by Debra Kayn
The guard hooked the chain around each of Thorn's ankles and connected the links to his handcuffs. There wouldn't be time to talk with Jessy. He'd already given his lawyer the information he wanted passed to Jett, who would inform Jessy privately.
Tears rolled down Jessy's cheeks. He tilted his head. His love for her only strengthened during the four weeks he'd spent locked in County. She remained loyal and stuck with the story Chief, Jett, and Olin fed her to the very end.
For a woman who nurtured and raised her daughter in a world where she faced her problems head-on, respected professional opinions, and wasn't afraid of hard work, sitting back and letting him take the punishment for her crime—a crime that should've been rewarded and not penalized, she'd held on tight.
He could see her commitment in her eyes even though the trial put her through hell. He tuned out the news crew taking pictures from the back row, the attorney talking to him, the gawkers sitting and murmuring to each other.
Jessy had survived, gaining a scar on her beautiful face. There were no doubts that she could handle life on her own while he was away.
But, he had to make sure she remained his while he spent his time behind bars. He wanted her there when he walked away from prison.
Because of Nikki, it'd been hard to slow down and make small changes when he wanted to start his life with her on his terms. It'd be even harder to navigate their relationship locked up.
The guard pushed him forward. He shuffled his feet, knowing security would walk him down the left side of the room. As directed beforehand, Jessy sat to the far left, three rows from the back. He'd pass right by her.
Not that he'd get a chance to touch her.
Jessy's chin wobbled as she held his gaze. He mouthed, "Love you."
"I love you," she mouthed back.
Not wanting to miss his chance, he said, "Tell her, I heard her."
The guard kept pushing him forward. He craned his neck, looking back at her. Jessy ardently nodded. He winked. That little girl, who spoke out for him, would get her words back. He'd make damn sure she did.
Shoved out of the courtroom, two officers flanked Thorn's sides and transported him to the van parked out back. He'd return to county and wait for the van to transport him to the penitentiary. Once there, he'd need to watch his back. Brikken Motorcycle Club's reputation within the penal system was well known. Being Chief's son and Jett's brother put an even bigger target on his back.
Always believing if his luck ran out, he'd be serving time for chopping, transporting, and selling stolen parts made into black market motorcycles. A sixteen-month sentence was a drop in the bucket compared to his other crimes.
He could've gotten off free if not for his association to Brikken and the prosecuting attorney tagging on reckless behavior to the involuntary murder charges. Through it all, he still thought of himself as lucky. If they would've found him guilty of premeditated murder, he'd be sitting in a cell for life or looking at the death penalty.
Placed in the middle of the van, he sat stoically next to the window while two other prisoners boarded and sat in front of him. He looked out through the unbreakable glass, between the two buildings a hundred yards away, and spotted Chief, Jett, and Olin leaning against the brick wall.
His chest expanded. They all understood his choices and came out to show their respect and support.
He lifted his chin, regardless if they could see him through the window of the van or not. Rollo's words came back to him in a rush.
"Family comes first, and for Brikken to succeed, we must regard the club as one of our own. Our women must be strong, loyal, and committed. Trust no one, and everyone you meet remains your enemy."
He turned and stared straight ahead. An enemy had shot Rollo in the back. As if his grandfather planned his death, Brikken became stronger because of it.
Chapter Twenty Four
Outside Seattle Penitentiary, Chief waited by Jessy's car to escort her inside to visit Thorn. She stepped out, shut the door, and glancing back at Nikki in the backseat, approached Thorn's father.
"I don't know if this is the right thing to do. Nikki wants to see him, but she's a child. A baby, really." She moistened her lips. "I know, I said I'd bring her but what if something happens inside or the process of getting her okayed to visit Thorn freaks her out. I don't want to set her back to being scared."
"It's your decision." Chief tilted his head. "Thorn wanted to see her. I'm only the messenger. I promised my son if Nikki came, I'd be with you both every single step."
