‘She must have been so brave when she found out about . . . well . . . about you and Suzy. So filled with love and needing a baby and so pleased she could adopt yours. At least we weren’t anybody’s. I’ve never really thought about it like that before. Were you embarrassed? About what happened?’
Peter studied her question and eventually said, ‘Not embarrassed, no. Deeply ashamed of myself.’
‘But you gave Mum what she longed for - two children to love.’
Peter felt incredibly confused. ‘Not quite as straightforward as that.’
‘Oh! Right. Can you love two people at the same time, then?’
‘I’m not sure I should be discussing this with you.’
‘I am sixteen and I need to know, and it is about me . . . and Alex.’
Peter nodded. ‘The most I can say is that I have deeply loved your mother since the very first time I met her. Nothing and nobody could come between us whatever happens, whoever happens, and what occurred with Suzy Meadows was something quite separate from that and I still don’t know why it came about, but it did, and the guilt I felt has lain like a stone wrapped around my heart ever since. There, that’s all I can say about it.’
‘But you’re glad you have us?’
‘I haven’t a vocabulary big enough to tell you how glad I am and always have been.’
‘So it feels like a betrayal of Mum?’
‘Yes.’
‘She must love you dreadfully.’
Peter didn’t answer for a moment. ‘She must. And you see, there’s no feeling in the world like it when you hold your child in your arms for the first time, adopted or biological. Nothing matches it. So I suppose that helps.’
Beth wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her cheek to his. ‘And I can tell you this: you are my dad and my mum is my mum and there’ll never be any change to that. No change at all. Whatever anyone says or does.’
‘Tell your mum that, will you? She’s been broken-hearted by Suzy Meadows turning up so unexpectedly.’
‘I’ll do it right now.’
Caroline, still feeling threatened by Suzy presenting herself at the Rectory - after all, what was to stop her from arriving again and again? - was comforted by Beth’s passionate declaration that she loved Caroline and had no need for Suzy whatsoever. The two of them clung together in such a meaningful embrace that they both cried and had to share a tissue that Beth found in her pocket.
‘So don’t ever worry, Mum, ever again. I’m yours and, like it or not, you’re stuck with me.’
‘That’s the best thing I’ve heard in years, darling. I love you so.’
A final kiss and a cup of tea in front of the Aga, each in a rocking chair, talking about the meaning of life, brought healing to Caroline, and Suzy faded into the back of her mind. How she loved this girl for having said what she did. The love between them seemed to have increased tenfold.
Chapter 7
There were ten members of the youth club, plus Venetia and Kate, waiting for the minibus for the midnight walk on Brocken High Barrow. Ford, as they’d all been instructed to call him, came along to see them off. Five came from Penny Fawcett, two from Little Derehams and three from Turnham Malpas. Beth was in a defiant mood once more. She’d begged Alex not to go.
‘Just because we’re twins it doesn’t mean we’re inseparable and need to do everything together like we’ve always done,’ she said.
‘I’d like to go on the bowling trip.’
‘Well, you do that and I’ll not go then. Right?’
Alex hesitated. ‘I’d much rather I came. You know what that lot from Penny Fawcett are like.’
‘They’re not bad. Well, Graham’s fine, Ben’s a nerd, thick as it’s possible to be but harmless, Jake’s a bit of all right—’
‘Exactly. He’s always hanging round you. Every word you say he treats as gospel.’
‘You’re being ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Tom’s fine, like you, well behaved and totally boring with it—’
‘That’s a bit mean. I’m not totally boring, am I?’
‘You can be if you think someone’s not behaving as they should. Remember that time when George got you annoyed and you lost your temper! God, that was so funny! Your face went puce and you looked a nerd, just like Ben.’
‘Thanks, Beth, thanks very much. I wasn’t having him taunting you, and if he does it again I shall probably thump him.’
‘I’m perfectly well able to take care of myself. I do not need you hovering, right?’
‘Look, I haven’t forgotten what happened in Africa—’
‘Shut up! Shut up! I don’t want to hear.’ Beth clapped both hands over her ears. He mustn’t remind her. He mustn’t.
Alex prised her hands from her ears and said, ‘That’s what I’m talking about. That Jake has so much testosterone. Sex is his total obsession, and you know that.’
‘Shut up! This is the new Beth, not the goody-goody Beth I used to be. I’m taking charge and doing exactly as I like, so there. What you get up to is your affair and I shan’t tell the parents, so don’t you let on about me, OK?’
‘I don’t agree.’
‘Well, I do, and that’s that.’ She stormed off to her own bedroom, slammed the door and burst into tears.
So now she stood waiting with the others, glad she’d put on her thickest anorak and that her mother had persuaded her to wear thick socks with her Wellingtons. Mothers had some uses, she supposed.
