My limited memories of the wooden room were too muddled and painful to dwell on.
“I will only ever love Gabriel, if that is what you mean,” I said.
“That is not what I mean,” he replied quickly. “Sorry to break your heart, little hummingbird, but I am just not into you that way.”
Thomas snickered behind me. His amusement somehow bolstered my confidence.
“You think I can help you. . . . Is that why you showed me Olivia?”
Several heartbeats went by. “I unconsciously dreamed of her. There is no reason to lie to you about that. I just want your help to see if . . . there is something left inside of me that is worth anything. Worth living for.”
“What do I get for helping you?”
“Your freedom from me, obviously. I will not harm you or your loved ones ever again. You won’t even know I am alive.”
“Out of curiosity, what if I choose not to help you?”
“Then I will find you and kill you, but only after I Control you to kill Gabriel. Maybe I’ll let you live with yourself for a few years after the fact. We both know Gabriel wouldn’t fight back if it was you. He would love you even as you drove the stake through his heart.”
Blood colored my cheeks to an angry red. “Do you want me to help you get with Olivia?”
“Olivia stays out of this and out of my life. She has nothing to do with anything.”
“Then how am I supposed to help you? There is such a thing as therapy. I don’t exactly have a degree, you know,” I snapped.
He sighed, the sound long and weary. “That is what I am not sure about. I suppose you come to me, and you stay with me for a little while. Then we can proceed from there. I know Gabriel will insist on being with you—”
Gabriel snatched the phone from my hand. “You’re insane, Elias. That is what your problem is, and no one can save you from your insanity. You are not ever going to see Kara again. Come anywhere near her, and I will kill you. Sire or not, I swear to you Elias, I will be the one who ends your life.”
Gabriel twisted the phone shut and threw the device against the wall, making my dogs bark like crazy.
“Well, I suppose that plan is out the window,” Inola said. She didn’t look upset about the outcome.
I swallowed ice. She was right. Even if Gabriel had allowed it, there was no way I would have gone to Elias and stayed with him.
How could I have helped him anyway? I could have tried to convince him to forgive Gabriel and himself, but that seemed futile; the poisonous hatred was carved into his very soul. And had he eventually changed his mind about Olivia, who was I to involve her? She was an innocent stranger.
The plan had been stupid from the beginning. I hated him too much to see any buried good within him.
“None of you would have let me see him anyway. You were all trying to be secretive and accommodating, but the minute he came anywhere near me, you would have killed him,” I said.
Thomas shrugged. “Of course we would have. We were going to try to trick Elias into thinking you would help him, and then we were going to kill him as soon as we saw him. It was up to Gabriel to decide whether he wanted to go through with this or not, and as you just saw, it’s not going to happen. He’s not going to risk your life. If you ask me, the whole charade was transparent. Elias was just trying to figure out your location.”
“But he gave me his blood. . . .”
“So he could torture you again, Red. The guy is messed up and unstable. Even if he truly wanted help from you, the smallest mishap would have made him snap and kill you.”
I sighed and turned away from them. “I’m such an idiot.”
Inola looked longingly at the draped window, the ordeal obviously forgotten. “Gabriel, you need some gardening tools if we are going to be living here.”
Thomas turned to the doorway, his arms crossing over his chest. “And a better equipped kitchen. I need a blowtorch for my baked Alaska. I could brown the meringue in the oven, but how dreadfully boring. . . .”
I smiled before looking at Gabriel, but my smile froze when I saw where Gabriel’s gaze rested. He was staring at my lips, something akin to hunger darkening his eyes.
Anticipation rushed through my body. Gabriel looked at my shaking fingers, and the corner of his mouth lifted slightly, making my pulse drown out Thomas’s ramblings.
Chapter 6 Renewed Vengeance
I adjusted once again to living in darkness. After a week, it was no longer too difficult, although there were times weakness would flow through me, my body rebelling against being nocturnal again.
