by KL Donn
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When Linc had woken up to find Kenny gone from bed, his chest constricted and panic settled in his veins making them ice cold. He’d searched the room with his eyes frantically while shaking Creed awake. He’d never been so fucking terrified in his life.
Had she left?
Did they push her too hard by sleeping beside her?
How were they going to find her again?
The questions ran through his mind like a movie reel, never stopping on one thought long enough for it to take hold on the chance that she left and they’d set her back in her healing. At least until Creed smacked him upside the head and told him to get dressed, that he’d felt her get up and heard her making something in the kitchen. With that in mind, he’d turned on his other senses and realized he could smell coffee in the air. He was still pissed Creed hadn’t woken him, but the panic was gone.
Finding her on the back porch sitting in one of the chairs they’d watched her from the previous evening, he felt a moment of peace sweep over him. With their lives being what they were he’d never really given thought to settling down, but since meeting Kenny and finding her again, he’d felt a new sense of purpose take over his life. To make her theirs.
Stepping forward, he placed his hand on her shoulder making her jump when she looked back at him. The fear in her eyes brought him to her knees knowing he’d done that to her. Kennedy trying to reassure him that she was fine melted his heart a little bit, but when she placed her hand on his, he fell and fell hard. It was the first time she’d willingly touched anyone since her rescue, and for it to be him left him on a high better than any drug on the market.
Turning his hand over and twining their fingers together, Linc left them on her lap while getting up and sitting next to her, watching her through fresh eyes no longer jaded by life. Anything he had done wrong in his past had just been made right.
She was his beacon of hope. A light in which to follow when all else failed.
·٠•● ●•٠·
Just as he was about to step outside, his phone started vibrating in his pocket. Looking at the caller ID, Creed almost didn’t want to answer but knew Nate would just keep calling him before he started harassing Linc. The last thing he wanted was for Kenny to feel pressured by anyone.
“Yeah,” he answered shortly and mostly annoyed.
“You’re there? Is she ok? When is she coming home?” Nate rattled off question after question not letting him answer one before the next came.
Throwing his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose, he walked toward the front door before answering as he continued outside and down the driveway. “Yeah, we’re here. She’s alive and yup, the flight was great. Thanks for asking.”
“When is she coming home?” Of course, he would latch onto the one question he didn’t answer. He understood their need to see her but fuck was he gonna get pissed if they tried to rush her in any way.
Letting go of a deep sigh, he prepared to answer one of the hardest questions in his life. “Not anytime soon.”
He was met with silence before the explosion came.
“What the fuck do you mean not anytime soon?! She needs to fucking come home!” Nate yelled at him.
“Calm your fucking ass down, Nate, before I forget we’re friends and end this conversation.”
“Fuck. Yeah, alright. We’re just worried, Creed.” He could hear the worry and defeat in his friend’s voice. They knew there was nothing they could do for her right now, and that was not an easy thing to accept for a big brother; someone who should be able to protect her from anything.
“She’s healing. You guys all need to remember that this is worse than what any of you are feeling by not having her there. You’re living with the hope that she’ll return to the old her, the happy her, but Nate, you need to understand that’s not going to happen. That Kennedy is gone and she ain’t coming back. Until you guys accept that, she may never come home and if she does, she won’t feel comfortable around you all when you keep expecting her to do or say something that she would have a year ago.” He tried to lay it out there as gently as possible, but the truth of who she was now needed to be understood before she could become who she was meant to be.
Letting out a harsh breath, Nate finally answered after that sunk in. “I know. Shit, do I know. Mom, though? She keeps expecting the laughing and fun-loving Ken to show up. Our dads just look sad. It’s hard waiting to find out if your baby sister is dead or alive and knowing there’s not a damn thing we can do for her.”
“She’s getting there, man. She’s got a friend here that seems cool. She has little rituals. Things she does to calm her nerves when her mind takes over. You need to make your parents understand, though, that she is forever changed.” Thinking of the way she ran out to draw the sunset when she was overwhelmed the night before made him realize just how okay she would be. Which made convincing her brother that much easier.
“Fucking hell. I wish I could kill them all over again. Emily’s a fucking mess half the time and Keeley is full of hormones that I swear Ty and I are feeling more than her, and she’s ready to kill everyone that looks at her sideways now,” Nate groused to him.
“Sounds pretty fucking perfect to me.” Creed envied what Nate and Ty had with Keeley. He and Linc wanted that, but it was hard to see that kind of future when Kennedy was still so lost.
“It is man. I never dreamed we’d find her but we did, and I’m thankful everyday, but I can’t wait for this baby to come.” He could hear the smile in Nate’s voice. “Can I at least talk to Kenny? I just need to hear her voice, man.”
Not sure if she would even want to because she hadn’t made contact before the postcard, he told Nate he’d see what she had to say. Walking back to the house, he could tell Nate wasn’t happy with his answer but he refused to force her to do something she wasn’t ready for or didn’t want.
Slipping inside and going right to the back door, he knocked lightly on the frame so as not to scare her. “Sunshine,” he said gently.
