by Box Set
Lorne removes his arm from around my shoulder. He gets out of bed and fishes around for his clothes. “I trust you put him right and told him otherwise.”
I scratch my head. “I did my best, but I’m not really sure I got through.”
He looks at me face on.
“Frickin’ bollocks. It’s what you want, too.”
I wish I could deny it, but truthfully, yeah I do, even knowing that it’s unlikely to work out long term. I’ve got something out of the last twelve hours that I never expected to find. Of course I want to cling on to that.
“Last night was a lot of fun, Lorne. I’d have to be crazy not to want to repeat it. What are the chances of me finding two other crazily hot guys who are into me and each other? If you don’t know the answer, then let me tell you. I’ve been looking since I was old enough to realise that while one guy hitting on me could be hot, it was nothing compared to seeing two guys hitting on one another.
“That’s not what our deal was. You promised you wouldn’t make this about you.”
“I know, and I’m not. I’m not insisting on anything. What I want and what results are two entirely separate things.”
Chapter Sixteen
Lorne Everett
I knew it. I knew last night that I was taking a chance and it could all backfire. I shouldn’t be surprised that it has. Hell, I’m not surprised. Not one teeny fricken’ iota.
Lorne you stupid dick. Will you never learn?
Looks like I’m being passed over in favour of the girl again. Rather than staying long enough to pull on clothes, I grab them off the floor and streak across the lawn to the bathroom carrying them.
Once inside, I lock both the outer and inner doors. I’m not making the same stupid mistake as the other two. I want actual privacy while I collect myself in here.
There’s under floor heating, which thaws out my feet while I wait for the boiler to get the water temperature to near scalding. The pounding rainfall effect shower head launches a thousand needles into my skin. They warm and numb at least the surface. Nothing can touch what’s inside.
Fuck!
I should have bedded down with him in the lounge last night. Erected some clear boundaries.
I should never have listened to Mika’s plan or allowed myself to be swayed by her promises and the taste of her lips.
We should have sent her packing the moment she showed up.
Only I know that I could never do that, regardless of who it was. It’s not who I am.
It sucks deeply being one of the good guys.
This is so unfair.
I’ve just found him, and I’m going to end up having to let him go. It sucks. It sucks so hard that my insides feel as if they’ve been hacked at with a carving knife.
Maybe it’s for the best.
If he’s so besotted with her after so short a time, doesn’t it prove he wasn’t that committed to the idea of us? He’s said time and time over that he’s not gay. If he’s with her, he can have all the things nice heterosexual couples prioritize, and he won’t have to take any flak from his parents or whoever the hell it is he’s so afraid of coming out to.
But it was good. There was so much promise there. So very, very much…
I bow my head to the tiles and dry sob until my throat threatens to close.
I can survive this.
I can.
It’ll be fine—somehow.
Chapter Seventeen
Mikayla Ashton
“It’s ready in the lounge.”
Jasper’s call finally prompts me to move from the bed where I’ve sat frozen since Lorne bolted. I tiptoe through, aware of what would normally be the mouth-watering smell of bacon cooking if I wasn’t feeling sick to my stomach.
Jasper hasn’t just made drinks, he’s made full on English-breakfast and spread it all out in the lounge for us to sit down to.
“Where’s Lorne? Is he coming?”
“He went out.” I wave vaguely in the direction of the outside bathing hut.
“To use the loo or is he showering.”
I shrug. “Not really sure.”
“Okay, well I’ll just put his in the oven to keep warm. We may as well tuck in. Come on—” He pulls out a chair for me to sit on. “—toast’s getting cold.” He pours me tea and fruit juice and passes the ketchup.
I eat, but everything tastes like ash.
“Is it okay?”
“It’s great, thanks.” I squeeze out a smile for him.
After a couple of mouthfuls, Jas sets his knife and fork down. “Mikayla, what’s the matter? You’re not a veggie, are you?”
He glances horrified at what he’s served up: lard-fried bread, eggs, bacon, mushrooms, tomatoes, rounds of black pudding, and scalloped potatoes.
“No, I’m not veggie. I eat all of these things.” I’ve never been a fussy eater. It was never really an option at home growing up, not when the menu could change at the drop of a hat.
I put down my cutlery too. “I’m concerned about Lorne. What you were saying earlier…I don’t think…Jasper, I think it’d be best if you and Lorne spend some time figuring stuff out before deciding whether I’m a necessary part of the equation.”
“Don’t be silly. I already know you are.”
I sigh regretfully into my plate. “Lorne doesn’t think so.”
“Did he say that?”
“In not so many words.”
“Maybe you misheard.”
I totally didn’t.
“Come on, I saw how into you he was last night. I was looking right at him while he was inside you. We’ll talk to him once he’s out of the shower. Honestly, Mikayla—” He closes his hand over mine and squeezes. “—it’ll be fine.”
Jasper can bury his head in the snow and ignore reality, but that’s not me. I endeavour always to live in the real world. Slip into fantasy, and things can go downhill rapidly. But, I don’t know what else to do or say right now that won’t result in me hurting one or both of Lorne and Jasper. I’d rather leave here with my heart ripped open than that.