The blood transfusion was not necessary. The day after I spoke to Elias, right before almost leaving for the hospital, I felt our blood connection break, a physical snap inside my heart and mind. The relief of being disconnected to him was vast, and Gabriel lost a bit of the anger lingering in his eyes.
I started to find peace with the three people I had grown to love more than anything. I missed my grandmother, but Inola updated me daily on how she was doing, as her caretakers emailed her regularly.
It was beautiful here in the mountains, the air clean and cool. The view was breathtaking, especially when you stood on the outcropping of rock near the house. It threatened to plunge you into endlessness if you stepped too close.
The weight of the world was lifting at last. Every night I gazed up into the starlit trees, leaning against Gabriel’s slow-beating heart, and I could finally breathe. As long as Gabriel was nearby, the darkness did not frighten me. He helped keep my fears away.
Using the light of lanterns, Inola and I started a flowerbed. Gabriel began painting again, although he wouldn’t allow me to see what he was working on. Thomas spent most of his time cooking and hiking in the surrounding woods; I wanted to join him on his walks, but we all agreed it was best for me to stay near the house for the time being.
One day I joined Thomas in the kitchen after he came back from the twenty-four-hour supermarket, already seeing the idea as I helped him unload the contents. Mass quantities of chocolate chips, baking cocoa, baking chocolate, chocolate bars, chocolate syrup . . .
I giggled and grabbed a mixing bowl, yelling to Gabriel that he wasn’t allowed in the kitchen no matter what he smelled or heard. I helped Thomas make triple-chocolate brownies, chocolate mousse, homemade chocolate ice cream, fudge, and double-chocolate chip cookies.
Gabriel happily ate half of everything himself.
But it was getting harder and harder for Gabriel and me to restrain ourselves when it was bedtime.
I knew Gabriel hungered for my blood. His kisses were becoming more and more desperate. His pupils would swallow his irises, making his eyes glow black instead of green. Frequently, his fangs shot out when we were kissing, and he would run his tongue along the pulse point at my neck, his fangs scraping my skin gently as my blood called to him.
I told Gabriel he could drink my blood; there was no reason to hold back anymore. I wanted him to. I wanted him.
“Not yet,” he said, smiling against my mouth. “I want this to be special for you.”
I wriggled against him. “How is it not already special? I’m tired of waiting.”
“I’m planning something. It will be worth the wait.”
***
“Good morning, heart.”
I sleepily opened my eyes. “Don’t you mean ‘good night’?”
Gabriel’s teeth gleamed white in the dark. “I wonder how many days you could go without a single sarcastic remark.”
I stretched. “I’m not confident enough to take that challenge.”
He laughed and turned on the lamp. “I have breakfast ready for you.” He indicated the silver tray on the nightstand. There was fresh fruit and chocolate muffins.
I moaned when I saw the chocolate. “Ugh! No more. I like chocolate as much as the next girl, but I’ve had my fill for the next few decades. Plus, I’m getting fat.”
“You are gaining much needed weight, not getting fat. Why do you think
Thomas has been cooking your favorite foods? I am pretty sure his skills are above making pizza and nachos.”
I poked at my stomach. “Look at this fat roll.”
“That’s called skin,” Gabriel replied. “Now eat something.”
I reached for a pear. “So what did I do to deserve breakfast in bed?”
“It’s our special day. Our special alone day. Inola and Thomas are not here right now."
I froze mid-bite. Alone. Actually alone with him. My cheeks burned.
He was watching me very carefully. “Nervous?” he asked softly.
I dropped the pear and cracked my knuckles.
“How’s the shoulder?” he asked gently.
“Stings,” I replied.
His eyes softened. “It hurts more than that.”
I shrugged, not wanting to worry him.
