With a black hoodie pulled over his head, sunglasses shielding his eyes, and his lips flattened in a scowl that said, “stay away,” other passengers had let him be. Once, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a group of girls on their way to a bachelorette party at the next gate over point and whisper, but otherwise the only other time someone had recognized him was when he paid for a candy bar at one of the shops in the terminal. Standing next to a rack of gossip magazines, I glanced down and noticed one of them featured a small shot of he and Jillian on the corner of its cover. The woman ringing him up looked up sharply, stared for a fraction of a second longer than polite, and then thankfully went about finishing the transaction. If she had recognized Cameron Scott, Movie Star, she didn’t say. Then again, she probably saw famous people all day long and on the ladder of Hollywood elite, Cameron was still somewhere nearer to the bottom. We both knew that would change once he and Jillian did the talk show circuit and commercials advertising the movie started airing.
Without a lot of time to spare, we’d skipped the lounge and had gone straight to the gate where we’d boarded almost immediately. I was giddy knowing that in mere hours we’d be far, far away from every one and every thing associated with The Ties that Bind. Ten glorious, romantic days on Vancouver Island.
A couple of years back, I’d read about a tiny surfing town, Eagle Harbour, located at the literal end of the road. The travel blogger’s loving description of the village’s quiet beauty, rugged coastal landscape, and its surrounding temperate rainforests had me wanting to pack my bags for an immediate visit. Before we’d left the office yesterday, I’d showed her post to Cameron who’d readily agreed it sounded like the perfect place to unwind and find some solitude. Last night, after a few false starts, I’d booked us an oceanfront cabin a couple of miles outside of town in a national forest. Given that it was winter, we’d likely have the beach fronting the house to ourselves during the day while at night we could enjoy the hot tub while the surf pounded the shore just yards away.
With a full-time winter population of only sixteen hundred residents, Eagle Harbour would be the perfect place to get away from overly prying eyes and the incessant need for gossip. Without the need to constantly look over our shoulders and worry about who might be watching, we could finally discuss how we wanted to move forward, plan the rest of our lives together. Where just yesterday I’d been weary to my bones, today I was energized.
My mood was further buoyed as I took in our fellow first class passengers and realized there was very little chance of Cameron being recognized during the flight. Surrounded by business travelers with their laptops open to Excel spreadsheets, no one paid us the slightest bit of attention. Feeling it was safe to do so, I held Cameron’s hand for the first time in … months? He turned to me and flashed a smile, the relaxed and happy one I’d missed most.
“Thank you for arranging all this,” he said, squeezing my hand.
“The second Broderick gave us these next ten days away, I knew exactly where I wanted to go.”
“I thought you might plan something in Whistler since we haven’t gone skiing this year.”
“Too many people, not enough privacy,” I reminded him.
Covertly he glanced around the cabin and seeing no one looking, he leaned over in his seat and kissed me. The press of his full, soft lips against mine sent heat unfurling through my body where it settled in the pit of my stomach. When the pad of his thumb rubbed circles along the underside of my wrist, the heat unfurled and expanded outward. One touch from him could still affect me so strongly.
I cradled his cheek in my palm and kissed him back, my lips lingering on his. When the tip of his tongue ran along the seam of my lips, my body clenched in longing. I opened my mouth to let him in and tilted my head to deepen the kiss. Our tongues danced lovingly, playfully against one another before Cameron seemed to remember where we were and regretfully pulled away. Leaning his forehead against mine, a lovely smile crossed his kiss-moistened lips.
“I can’t wait.” His his voice dropped a few octaves to a sexy, throaty whisper that told me just how affected he was by our kiss too.
I shifted in my seat so that I faced him, giving me a better view of his muscular body seated next to me. Greedily, I took in his beautiful masculinity and savored it. I’d doubted my feelings at times, but I recognized that doubt was a reaction to my anger, humiliation, and heartache. I might not do it happily, but now that I’d been reminded how it could be with us, I vowed to stay the course if it meant a lifetime of having him beside me.