Note for the bucket list: Threesomes, while awesome, are ultimately a bad idea unless you really are three people out for some no strings fun, and you never have any intention of seeing one another again. Also, to avoid heartache, they should only be enjoyed with guys who aren’t serious daters.
Jasper did kind of surprise me with that. I thought he’d be the love ‘em and leave them type. Most pretty boys are.
He gives my hand another encouraging squeeze. “Finish your breakfast.”
“I’m not really all that hungry, but I’ll try.”
“You’ll be glad of the energy later on.”
“Oh, is something happening?”
He nods, and that charming grin of his stretches across his expressive face. Last night, when it was a forewarning of another Lana Bow anecdote, I wasn’t so entranced by it. Now, it makes my heart do a fun flip-flop inside my chest.
“More shagging, I hope.”
Jasper, bless him, is one of life’s eternal optimists.
Chapter Eighteen
Mikayla Ashton
We finish breakfast—well, Jasper finishes his. I mostly consume tea; at least a pint of it.
When we hear the door in the kitchen creak, Jasper rises to his feet. “Lorne?”
“Hello, anybody home?”
“Who’s that?” Jasper frowns at me.
I raise my hands, palms up. “I don’t know. Could be the housekeeper, I guess.”
“Here.”
That’s Lorne’s voice. He must have returned from his shower at the same time our unexpected visitor arrived.
“Mrs. Miggs, the owner’s representative.”
“Hey, I’m Lorne. I made the booking.”
“Lorne, yes, that was the name. I’m glad to see you and your friend, is it, made it here safe and well. I did worry about you being out on those roads last night. Horrible weather.”
“We got here ahead of the worst of it.”<
br />
Jasper and I move over to the doorway to better eavesdrop on the conversation. Mrs. Miggs is swaddled in multiple layers of clothing, including a headscarf and a hideous quilted jacket. She’s wearing fisherman’s waders over green corduroy trousers and has on mustard yellow gloves.
“Agency rep-cum-housekeeper,” I explain to Jasper. I’ve encountered her before on a previous stay at the cottage. “She’s a hopeless busybody.”
She smiles benignly at Lorne’s description of his journey here. I’m pretty certain Mrs. Miggs is already aware of their exact time of arrival. She’s that sort. The kind who spends most of the day fussing about behind the lace curtains and occupying herself out-front for fear of missing something.
“Well, it’s good to know you’re safe.” I thought I’d pop by and see if everything was satisfactory and to let you know the plough has been along and cleared the main roads hereabouts. The gritter’s been along too, so you can get onto the A-roads, no problem.
Jasper makes his presence known by pulling open the door and stepping into the kitchen. He shakes hands with her. “I’m Jasper. We weren’t planning an excursion, were we Lorne?”
Lorne is silent, something that Mrs. Miggs clearly finds uncomfortable. She fills the void with her breezy chatter.
“I wasn’t sure if you had anything planned, but I thought I’d let you know you have a departure window. There’s another weather warning for later today, and I don’t suppose they’ll send the plough again tomorrow. Not on a Sunday.”
“You mean if we don’t want to risk getting stuck here we should leave now?” Jasper asks.
She nods vigorously. “Yes, dear. Obviously it’s your choice. There’s no one booked in through the week, so it’s not a problem if you need to stay a few extra days, but I expect you have places to be. Work and such like.”
She spots me still in the shadow of the lounge door and blinks a half dozen times. “Oh, hello dear. What are you doing here?”
I’m obliged to step into the light. “Hello, Mrs. M. It’s Mikayla Ashton. I thought it was this weekend I was supposed to be here, but it turns out I got muddled with my dates.”
“You’d be the no show from last weekend.” She tuts irritably.
“‘fraid so.” I raise my hands and shoulders in an apologetic shrug. “Sorry. Anyway, these two gentlemen were kind enough to take pity on me and not send me back out into the snow last night.”
“You were here for the night?” There’s a definite scandalized whistle that occurs under her breath. “The property’s only for two, you know.”
“It wasn’t intentional.” Lorne, rather surprisingly, leaps to my defence. “But under the circumstances, it wouldn’t have been very gentlemanly to send her off onto those roads. I’d have been worried to death that I’d read about her in the news later—stranded woman frozen to death.”
“Well, yes, of course. That is very sweet of you to look out for her like that.” She pats Lorne’s arm in a matronly fashion before she turns her beady eyes on me. “However, the roads are passable again now, dear. Best you get on your way and stop intruding on their hospitality.”
Neither Jasper nor Lorne says anything.
“Of course, I guess I’ll get my stuff together.”
“I would. While the sun’s in the sky. And I’ll leave you pair be too, now that I’ve seen your faces and know you’re safe. Just leave the place as you found it whenever you decide to depart, as long as you’re gone by Friday lunchtime. Any extra days I’ll have the company invoice you for.”
“Thanks.” Jasper ushers her towards the cottage’s rear door. She flaps bewildered by her expedited exodus. Though she does manage to hold him off actually shoving her out long enough to give a cheery wave.