Gabriel took my face into his hands. “Holding back has been so hard, but I wanted you to feel completely safe and loved, and I wanted to give you time to recover. I need you to know that I love you. I need you to know I desire all of you. Your heart, your body, and your blood. As a vampire, wanting every aspect of you, to only you I bare my soul, Kara. I will love you forever, and you will always be mine.” He kissed me gently and leaned his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. “This I swear to you.”
I couldn’t move. It was nearly impossible to just sip in bits of air.
“A-Are we married now?” I asked, and then I kicked myself inwardly for saying the first thing that had popped into my head.
He smiled. “You’re not going to make this day easy for me, are you?”
I giggled. “I’ll try to do better.”
His eyes opened, and they smoldered with a love that didn’t seem possible. My heart thrummed nervously.
“Is that what you want?” he asked quietly.
“What? To make things easier for you? Not sure that I should,” I teased.
His eyes shone with unending patience. “Proposing to you was actually not in my plans today, but since you brought it up . . . Is that something you want?”
I swallowed hard, my head a blur. “You mean to tell me you never planned a proposal?” I joked.
“I said not today. I did not say I never planned one.” He tucked a curl behind my ear. “I do not want to overwhelm you. Just listen to your heart. . . .”
He moved his hand to rest lightly over the pounding muscle.
I put my hand over his. “Sure, I’ll marry you someday. I mean, who else would I marry?”
He laughed and fell back onto the bed, taking me with him. “You accepted that deep commitment graciously, heart.”
I laughed with him. “Honestly, I’m just wondering who made the actual proposal, me or you.”
“Never a dull moment.”
“Never,” I agreed.
After breakfast and a morning shower, he led me to the doorway.
“Does this special day have something to do with my dogs and cats having to stay in our bedroom?” I asked.
“Maybe,” he answered. “Can I trust you to close your eyes, or do I need to cover them?”
I smiled. “What do you think?”
His hands moved up to cover my eyes. “Walk slowly,” he said, happiness apparent in his voice. “I won’t let you run into anything.”
“I know you won’t.”
The air became charged with warmth. He pulled me gently back against him, and for a time, I just savored his comforting scent and his familiar, slow heartbeat pounding through my back. I was also letting him rejoice in the fact that I was here with him, willing and unafraid.
As he led me forward, a new scent blended in with the pine needles until it completely overpowered it. My lips curved into a grin as he uncovered my eyes to reveal what he had done to the living room.
I’d never told him my favorite flower was roses, but then again, I hadn’t needed to. He had been inside my mind; he had seen my soul. He knew me better than anyone else ever had or ever could.
The roses were everywhere, all of them as red as blood. Candles gave the room an intimate glow, casting shadows against the crimson petals. In front of the crackling fireplace was an easel, and on the easel was a painting of me sitting on the floor with Everest’s head on my lap. I was laughing and looking at something or someone the viewer could only guess at. There was the unmistakable look of happiness and love in my eyes and posture, and something else I couldn’t quite identify. My . . . essence? It was obvious Gabriel had captured something about me I had never even seen in myself.
I was speechless, especially when I saw the makeshift bed on the floor near the couch. The thick pile of black quilts and silk sheets were surrounded by rose petals, and I was pretty positive it was not intended for sleep.
I jumped when Gabriel stroked my upper arm.
“Kara?” His voice made my stomach squeeze nervously. Made my blood feel like it was burning.
I tried to reply, but my throat was suddenly very dry. I grew dizzy.
He pulled me closer to him, and I once again felt his pulse through my back. It was so much slower than my own, as if it were trying to calm my racing heart.
“Please, say something. Have I frightened you?” Gabriel asked.
I shook my head, unable to find my voice.
His fingertips quickly brushed under my eyes, obviously checking for tears. Finding none, his hands went to my shoulders, and he turned me to him gently. My eyes automatically went to the floor.
“Look at me.”
He was patient with me. It took me a few minutes to comply, and when I finally raised my eyes to his, what I saw surprised me.
He looked shy. Gabriel Arundel was actually feeling shy.
“I love it. Every bit of it,” I assured him.
