“No, Rose. She didn’t destroy you. You’re a fighter. That’s one of the things I admire most about you. No matter what happens, you pick yourself up and go on.” He leaned over and caressed the side of my face. “It’s okay to be angry with him. You should be.”
“Maybe he deserves it, but why am I so angry with her?”
“Who?”
“Dora.”
His eyes widened slightly.
“I know she couldn’t help dying. But I’m just so mad. What kind of person does that make me?”
“It makes you human. I’m not a saint and neither are you. Your childhood sucked. Your mother was a terrible bitch and I wish to God that I could go back in time to file child abuse charges against her. But I’d like to think you’re partially the person you are today because of her. Whether she meant to or not, she made you into the strong woman you are.”
“But that doesn’t excuse my anger at Dora.” My voice broke as tears trailed down my cheeks. “She couldn’t help dying, so how can I be angry with her?”
“Because her death sentenced you to that horrible life. I don’t think you’re angry with her, Rose. I think you’re angry at her death.”
I burst into tears and he pulled me close, his arms tightening around my back as I laid my cheek against his chest. He didn’t say anything; he just held me as I cried. When I finally got a hold of myself, I wiped at the wet spot on his shirt and smiled, my chin quivering. “What did I tell you? You’re good for offering perspective and shirts to cry on.”
He looked into my eyes, wiping the tears from my face with both hands. “I’m so proud to know you, Rose. Most people would run from this because it hurts so much.”
“And I have you to thank for that. I’d still be running if it weren’t for you.”
“No, I think you would have faced your past eventually.”
“I don’t know. If I were still with Joe, I might have hidden forever. He was so busy hiding from his own past that he never would have thought I needed to face my own.”
“It doesn’t matter. Because you’re facing it now. And you’re with me. I’m sorry for the pain you’ve been through, and I’ll do everything in my power make up for it.”
I kissed him softly. “You already have.”
I jumped at the sound of a knock on the kitchen door and Muffy released a low growl. I started to move away, but Mason’s arm tightened around my waist. “Come on in, Deputy Miller,” he said.
Deputy Miller pushed the door open, averting his gaze when he saw how close I was to Mason.
The deputy turned his gaze to Muffy who ran over to his feet and danced around. “Sir, I got the truck in the barn to turn over and I left the keys in the ignition. It’s really old, but someone’s been taking care of it. I think it would be safe for you to take it out.”
I glanced up at Mason in surprise.
“Thanks, Deputy.”
He nodded and went back outside, clearly eager to escape any more PDA.
Mason turned toward me with a small smile. “I wanted to drive around the land, and I figured you’d probably welcome the chance to get out of the house.” He stood. “Do you want to see the farm?”
“Yeah. I do,” I said, surprised that I actually did. “But don’t you need to get back to work?”
He shook his head. “I’ve gone over these files and cases so many times I’ve lost perspective. I’m hoping a little fresh air will help bring me some clarity.” He reached down to help me up.
I ran upstairs to grab the jacket Mason had packed for me and met him in the kitchen. He was loading a shotgun when I walked in—a grim reminder that this wasn’t just an afternoon drive.
“Does Muffy like car rides? Do you want to take her?” he asked, looking up.
“She loves them. And yeah.” She’d been my shadow all day, and she was standing at my feet. “Muffy, do you want to go bye-bye?”
She jumped up on my legs and released an excited bark.
Mason laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Muffy is definitely her own person.”
He smirked. “Well, she’s a lot like her owner.” He slung the strap of the gun over his shoulder. “No wonder you two are so close.”
We went out the back door and hiked out to the barn, following the path the tires had made in the tall weeds. The sun had begun to sink in the sky and the air had gotten colder since yesterday. I pulled my coat closer, thankful Mason had thought to grab it.
“There’s snow in the forecast tomorrow.”
I turned to him in surprise. “This early in November?”
He chuckled. “So much for global warming.”
Muffy romped excitedly through the grass, stopping every couple of feet to sniff.
“Do you worry she’ll run off?” Mason asked, pausing to watch her.
“Not really. Not unless she’s scared. The only time she ran off was when Joe called the police with an anonymous tip that the gun that had killed Sloan was in my shed. The police showed up and a crowd gathered and Thomas’s car backfired. Muffy freaked out and took off. I tried to run after her, but the police handcuffed me and left me in the driveway in front of everyone.”
He slipped his arm around my shoulders and I leaned my head against him as I watched Muffy run to a new stretch of weeds.
“Joe was on his front porch watching the entire thing. He took off after her, but he couldn’t find her. I was sure I’d never see her again. And then she came back the next day and saved my life. Now I listen to her. She has a sixth sense about things.”
“I’m glad she’s with us.” He kissed my temple before releasing me.
When we reached the barn, he pulled open the big wooden doors. I walked into the darkness, letting my eyes adjust. An old pale blue pickup truck that I remembered from some of the old photographs filled the front of the building. I walked around the barn, discovering empty stalls and musty hay.
“They kept horses,” I murmured, moving to the wall covered with reins and halters.
“Looks like it,” Mason said, following me. “Do you ride?”
