I didn’t want to think about Thomas’s words, especially when I’d just told Gabriel that I had forgiven him fully.
I remembered another question, and I tried to be careful with how I worded it; I didn’t want to set myself off. Adrenaline buzzed through my veins, gearing me up for fight-or-flight.
“How did you find me?” I asked.
“I had to dispose of Felicity and Emma.” Gabriel’s words were slow and precise, every single word spoken with extreme care; he was obviously being careful with his words as well. “Emma was easy to find because she agreed to meet with me, but I honestly think Felicity had a death wish. Felicity was over nine hundred years old, and there were signs over the last few decades of her becoming weary of living. She didn’t even try to fight me when I found her.
“I went to Jasmina so I could tell her about their betrayal, and also to ensure that we were safe from the coven because I killed Emma and Felicity without permission. Jasmina drank my blood, and she heard Emma’s words through me. Because of the circumstances, she was not that angry that I acted without her permission, as the coven had been searching for them anyway, and Jasmina had suspected I was correct about their involvement.”
Cold flitted along my veins. I felt myself go pale at the thought of Jasmina drinking Gabriel’s blood.
Gabriel’s features softened, and he kissed my temple. “Kara, don’t worry that she had to drink my blood. She searched quickly within me to find her answer so a connection could not form. Anyway, it took me longer than I wanted to figure out where you would be. I was panicking, but I finally realized he would want you where his end began. I figured out you would be by the same lake. The only thing different was the cabin; he must have rebuilt it.”
Inola smoothed my hair. “Gabriel didn’t even tell us—he just took off,” she said, frustration in her voice. “He was halfway there before calling us to tell us that he had figured it out.”
“We brought you here because we don’t know who in Violet Memory we can trust. Christopher had a thing for Felicity, but the coven has been informed of her betrayal, and he knows not to touch you. While I do not think anyone else there would mean you harm, Gabriel does not want you around a bunch of vampires, excluding us, of course. He doesn’t want you to be afraid,” Thomas said.
I allowed all of that to sink in before asking another question. “Why didn’t you just bring me here instead of keeping me at the mansion from the start?”
“Would you have come?” Gabriel asked. “And I thought it was better for you to be around vampires that could destroy him if necessary.”
“You could have made me come,” I argued.
“I was trying to get you to not hate me, Kara.”
I relaxed into Gabriel’s body. “I would have hated you regardless,” I said truthfully.
Thomas laughed. Inola gave Gabriel a pitying look that swam with relief.
Thomas gestured out the door. “Come on, I have food ready for you.”
“Can I brush my teeth and take a shower first?” I asked.
“No,” Thomas replied so seriously I almost believed him. I smiled when he laughed at my surprised face.
Inola showed me where the bathroom was. When I was done, she came inside and bandaged my shoulder, her touch as light as a feather. I was glad she did it instead of Gabriel; I didn’t want him to see the wound.
When I came out of the bathroom, Gabriel and Thomas were sitting across from one another, speaking quietly. They stood immediately upon seeing me. I followed Inola and Thomas out of the bedroom, Gabriel’s cold arm around my waist.
I had a feeling he was not going to let me be alone anytime soon, and I was grateful for that.
I could only hope our enemy had not Controlled me to do anything else.
Gabriel’s house was small, but it was cozy, warm, and colored in silver and black. His paintings adorned the walls, their strokes and scenarios familiar. The largest was in the living room above the fireplace, a painting of Lucy dressed in a white gown. Her hair hung in perfect ringlets around her face, and the faintest golden light shimmered around the top of her head. Her eyes looked into the distance, and the fragility and sadness in them made my heart squeeze painfully.
I stopped beneath the painting, unconsciously touching the bandage at my shoulder.
All of this because someone loved you so much. Would Gabriel be reduced to the same state if something similar happened to me?
The pain in my heart was suddenly no longer my own. It was a sharper pain, more intense and intimate, and the entity inside of me longed for the girl in the painting so much that it burned my chest. I froze completely, but the sensation faded quickly.
