“No kidding. Have you started flagging the guidebook for your next trip?”
“No plans yet. But I have those stickies ready to go,” she said, laughing. “Don’t poke fun at my awesome organizational skills,” she said, taking a sip of her wine. “What about you?”
“Nothing planned yet. Once the season wraps up and I know where I’m heading next year, I’ll have a better idea.”
“Next year? So, you might not stay with the Strikers?”
He ignored the thrill that rocked through him at how disappointed she sounded at the thought of him leaving.
“It’s a possibility. I only signed a one-year contract with the team, so next year is up in the air.”
“Do you want to stay here?” she asked, and the thrill ramped up again.
“I would stay if they offered. I like the guys on the team. I’ve played with a few of them over the years.”
“That’s good. I take it you didn’t request the trade?” she asked.
“No, I didn’t,” he stated, unable to mask the abruptness in his tone.
She sat up straighter. “Oh, I’m sorry to pry. I was just making conversation.”
He hated the awkwardness that settled over them. “You aren’t prying. It just wasn’t something I’d planned on. I liked playing in New York.” But his options had been taken away due to a stupid misunderstanding. Not that the parties involved had misunderstood, but the gossip surrounding it, and his reputation—it’d just been easier to accept the trade and move to the other side of the country.
“That sucks. But you like your new team, so I hope you can stay. You know, because you like them.” And with that—and the flush in her cheeks—his anger with everything that had happened vanished. This was why he needed to keep her around. She made him happier than he’d been in a long time, and not just superficially happy, that he let everyone see, but actually happy.
“Yes. And most of my family is here.” Not that he’d seen them. He would—eventually. Ally was home for Christmas and he wouldn’t have a choice.
“You never told me much about your family,” she said.
“Not much to tell. My parents and my brother live here. My little sister is away at college. I don’t see them often.”
“They must be excited that you are home.”
“I haven’t seen them since I’ve been back,” he said, unsure of why he was offering up information that he usually was tight-lipped on.
“Really? Why not?”
“Besides my uncle, and my younger sister who just got home for winter break two days ago, I’m not close to my family.” Just the idea of sitting at his parents’ dining room table in a few days irked him, but with the three-day break in his schedule, and the fact that he now lived on the same side of the country as his family, he no longer had an excuse to bail.
“What about yours?” he asked.
“Honestly, I’ve avoided them for the most part, but I’ll have to make an appearance for Christmas dinner this weekend.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” He didn’t want to talk about Michael, but he had to ask.
“Oh look, our food is here,” she said, her avoidance blatant as the waiter placed their dinner on the table.
“I’m here to listen if you want to talk. And I’m still available to kick Michael’s ass if you want.”
Chapter 8
Why did he have to say shit like that? Be so understanding and sweet? And why had she agreed to dinner? Nothing good could come from this, but she couldn’t stop herself from saying, “Thanks. I’m here to listen, too.” She was getting in deeper than she should, and the softening of his face at her comment made her want to know what happened with his family, but she wouldn’t pry—yet. They were still on tentative ground.
“Everything’s fine, and it’s great to see my uncle on a regular basis. It’s been years.”
Dammit. She was itching to ask.
“So, are you coming to our game tomorrow?” he asked.
She tried not to get whiplash from the quick subject change. Family was definitely off the table.
“I didn’t plan on it. That game the other night was my first, and I’m not really a sports fan,” she said, wondering if she was imagining the brief flash of disappointment in his eyes. Why should he care if she liked hockey? Or showed up at a game? “Hockey’s so fast, I didn’t know what was going on.”
“That we can fix. I can answer any questions you have. It takes a few games, but you’ll get it. Didn’t you have fun at that last one?” he asked.
“It was okay, just a lot to take in, and I couldn’t follow the puck,” she said, refusing to admit how hot he’d been on the ice, and the excitement she witnessed with each goal, regardless of which of his teammates scored.
“Just okay?” His voice was incredulous as he leaned back, his hand pressed to his chest in horror.
“Oh, stop,” she said, reaching out to swat his hand, then pulling back immediately as heat rushed through her at the brief contact. Why had she touched him? It never ended well when she did. That was a blatant lie. It always ended way too well when she touched him. She never wanted to stop touching him as soon as she started. She stifled a breath when he reached out, and grabbed her hand, linking his fingers with hers. She couldn’t think when he touched her. Her mind and body instantly returned to Italy. They’d existed in a perfect bubble for that week. How she wished they could exist there permanently.
It was a ridiculous thought, but it didn’t stop her from having it.
“What are you thinking about? I’m sure hockey didn’t put that blush in your cheeks,” he said. She cursed her open-book face.
“Nothing. Must be the wine,” she said, fiddling with her glass, refusing to meet his gaze.
“Right. The wine. Don’t you wish we could go back?” he asked, and she couldn’t resist looking up at him. She bit back her indrawn breath at the sincerity in his eyes. She’d do anything to go back. To change how she’d left things. But they couldn’t, and picking up where they left off also wasn’t an option. There were too many variables.
“Maybe one day I’ll return. It was a great vacation.” She attempted to sound nonchalant but she wasn’t fooling him, if his grin was anything to go by. “Now, tell me why I need to love hockey,” she said, pulling her hand free and downing the rest of her wine. Not that getting tipsy around him was a good idea, but she needed to do something with her mouth before she reminisced further and pressed her lips to his to see if his kiss was just as magical as she remembered. Yeah, she should lay off the wine after this—maybe one more glass.
