by KL Donn
“She’s right,” Linc stated.
“Especially for Linc and I.”
She could almost hear the wheels cranking in his mind. He was thinking about it, which told them both far more than if he were to speak the words aloud.
Nuzzling his face into her neck, he seemed to breathe her in squeezing her tighter to him. He told her, “You’re right.” Nothing more.
Wanting to ease some more of their stress she told them both, “I still need counselling.” It’s what they’d been talking about before she’d come downstairs but they’d been afraid to bring it up to her. She understood, it took a lot for her to seek help out in the first place.
He kissed her neck before asking her, “You wanna tell us about that nightmare? You had us both scared, Sunshine.”
Slipping out of his arms she sat on the top step, gazing at the small field and barn not far off. Thinking about her dream brought her fears to life. She knew that in order to exorcize them she would have to speak about it, but the way she felt in that time was not something she wanted to relive.
“I was back in that cabin again,” she started. She could almost feel them leaning closer without even looking. “Chained to a wall by that woman. God, she was so horrible. The weird thing was, I was there as another me instead.” Kennedy still wasn’t sure what had happened, but it had felt so real.
“Like an out of body experience, you know?” Turning, she looked at them needing them to understand what she herself didn’t. “I was watching it all in technicolor. I tried so hard to will myself to not give up, to fight back. But I just laid there, uselessly. I never said anything. I just took it, took everything she dished out.” Tears started tracking down her cheeks in memory.
“When that me would pass out from pain, though, so would I. I’d only wake up when she started torturing me again. Strangely this time, each injury was on my real body and my dream one. It was terrifying.”
“Sunshine,” Linc whispered, probably not knowing whether to tell her she was crazy or not. “I can’t even imagine.”
“I hope you never do, Linc,” she told him solemnly.
“What else happened, Kennedy?” Creed asked her. His face was full of anger for her and what she went through.
“Emily,” she smiled thinking of how her friend taunted them. “She was so brave and strong. She taunted them so they’d leave me alone. I wanted to smack her so hard for doing it. We both didn’t need to be hurt, but she wouldn’t stop. It bothered them when she would laugh each time one of her insults would hit the intended mark.”
Looking down at her hands, she remembered the fear when Emily had kicked the woman and she impaled herself on the knife she’d been torturing Kenny with. “When he rolled that woman over after Emily kicked her, I wanted to laugh so hard but I was scared. I was terrified because I was already so weak and knew I couldn’t stand much more from them. But Emily, God, Emily. You know what she did? She smirked at him. Smirked!” She remembered it so clearly. She’d been cheering her on in her own head while wanting to throttle her for making her their target.
“She told us about that. How you begged her not to do anything because you didn’t want her to get hurt too. She also told us she wished she’d been the one on that table,” Creed pointed out to her.
Shaking her head, she was glad it was her and not Emily and she said so. “No, it couldn’t have been her. Emily was already so fragile because of them. She didn’t deserve more of their sadism.”
“And you did?” Linc asked her angrily. She was taken aback by his tone.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t have to. I can hear it your voice,” he growled.
Looking to Creed for help, he looked just as angry as Linc if not more so. “She was stalked for two years. Her pain was supposed to end when she went to my brothers, not get worse!” Her emotions were all over the place now. She was angry because they were angry. She was angry because they were right.
It was her fault.
If she hadn’t insisted on Emily going shopping with her or screwing around with her bodyguards, they neve would have been caught unaware. But she did, and now she must pay the price.
“Don’t even fucking try it, Kennedy,” Creed growled at her.
Her eyes shot to his intense ones in question.
“I can see it on your face. You’re trying to blame yourself. What I’d like to know is what the fuck for?”
“Because it is my fault, I begged her to go with me. Dane and Cooper kept telling her no. Repeatedly, they demanded she stay home. So no, I don’t think she should have suffered anymore because I’m a selfish bitch!” She screamed at them, storming past their shocked faces and into the house.
She ran upstairs in search of clothes and the bathroom. Bursting through the doors, she stomped into the room. Finding some clothes in the closet, she quickly got dressed. Running back down the stairs, she slipped her shoes on just as Creed and Linc were coming in through the back arguing.
Not sticking around long enough for them to stop her, she ran out the front door slamming it behind her. She started a slow jog down the driveway towards the rural road. They’d said it was just three miles from her parent’s house.
She needed to see if her parents still had her car.
She had a trip to make.
·٠•● ●•٠·
“What the hell?” Hearing the door slam had him and Linc running for it. Throwing it open so hard it bounced back off the wall, they caught a glimpse of Kenny’s back as she ran down the driveway.
“What the fuck does she think she’s doing?” Linc growled as they tossed their own shoes on.
Running after her Creed tried calling her name. “Kennedy!”
She ran faster.
“Fuck sakes, Kennedy. What are you doing?” Linc yelled to her then whispered to Creed, “She’s fucking fast, man.”