“I did when I was a girl. I spent a couple of summers with Uncle Earl and Aunt Bessie. They have a farm in Lafayette County.”
We wandered around the barn for several minutes, Muffy sticking close to my side. Mason stood in the open doors for a few moments, staring out at the fields. “Let’s go see the land,” he finally said.
“Okay.”
“Do you want to drive? It’s a stick shift. I can teach you how.”
Warm memories of Mason helping me buy my own truck washed through me. Then I remembered the last time I drove a stick shift was when a crazy drug addict held me hostage at gun point and we ended up crashing into the back of a truck. I didn’t feel like pressing my luck. “I think I’ll pass. Why don’t you drive?”
He held open the passenger door and Muffy jumped in first, claiming her seat in the middle.
“This reminds me of my Nova,” I said as Mason slid behind the steering wheel. I turned the knob on the radio, watching as a dot rolled back and forth over the line charting the stations. “I love my truck, but sometimes I miss that car.”
He turned over the ignition and the engine sputtered to life. “They don’t make ’em like they used to.” He gave me an ornery grin.
After pulling out of the barn, he started to follow the one-lane dirt road abutting the fields north of the house.
“This road looks like it’s been used within the last few weeks,” he said. “It’s not overgrown like the fields. But the question is who was out here and will they be back?”
“It could have been Uncle Earl. He checks on the property regularly.”
“Maybe.” But he didn’t seem convinced. “Someone’s worked these fields.” He pulled to a stop and leaned over the steering wheel for a better look. “Do you know the layout of the land you own? Are these fields part of the farm?”
“Yeah, I think so. Uncle Earl said most of the land is to the north an
d east of the house and barn.”
Mason cruised slowly past fields that had been cut and carved into the dirt with straight lines. “Then I’ll bet he rents out the land. He’s probably earning enough to pay the taxes on the property and the minimal utilities he keeps hooked up to the house. Smart.”
“You’re probably right. He’s a smart businessman. He took the money Dora left me and invested it, more than doubling it. What does that mean for us if someone rented the fields?”
“It means that if someone we don’t recognize pulls into the driveway, they might have a legitimate purpose to be on the property, but I suspect whoever works this land uses a back road. I figured there had to be one. That’s part of the reason we’re out here. Now I really want to find it. Crocker could reach us that way.”
I shuddered.
“This is all precaution, Rose. From what you’ve told me, there’s no paper trail connecting you to this place.”
“I hope you’re right.”
We drove for almost a mile until we saw a road on the other side of a barbed wire fence. Mason drove up to the gate and parked. “Since we’re so close to the road, I think you should stay inside,” he said and hopped out the door, shutting it behind him.
Muffy put her paws on his door, watching him with her tongue hanging out of her mouth.
“Not this time, girl,” I murmured, rubbing her head to settle her down. “We’re going to stay inside.”
He walked over the cattle guard in the road and examined the gate before climbing back over it. “The gate isn’t locked. Right now anyone can open it and drive through.” He exhaled and leaned his forearm on the steering wheel. “I’ll see if I can find a padlock in the barn. It wouldn’t stop Daniel Crocker, but it might slow him down.”
“Is this a problem?”
“No. Whoever works the land isn’t likely to make the connection between you and your uncle. We’re probably fine.”
“Probably?”
“It’s the best I’ve got other than running off somewhere hundreds or thousands of miles away.”
I felt sick to my stomach. “That’s starting to sound like a better option.”
“I think we’re safer here, Rose. Jeff has seen to it that very few people know where we are. And at least we have armed protection here.”
“One man, Mason.”
“We’ll have two at night,” he said in a low voice. “With one inside watching the entrances. And we’re armed too, don’t forget.”
“Mason.”
“Rose, I’m so close to figuring out who the leak is, I can feel it. I have to keep connecting the dots. Once we have a strong case, we can make sure that the people who are after you will go away for a very long time. But I promise you, if I thought this place was unsafe, I’d be the first to move you. I would never knowingly put you at risk. Okay?”
Muffy hopped onto his lap and he reached down to absently to stroke her head.
“Okay.” I only hoped he was right. “Why are you the one who thought of the back road? Shouldn’t the sheriff’s deputies have thought to check this out?”
“Yeah,” he scowled.
That didn’t exactly fill me with confidence.
“After I figure out how to secure the gate, I want to canvass the woods behind the barn. Do you want to come with me or head back to the house?”
I looked out the window, noticing the lowering sun. “Why don’t I go back and start dinner? I don’t feel like walking around in the cold right now.”
“Okay, but stay inside until I get back.”
Mason pulled the truck up in front of the house and I gave him a kiss goodbye, worry tightening my stomach. Something didn’t feel right, but I wasn’t sure what. “Be careful.”
“I’ll be back soon. Stay inside.”
He pulled away as Muffy and I walked up the steps. Deputy Miller was sitting in a wicker chair on the porch, a gun across his lap. Muffy ran right up to him, sniffing his feet as though she were assessing him.
“Are you cold?” I asked. “It’s freezing out here.”
“I’m fine.”
“Do you drink coffee?”
He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I found some coffee grounds in the boxes of food. How about I make you some to warm you up?”