Beth had a wonderful time. The screaming wind bowled them along faster than they wanted but it was so exhilarating, with the dark, dark sky, the clouds racing across quicker than she could ever remember, and the feel of her cheeks getting colder and colder. How glad she was of Jake’s arm around her waist keeping her upright. But at the end of the walk, as they were striding back along the Barrow towards the minibus, Beth’s defiance fell away and she began to feel distinctly odd. ‘Jake,’ she said, ‘that lemonade you gave me - what kind was it? I feel really weird.’
‘Just ordinary lemonade, from home,’ he replied casually. ‘Here, let me help you; you don’t want to get blown over the edge.’ He put his arm round her shoulders and hugged her close. ‘Let’s hang back, they won’t go without us.’
‘I don’t want to hang back. I’m cold and tired and I want to go home.’
But Jake had other ideas. Beth was by far the most attractive girl in the whole group. He’d always thought so since she was about fourteen and just back from Africa. As far as he was concerned, tonight was the right moment, in the dark. He held her back and made to kiss her.
‘Jake! What the heck . . . Stop it! I’m not interested.’
‘But I am. Don’t tease.’
‘I’m not. I’m just walking along.’ She gave him an almighty push and he almost lost his footing, so she grabbed him back and before she knew it he was kissing her, like she’d never been kissed before. It sent thrills up and down her spine and she wished . . .
‘Come on you two, or you’ll be left behind.’ It was Venetia.
‘We’re coming,’ Jake said sulkily.
‘You OK, Beth?’
‘Apart from feeling very sleepy. What time is it?’
‘One-thirty. Time we set off home.’
There was a throb in Beth’s voice which Venetia recognised. She knew all about exciting throbs in people’s voices and she made a note to mention it to Kate. That Jake! He’d even tried it on with her one night when they’d all been to the cinema in Culworth, but a good slapped face did the trick. But Beth! Peter would kill yours truly if anything happened.
Which wasn’t exactly what Beth was thinking. She rather had the idea that she wouldn’t tell her dad a thing about it. This was her life, her privacy, her doing as she wanted and not as the entire village and her parents expected of her.
But, shock of shocks, Jake came round to the Rectory the next morning.
Caroline answered the door and greeted him enthusiastically. ‘Hello! It’s Jake, isn’t
it? Do come in. Alex isn’t up yet.’
‘Oh, right. Is Beth up?’
Slightly taken aback, Caroline said she thought she’d heard her in the shower a while ago. ‘I’ve been in the garden, you see, so I don’t know what’s happening. Go into the sitting room. I’ll let Beth know you’re here.’
So Jake sat on the sofa and looked around. This wasn’t the sitting room of a member of the clergy living on his stipend, no, not at all. Then he remembered that Beth’s mother was a doctor still in practice. He guessed Beth was very carefully brought up and he’d have to watch his step, but by her response last night, maybe . . .
Beth walked in, and that thrilling kissing of his came vividly to mind and thrilled her all over again.
‘Hi, Jake.’
‘I thought we might go out this morning.’
‘Out? Where?’
‘Well, I don’t know.’
‘I’ve no money for going into Culworth. I’ve bust the lot on some DVDs.’ She couldn’t believe he’d turned up here. But that same thrill ran up and down her spine, making her wish for more.
‘What about the coffee morning in the village hall?’
The idea of everyone seeing her there with him . . . ‘I haven’t had my breakfast yet and I never go anywhere without it. Come in the kitchen and we can talk while I eat.’
Jake thought this a daft idea but better than nothing. He hadn’t enough money to pay for two bus tickets and entertainment in Culworth so there was no alternative.
‘OK then. Lead the way.’ He made certain to sit as close as possible, not opposite but at right angles and well up to her corner of the table. She looked stunning this morning, as fresh as a daisy and young and just as untouched. Her platinum-blonde hair, fair skin and round cheeks, and those gorgeous blue eyes . . .
‘I’ll carry on with my gardening, OK?’ Caroline said as she breezed in, but Beth was too preoccupied with making sure she appeared her best to give an answer. ‘See you in a while.’ Caroline found herself rather nonplussed about the unexpected arrival of Jake. Still, she surmised, it might be the first of many such callers.
Beth was relieved she had showered and hadn’t come down as she often did on a Saturday, in her pyjamas, with just her face washed and her hair roughly gathered in a ponytail to keep it out of the way. What did you say to someone you wished was kissing you and not sitting beside you sipping a cup of tea poured from your very own teapot in the shape of Winnie the Pooh? It was no good, she’d have to leave her childish things behind, but she did love this silly teapot of hers.
‘You got much prep to do this weekend?’
Beth nodded. ‘Well, yes, I have, rather a lot. I went on strike last night and didn’t do a thing. This first year in the sixth form is hard work. Did you find it hard?’
‘Upper Sixth is worse but I don’t bother very much, just enough to keep the teachers quiet.’
‘Where do you want to go after school?’
‘I’m taking a gap year. Going to America or somewhere, and then to university.’
‘To do what?’