When she turned to look at him, the peaceful expression vanished as soon as she saw the phone. Eyes glued to it, she didn’t even look at his face before she started shaking her head no, tears welling in her eyes, ready to slide down her creamy cheeks.
“Sunshine,” Creed sighed. “It’s Nate,” he told her, going to kneel in front of her. He laid the phone on her lap, her eyes followed the its movement as he said, “Kennedy.” Calling more firmly, making her look him in the eye before explaining, “He just wants to hear your voice, to know you’re here. That your ok.”
Shaking her head, she tried to explain, “They want the old Kennedy, though. They don’t know. They don’t understand. I heard everything all the time. The arguments, the crying, and praying. How they just wanted me back. But they don’t know me anymore. I don’t know me anymore. How can they possibly want that?”
“Christ, Sunshine.” Placing both his hands on her face Creed brought their heads closer, forehead to forehead, nose to nose. Looking into her eyes he told her simply, “They just want you. In any shape or form they can have you. They love you, Ken, never fucking doubt that.”
Grabbing the phone he placed it to her ear, not moving away as she broke down as soon as she said, “Nate?”
·٠•● ●•٠·
Hearing her brother with such emotion in his voice had her heart cramping from causing her family so much obvious grief.
“Kenny? Oh God, Ken, your voice, it’s like music to my ears! Are you ok?”
Not sure how to answer, she nodded her head as the tears started dripping out from her eyelids and down her cheeks. She watched in fascination as they landed on her curled up fists. She could hear Nate talking to her, telling her how much they missed her and hoped she’d come home soon, or maybe they could come there. As soon as he said that she knew she had to interrupt— she loved her family, but she wasn’t ready.
“I can’t, Nate. I just can’t.”
�
�What do you mean you can’t? Can’t what? Come home? That’s fine, we can come to you, Kenny.”
“No, Nate. You don’t understand. I’m not ready.” Trying to find the words so he would understand was harder than she thought. “I need to find me again. I love you guys with my entire heart and soul, but I can’t be around you right now. It’s just so hard. I have to figure out who I am now.”
“You can’t do that around us? We would never force you to do something you couldn’t, but Kenny, Mom and the dads are so worried about you; so are me and Ty. We can help if you’d just let us.” She knew they loved her and wanted to help but he just wasn’t getting it which was starting to make her angry.
“Nate, I need you to understand that I’m not that girl anymore. I don’t find pleasure in anything. I’m in a world of black when I used to live in the sunshine and color. I can’t see that anymore. I need for you to understand that this is what’s best for me. Maybe not for you guys, but for me this is right. I need to find my place in this world again and you guys would suffocate me with your need to fix me.” Out of breath, she waited for that to sink in.
“Kenny… We just want to see with our own eyes that you’re ok,” he kept insisting making her anger stronger.
“For fucks sake Nathaniel, listen to me!” she screamed, making Creed wince but he never moved. It was the strength he gave her that had her telling Nate, “I’m fighting a losing battle here. Every day is a struggle to wake up, and the last thing I need or want to do is pretend I’m fine to appease everyone. Because that’s what will happen, and then I’ll start losing myself again, Nate.” She sobbed out the last part before taking a deep breath and continuing on. “I nearly lost the fight, Nate. I need to do this for me. I have to find the new me now. I can be better when I do; I can live again. But you guys have to understand it could take time. Please understand, Nate.” She nearly begged for him to get it.
“I get you Kenny; I hear you. I don’t like it, but I get it. You call me, you hear? I wanna hear your voice, and when your ready, I wanna hear everything you have to tell me. You got it, kid?”
Fighting to talk around the huge lump in her throat, she managed to say, “I hear you, Nate.”
“I love you, kid. We all do. Now give the phone back to that grouchy bastard,” he said with more humor in his voice than she’d heard in too long.
Handing the phone to Creed, she closed her eyes relishing in the knowledge that Nate would understand and make her family come to terms with why she needed more time. When Creed didn’t pull away, she opened her eyes to see him watching her with such tenderness in his gaze as he hung up with Nate.
Smiling softly at him drew his gaze to her lips while he whispered, “So fucking proud of you, Sunshine.”
Before she could even think of a reply, his lips landed softly on hers. Lightly caressing, he seemed to savor her touch. When she didn’t pull away, he nipped her bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. As she closed her eyes and let out a breathy sigh, he delved into her mouth with his tongue, taking her on a languid and sensual ride of awakening.
She’d been kissed before but never had she had a boy take the time to taste her the way he was. He didn’t rush, he savored, explored. Took his time letting her explore him. When she tentatively touched her tongue to his, he let out a small, sultry moan.
As he deepened the kiss and took her to a place she’d never been, Kennedy felt like she was spinning out of control, her heart beating so fast it felt like it would explode. The blood in her veins was warmer than it had ever been, and her body practically vibrated in pleasure. But what she loved most was how he didn’t push her for more. He seemed to know her boundary and respect it as he slowed the kiss down to small nips and licks before pulling away completely and giving her the sexiest smirk she’d ever seen.