A smile spread across his face. “Thank you. I wouldn’t say no.”
“Great,” I said, standing. “I’ll be right back. Cream or sugar? But I don’t have cream, only milk.”
“Nah, black is fine.”
Muffy and I went inside and after I put on a pot of coffee, I checked the food supply to see what I could fix for dinner, settling on pasta and a jar of spaghetti sauce. I also found a package of cookies and put a couple on a plate.
After I slipped out the front door, juggling a mug of coffee and the plate, Muffy on my heels, I gave the refreshments to the deputy and sunk into the chair next to his. Muffy settled on the floor between the chairs.
He took several sips of the coffee and shoveled one of the cookies into his mouth. He was obviously starving.
“I’m about to start dinner, nothing fancy, just spaghetti. But I’ll bring some out to you when it’s ready.”
He hesitated. “I don’t want to be any trouble, ma’am.”
“I’m no ma’am. I can’t be more than a year or two older than you. Call me Rose. How long have you worked for the sheriff?”
He shrugged, inhaling the other cookie. “A few years.”
“Did you always want to be a policeman?”
“Nah, I got into some trouble when I was a kid. I decided to use the energy for something positive and got my associate’s degree in criminal justice.”
“Do you like working for the sheriff? Isn’t it dangerous?”
“Not too much. No offense, Rose, but this is the most exciting thing that’s happened in ages. Even the original Daniel Crocker bust was within Henryetta city limits, and the state police took over. If it had been under the HPD’s control, we still wouldn’t have been involved. There’s no love lost between our departments.”
“That’s not a surprise.” I looked up into the darkening sky, worried that Mason wasn’t back yet. “You said this is the most exciting thing that’s happened in ages. I don’t see how sitting outside could be very exciting. Aren’t you bored?”
“A lot of police work is sitting around and waiting. And I specifically requested to be on this case.”
“Really? Why?” I was genuinely baffled. I couldn’t think of anything that sounded less appealing than sitting on someone’s porch in the cold, looking for trouble.
He shrugged. “So you own this farm?” the deputy asked after a moment of silence.
“Yeah, I guess so. I didn’t know until a few months ago. This is the first time I’ve been here.”
“Wow. It’s pretty awesome.”
“It’s really peaceful, isn’t it?”
He took a sip of his coffee. “It doesn’t scare you to be out here?”
“You mean other than worrying about Daniel Crocker?”
“Yeah.”
“No more so than being in my own house in Henryetta. I’ve lost track of how many times it’s been broken into. That tends to make you feel less safe. But when my little dog Muffy is with me, she’s a pretty good guard dog.”
Hearing her name, Muffy sat up and looked at me.
My head tingled, announcing a vision. The porch disappeared and I was in the woods in the daylight.
“It’s okay, girl,” I said, pushing my way through thick brush to find a wet and muddy Muffy huddled on the ground and shivering. I gently picked her up and cradled her to my chest. “Don’t you worry. We’ll find your mommy.”
Suddenly, I was back on the porch staring into Deputy Miller’s face. “You’re gonna find my dog.”
“What?”
Muffy jumped up and propped her front paws on his legs.
I stood, rattled by the vision. What did it mean? “I’ve got to go cook dinner.” I headed f
or the door and held it open. “Coming, girl?”
Muffy stayed by Deputy Miller, who gave me an apologetic look.
“She can stay out here with me if she wants,” the deputy said. “It would be good to have the company. I’ll bring her inside if she gets restless.”
I hesitated. After my vision, I was worried she’d run off, but I’d meant it when I told Mason she had a mind of her own. “Thanks.” I turned my attention to her. “You be a good girl and don’t run off.”
I went inside and started boiling the water for dinner. The sun had set and Mason still wasn’t back. I was getting really worried.
Finally, the back door swung open and Mason came through it, his cheeks pink, his hair windblown.
Relieved, I ran over to him and threw my arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his mouth. Caught unaware, his arms encircled my waist and his lips pressed against mine, his passion taking over.
Fire ignited inside me and I pressed my body against his. His arms pulled me closer, but it wasn’t close enough. Still kissing him, my fingers found the zipper of his jacket and pushed it open.
One of his hands moved to my face, tilting my head back so his mouth had full access to mine. Then he stopped abruptly, his head lifting.
Panting, it took me a second to figure out why he had stopped. The pasta was boiling over.
Mason closed his eyes and took a step back, seemingly trying to recover as I moved to the stove and turned the heat down, stirring the pot. The spaghetti was done, so I found the colander and drained it.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I put the pot back onto one of the cold burners.
He came up behind me and pressed his stomach to my back, slowly sliding his hand over my waist and down to my lower abdomen. He mouth lowered to my neck, his lips skimming up to my ear. “If you greet me like that every time I come home, I’ll be sure to leave a lot.”
Closing my eyes, I leaned back into him. “You were gone a long time and I was worried. I was about to try you on my phone.”
“It wouldn’t have done any good.” His mouth concentrated on my ear lobe, lightly nibbling. “My cell service cut out a hundred feet past the tree line.”
Thirty-One and a Half Regrets (Rose Gardner Mystery #4) Page 18