He relaxed immediately. “See why your animals had to stay in the bedroom today?”
“Yes, I understand. Where in the world did you get all of these roses?”
He cracked a smile. “Internet. I hid everything in the garage.”
“So Thomas lied to me about staying out of the garage? There’s not really an infestation of spiders in there?”
“Not that I know of.”
I smiled at him, and my next words would have been indistinguishable to a human. “My eyes don’t look like that.”
Gabriel glanced at the painting and then back to me. “To vampire eyes they do. To humans, your eyes are just hazel. To vampires, you have the most intriguing eye color that exists. They are a kaleidoscope of blue, green, and gold.” His lips brushed the side of my mouth, making me shiver. “It’s one of my favorite things about you. I could gaze into them for eternity and be content.”
His hands ran up and down my back, feeling me tremble.
“Heart, we will not do anything you are not ready for,” he said.
“I’m not afraid of that,” I answered honestly. “I’ve wanted you for days now. Ok, maybe I am a little nervous. It’s just . . . I love you. So much. And after everything that’s happened . . . I was dying, and my memories of it are so cloudy, but I truly remember just wanting to see you one more time. Oh, Gabriel, what if he has Controlled me to do something horrible? What if I hurt you again? What if I kill you this time?” Tears formed in my eyes, and my hands moved to my temples in fists. “I’ll live in fear the rest of my life because of him!”
His hands gripped my face carefully, and my hands moved to clasp themselves over his.
“You will not hurt me,” Gabriel said. “This isn’t his moment. This is our moment, ok? He has no idea where we are, and had he Controlled you to harm me, you would have done it by now.”
I bit my lip almost to the point of drawing blood. “Gabriel, I’ve been trying to fight it. . . . And I have been, and you and Inola and Thomas have helped . . . but I am so scared.”
His face was agony. “I know you are.” He hesitated, and his next words were soft. “I can help you. I can Control you to not be afraid. I can Control you to forget what he did to you.”
> “Then why haven’t you?” I asked.
“I loathe Control. I always have. And when it comes to you, I especially hate it.” He tucked a curl behind my ear. “I’ve already taken so much from you. Your free will was bound to my bedroom inside a house full of vampires.” His hand became a fist against my cheek. “How I despise the choices I make when it comes to you. In my fear of losing you, I always hurt you the most.”
I wrapped my arms around him. “Then help me in another way. Drink my blood, Gabriel. Connect to me, and help me bear this fear.”
Now Gabriel began to tremble. “The sight of blood frightens you now. We will have to be careful.”
I kissed him. I paced myself, moving my lips slowly against his, brushing them back and forth, trying to draw out the moment.
But it felt like the very air was going to collide in on itself.
“You’ve been holding back for too long,” I murmured against his lips. “I know your thirst pains you. Stop fighting it.”
My words seemed to light a fire within him.
His hands gripped me tightly, and his mouth moved with frenzied fervor against mine. Suddenly, I was against the wall, and I vaguely wondered about the makeshift bed, but the thought vanished as he kissed me deeper.
Before I even knew it was happening, there was the faintest snap of his fangs escaping his gums, and the bliss of heaven at my neck.
The rush of light and euphoria that his bite caused made me weak and unable to even stand. He held me up. His name escaped my lips, a whispered scream that begged him to drink more, to take more, to make me his completely.
I could feel bits of him flowing into me once again, and the despair he had felt from me nearly dying and the love he had for me made tears blur my vision. My throat choked with unnamable emotion.
His weight pinned me to the wall as his hands moved to the hem of my shirt. He began to lift the fabric up, his skin electric on mine, but his fingers froze, and his head lifted from my neck. He twisted around too fast for my eyes to process.
A rush of his fear swept into me, so strong my heart throbbed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, bewildered.
He moved like mist to the couch, reaching under it and pulling out a black duffel bag.
Forever Stained Red (Violet Memory Book 2) Page 7