“Are you all right?” Gabriel questioned quietly, rubbing my side.
I nodded. I didn’t want to acknowledge the truth.
I went into the dining room adjacent to the kitchen. The mahogany table was set with a variety of items that made me smile softly. Three steaming cups of hot chocolate with peppermint sticks were placed at each chair, and there was a cup of coffee for Inola. A large chocolate cake sat next to a plate of greasy pizza.
I looked to Thomas. “I’m gone for just a little while, and you lose all of your cooking skills?” I teased.
Thomas winked at me. “I thought comfort food would be a welcome sight this day, although I did make the cake. It will be the best cake you’ve ever had, I promise.”
“I can attest to that,” Gabriel said eagerly, his eyes on the cake.
Inola smiled softly at Gabriel and led me gently to a chair.
“Eat slowly, child,” she instructed me. “Do not rush. You don’t want to make yourself sick, but please make an effort to eat what you can. You are absolutely skin and bones.”
It was hard to eat without feeling nauseous. I appreciated Thomas supplying my favorite food, but maybe pizza hadn’t been the best choice on his part. After Inola saw my face turn green, she grabbed some carrot sticks and apple slices from the refrigerator, and I ended up eating those instead of the cake and pizza.
We ended up at the table for two hours. The atmosphere was peaceful and heavy with relief, and no one brought up anything unpleasant, but there were lingering anxieties that were nearly tangible. Thomas and Inola just seemed happy Gabriel and I were there, but their eyes worriedly lingered on me as Inola coaxed me to eat.
Gabriel ate half of the cake himself. When I unconsciously wiped a smudge of frosting off the corner of his mouth, his eyes lit up with glowing happiness, but it was followed by a smoldering protectiveness so fierce I could barely maintain eye contact.
Weariness soon filled me. None of them knew the things that had transpired within the wooden room, and the questions hovered in the air unasked. Even I couldn’t remember everything; so much of it was a blur of pain and darkness.
But I knew Elias had given me his blood, and I had no idea why.
It made feel guilty. Elias’s blood was actually inside my body. Being around vampires for so long, I was familiar with their way of thinking. Someone else’s blood besides Gabriel’s was inside of me, and even though it had been to save my life, and even though I’d had no say in the matter, I felt like I had betrayed Gabriel.
Had I imagined the alien pain when I’d stared at the painting? Had it only been my fear twisting my emotions when Elias had come at me that last time in the wooden room? Surely Elias had not given me enough blood to try to form a blood connection. Why would he do such a thing?
I didn’t realize how lost in thought I was until Gabriel rubbed my arm.
“Are you tired?” he asked carefully.
Surprisingly, I was tired. “I know I’ve been asleep for a long time, but I am feeling drowsy,” I confessed.
“Don’t worry about it,” Inola reassured me. “You rest as much as you need to.”
“What she said,” Thomas agreed. “Besides, you weren’t really sleeping.”
I smiled at them. I was so happy they were ok and here with me.
Gabriel t
ook my hand and pulled me gently to my feet.
“Come with me,” he said.
Chapter 4 Guardian Angel
Many of my worries drained away due to being alone with Gabriel again.
As soon as he closed the bedroom door, he pulled me into his arms, and I sighed against his black T-shirt. The comforting scent of pine needles filled my nostrils, and the smell even made my heart slow down a bit.
He held me for an immeasurable amount of time before I broke the silence.
“Are you ok, Gabriel?”
He tilted my chin up. “Why would you ask me that?”
“It’s just . . . you must have been so worried and scared. I know I would have been.”
He looked at me tenderly. “Worried and scared is an understatement, heart. In my eyes, the world was ending. It was crashing down around me, and I didn’t know how to stop it. . . .” He ran a finger along the length of my cheek, sending flaming butterflies across my skin with his touch. “How very like you, my dearest Kara, to worry for me when it is you who have truly suffered.”