He laughed. Full-on belly laughed. It was inappropriate for the moment but he found it to be more hysterical than anything he’d heard in a long time. He had a hard time catching his breath enough to keep up with her because Linc was right; she was fucking quick for such a tiny thing.
Finally, meeting her at the end of the drive Linc stood behind her, hands on her hips while he stood in front. For a while, he watched as her chest heaved in and out with her heavy breaths. She wouldn’t look at him, refused to meet his eyes even when he bent down to her level.
Lifting his hands up, Creed started running his fingers through her hair soothingly. He never wanted her to blame herself for what had happened. He had been trying to make her understand that nothing could have changed the outcome aside from Emily not going to her brothers or by now, she’d have been dead.
But instead of understanding, she carried the guilt on her shoulders for what happened to them. It was true that Emily got off scot-free physically, but mentally, she still struggled with her own guilt. With the horror of hearing and seeing what was done to Kennedy.
Everyone involved bore their own scars from that time, but the guilt and blame were solely on their captors, nowhere else.
“Kennedy,” he growled when she still wouldn’t look at him. “I have all day, Sunshine.” His patience was wearing thin, though.
“Where did you think you were going?” Linc questioned softly from behind her.
She shook her head so what hair he didn’t have in his hands floated in front of her to hide her face. “I wanted to…” Clearing her throat she started over softly, “I need to go back.”
“Go back? Go back where, Kennedy?” he asked confused.
“The cabin.”
Two words.
Two simple words and he was frozen in terror. He could see Linc was too. He tried to process why she would want to go back there. What could possibly be there other than bad memories and pain. He couldn’t see it. They’d promised her once that they would give her the world and save her from any pain, including her family. Not once did he imagine they would have to save her from herself
.
“No,” he told her sharply.
She finally made eye contact, shooting him a death glare. He was unaffected. He wouldn’t budge on this and the sooner she realized it, the better off she’d be.
“What do you mean, no?” she snarled shocking them both with the venom in her voice. Shooting his brother a quick look, he saw Linc was just as shocked and confused as he was.
“I mean, you’re not going. We won’t let you. There’s nothing there for you, Sunshine.” He was trying to make her understand how damaging it could be to her peace of mind.
“You won’t let me?” Why did that sound like a dare? He wondered.
“Kennedy, that could be incredibly traumatic. You don’t need to be there,” Linc tried reasoning with her while he was about ready to lose his cool.
“You don’t understand; I need to go. I need to figure out what happened, and I can’t ask them ‘cause they’re dead. I have nothing left from then. I just… need to.” Tears welled in her eyes.
Motherfucker, he thought looking to his brother. They both knew they were screwed with that look. She was about to get what she wanted and damn the consequences apparently.
“I will tie you to the bed,” he tried again.
“Lock you in a closet,” Linc tried too.
She looked between them with a look that said, yeah, I’ve won. Suckers.
He wasn’t pleased.
Twenty
An hour later and they were on their way back to Bay City. To where it all began. She’d be lying if she didn’t admit she was terrified of what would happen. Logically, she knew she was safe and that Linc and Creed wouldn’t let anything to happen to her. But her subconscious was terrified she’d be sucked back into the whirlwind of hell and pain she was in months ago.
The drive was quiet with light country music playing in the background. They were pissed off at her and she understood. They didn’t want to see her in pain and going back to where her suffering began very well might do it to her. She was in desperate need of closure, though. She had no idea how else to get it.
It was like there was a gaping hole inside her that left her with a dozen questions and no answers. She knew what they‘d told her, but she still felt like they were leaving something out. That there was something she was missing; she just couldn’t figure it out.
Leaning between the front seats, she told them quietly, “I’m sorry.”
With her head down, she was afraid to see something in their eyes that would break her heart. She couldn’t look at them. Couldn’t handle the hurt it would cause if they were disappointed in her.
A gentle finger under her chin had her eyes lifting to meet Linc’s chocolate brown ones. They held worry and love for her but nothing else. When he went to speak, she kissed him.
She didn’t initiate contact often so they knew when she did to let her roll with it. It was a simple meeting of lips. Sticky sweet with all the love she could give him. It was important he know more than words could say that she got it.
Pulling back slowly, she gasped when he slid a hand into her hair pulling her back for more. Slamming his lips against hers again he took control, melting any resistance away immediately. It was a stamp of ownership from him.
A promise for a future of more.
“No need for apologies, Kennedy,” he whispered against her lips. “We just want you safe and happy, Sunshine.” With a smile he pulled away, never breaking eye contact.
Sitting back in her seat, she looked up to see Creed watching her in the rearview mirror. Want and need reflected back at her. Sitting up a little higher, she mouthed, ”I fucking love you,” to him. His smile and mouthed words back to her told her they would be ok.
·٠•● ●•٠·
As they hit a dirt road, Kennedy awoke from the sleep-like state she’d been in for nearly two hours of their drive. She hadn’t been awake nor had she been asleep, it was like somewhere in between the two where she was resting but aware of her surroundings. Sitting up, she asked, “Are we almost there?”, in a small voice.
