by KL Donn
Feeling the heat from their bodies on either side of her as they sat down, she waited for the touch she knew was coming. When it didn’t, she lifted her head up, not looking at either of them but not shutting them out either.
“We’re not going anywhere, Kenny. We’re here to stay for however long you want us to,” Linc explained gently.
“It wasn’t our intent to leave the way we did last time, Sunshine. We need you to know that had we been able to turn that assignment down, we would have. But I swear to you it was our last. Nothing short of death will take us from you again,” Creed whispered close to her ear.
Nodding her head in agreeance with them, she figured they would just have to show it. Her trust in anyone but her parents and brothers had been shattered. She needed the actions to prove the choices and even then, she didn’t think it would be good enough.
They sat that way for hours. Every once in a while Kenny could feel tears gather in her eyes and at one point, she got so completely overwhelmed and distraught with her emotions of not being alone anymore she started to sing…
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.
I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another
You'll regret it all some day.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.
You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But now you've left me and love another
You have shattered all of my dreams.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.
In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains.
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you, dear, I'll take all the blame.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.
“You remembered?” Creed asked her sounding amazed. Looking at him, she saw his eyes alight with happiness, so much happiness she had to look away. It was painful to see. To know she’d never feel that same way again was devastating.
Gazing at the watch on her wrist, she noticed it was later than she thought— nearly dinner time. Getting up she walked to the back door. Turning to look at their hopeful gazes made her incredibly sad because she couldn’t stand to be around anyone right then. She needed space. More than they were probably willing to give her.
Turning back around, she watched as the sun started to dip in the sky making the horizon a gorgeous hue of reds, oranges, and yellows. Like a fire. The horizon was so low it was almost like an escape. Grabbing her sketch pad and charcoal, she ran to the beach before dropping to her knees in the sand and starting yet another sunset. Trying to purge the hope from her broken mind.
·٠•● ●•٠·
“What the hell?” Linc whispered as Kenny ran out the door with what looked like drawing materials. Following her, they watched as she dropped to the ground and her hand worked furiously to draw whatever she was seeing.
With the sun kissing the horizon it left a glow around her, making her look angelic, almost peaceful. In that moment in time, she didn’t look like she wanted to crawl out of her skin and run away. She had a serene aura to her as she put the pad down and ran her fingers through the sand, looking towards the sky. He felt hope bloom in his chest for what could be but may never happen.
“Sit down Linc, she ain’t going nowhere,” Creed told him as he sat in one of the Adirondack chairs on her small back porch. Following suit, his eyes didn’t leave her.
“How are we gonna fix this, Creed? We didn’t even get to have her and yet, she feels like she’s already lost to us.”
“We’ll figure it out, man. We need to take things at her pace, though. Move when she moves. It’s like the tango, two steps forward, two steps back, and she’s leading the dance.” Listening to his brother explain so perfectly what they were going to do with her, he wasn’t sure how he felt about it, though. He knew it was going to be an uphill battle; there was no doubt about that. But they were going to have to watch her struggle through the emotions as they all moved forward together because they weren’t leaving her behind for anything.
She was it for them; he felt it in his bones. Over the past few months of not seeing her daily, he hadn’t realized how tense he’d been. But from the moment he was told she’d made contact, he felt like he could breathe for the first time again. Seeing her now, it was a breath of fresh air and he wasn’t sure she was ready for them. On their best days they were pushy and arrogant, on their worst they were complete assholes. He was afraid one or both would set her off. Trigger a bad memory or send her back to hell.
“She looks so peaceful.” Looking up at his brother’s words, he watched her again. She did look at peace. Sitting on the beach just at the water’s edge, she was gliding her hands over the water, creating a slight ripple before she smoothed it out. She reminded him of a graceful water nymph rising from the sea, her copper-red hair hanging down her back in loose waves, gently blown by the light breeze. Her ripped shorts and tank hugged her lithe body like a second skin. He’d never seen anything so beautiful… Or broken.
When she looked up at them, her eyes spoke volumes. Fear shone brightly. Whether it was fear of them or fear of what they represented, he wasn’t sure. There was something else he couldn’t quite figure out, but thought maybe it was hope. If she still had some hope, it was possible they could bring her back from the brink. Show her life was worth so much more than she’d been dealt.
They watched as she stood up, looking around at her surroundings like she expected something to jump out at her. That cracked his heart just a little bit. When she made no move to come closer, Creed stood up and walked slowly to her. He watched in fascination as she took in every move his brother made. From his steps to his hand movements and back up to his eyes.