She bit her lip and looked back at Nikki in the car waiting for her to open the door. Not wanting to get her daughter's hopes up about seeing Thorn, she only asked her last night that if she could go to Thorn if it were possible would she want to see him? Nikki spent the rest of the evening playing. Every so often she'd raise her head, smile and say yes.
It hadn't taken a genius to figure out Nikki kept thinking over their conversation about seeing Thorn. She positively wanted to see him.
And, Jessy wanted to see him, too.
"Okay." She sighed, making up her mind. "I'll take her in. I don't understand the connection those two have, but I have a feeling it'll be good for both of them if they had time to visit."
"What about you?" asked Chief.
She turned to Thorn's father. "I love him, but Thorn doesn't need me the way that my daughter needs him."
"Don't be so sure about that," he said quietly.
She opened her mouth to ask him what he meant, and Chief stepped away to give her time to retrieve Nikki from the car.
Once she had her daughter out and tucked Nikki's shirt into her shorts, she kneeled down in the parking lot and held Nikki's hands in front of her. "Thorn is inside."
Nikki's eyes widened, and she pulled against her, ready to go find him.
"Wait." She kept Nikki by her side. "There are rules we have to follow to see Thorn. If we're good and can be patient—no crying, we can visit with him."
Nikki's lower lip popped out in a pout. Jessy wanted to cry, too. This was all too much to understand and accept for an adult. She couldn't expect a five-year-old to comprehend what waits inside the building.
"Okay, let's walk in politely with Mr. Chief." She stood and held on to Nikki's hand, praying that her daughter wouldn't throw a fit and start crying inside when she becomes overwhelmed with the procedure of admittance.
She looked up at Chief. He dipped his chin, having overheard her. Since Thorn wasn't here to support her, she'd take his father's approval instead.
Fifteen minutes later, they entered the visiting room. Jessy followed Chief to a back table and sat Nikki beside her. Luckily, the guards gave Nikki approval after a visual inspection. She'd purposely put her daughter in a tank and shorts with sandals and no socks hoping that stripping her down would be unnecessary.
She hadn't faired as well. The guard had patted her down, leaving her feeling violated and dirty.
"We get one hour with him," said Chief. "Time will go fast. If you have something to say to him when he gets here, it's best to get it out at the start."
She nodded. The things she wanted to talk about were meant for Thorn's ears only. She had no idea when the next time she'd have a chance to see or speak with him again.
The door on the far side of the room opened. Inmates streamed in, going in all different directions. Nikki leaned toward her, and she put her arm around her daughter. The sight of so many criminals frightened her. Though Nikki had no idea they were sitting in prison. She had no concept of serving time. She wouldn't fear a fight breaking out or any kind of danger, because she was with Jessy.
Nikki believed her mother would protect her.
Searching the crowd for Thorn, Jessy wondered how she'd arrived at a place where the man she loved was incarcerated, and she placed her little girl into an unsafe situation.
She was going to throw up.
If anyone in the room knew the truth, they'd look at her the same way she was looking at them. S
he was no better than every criminal in prison.
"There he is," said Chief.
She spotted Thorn, standing taller than those around him. His gaze met her, and he strode forward. Her pulse pounded. He looked different.
Harder.
Stronger.
Tougher.
His unbound hair hung below his shoulders, and his beard seemed fuller, untouched by the wind. She swept her gaze over him from head to toe and back up again. His orange jumper hid his body from her and made his skin appear pale and older.
Beside her, Nikki inhaled swiftly and whined. Jessy leaned over and whispered calm words she couldn't recall because Thorn sat down across from them.
"Hey, princess," said Thorn, his voice huskier than his usual gravely tone.
Nikki squirmed, pushing against Jessy. She looked to Thorn for help, not knowing if she could take her daughter out of the room or if she had to force her to sit still and be quiet.
"It's okay. She can come to me." Thorn shifted.