“Couple more minutes,” Creed answered her. His voice tense.
She sat rigid in her seat staring out the window. Watching as the trees went by, wondering how they could have found them with the forest so thick with brush. They drove a few more minutes down a long, winding road full of pot holes and rocks.
How did I never wake up? She wondered. She knew they’d been drugged, but the road was so bad. “Was the road always this bad?” she asked.
The guys shared a look she couldn’t decipher before Linc cleared his throat answering her, “No. It used to be paved. The county put gravel along it to discourage people from coming down here,” he explained to her.
“Before or after?” She whispered her question dreading the answer.
“After.”
Of course. No one cares about an abandoned property until after something bad happens, she thought bitterly. It pissed her off and made her wonder how many other heinous things happened before her.
Creed started slowing the vehicle as they approached where her nightmare began. Unable to see it until she was ready, she closed her eyes tight and dropped her head, her hands fidgeting in her lap. When the vehicle came to a complete stop, she heard Linc and Creed get out, feeling the weight of the vehicle shift as they did. When they each opened the doors on either side of her, she shook her head.
She needed to be here; she knew that. Didn’t mean it would be easy for her, though. She slowed her breathing, trying to calm her erratic heartbeat.
A hand grabbing onto each of hers had her eyes opening to small slits. Peering out from beneath her hair she saw them on either side of her, not forcing her to do anything. Silently lending her the strength she needed.
“Whenever you’re ready,” Linc told her.
“Or we could leave,” Creed suggested. She knew he hated the idea of her even being here. She wasn’t even sure what the point was. It just felt like she should see the place where she lost such a huge part of herself.
Nodding her head, she slipped out on Linc’s side. Grabbing his hands in what she was sure was a death grip, she took a few deep breaths before opening her eyes. Looking into his she saw the support there as well as the worry. It was the understanding in their depths that was nearly her undoing.
Turning to look in the direction of the cabin, Creed obscured her view as he walked in front of her. “You don’t have to do this,” he told her again.
“I do, though.” She tried explaining why it was so important. “I lost a huge part of who I was here. I’ll never get it back; I know that.” She took a breath, finally realizing just why she had to come. “I have to say goodbye to her.”
So many emotions flitted across his strong features before settling on resignation and understanding. He finally got it, though. This was where she needed to let go so she could truly move forward with her life.
When he moved, her eyes followed him before she looked to the spot that had been hidden behind his wide shoulders. Shock rushed through her.
There was nothing there. The entire cabin was gone save for the remnants of what was a fireplace. Charred materials lay where the building should have been.
“What happened?” she asked.
“A few weeks after you left it burnt to the ground,” Linc explained. There was something in his voice though that she couldn’t place. Not quite guilt or regret, but maybe gloating?
“You did this?” She looked at him. Knowing he’d never say the words but his eyes would tell her. In them, she saw the answer.
Not sure how she felt she walked around the rubble, not actually able to walk where the building was because her chest got tight when she tried.
·٠•● ●•٠·
Linc stood beside his brother and watched in dread as Kennedy walked around the pile of rubble he’d burned to the ground months ago. He’d been pissed off they couldn’t find her, and at one point they’d been terrified she’d come back here so he’d come looki
ng and had been so angry with how many people had been here.
When he’d arrived that day, two cars were leaving. Both filled with a bunch of moronic teenagers out for a quick thrill. They had no idea of the violence that had happened or the lives ruined. They knew nothing and he’d been pissed that the property hadn’t been condemned or boarded up in some way.
He knew now that it was irrational. But then? It hadn’t been very long, and he’d been very pissed. He’d done a quick search of the property to make sure no one was there, and set a slow burn on the inside of the house so it went up in flames long after he’d left.
Kennedy’s brothers had gotten a call about it, but no one suspected it was him until Creed had talked to him about it. He didn’t deny nor confirm he’d been there, but it was answer enough for his brother. He’d clapped him on the back and walked away.
Here they were again, only this time in search of healing instead of a rescue. He still felt the same amount of angst now as he did then but for different reasons. He didn’t like what being here was going to do to her.
“You did this for me?” She stared at them from the other side of the charred remnants. Like she needed the distance from them for clarification.
At Linc’s nod, she looked around as if seeking answers to something.
“But you didn’t even know me?” Her voice was full of agony.
“I didn’t need to know you to know this place shouldn’t exist anymore, Kennedy.”
“I don’t understand.” She was genuinely perplexed at their depth of feelings for her.
“A lot was lost that day, Kennedy. No one needed a reminder of it.”
“I do!” she screamed at him.
It was their turn to be confused. “Why?” Creed asked her.
Her wild eyes turned to them and she seemed baffled by his question for a moment. “Because I deserved this. It was my fault, all of it. I’m so spoiled that I couldn’t listen to sound advice. All I cared about was having someone to go shopping with me. I DESERVED THIS!” She screamed louder this time, dropping to her knees.