She seemed to freeze the closer Creed got to her. When he was finally just a foot away, he stopped and waited. Linc wasn’t sure what for, but as she looked towards him, he got up and slowly walked to her too. Not taking his eyes off hers, he watched her face change expressions so often he could never identify anything more than the lingering fear in her eyes.
It felt like a make it or break it moment. Stopping beside Creed, she looked between the two of them, sizing them up, comparing them, their sizes, their differences. They were fraternal twins so they looked a lot alike but the most distinct differences were their eyes and hair color. Where he was lighter in hair and had light brown eyes, Creed had nearly black hair and his eyes were so dark blue they could almost be called black.
Linc had a scar that separated his right eyebrow too, and others along his body from various injuries over the years. Hell, so did Creed. He didn’t look forward to explaining those to her when she eventually saw them. She tried to act cool and aloof but he knew she would hurt for them. Little did she know they probably deserved them.
As the night grew darker, she seemed to draw more into herself as they had this strange stare-off. The change was magnificent and had she been a hardened soldier, he might have admired it. But she was young, broken, and she shouldn’t
have had that dead look in her eyes like she was expecting the enemy to come knocking on her door at any second.
“Sunshine,” he whispered. “Let’s get you inside.”
“You’re leaving?” she whispered so quietly he almost missed it.
“Only if you want us to,” Creed answered.
“Where are you staying?” she asked while they walked back to her villa.
They hadn’t figured that out yet. All they’d been concerned about was finding her. Realizing they may have to drive back to Rome pissed him off for two reasons— the first being they’d have to leave her. The second was having to drive another four fucking hours to that crazy-ass city.
“We’ll probably have to go back into Rome. I assume anything here would be closed by now.”
“Florence is only two hours away,” she suggested. Her voice sounded strained. Like the idea of being alone terrified her.
“I suppose—” Creed started when she interrupted him. “Or you could stay here. I don’t have an extra bed but one of you can take the couch and the other the floor.” Her words sounded rushed like she had to force herself to say them.
“Is that what you want, Sunshine?” Creed asked her gently.
Pondering his question, they watched as she fidgeted and the uncertainty entered her eyes before resolve hardened them. “For tonight anyway. It’s a long drive either way. I don’t want you to get in an accident or something.”
Following her inside they watched as she puttered around her tiny cabin, grabbing pillows and blankets, trying to make them as comfortable as possible. When she was left with nothing else to do, she stood at the bottom of the stairs to her loft looking ready to bolt. One foot on the bottom step and both hands holding the railing. She was tense as hell too. He couldn’t stand for her to be so uncertain around them.
“Go to bed Sunshine, we’ll be here if you need us,” Creed told her while handing Linc a pillow and blanket and pointing to the floor. He muttered asshole under his breath so only Creed could hear him. Kennedy nodded her head and ran up the stairs. “Jackass.”
“Not my fault your slow ass was frozen in place,” Creed dead-panned.
“Whatever,” he muttered.
They set about fixing up their beds for the night, quiet as possible, listening as Kenny moved around upstairs. When she finally quieted down, they both laid down— Creed on the couch and him on the floor.
·٠•● ●•٠·
She could hear them moving around below her. Not sure how to feel about inviting them to stay, she delayed laying down for as long as she could. Her body was tired but her mind was alive, and she didn’t fully understand why they were there. She wasn’t ready to go home yet, she still had a lot of healing to do, a lot of things to make sense of. Especially, her new place in the world as this fucked up little girl with the broken dreams.
For as long as she could remember she had wanted to be a clothing designer, even have her own line. Maybe open up a boutique with exclusive items. She’d been working her way towards it too. With her boss Bella’s help and expertise in the industry, she had felt like she was on her way to the top. Her ideas had been fresh and new. Nothing out there like it. She had loved making women feel beautiful in custom clothing tailored to them, no matter their size. Now, the thought of making someone else feel beautiful when all she felt was dirty and used left her nauseous. How was she supposed to get inspired when just the thought of anything beautiful had her skin crawling and her stomach revolting?
When she first left the hospital she had wanted to go somewhere peaceful yet beautiful, and Italy was what had come to mind. She didn’t regret her decision, not really. She’d always wanted to go to Milan to become a fashionista but when she got there, all the beautiful people surrounding her left her feeling disgusting. Like she would somehow taint them. So she turned back around, rented a car, grabbed a map, and drove until she found this tiny, little cove of Italy were it didn’t matter who you were or what you looked like. Everyone left her alone to do her own thing. She’d felt at peace… for a few days anyway.
When the nightmares started to intrude, she fought like hell. Even refused to sleep for a time. It wasn’t until she’d heard a woman who had a laugh so similar to her tormentor’s that she’d freaked out in the supermarket and was nearly arrested. That was how Deedee found her. She had pushed people back, told them she was scared in this new country.