“I’ve really missed you. No matter how hard this gets, or how difficult everything may seem, don’t ever forget how much I love you. I’d do anything for you.” When I spoke, some of his outward happiness seemed to dim. A hardening of his eyes said he didn’t want to discuss it but there were things that needed to be said. Things I needed him to understand implicitly. “I can handle anything if it means when it’s all done you’re by my side but I need to know you’re there with me too. I can’t do this without your support as well. Please don’t ever doubt my commitment to you—”
“I don’t,” he said, his tone clipped. But then he exhaled and his shoulders relaxed. “I don’t blame you anymore Sarah,” he whispered in my ear so as not to be overheard. “I did at first, and I took it out on you in ways I shouldn’t have. You can’t ever know how sorry I am for that. I was so angry when you seemed to fall in line with whatever Broderick wanted without giving our relationship a second thought and I wanted to punish you for it; that’s why I went along with the amended timeline.” He leaned away to look and my eyes and I saw contriteness and worry there before he continued. “I know these past few months have been hell on you, even more so than they’ve been on me, and I can see the toll it’s taken.” He swallowed. “It took some time for me to accept it, but I know you’re doing all this for me, for my career. I want you to know that I do recognize the enormous sacrifice you’ve made for my career.”
His words unfurled the terrible vice-like grip that had crushed my heart since the first photos emerged of he and Jillian walking hand in hand around the farmer’s market Cameron and I normally shopped at. The bitterness that had taken root deep in my psyche since he’d begun spending evenings with her instead of at home with me and Duke. The humiliation and shame I’d had to endure when I had to explain to my mother while I heard the censure in her voice as she told me I was crazy for letting my fiancé spend so much time with a woman as beautiful as Jillian Templeton. The rage I’d felt when she’d said, blithely, that I was going to lose Cameron and it was all my fault.
As I let go of my sadness I turned my thoughts to our future. I pictured us growing old together, surrounded by our closest family and friends, our love strengthening over the long years we’d spend by each other’s side. I imagined what our children would look like, how we’d raise them together, and how proud they’d be of their dad. As proud of him as I was.
“It’s not just for your career Cameron. It’s for us, for the life we can have together. I know we could be happy together if none of this ever happened, but it did and I’m trying to make the best of it.” I held his hand tight in mine. “I’m almost thirty-four and I want to give you babies. The sacrifice I make now means in a year or two I can quit my job and we can make that happen. We can have a family together away from Hollywood. When I think about it like that, it’s no sacrifice at all.”
“You’re amazing,” he said, squeezing back. “I don’t deserve you.” His statement was punctuated by a sad smile.
“You do deserve me Cameron. We deserve each other.”
He took a deep breath and exhaled on a sigh. His eyes flicking between mine, he licked his lips and spoke. “Despite how it looks to the outside world, I know in my heart we’re not some whirlwind romance. I’ve wanted you for so long; I wished for you at night. And now that you’re mine, I’m not living up to my own hopes and dreams for us. I told myself that if you took me back, I’d do everything in my
power to be a better man for you but … I haven’t done that. I’ve only thought of myself and how I felt. No matter how hard I say I’m going to try, I end up hurting you. I sometimes wonder if it wouldn’t have been better if I’d just kept my feelings to myself – stayed away – so you could fall in love with someone worthy of you. Someone who doesn’t make you hide in the shadows but goes out of his way to tell the world how much he loves you, a man who screams from the rooftops how he can’t wait to make you his wife. Instead you’ve got me and I can’t help but think maybe you’ve settled for someone who can never be what you need. That you’re wasting your time on me.”
His confession left me breathless. I’d never seen Cameron so conflicted about himself, about the decisions he’d made in life. Since that night at Zuma Beach he’d been so assured, no-holds-barred when it came to being with me.