“Goodbye, then. Goodbye. I say, goodbye.” She’s gone all of thirty seconds before she sticks her head around the door again. “Forgot to say, there’s plenty of coal and logs in the store ‘round the back of the bathroom if you’ve not found it yet. Okay, goodbye again. Goodbye.”
This time she really does leave.
Jasper snaps the bolt across the inside of the door, just to make sure she doesn’t walk in when something else occurs to her to mention. He drags a hand upwards through the front of his hair, leaving the strands spiked. “What do we do? Do we chance it?”
He looks at Lorne, who just grunts.
“Are you actually going?” he looks at me.
I too look at Lorne, but he’s already turned his back on us both and is heading into the bedroom.
“I’m not really sure,” I mutter drearily. “Can’t say I’m desperate too, but I’m not sticking around if he wants me gone.”
Jas shushes me with a hiss and a fingertip pressed to my lips. “I’ll talk to him. I’m sure that’s not actually the case.”
I’d lay money on him being mistaken about that.
Chapter Nineteen
Jasper Frost
“Lorne, where are you?”
I find him in the bedroom, stuffing his belongings into his rucksack. I think Mikayla’s in the bathroom cleaning her teeth.
“I take it we’re leaving,” I observe of his packing. I trot over to the window and raise the privacy nets to look outside. The sky still looks clear, and there are signs of the snow melting, but over on the Mendip Hills in the distance, there’s a bank of snow white sky.
“There doesn’t seem to be any sense in sticking around and risking getting snowed in indefinitely.”
I don’t recall him being too worried about that fact before now. Our first day at Pinewood isn’t until Wednesday, so there’s half a week before we need to seriously worry about travelling.
“Slow down, Lorne. What’s this about? Are you having second thoughts about what happened between us last night?”
He stills and looks up at me from his hunched position over his bag. His eyes are hard and his lips are pulled into a sour pout.
“Of course not. I’ve no issue with what happened between us. Why would I? It’s what I wanted.”
“Maybe you don’t want it anymore.”
His fists curl around the fabric opening of his bag until his knuckles pale. His jaw takes on an iron rigidity.
“If you’re going to suggest that I want something, or rather somebody else, then you’re wrong. You are so fucking wrong, Jasper.”
“I see,” I say, disappointed to realise that Mikayla’s right. She is the issue. It’s not that he wants her, quite the opposite. He absolutely doesn’t want her here. Well, for the record, I do. And, I don’t understand his attitude. He was completely into her last night, but now he’s itching to push her out of the door. Why? It doesn’t make sense.
I go over to the bed and sit beside his pack. I stretch an arm over the top of the opening so he can’t work around me. “You need to clue me in, because I’m not sure what to think right now. Why are you in such a major funk about Mikayla all of a sudden?”
“She’s not meant to be here.”
“That wasn’t a problem for you when we were all sharing a bed last night.”
He bares his teeth. “Maybe not, but it’s a problem for me now when you’re all doe-eyed over her.” He shakes his head, then brushes a hand through the longer strands so that it’s pulled back off his face. “I knew it was bad idea. You had an enormous crush on her to start with, and now it’s a million times worse as she’s making the right noises and you’re picturing a rosy future together. There’s no place for me in that scenario, Jas.”
Oh, I get it now!
“You think that because I want her, that I no longer want you.”
He just regards a point somewhere over my shoulder, his face pinched into a sorry moue.
“Really?”
“I’m not saying that exactly. But eventually, if things continue, you’ll end up making a choice, and I’m not going to fool myself into believing I’d be the one you picked. Why would you? With her, you get normality. There’s no explaining to do. No horrible conversations with the paren
ts about things that frankly aren’t their business. Nor are you going to have to put up with squalid and sensationalist articles in the press. No one is going to ask you if you bottom or top.”
“I’m not Dare,” I murmur.
“What?” Pain flashes through the blue of his irises. Deep, raw, pain.
“I said, I’m not Dare.”
His mouth falls open, and he pales a little.
“Look, Lorne, I’m not going to pretend that I know anything about your relationship with him, and maybe I’m hitting way wide of the mark, but it seems obvious to me that you cared deeply about him, and that you hoped eventually he’d feel the same way. Instead, he left you in the lurch. Well, I’m not him and I’m not planning on leaving you. Not for Mikayla, and not for anyone else. Obviously, I can’t predict the future, but as I told you last night, I take relationships seriously. I don’t do casual. I’m an all-in or all-out kinda guy. If I say I’m with someone, then I mean I’m with them, through thick and thin, and whatever other nonsense the world throws at us. I’m a sticker, and I’m more than ready to give being your boyfriend a go. I’d just like you to consider allowing Mikayla to be part of our future too.”
I cup his cheek, but he turns his head away from me.
“Not because I want her there as a failsafe in case I can’t hack being thought of as that gay chap, but because I enjoyed what we did last night, and I want to enjoy it some more. I didn’t come here expecting to meet her, but I’m thrilled I did, and I want to know her better.”
Even though he’s turned away from me, I can tell he’s smiling over the memories of last night. “It was fun,” he confesses. “It’s a lovely speech, Jas.”
I smile, too. Now we’re getting somewhere.
“But no.”
“What?”
“It’s not a good idea.”
“Why?”