“You’ve suffered,” I countered. “I’ve felt it.”
His eyes radiated pain. His next words were so soft I could barely hear them. “Any pain I feel has been brought upon me because of my own actions. And your pain is my burden as well; I have caused most of your troubles. Let us not pretend otherwise.”
“But I have forgiven you,” I said. “Isn’t that what you wanted all along?”
He stroked my curls, interlocking his fingers around the tendrils. “I have wanted your forgiveness more than anything, but I do not allow myself for even a moment to think I am worthy of it.” He paused, his head bowing. “I do not let myself believe I am worthy of you. . . .”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Then I suppose you think you are not worthy of kissing me, either,” I taunted lightly.
His eyes hardened. “You are right. But that has never stopped me before, has it?”
His lips came down on mine, and I sagged against him, immediately overwhelmed by his scent and touch. He held me against him tightly, molding our bodies together. His mouth crushed mine, drugging me with its softness. When our lips parted, my heart stopped briefly, and Gabriel’s hand flew to my chest to rest over the wavering muscle.
Briefly, I was amazed at how acute his senses were, but soon the thought was lost as his lips continued to caress my own.
It took too long for me to notice that my back was now against silk sheets. Gabriel had me pinned to the bed, and he was just as lost in me as I was in him.
His mouth left mine and drifted to my neck. I tensed, unsure.
He shuddered and pulled away, turning onto his back. He was breathing even harder than I was.
“I am sorry,” he said. “I will not bite you. Please believe me. Please do not be afraid.”
“I’m not afraid of you,” I worded carefully.
He didn’t miss my meaning. “Not of me . . .” His anger was palpable. “Did he . . . ? Kara, did he?”
I stared at the ceiling.
“Kara, please . . . ,” he said, his voice breaking. My heart burned in response to his pain.
My words were slow and whispered. “I can’t remember everything. From what I can remember, he hurt me. He chained me, stabbed me, kicked me, starved me, and he withheld water from me. He never touched me in a sexual way. He talked to me some, and I thought I saw you.” I made myself face him. “But it was actually him I saw, and the next thing I knew, you two were fighting. Gabriel, he broke our blood connection by giving me a complete blood transfusion. And I only had a shoulder wound when you saved me because he . . . he gave me his blood. I think he gave me enough to form a small blood connection between us.”
Gabriel’s eyes were haunted, the face of a man forced to watch someone he loved tortured. It took several minutes for him to compose himself enough to move, and all I could do was watch helplessly as pain, rage, and hatred warred inside his eyes.
He rose, going to a draped window. He leaned against the wall, staring at the drapes where no sun shone through. His body quivered, and I swallowed hard when he spoke.
“What am I supposed to say? Thank God he didn’t rape you, or drink your blood? Thank God you were not hurt as badly as you could have been? At least you’re alive? Nothing I say can make up for what happened. Nothing I do can make up for your suffering or make up for this life I have forced you into. And to top everything off . . . I cannot even kill him!”
Suddenly, he blurred, turning away from the window and appearing across the room. I didn’t even see him hit it, but I heard the sound as his fist made contact with the wall. Plaster went everywhere.
I sat up on the bed. “Gabriel, me loving you is not your fault. It’s not my fault, either. It just happened between us. You can say it’s because we’re Eternals, but I think it would have happened anyway, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. You once told me that you couldn’t help your feelings for me, remember?”
He wouldn’t look at me. “I remember. But this is the first time I truly regret the night I took you. The night I changed everything. . . . Your pulse was like a beacon to me. When I first heard your heartbeat, it was almost like a siren call, a magnetic pounding that drew me in and begged me to take you. Now the sound is like music to me, the blissful, rapid song of your life. But if I had ignored it and waited for the sun like I’d originally planned, you would be perfectly safe.”
His words made me go cold. The thought of him burning alive was too much. And if I was being completely honest with myself, the thought of him leaving me alone that night made me feel just as cold.
