‘He was one of Abigail’s friends…’ Ashley screwed up her nose. ‘An ex, I think.’
‘Abigail!’ Sue huffed. ‘I might have known – the friend who always managed to get you into trouble. Whatever happened to her anyway?’
Ashley shrugged, glad to have put her mum off the scent for now. ‘I think she was running her own beauty consultancy last time I saw her.’
‘Ditched you quick enough when you were expecting Molly. In your hour of need! I’d give her a piece of my mind if I ever saw her in town.’
‘Then it’s probably a good thing you don’t often go to town. Anyway, it wasn’t like that. We just drifted apart. She was never the maternal type so what would we have done together when I was always going to have a baby in tow? We could hardly go clubbing.’
‘That’s not what friendships are built on – clubbing!’
‘I know, but I really don’t blame her and you shouldn’t either.’
‘So they split up?’ Sue said.
‘Who?’
‘The bloke you met today and Abigail?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t remember. Does it matter?’
‘Well, yes. We don’t want Molly spending time with him and his daughter if he’s a bad ’un.’
And then it struck Ashley like an icy slap in the face. Why hadn’t she seen it before? She caught her breath and Sue threw her a sharp look.
Molly had been messing around on the beach that day with her sister!
‘What’s the matter now?’ Sue asked.
‘I… you’re right,’ Ashley replied. ‘Maybe Molly shouldn’t spend time with that girl.’
‘Ella?’
‘Yes, her.’
‘So he’s not nice?’
‘No… I don’t remember exactly. But we don’t know anything about them, and we’re being very friendly very quickly.’
‘You don’t like the girl? Molly’s quite smitten – Bastien too. They had a great time together today.’
‘I know, but…’
Oh, this was hopeless! What a hopeless, tangled mess! It was getting worse by the minute. If only she hadn’t felt guilty letting Molly go to the beach without her. If only she hadn’t offered to accompany Maurice down to join them instead of catching a sneaky hour in bed she’d have been oblivious to Haydon’s presence in Saint-Raphaël and she wouldn’t have had to worry about the girl who was currently Molly’s holiday buddy. She wouldn’t have to suffer this searing guilt that Molly was casually chatting to her father and had no idea, and that she was swimming with her half-sister and had no idea about that either.
If she put a stop to things now, Molly would want to know why she couldn’t spend time with Ella, and everyone else would want to as well. How would Ashley be able to explain her decision? Unless she painted a very bad picture of Haydon – and as much as Molly and Ella being together without a clue of their real relationship was a dreadful situation, Ella didn’t deserve that, even if he did. Today she’d seen that Ella enjoyed Molly’s company as much as Molly enjoyed hers. Molly even seemed to have taken an instant shine to Haydon, especially when he announced that he was a cello teacher. A bloody cello teacher! At least it explained Molly’s odd pull to play a string instrument herself. Talk about a cliché!
They’d done nothing but rattle on about orchestras and music schools for an hour as lunch was shared on the sand, and all the time Ashley sat wondering how he’d react if only he knew what she knew. Because, despite his shock at seeing Ashley – and it was obvious shock – he didn’t seem to show any suspicion about Molly at all. Maths clearly wasn’t his strong point, because he didn’t even flinch when Molly told him her age. Typical bloke – it might have saved Ashley a lot of indecision if he’d worked it out. Molly had told him about the music school that she’d applied to and he’d gushed about how good it was, and how much she’d love it there, unaware of how much pain that dream had caused them, and how out of reach it was. Ashley had watched, her heart sinking further and further, as Molly’s eyes shone with renewed hope for a dream they couldn’t possibly afford. Would he have been quite so keen to sing its praises if Ashley had asked him to pay the fees? For a crazy second she’d thought about it, just to see his reaction.
She could tell Haydon the truth, of course, and she probably should. But then what? She wasn’t sure she was strong enough for what the truth might begin. Would he demand to be a part of their lives? Would he want access, regular visits? Would he want to be a part of the decisions she made about Molly’s upbringing? Worse still, would he want nothing to do with them at all?
No, Ashley decided, right now silence was the best policy. The status quo was far from ideal but it was the best option she had. So they would carry on as before, and Haydon didn’t need to know about Molly. It was only a week, after all, and then Molly would be home and beginning the new term of her music course at college, and she’d soon forget about the kid she’d hung around with on holiday. Things would continue as they always had.
‘Well, if Molly likes her then I don’t suppose we can stand in the way of that,’ she said lamely.
‘Make up your mind,’ Sue said. She stood up. ‘I can’t work you out today. Do you think you’re coming down with something, because you’re behaving very oddly.’
‘I don’t think so. I’m just tired – didn’t sleep that well last night. I never do in strange places, do I?’
‘Well, that’s true,’ Sue said, casting a critical eye over her. ‘So there’s nothing you need to share with me? Nothing I should know apart from you being tired?’
Ashley shook her head. ‘Ignore me – I’ll be OK tomorrow.’
