably wasn’t the smartest idea, but she couldn’t deny him, herself. This one last time. She knew going in that this would be it. But damn it, she wanted him and for tonight, for now, she was going to take this sliver of happiness.

  Macy stepped back, letting the loose dress slide down her body and silently to the ground. Standing before him in only her strapless white lace bra and matching panties, she was so glad she’d opted to have a good lingerie day.

  His eyes devoured her. The visual lick he gave her had shivers racing all through her.

  “Damn. I thought you looked gorgeous in the dress, but out of it . . .”

  When his hand went to his buttons, Macy reached out. “Let me. I don’t want you to injure your hand anymore.”

  “Forget my hand. I want to touch you and I need these damn clothes off.”

  Considering she was in just as much of a hurry, Macy made quick work of ridding him of his shirt and unfastening his pants. He kicked off his shoes and she jerked everything down.

  “You better hope no one comes back,” she said with a laugh as he stood before her naked and she still only wore her bra and panties.

  “They better hope they don’t come back or they’re going to get quite an education.”

  Next thing she knew they were on the bank of the pond. Liam rolled over so his back was in the grass as she straddled him. When she braced her hands on either side of his head and lowered herself onto him, she locked her eyes with his.

  She wasn’t in a hurry, wasn’t ready fo
r this night to end.

  Liam’s hand gripped her waist, his fingertips digging into her skin. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but Macy leaned down, capturing his mouth. No words were necessary. Nothing would change the outcome of this and all she wanted, all she needed, was one last time.

  She made love to him under the stars, giving herself up even though her heart was breaking. And when they trembled in each other’s arms, Macy closed her eyes and willed the tears away. She would love Liam forever, but she’d never be enough.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “And we have a new eight-burner gas stove in addition to the six burner.”

  Liam took in the familiar kitchen. He thought he’d feel like he’d come home, but that emotion hadn’t hit him yet. Granted, Liam had only come in to Magnolias for the day to talk with Mark and go through the entire restaurant to discuss final details.

  “John was promoted to head chef when you left,” Mark went on. “I know this will be a smooth transition with you both holding the reins.”

  Liam and John had gotten along beautifully over the years at Magnolias. This would be a perfect match. Liam continued to walk around the kitchen, thankful he’d driven over early, before they opened.

  “I heard from the bank and the final papers will be ready on Tuesday of next week,” Mark added.

  One step closer to his goal. “Great.”

  Liam passed by the pristine white plates, instantly reminded of the floral ones Sophie had at the resort. The large flat screen over the prep area took him back to several months ago. The orders would come in one after another, unlike at Bella Vous, where he could do his own thing and cater to a smaller, thankful clientele.

  “Do you have any other questions?” Mark asked. The older man crossed his arms over his blue dress shirt and leaned back against the stainless-steel counter. “I think I covered everything. I had all of the contents added into the contract. I’ll be taking nothing with me when I go. There are several weddings scheduled next month, so you’ll be getting back just in time to pick up where you left off.”

  Weddings. Liam swallowed the lump of emotions. No point in thinking of the past . . . or the last wedding he’d been part of, which had him stripping Macy in the backyard.

  “I don’t have any other questions,” Liam stated.

  The more he glanced around the kitchen, after he’d strolled through the dining room and around the grounds, the more he wondered if this was truly his dream or if he was just fulfilling a goal of his mother’s.

  His cell vibrated in his pocket, but he’d get to it later. He’d promised to be back at Bella Vous by two so he could get dinner started and interview a potential chef. Most likely, whoever needed him was one of his brothers.

  “It’s going to be great for this place to have you here again,” Mark added. “The staff is excited you’re coming back, too.”

  “You have a great staff,” Liam agreed.

  Mark chuckled. “Now you’re going to have a great staff.”

  Liam merely nodded as the cell in his pocket went off again. He pulled it out, glancing at Sophie’s name. He’d get back to her later. Though it wasn’t like Sophie to text two times in a row.

  “I better get back to Haven,” Liam stated, anxious to return to the car to see what Sophie needed. “I’ll see you at the bank Tuesday and if I think of anything before then, I’ll call.”

  Mark nodded and stepped forward. “I’m ready to hit retirement and let someone I trust take over.”

  Liam rubbed the back of his neck, tension building as nerves settled in. He was actually buying a restaurant. And not just any restaurant, but the most prestigious one in Savannah and the surrounding area.

  “Any retirement plans?” Liam asked as they started toward the back door.

  Mark shoved the steel door open, holding it for Liam to pass through first. “My wife has always wanted to get an RV and just travel the country, so I guess I’ll be RV shopping next week.”

  The bright morning sunshine hit Liam as he pulled his sunglasses from his back pocket and slid them on. “Sounds like a plan.”

  Liam said his good-byes and headed to his SUV. Once inside, he immediately opened the texts from Sophie. He read them once, twice, then stared at the glaring words. This wasn’t happening. Could fate be this cruel?