“But you would be dead. . . .”
“And you would be safe.”
I took a deep breath. “I almost can’t believe what I’m about to say, but you need to listen to me. I know you won’t believe my words at first, but please listen. I no longer resent you attacking me that night, Gabriel. Yes, I wish you would have just, you know, introduced yourself instead of biting me. And sure, if you hadn’t attacked me, I probably would be safe. I probably would have married Miles, popped out a few kids, and died of cancer or old age.”
“It is what should have happened. I took that from you.”
“Yes, you did. You took me away from a normal life and thrust me into a supernatural one full of danger, blood, and love. Impossible, undying love. I never would have experienced the type of love I feel now in a regular life. And that’s exactly what you took from me. A regular life. I was meant for more than that. I am strong enough to endure your world; I think I have proved that. ”
He eyed me slowly. “Is this the pain medicine talking, or do you really feel this way?”
“I told you before that what happened to me put certain things into perspective. It changed me. You changed me, just like I changed you. I’m no longer the Kara I was before my parents died, or even the same Kara you attacked. Be that good or bad, this is the way I feel now.”
Gabriel’s eyes were suddenly ageless. “You are saying these things to try to make me not feel guilty. Healing me of my self-hatred cannot be done with lies, dearest heart.”
Slowly, I held my arm out to him, wrist up. “Don’t believe me?”
His eyes widened before he shook his head. “I will not. Earlier when I was kissing you, my mouth going to your neck was completely an unconscious move on my part because I have been neglecting my thirst. I did not take much blood from you when I drank from you, so I am still a little thirsty; I just haven’t been drinking adequately since you were taken. And although the blood inside of you is different, I could not tell. You are still you, and it tasted the same to me as it always has. All I felt was you. All I felt was my heart, but you felt . . . unimaginably unstable. It nearly killed me to feel you so broken. . . . Still, there is no excuse for my reflex—I am sorry. And you were afraid when my mouth went to your neck. Are you not still?”
I brought my wrist down and stared at the fading fang scars. “Maybe I am. I think th
e sight of my blood frightens me now. I just . . . miss being connected to you.”
He sat down beside me, and I rested my head against his shoulder. He kissed my forehead, and I understood everything from the gesture.
He would never drink my blood again, not unless I truly willed it and was not afraid.
“Why would he try to form a connection?” I asked quietly.
He tucked a curl behind my ear. “Truthfully, I do not know. Whatever his reasons, it cannot be good. I can only surmise that . . .”
He didn’t finish, and although I was afraid to ask, I couldn’t help myself.
“Surmise what?”
Gabriel was very still. “That he has chosen a different path of revenge. He is going to try to take you from me in a way even crueler than what he originally planned.”
I started shaking hard enough that my teeth began to chatter. I knew Gabriel had to be thinking of the same scenarios as me, and even though I tried not to think, I couldn’t silence my brain.
What would he do next? Control me to forget about Gabriel and to love him instead? Change me into a vampire?
But none of those scenarios felt right. There was a part of me, or more likely, the part of him inside of me, that knew the truth. There was something he wanted from me; that much I had discerned, but I couldn’t tell what it was.
He didn’t want to harm me until he tried something with me, but what could he possibly want?
Gabriel held me until my teeth stopped chattering. Instead of pounding like it was about to explode, my heart rate eventually went back to its somewhat reasonable pace.
“If there is a blood connection between you two, you are not safe no matter where I keep you,” Gabriel said. “You are going to have to have another blood transfusion. I never would have thought of such a method, but I am glad he spilled the secret.”
“But he doesn’t know about this place, right?”
“He is smart enough to know I would have my own place. Even when you belong to a coven, it’s very common to have your own refuge. But does he know the exact location? Most likely not.”
“Well, all I know is that we are in Canada,” I said.
Forever Stained Red (Violet Memory Book 2) Page 4