Nikki slid off her chair and walked over to Thorn and stood between his knees. He cupped her face, almost swallowing her up with his hands.
"Long time, no see, huh?" He looked into her eyes. "I'm glad you came to see me."
Nikki's mouth opened and shut. Jessy pressed her hand to her throat, hurting for her daughter. She wanted to speak. Anyone in the room could tell there were thoughts in Nikki's head and she couldn't get the words out.
"Remember how we used to talk on the phone and I could see you, and you could see me?" he asked.
Nikki nodded and said, "Yes."
It was the first time Thorn had heard her speak besides the time she'd screamed no when he'd been arrested. He lifted his gaze to Jessy, and his mouth softened before he cleared his throat and turned back to Nikki.
"I can call you from here, and we can talk until I can go home again. That way I won't miss you so much. Would you like that?"
"Yes," said Nikki.
"Ah, princess. That's damn good to hear," he whispered, stroking Nikki's cheeks.
Jessy's chest warmed. Now was not the time to remind him to watch his language around her. Not when her daughter bloomed from his attention.
"Do you want to sit by me?" asked Thorn.
"Yes." Nikki moved forward, and Thorn picked her up, putting her on his knee.
"I need to talk to your momma for a bit." He let her relax against his chest.
Jessy leaned toward the table. "Is it okay for her to be on that side with you?"
"This is family visiting hour. Kids can move around and visit with those who are incarcerated."
"What about me?" she asked.
His gaze intensified. "We can hug once before I have to go back inside."
"Can we get conjugal visits?" she whispered.
Chief grunted beside her. Unashamed of her need to be alone with him, it wasn't all sexual. She owed him for protecting her against any prosecution for killing Ed. They never had a chance to talk about it. She needed privacy.
Thorn had made the decision to take the blame on his own. She needed to know why. She needed to know how she could repay him.
"We're not married in the eyes of the state, Jessy." He rubbed Nikki's arm while looking at her. "We're going to work this out. It's only a year and a half. Then, we'll be back together."
"But, I—"
"I think you should have a house built for when I get out, and I'm living with you again." He paused. "Chief's got a few pieces of land. Pick one out that you like, and I'll pay for it. You design the home. Let Nikki pick out the color of the bedroom she wants. Maybe even have a big closet so she can make herself a clubhouse or fort in her room for her Barbies."
Nikki turned her head and looked up at him. "Yes."
Thorn chuckled. "I'm starting to think that's the only word you know, princess. You keep working on saying more, and the next time I talk to you, we'll talk about what color is your favorite."
"Wait." Jessy leaned back in her chair and exhaled, not wanting anyone to fill Nikki's head with dreams that wouldn't come true. "We can't do that. Not now."
"We're going to do the same thing we were doing before they slapped handcuffs on me. I want you and Nikki in a house." Thorn looked at his dad, who'd stood and walked away from the table.
Alone with Thorn, she whispered, "I can't build us a house."
"Chief will know people who can. You just have to tell them what you want."
"You're being..." She looked at Nikki, listening to the conversation. "Ridiculous."
Thorn kissed the top of Nikki's head. "Your momma is silly."
She gawked at him. Having never seen the side of Thorn that ignored imminent problems and instead focused on something so...insane as building a house while he lived in prison, she had no idea if she was supposed to believe him or if he was joking.
Chief returned and threw an armful of junk food on the table. "Eat up, son. I'm sure there is something in there Nikki would like to try."
Jessy watched her daughter and Thorn as if she was an outsider to how they lived their life. This was not how she raised her daughter. She never spent time dreaming about the impossible or filling Nikki's head with things that would never see the light of day.
Thorn opened a KitKat bar and handed half to Nikki, who promptly bit into the chocolate covered wafer. Never in her life had she ever felt like she came second in Nikki's life.
Until now.
"Give him this time," said Chief quietly beside her while Thorn talked with Nikki. "He needs to focus on the future and the things he can control from inside a cell."