‘I’m going inside. Blanche and Nanette are going to teach me how to play some French board game. Want to join in?’
‘Not just yet. Maybe later. Where’s Moll?’
‘Upstairs with Bastien.’
Ashley shot up in her seat. Sue chortled.
‘Maurice is with them – Molly has found an old violin and she’s showing off so you don’t need to worry that there’s hanky-panky.’
Sue’s chuckle turned into a vague frown as she surveyed Ashley, and Ashley half expected her to remind her that Molly was nowhere near as stupid as Ashley had been as a teenager. But it never came.
‘Right,’ Ashley said. ‘I’ll be in soon.’
‘And perhaps you’d like to leave your funny mood out here if there’s nothing wrong as you keep saying.’
‘I will.’
Ashley took a deep breath as Sue disappeared into the house. Leave her funny mood outside? How about leaving her funny life outside? If only.
A glorious morning streamed into the room through a gap in the curtains of one of Madame Dupont’s many guestrooms. Outside a sweet symphony of birdsong harmonised with the drowsy buzz of a bee somewhere close to the window and the coarse yap of a dog in a distant garden. Ashley turned over to see that Molly was still fast asleep in the bed at the other side of the room. A little silver alarm clock – bells on the top and a tick loud enough to wake her workmates back in York – sat on the bedside cabinet and showed it had just gone six a.m. So much for getting some extra rest – this was earlier than she’d get up at home unless she was on morning shift at the care home. She’d blame her early waking on the noise outside, but it would be unfair, because if the room hadn’t been so dark overnight she’d have seen the clock displaying every other hour of the night; she was pretty certain she’d been awake for all of them. But she’d come to a decision, and now there was just the agonising wait to act on it.
She had to tell Haydon about Molly. It was only fair and right. Before, when she’d had no idea where to find him, she owed him nothing. But now she couldn’t let him leave here at the end of the week not knowing that he’d spent it with his daughter, not knowing that he even had another daughter at all. Already he’d missed sixteen years of her life and she owed it to him, regardless of how she felt personally about it, to give him the chance t
o be a part of it now if he wanted to. She had to tell Molly too at some point, but it was too difficult to think about that right now. One problem at a time was as much as she could deal with. She’d tell Haydon, and she’d see his reaction, and then she’d decide if Molly really needed to know or whether she’d be better off in blissful ignorance.
It was still so hard to believe that he was here, in the same town at the same time as her, after all these years. A figure from her past who had been absent from her life so long she’d almost fooled herself into thinking he’d never really existed. Why now? Why here? Was there some significance, some higher plan? Or was it really just the dumbest of luck? Bad luck, she’d argue. Certainly yesterday when the shock had been fresh and raw. But now? How did she feel about it now? Was it bad luck? Was there just a chance – the slimmest of all hopes – that seeing him again like this could become the start of something good? That maybe what went wrong all those years ago could be put right? Would him knowing about Molly change everything? Or anything at all?
After seeing him yesterday, the way he was with Ella, she couldn’t believe that he was the villain she’d convinced herself he was. He’d been patient and understanding and full of such obvious pride. Ashley wanted him to look at Molly the way he looked at Ella; she wanted it for Molly with all her heart. And she wanted Molly to have a man who could guide her and protect her in the way he guided and protected Ella. Ashley had always been father and mother and she’d never resented it, certainly never felt the need for anything else, but that was before she’d had a choice. How about now? Now perhaps there was a choice. Perhaps. It all came down to Ashley’s courage. She could do the right thing, however hard, and tell him. Or she could let him slip away again, and this time she was certain it would be for good.
Slipping a satin robe around her shoulders to stave off the early-morning chill, Ashley crept from the bedroom and downstairs. Violette had a heavy old kettle that had to be boiled on a gas hob, but Ashley reckoned she could cope with it. If she could only find a teabag lurking somewhere that would be perfect. Only three days without it and already she was missing her morning cup of tea. The kitchen was strangely silent and vast emptied of the crowds of relatives that Ashley had grown used to seeing in there since she’d arrived. Once this must have been a lovely family home, before they’d all moved away, and Violette must have felt she’d been transported back in time to see it full of relatives again. Ashley liked her very much. In fact, she liked them all. Her own family was very sparse in comparison. What sort of family did Haydon have? Were there lots of aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters?
Ashley filled the kettle, set it to boil after struggling with a strange flint contraption that lit the stove and found a caddy with a few odd-looking teabags in it. She wasn’t sure what sort of tea it was, but it would have to do for now. Later she’d go to the market in the old town and get some proper tea if she could. Was that before or after she went to see Haydon and blew his world apart? Was that before or after they told Molly and Ella? She supposed he would want to tell Ella if they were telling Molly, but who knew how it would go? And how would the girls react? Talk about a bombshell.
‘Is there enough water in that kettle for me?’
Ashley whipped around to see her mum at the kitchen door. ‘Mum? What are you doing out of bed at this hour?’