  Liam had no idea what the hell to do at this point, but he knew he needed to get back to Haven immediately. Nothing else mattered.

  As he drove away from Magnolias, his heart ached, thoughts whirled through his mind, and he just wanted to make all of this right. But he knew even this was out of his control.

  * * *

  There had only been one other time where the pain was so intense, Macy literally ached. When her mother died, that had been almost unbearable.

  But nobody had died this time. Lucy had been removed and was going to live with her grandmother in Texas. Apparently the grandmother had a falling out with Lucy’s mother, but they were related so the woman wanted her granddaughter.

  Macy could hardly blame her, but still . . .

  She’d just taken the high chair into the garage to store it when her front door opened and closed. It was midmorning and she was always at the hardware store during this time, but thankfully her father had taken over. He’d been at the store with Lucy when the call came in from Laverne.

  “Macy?”

  Sophie’s voice echoed through the house. The empty house. Who knew a week with an infant could turn your world completely inside out? Macy had always respected foster parents, but she had a whole new appreciation now. The emotional battles they faced, the bond, the loss.

  Macy stepped up into the kitchen from the garage just as Sophie closed the front door.

  “I hope you don’t mind I let myself in.” She stood in the doorway, a sad smile on her face. “I just . . . I didn’t think you should be alone.”

  Macy nodded, biting her lip so she didn’t burst into tears all over her friend. Not only was Lucy gone, Liam was leaving next week. Macy had tried to brace herself for this, had known she was on borrowed time, but for everything to come crumbling down on her at once . . . It was seriously more than she could bear.

  “I’m okay. I mean, I’m not, but this was what I signed up for, right?” Macy braced her hand on the corner of the countertop. “Going into foster care is opening your heart to a hurt you cannot describe, but it’s so rewarding. I just . . . I thought I’d have more time and I really thought I’d be considered for adopting her.”

  Sophie tipped her head and crossed the room. “There will be others. You’ll bring children in and love them, and when the time is right, you’ll get that family you want.”

  Tears burned Macy’s eyes, clogged her throat, and her only response was to nod.

  “What can I do for you?” Sophie asked. “You need a girl day? Cora offered a massage. She said she’d rearrange any of our guests and just tell them she made a mistake in scheduling. Let us help you through this. Wine? Chocolate? A dirty movie?”

  Macy laughed. “No. I’m just trying to move all the baby stuff. I can’t come home every day and look at it.”

  Sophie glanced around the kitchen, into the open living area. “Let me help you with that. Then maybe we can go get some lunch. Is your dad watching the store today?”

  Nodding, Macy headed to the sink to wash the sippy cup and bowl Lucy had used for breakfast. Was that just this morning? So much had changed. Everything had changed.

  Macy rested her palms on the edge of the sink, dropping her head between her shoulders. She willed herself not to cry. She’d already cried so long her head threatened to blow up again on her. But it didn’t matter. Maybe that pain would take away the ache inside her heart.

  Sophie’s arm came around her shoulders. “It’s going to be all right.”

  “I know,” Macy whispered. “But losing Lucy, knowing Liam is moving back . . . It’s just quite a bit to take in all at once.” Macy reached up to rub her head—damn headache.
r />   “Take your medicine,” Sophie stated. “Go take a nap, go take a walk, or whatever you want to get through this. I’ll pick up and you won’t have to worry about anything.”

  “You don’t have to do that.” Macy turned, rubbed her forehead. “But I am taking my medicine. The last thing I need is a migraine.”

  She crossed to the narrow cabinet above the refrigerator. She’d automatically moved all medicines up high before she knew the age of the child coming to live with her. She’d put everything out of reach before the first home inspection.

  Once she swallowed her migraine pill, Macy faced Sophie, who was filling the dishwasher. “I know you didn’t come here to clean my house.”

  Without looking up, Sophie said, “I came to help with anything you need.”

  What she needed, her friend couldn’t provide.

  “I’ve been wanting to put some new pots and flowers out front on my porch, but I’ve been so busy.”

  Sophie closed the dishwasher and started it up. “Then go do it. I promise, I’ll put any baby things in the spare room and close the door.”

  “You’re the best friend.”

  Sophie blew out a sigh and reached for Macy’s hand. “Only my parents and Zach know that I cannot have children.”

  “What?”

  Sophie squeezed her hand. “After the accident, and the surgeries, I was told I’d never be able to have children. I know a little of how you’re feeling. I always wanted a family, so seeing pregnant women, people with baby carriers, families in the park, it hurt. I won’t lie. But I also know everything happens for a reason and now I have Brock and Zach. I wouldn’t change my life for anything.”

  Macy had no idea why Sophie had opened up, but Macy wrapped her arms around her friend. “I’m so sorry. I know you’re happy now, but I’m sorry if this brought up bad memories.”

  Easing back, she met Sophie’s soft smile. “I was going to just hide here all day and will the world away,” Macy added.

  “I figured you’d want to be left alone, but that’s usually when you need someone the most.”

 

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