Had she been at home in Texas people would have gawked, laughed even. Taken pictures of the freak of nature they’d encountered and posted them on YouTube the first chance they got. Not here, they didn’t care. No one took pictures and no videos had been uploaded online. In fact, some people had been so kind to offer her something to eat or drink. She’d been in awe of the generosity.
When Deedee had reached down and grabbed her hand to help her up, she vomited all over their shoes. She was so disgusted over the whole display that it took her two weeks to leave her house again. When she finally did, she discovered Deedee was her neighbor.
She’d asked, at first, what was wrong that day, why she freaked out. Kennedy hadn’t been able to answer nor look her in the eye for a week after that. She hated not being able to talk to anyone, to confide in her friends. The new woman she’d turned into was not a welcomed sight. The one with so many regrets in her life that it seemed like they just kept building higher and higher, and she felt like her two biggest ones were currently sleeping in her living room.
Had she met them before she was kidnapped and attacked, she’d have jumped all over the chance to get to know them but now, she knew they would destroy her. She couldn’t afford for that to happen again. When they left, and they would leave, she might not be able to handle it. They had the power to crush her and she had no way of stopping it.
·٠•● ●•٠·
Laying on Kenny’s couch listening to Linc roll around trying to get comfortable, his thoughts kept drifting to the woman upstairs. For as vulnerable as she was, he could see the steel in her eyes; the fight was still there. They just had to help bring it out of her. All Creed could think of was, only if they’d gotten there earlier. What if they hadn’t gone to New Mexico and instead, just called a contact they had there. Did they waste precious time? Could they have saved the girls sooner?
The questions kept playing in his mind. Non-stop. He never really considered himself a damsel rescuer, but as soon as he’d set sights on her, he’d been hooked. He wanted to take her pain away. He wanted to absorb the hurt inside himself, make her horrors his own, but he couldn’t. So now he was left trying to help piece her together again.
He and Linc had been on missions all over the world, saved countless lives, taken twice as many. Yet none of them meant as much as this one did. Making Kennedy see herself as they did was going to be their biggest hurdle, he thought.
As the hours passed, sleep refused to come and his mind kept drifting back to the day they’d enlisted in the Marines. The two of them always knew they were going to join the military in some way. After 9/11, they felt it was their duty and vowed to help the fight against terror at home and abroad. Growing up the way they did had left them both cold towards the world until they’d lucked out with one foster home who wanted to take them both when they were fourteen. To most they were troubled boys and too old to adopt. They’d always felt used like a commodity rather than two boys who’d been left in the cold, dark world alone.
They’d both been bitter, unapproachable according to one social worker, when they were sent to Marcia Bentley, a sweet fifty-year-old woman that just wanted to help troubled young children. Children she’d never been able to have. It took them two years before they finally realized what a gem she was, and it was only because some asshole neighbor had been harassing her about the ever-present apple tree in the back yard.
He complained because a few apples had fallen into his yard and he’d been sick of picking them up. One day he’d come to their home while they were in school and confronted Marcia about the tree
. When they returned that afternoon, it was to find her in tears because of the harsh things he’d said to her. She never did tell them what, but they’d both stormed over to the man’s house— Linc armed with needle-nosed pliers and him with a chainsaw. The fact that they let the man believe they were there to harm him with the tools was irrelevant; though, Linc might have implied he’d like to grip a particular appendage on the man with his pliers. Instead, they’d cut the part of the tree down that was crowding into his yard and fixed the bent chains on the fence.
The police had shown up a few hours later while they were eating dinner. Once Marcia explained that the neighbor had come over screaming and saying horrible things to her and that they’d gone over to trim back the tree and fix his fence, well, the police had made their neighbor feel like an ass. He’d never bothered her again.
Their relationship with Marcia had bloomed after that. They would talk to her about their days, about life before her, and help her more around the house. Once they realized she wasn’t dumping them the first chance she got, they treated her more and more like the mother they’d never really had. When she passed away six years ago, they’d made sure her every last wish was taken care of. All she wanted was for her house to be sold and the money donated to a local children’s shelter. They made sure it was done.
If it hadn’t been for her, he didn’t think either of them would be as willing to have the type of relationship that they were now. He still thought Kennedy could have changed them, but he didn’t think they’d have fought for it the way they were willing to now.
Six
Gripped in the throes of a nightmare, it was the first time her smooth, dark voices didn’t bring her back from the edge. Didn’t save her from the horrors of what happened. She’d foolishly believed they were her saving grace. Brought to her to keep any more harm from befalling her. How wrong she’d been.