By all accounts ours was a whirlwind romance because of how quickly he’d moved us from the friend zone. I never in a million years expected he would ask me to marry him, much less for him to have done so as quickly as he had, but now that we working to find our way back to one another, I couldn’t fathom our relationship having taken a different path. From the moment he’d shown up in the parking lot to apologize for our drunken escapades to the day he’d been cast in The Ties That Bind, he pursued me with a single-minded passion. While it oftentimes left me reeling, I couldn’t imagine how our lives would have progressed if we’d gone the normal, traditional route. It seemed in our case, there had to be a monumental shift, something major that forced you to stop and take stock of the world around you or else we would never have taken the chance. It might not have worked for anyone else, but this was the people we were playing the cards we’d been dealt.
“You have to know I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else. I’ve loved you for so long I don’t know who I am without that. You already lived in here.” I brought my hand flush against my chest and felt my heart beating strong and steady for him.
“Thank you for loving me,” he whispered.
I settled my palms on his face and watched the myriad emotions he experienced play out across in his eyes. As I stared at him, my throat thick with emotion, they turned glassy. He took a deep, steadying breath and swiped at them eyes to clear his unshed tears. “I promise I’ll be a good husband to you.”
I had no doubt over the veracity of his words. He would be a good husband. We just had to get there first.
No doubt we were in for more difficult times to come, but I felt to the tips of my toes this time away would help me weather the coming storms.
***
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are making our descent into Vancouver International Airport. Please make sure your seatbacks and tray tables are fully upright and in the locked position and your seatbelts are buckled.”
While Cameron snoozed next to me, I’d spent the last half hour reading the same paragraph over and over again. I was in the middle of a book about a couple experiencing problems in their relationship because the man’s political ambitions cast the woman’s role in his life in a negative light. Some of the themes the author touched on had hit a little too close to home and I knew I should give up on the story, but with my own similar situation playing out daily I wanted so badly to get through their drama to the happily ever after all romances promised at the end of the book. If a politician could successfully manage his career with a woman who was bad for him, surely an up-and-coming actor could do the same? That their story was fiction didn’t seem to matter; I’d take any kernel of hope I could get.
As the wheels of our plane bounced and skidded on the wet runway, Cameron jolted awake with a start.
“Good morning sleepyhead.” I closed my Kindle and stowed it in my purse. “Good nap?”
“The best,” he remarked. “I dreamed I was going on a romantic vacation with the love of my life.”
“That does sound good. Anyone I know?”
“Only the most beautiful woman in the entire world. Her name’s Sarah. I think you’ve met her – gorgeous auburn red hair, captivating green eyes, the most sinfully decadent lips you’ve ever seen.” He leaned over and placed a quick kiss on said lips before glancing around the cabin to make sure no one had witnessed the exchange. “God, I hate all this sneaking around. I can’t wait to have you all to myself.”
“You might have mentioned that,” I smirked.
“Yeah, well. I mean it now more than I did even two hours ago.”
After what felt like the longest taxiing in the history of flights, our plane finally came to a stop at the gate. We unbuckled our seatbelts and Cameron stood to grab our carry-on luggage from the overhead bin. As he reached to pull down my bag, the faded blue Henley he wore slid up his torso, revealing the smooth hardness of his six pack beneath it. My mouth watered at the sight I’d been denied for far too long and I had to sit on my hands to keep from reaching out and running my fingers up the muscled expanse of skin.
That’s when I noticed the flight attendant looking at him with the same hunger I was sure were in my own eyes. It seemed I’d developed a habit of doing Very Bad Things at Very Bad Times because even though I knew what I was about to do was a Very Bad Idea, something inside of me snapped. I was so tired of having to share him with the world that no amount of logical thinking could have stopped me. I scooted over and before he could drop my bag down, I did reach up under his shirt and run my fingers over his warm, delectable skin.