"I don't know how I could possibly do this without him," she whispered, near tears.
"Right now, it's only important that you listen. Let him talk." Chief smoothed his beard. "I will be there for you when we walk out the door. Johanna, Sydney, Ashley, they're also willing to lend help if you'd allow them."
Her circle was small, and it wasn't as if she closed herself off to other women. She'd lost her high school friends the moment she became pregnant. Then, after giving birth, Nikki took up all her time. She'd leaned on Bee and Charlie because they were the only ones who believed in her and she was with them at least six hours of the day while she worked.
"Sweetheart?" said Thorn.
She snapped out of her thoughts and leaned forward. "Yes?"
"Is work going okay?"
She swallowed. "It's fine."
He opened another candy bar and broke it in half. She shook her head, stopping him from giving it to Nikki. Not used to eating junk food or putting a lot of food in her stomach since Thorn left, her daughter would end up throwing it all up if she wasn't careful.
"You're sleeping okay?"
She nodded. It was easier to give the illusion that she coped with all the changes than tell him the truth.
Her eyes burned, and she blinked, looking at Nikki instead of Thorn. Afraid the truth was written on her face. How was she supposed to live with herself?
It should be her that walks back into a cell when visitation is over.
"Give me your hands," said Thorn.
She reached across the table. He captured both of hers in his left hand while holding Nikki with his right. She clung to him, her throat closing.
"Don't go there." He gazed at her. "There's nothing I would change, sweetheart. This is the way I live my life. Get used to it. I'll always take care of you and Nikki. I need you to take care of me."
"Honey...?" She inhaled deeply. "That's not fair because loving you is easy and I'm making things so difficult for you."
His gaze softened. "If there was any doubt in your mind that I want you forever, take this as proof, Jessy. Take it, and hold on to it."
Her stomach fluttered. She inhaled swiftly, forgetting she sat in a room full of people and criminals and rules and depression. Thorn could make something so wrong feel wonderful.
Afraid to leave him, knowing that once she was alone, the guilt would take her to her knees, she made small tal
k. Nikki's eyes drooped, and Thorn cuddled her in his lap. This wasn't the way things were supposed to turn out.
Chapter Twenty Five
Charlie brought two pieces of apple pie out to the table. Jessy picked up her fork and took a bite. The diner closed five minutes ago, and the rush of dinner customers prevented her from taking a break earlier.
"I can't say I don't like the extra business the murder brought in." Bee swallowed and wiped her mouth. "I'm going to hire another waitress to at least help on the weekends. You shouldn't have to take time away from Nikki to wait on other people."
She wanted to work. The extra money, now that she wasn't saving for an attorney to fight for custody would come in handy. Nikki loved going to the Brikken daycare and playing with Chee and the other kids. It was the questions from the customers about the murder that constantly kept her on edge and went home with her at night.
Over the last week, she'd come to accept the endless reminders of what she'd done and the responsibility that hit her hard. Karma had extracted her revenge, and it was painful to be constantly reminded of a lie.
"I'll help out as much as I can." Because Thorn protected her from most everything, she wanted to face her punishments head on. "The diner is closed on Sundays, and that's the only day I couldn't work anyway. Since Nikki has made friends with the little kids at Brikken, I can afford to let her go to daycare there on Saturday."
Though when she'd offered to pay, Sydney and Kylie told her that Nikki's care was already paid for. She understood that Thorn was behind taking care of them. It wasn't the first time she'd been surprised by what he could do from inside a prison cell.
Johanna had brought her groceries every week and made a point of telling Nikki that the sacks contained some of Thorn's favorite foods.
Olin worked on her car in the middle of the night. She hadn't told anyone her oil light had come on and she'd been driving it anyway. The odd banging noise of him working outside had grabbed her attention on one of her sleepless nights.
While she hadn't gone out of her way to get to know Sydney, Kylie, and Ashley, they all made it a point to talk about kids, warming her to them through their bond of having children.