“Hi,” she whispered feeling silly.
“You’re beautiful when you smile, Sunshine,” he whispered back.
“Damn beautiful,” Linc purred in her ear from behind.
Turning her cheek to rub against his slightly scruffy one, she had a moment of clarity. This was her peace, her salvation, with these men she would find her redemption.
She felt stronger with them near. Like she could conquer anything. Now all she had to do was beat down her fears and slay her own dragons. Because as much as she knew these two men would do it for her, she needed to do it for herself and that couldn’t be done hiding behind them.
Seven
The change in her demeanor was magnificent. The most exquisite sight Linc had ever seen. He wondered what changed it. The last few days she’d opened up to them, told them of the things she liked to do and what she hated. That she no longer wanted to be a designer, and that while she mourned the loss of that passion she felt like she was meant for something bigger.
They hadn’t shared her bed since that first night, not wanting to push her more than she was ready, but they often heard her moaning or whimpering. She never called out again, though, so they weren’t sure about waking her. As she came down the stairs in the early morning sun, dressed in a pair polka dot leggings and a long flannel shirt matched with black UGGS, her hair up in a messy knot of fire on her head, he’d never seen a more beautiful sight. Her face clean of makeup so he noticed a few freckles spread across the bridge of her nose and spreading out under her eyes. It made her look young, almost too young.
For the first time since meeting her, Linc worried that maybe she was too young for them. She had her whole life ahead of her and they were slightly jaded and mostly set in their ways. What if they just brought her down even more? Made her more cynical about the world.
“Deep thoughts, Lincoln?” she asked as she passed his reclining form on the couch, going straight for the coffee pot that had just finished percolating. Such was her morning routine he’d noticed.
“Nah, just… pondering.”
“Pondering what?”
“Life?” He half joked because it was true, he was. Just not what she probably expected. “Going somewhere?” he asked before she could question him further.
“I am,” she answered hesitantly. As if she didn’t want him to know where.
“Let me get sleeping beauty here up and dressed and we’ll come with,” he tried to suggest, not wanting her out of sight.
“Ummm, that’s ok. This is kind of something I do alone.” Avoiding his eyes while telling him that only piqued his interest more.
“Where?” Simple question but totally loaded too.
He watched as she walked to the door, coffee and purse in one hand, keys in the other ready to open it and walk out. “Florence,” she told him, stunning him long enough to give a small wave and slip out before he could react.
“What the fuck do you need to go to Florence for?” he yelled knowing she wouldn’t hear him but needing to get it out.
“Who the fuck’s going to Florence at this ungodly hour?” Creed asked crankily from the floor.
“Kennedy,” he growled out.
Yeah, that got the fucker moving quickly. Straight out the front door in nothing but his boxers.
Laughing, Linc threw on some sweats and grabbed a pair for Creed, following him out in his bare feet. Seeing them toe to toe was a sight he wouldn’t soon forget.
Creed was six plus feet of muscles packed on muscles, covered in tattoos while Kenny was much smaller and softer. The contrast in their sizes was a huge turn-on and seeing her fired up, an angry blush working its way up her cheeks made his cock ache and throb.
When she poked Creed in the chest making him loom over her more, he could hear the threatening grunt of frustration escape his brother as she continued to tell him why it was none of their business why she was going.
“That’s where your wrong, Sunshine. Everything about you is our business. Now, why the fuck do you need to go to Florence at six in the fucking morning?” Creed bellowed.
Slowly coming up to them he tossed the pants on Creed’s head, making him shoot a look that would ha
ve made lesser men cower but he laughed it off. Seeing Kenny try to cover a laugh brought a big fucking smile to his face though. Didn’t matter how pissed or frustrated either of them were, anytime she smiled they melted.
Sadly, she fucking knew it too.
One day, though, it wouldn’t work.
Today he could tell was not that day as Creed dropped his head to his chest letting out a frustrated growl before looking to the sky as if in prayer.
“Woman,” Creed growled low in his throat.
“You growl a lot,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, poke the bear that’s a good idea,” Linc teased, making them both glare at him. Raising his hands in surrender he left them to it, thoroughly enjoying the show as she displayed more and more of her true colors. It was a sight to behold.
Watching closely he saw she was shaking, whether in anger, amusement, or fear he couldn’t be certain. So to avoid any sort of meltdown he stepped behind her, grabbing her hips and dragging her a few steps back with him.
“Sunshine,” he started to whisper.
“Lincoln,” she shot back, voice laced in frustration.
“Please help us understand.” He was trying to reason with her. “We just want to know what’s so important that you have to leave so early is all.”
She didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Her eyes seemed to study the mass of tattoos on Creed’s chest, either that or she was admiring him. He didn’t care as long as she didn’t run screaming. Clearing her throat, she finally admitted, “I have an appointment I can’t miss.”
“Appointment for what?” Creed jumped on her before he could say anything.
Shooting daggers at his brother, Linc tried to make it sound less like a demand. “What my eloquence-challenged brother is trying to ask is, why so early?”