Jake obviously had no intention of revealing what he was going to do because he changed the subject abruptly. ‘When you’ve finished this banquet you’re consuming, shall we go for a walk?’
‘What about down behind Hipkin Gardens?’
‘OK. That’ll be fine.’
‘Jake. How did you get here from Penny Fawcett?’
‘Bike.’
‘That’s about four miles?’
‘I came over the fields. It’s quicker that way.’
‘I see.’ He must be very interested in me, she thought, because that’s a rough ride.
‘I’ll clean my teeth then . . .’ She neatly cleared her dishes away into the dishwasher, smiled briefly and disappeared.
Jake remembered he hadn’t cleaned his before he set out. He listened for footsteps and heard nothing, so he rushed to the kitchen sink and filled his mouth with water time after time, forcing it between his teeth to rid them of any stray bits of chocolate cake, which was all he could find in the cupboard at home. For the first time ever he wished his mother was a better housekeeper. He envied Beth her substantial breakfast. No wonder she was all curves. And God she was! Beautiful curves, and he wanted to touch her . . .
There were footsteps in the kitchen and in walked Alex, just as Jake was sitting down again.
‘Hi, Jake. What are you doing here?’
‘Going a walk with Beth.’
‘Oh! I see. Excuse me while I eat my breakfast, will you.’ He weighed her Winnie the Pooh teapot in his hand. ‘None left. Thought not. I’ll have milk instead.’
Alex never spoke again. All he did was sit down and delve into his breakfast: a huge bowl of cereal, topped with a sliced banana, three slices of toast and marmalade, and two glasses of milk, followed by the remains of a big pot of yoghurt he found in the fridge. Jake sat, fascinated by the amount of food Alex had consumed. Well, he was a big chap, a lot taller than himself, so perhaps he needed it.
Where on earth was Beth? How long did it take to clean your teeth?
Alex still hadn’t spoken.
Eventually Jake heard her coming down the stairs.
Alex did speak at last. ‘Where might you be going with Beth?’
‘Just for a walk.’
‘Where?’
‘Behind Hipkin Gardens, Beth said.’
Alex made a performance out of checking his watch. ‘Right.’
Beth overheard their conversation. Head high, she marched down the hall, her teeth gritted and her temper rising. ‘Come along, Jake. We’ve plenty of time. Lunch isn’t till one.’
Through the open kitchen door Alex saw she was wearing her newest outfit and he was full of misgivings.
But Beth hadn’t a care in the world. She was delighted that Jake was so good-looking. She hoped someone would see her. But then she guessed that perhaps they’d rush straight round to the Rectory and tell her dad. Well, if they did, so what? He appeared to approve of her breaking out of the mould of being a goody-goody child from the Rectory.
As they reached the entrance to the woods behind Hipkin Gardens, Jake gently took hold of her hand and squeezed it, and she loved the warm, confident feel of his fingers gripping hers and the closeness it brought. She remembered the kisses he’d given her, and hoped for more. Her heart thumped with excitement.
Soon they reached a clearing where there were lots of tree trunks that had never been taken away after they’d been felled, and Beth sat down on one in the hope Jake would kiss her again.
Jake obediently perched on the same tree trunk and said, as someone would who believed in being upfront, ‘That brother of yours . . .’
Scathingly Beth said, ‘Take no notice of him.’
‘Does he always make a note of where and why you’re going out and who with?’
Beth lied. ‘No-o-o. He doesn’t bother about me very much. We each do our own thing.’
‘He’s timing us.’
‘No, you’re wrong. He’s probably got somewhere to go and was just checking he wasn’t going to be late.’
‘Can’t be Culworth; he’s missed the bus.’
‘He has a bike. Anyway, I haven’t come out to discuss Alex’s whys and wherefores.’
‘It’s just that at school he’s good fun, a real mate.’
‘Yes, well.’ Beth looked into his face, a face so close she only had to lean forward less than half a metre and they would have been nose to nose. She looked directly into his eyes, those brown eyes with a kind of tigerish glint. He was altogether too tempting, was Jake. But even in her new mood of not caring one jot what people thought of her, she didn’t quite dare . . .
Jake grinned at her. ‘Go on, then.’
‘Go on what?’
‘Kiss me like you want to. I can see it in your face.’
‘No, you can’t!’
‘Yes, I can.’
So she did. Just a peck. But she knew there was more to it than
that. She’d seen Mum and Dad kissing, lingeringly and meaningfully, and that was exactly what she wanted to do with Jake, like in films. Desperately wanted it to be just how she’d imagined it. She’d try it.
But then so did Jake and they were kissing as never before, more seriously than when they’d kissed on the midnight walk.
His arms went round her and hers round him, and it was delicious. This was living, this was! He was running his hands up and down her spine, caressing her and then his hands were feeling her rather than caressing. Beth drew back. Something about his urgency alarmed her.
The Village Newcomers (Tales from Turnham Malpas) Page 10