‘I could ask you the same thing.’
‘I couldn’t get back to sleep once I woke up.’
‘Me neither. Maurice may have the voice of an angel but he has the snore of a haulage truck and wine only makes it worse.’ She peered over at the caddy Ashley was holding. ‘What’s in there?’
Ashley opened it up and showed her the contents. Sue grimaced. ‘You weren’t going to drink those, were you?’
‘I couldn’t find anything else.’
Sue went to a large wooden larder set in the wall and stepped inside. After a moment or two of rifling she appeared with a box.
‘This is more like it. God only knows what’s in those you have there but I’d rather drink something I know.’
‘They’re proper teabags?’
‘Of course. Usually they have this awful tinny stuff here but I fetched these over with me from England when we came to visit last year and they’ll still be good to drink.’
‘Mum, you’re a lifesaver!’
‘I know. So what woke you?’
‘Don’t know. Just woke up.’
‘Because you were in a strange mood yesterday. After you came back from the beach. And Maurice said it too. He said… Never mind.’
Ashley took the box of teabags from her mum and dropped two into a little teapot. Violette didn’t seem to be a mug fan so it was all delicate china cups and saucers. You couldn’t get a decent vat of tea in a cup and saucer so the pot would have to do for a few refills. There was a brief lull while they listened to the kettle bubble on the stove, and then Sue spoke again.
‘I’m worried about you.’
‘There’s no need,’ Ashley replied, her gaze trained on the kettle. If she looked her mum in the eye she’d crumble.
‘I’m your mother. I’m going to worry if I think something is wrong. And I’d like to think that you could tell me anything. If you can’t then I’ve failed in my one most important task as a parent.’
‘Of course I can tell you anything. Haven’t I always?’ Ashley almost looked for the lightning bolt to come through the ceiling and strike her down as she uttered the lie.
‘So what’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Ashley…’
Ashley looked up now to see her mother’s brow contracted into a frown. She let out a long sigh.
‘Am I going to regret this?’
‘Depends what it is.’
‘See, Mum… how can I tell you?’
‘Tell me what?’
‘Maurice was right when he said I’d overreacted to Haydon’s appearance yesterday. That’s because…’
‘He’s Molly’s dad,’ Sue finished for her. ‘I’m right, aren’t I?’
Her mouth was a hard line as she stared at Ashley, willing the truth from her. Ashley hadn’t even meant to let this out – not this soon and not in this way. But it had been so hard to keep a lid on things, and the truth had just sort of forced its way out, like it needed daylight and air before it became something gnarled and sinister that would choke Ashley if she kept it in. And when she thought about it, perhaps the best person she could tell first was her mum. She needed support now, someone on her side while she figured out what to do next, someone to share the burden. Who better than her mum?
She gave a weak nod and collapsed into a nearby chair. For the past twelve hours or more she’d been running on adrenaline, trying to keep it together, and now that her secret was out the adrenaline ebbed away, taking her strength with it.
‘Does Molly know?’
‘Of course not! Don’t you think she’d be freaking out if she did? They spent the day together at the beach, for God’s sake!’
‘I know. Don’t you think she’s going to feel terribly duped when she finds out exactly that?’
‘No more than everyone else,’ Ashley said miserably.
‘I take it he doesn’t know.’
Ashley didn’t need to ask who he was, especially when the word had been uttered with such venom.
‘How could he? I never saw him again after that one night and he couldn’t have known I was pregnant.’
‘Bastard.’
‘Mum… you’re not going to do anything rash, are you?’
‘It’s not my place, but I would hope you are. You’re going to tell him?’
‘I think so.’
‘You think so? What’s wrong with you?’
‘Keep your voice down!’ Ashley pleaded. ‘You’ll wake the whole bloody house!’
‘You’re going to tell him! You can’t let him get away from his responsibilities a second time. If you don’t I’m going to march over there this morning and put
things right.’
‘I will… I just need to work out how to do it.’
‘There’s nothing to work out. You just come out with it – it’s really quite simple.’
‘It’s delicate. There’s more than just me and him to think about. How will Molly react? And his daughter?’
‘I couldn’t give a tinker’s cuss about his daughter.’
‘You don’t mean that. All I’m saying is that there are more lives affected by this than just his. I don’t want to cock this up, Mum. I’ve got one shot to get it right and I have to get it right. Please don’t say anything to anyone else yet – not even Maurice. I will tell him, but I have to find the right moment.’
Sue let out a sigh. ‘Well, it’s a mess.’
‘You could say that,’ Ashley replied with a thin smile. ‘I wish I’d never come to this bloody party. I might have known it would go to pot – story of my life. From now on there’s no clubbing and no parties and no enjoyment of any kind.’
Sue turned the stove off and filled the teapot. ‘When are you going to see him?’
‘Later. When I’ve psyched myself up.’
The Summer Getaway_A feel-good romance novel perfect for holiday reading Page 10