The firm muscles of his abdomen jerked in response as he sucked in a startled breath at my touch. “Jesus Christ that tickles!” he laughed out, smiling down at me with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “You’re so getting it later.”
Surreptitiously, I flicked my eyes toward the flight attendant to make sure she was watching and then dragged them back up to Cameron’s face. “You promise?” I asked, dropping my voice to a husky whisper I knew made his balls ache with need. Seductively, I licked my lips and pulled my bottom lip through my teeth, keeping my eyes locked on his. When his pupils dilated to black orbs, a sexy, knowing smile spread across my face. As Cameron’s muscles flexed and bunched beneath my hand, I dragged my fingers slowly back down his stomach to linger at the button of his jeans. “What do are you going to do to me?” I asked, letting my eyes roam his body, going from his face down to his groin where his jeans had tightened around the thick heaviness of his erection.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he groaned out before grabbing my hand and pulling me into the aisle to follow behind him in a slow zombie walk off the plane.
As we made our way toward the exit, I caught the eye of the envious flight attendant. When I was sure she was looking at me I silently mouthed “mine” and walked past her onto the gangway. I didn’t look back to see her reaction.
Once we made our way through customs, we ran through the airport – me laughing hysterically as I hollered for Cameron, who trailed behind with our luggage, to hurry up – only barely catching our shuttle to a smaller south terminal for the forty-minute flight to Eagle Harbour.
By the time we stood in line at the Steelhead Airways desk, the the woman behind the counter was already processing other passengers’ tickets. When it was our turn to check in she explained the flight and processed our reservations, I still felt exuberant – powerful, even – from my small but marked show of defiance on the plane and those emotions fueled behavior I knew was unwise. And yet I couldn’t bring myself to care. I was on a much-needed vacation with my fiancé and as Cameron had remarked earlier, I wanted to shout from the rooftops that he was mine. It was immature and would likely prove unwise, but I was feeling possessive and eager, and more than anything, like a woman who was madly, deeply in love with the most spectacular man in the world.
As the clerk continued informing us about the boarding process, I leaned my body into Cameron’s and rested my head on his shoulder. I could tell the gesture startled him when quickly he glanced down at me and then back up at the woman in front of us. His strong body shifted
and then he pulled his arm out from under me, setting me off balance. At first I worried he was trying to shake me off, but then he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in tight against him. The woman’s eyes widened in surprise and she sucked in a quick breath before looking at me and then back to Cameron. Based on her reaction, I surmised she had recognized Cameron. Worse yet, she recognized me as not being his elegant co-star and supposed girlfriend. Her eyes darkened before turning back to me. When she found me staring at her defiantly, she quickly looked away and finalized our check in. With the side of my face flush against Cameron’s side, I couldn’t get a good look at him to see if he’d clocked her recognition but nothing in his body – no slight flinch or change in his stance – indicated he’d noticed. But as I’d recently learned, he could be very good at guarding his reactions when it was called for.
Concluding the check-in process, Cameron took our passports from the woman and, removing his arm from around me, slid the blue packets into the interior pocket of his puffy down jacket and grabbed our carry-on bags in each of his hands. I smiled at the clerk and she blushed an angry red before thanking me for flying the airline and turning away to file some paperwork. Laughing to myself, I followed Cameron to the waiting area where he waited, watching.
“You’re bad,” he whispered, without a trace of real condemnation.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. It’s like the second we left Southern California air space I had this overwhelming desire to behave like a normal couple, be a regular woman in love with her regular, albeit amazing, handsome, wonderful, intelligent fiancé, who is not a gorgeously charismatic actor on the cusp of major stardom. I know my behavior’s not the least bit responsible, especially as she had our passports in front of her and could clearly see who you are, but …” I trailed off. The truth was there was no excuse for my behavior. I had signed on to play my role and needed to stick to the plan. After all, hadn’t I just told Cameron I could do it for the sake of us?
Lucky Star: A Hollywood Love Story Page 22