“Because I play it,” he said, shooting her a grin, his clear blue eyes sparking the butterflies in her stomach to warp speed.
She smiled. “Any other reason? And why didn’t you tell me you played hockey when we were in Italy?”
“Because you said you just wanted to have fun, no talk of jobs, last names, family…” he trailed off.
“Yeah, that last one definitely bit me in the ass,” she said, shaking her head.
“And it was nice to have someone not know that I was a professional athlete. I was able to be normal. Have fun.”
“Because being a star athlete is so awful?” she teased.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love playing professionally. I’m living out a dream that I’ve had since I was a kid. But sometimes the attention is too much. It was nice to just be Ethan for once. Like a fresh start.”
His tone was wistful, and her heart clenched. Something happened with that trade this summer, and she itched to pry, but resisted.
“I can’t begin to understand that, but I do understand a fresh start. Now tell me more about this sport you love so much.” Yes, hockey would distract her from wanting to reach across the table.
“I’d rather talk about Italy,” he said, and heat shot through her body.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Italy wasn’t a safe topic, it would lead to memories that she should forget. And while he no lo
nger appeared mad at her for how they ended, she wasn’t sure picking things back up again wouldn’t bite her in the ass down the road.
“Don’t overthink it. What is so wrong with friends reminiscing about a vacation? Next time we’re in Italy, we are going to explore Lake Castiglione more. That was the day you finally ditched the guidebook.” And there was that crooked smile again. God, she loved that damn smile.
“That’s also the day you got us lost. And almost ran out of gas in the middle of the Italian countryside,” she said, shaking her head. Trying not to remember the panic attack she’d had on the side of the road, or how he’d calmed her down, taking the time to reassure her instead of claiming she was overreacting as her ex had done every time she’d panicked. No. She didn’t want to think about Michael anymore. She wanted to focus on how sweet Ethan had been that day. And then she’d left him the following morning. God, she was such a chicken. She was tired of being a chicken.
He grabbed her hand, and she was lost in his gaze. The mixture of concern, question, and hope held her captive, and she linked her fingers with his. His thumb brushed along her palm and she shivered.
“But I wasn’t really lost. Just taking the scenic route.” He’d said the same thing at the time, and she smiled.
“You’re such a liar. We were totally lost. I swear you drove us around in circles for over an hour.”
He grinned and shrugged. “You say lost, I say scenic.”
“Still not funny. What if we’d really run out of gas and no one found us?” she asked.
“Where’s your sense of adventure?”
“It’s subdued and aided with a guidebook,” she said, giving him a small smile.
“That guidebook,” he said, shaking his head. “So many pink flags.”
“But I visited them all and had a very successful and enjoyable trip,” she said, trying not to huff when he made fun of her organizational skills.
“I hope that I had something to do with the enjoyable part. That it wasn’t just museums and churches that did it for you.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, and she laughed.
“That’s so wrong. And yes, you aided in the enjoyable part.” Her cheeks were flaming at this point, and as he ran his thumb along her palm, the rest of her body flared to life, and her breath caught in her throat.
“Good to know. And it’s mutual, Penny,” he said, and she officially stopped breathing.
“Ethan, you should stop,” she whispered as he leaned in. She should tug her hand from his, but she couldn’t will her body to pull away. And when had he slipped into the seat next to her?
“But you don’t want to and neither do I.” There was no other word to describe it. His eyes smoldered, and she wanted to disappear into their deep blue depths. She wanted him to always look at her the way he had in Italy—the way he was looking at her now. She’d never felt more cherished—more wanted—than she did when he stared at her. And she was tired of resisting what was so blatantly obvious, so she leaned in, and let the magnetic pull do the rest.
His lips brushed hers softly, and she melted closer, the heat from his hand cupping her face, stole her breath and everything around her disappeared as her focus narrowed down to this one moment. Kissing him opened the floodgates to every memory she had of her time with him in Italy. Every soft caress she tried to ignore, the soft sounds of his groan against her mouth as he kissed her harder, taking the breath from her body.
She slid to the edge of the seat, wishing she could climb into his lap, and tilted her head, her tongue darting out to trace along the seam of his lips. His hand settled at the small of her back, his fingers dancing along her spine, and a shudder rolled through her. His lips pressed harder, and she opened her mouth, thrilling as his tongue surged inside, and they swallowed each other’s moans. They fit together perfectly. And the months of separation faded away. She’d kiss him forever if she could.
“Ethan?” a woman’s voice called out.
Ethan’s body stiffened, and he broke the kiss. She didn’t miss his sharply indrawn breath before he turned to face the intruder. “Julie. Darren.” His tone was casual, but held a tense bite.
Julie? Wait. She knew that name. No. It wasn’t possible. Penny looked up at the couple standing in front of their table. They were a gorgeous couple. The woman was tall, statuesque, with a willowy build. Her light blond hair fell in waves so perfect they rivaled a Pantene commercial. Even if her name wasn’t Julie, Penny would’ve hated her. The man at her side was handsome. Dark hair cut short and eyes that perfectly matched Ethan’s.
“It’s been a long time,” the man said. Penny thought Ethan had called him Darren.
“Yes, it has,” was Ethan’s clipped response.
“Will you be at Christmas dinner?”
“Not sure yet,” Ethan said. The tension vibrated off of him.
“Don’t you have a break in games at Christmas? Mom was hoping you’d come. Ally’s already home, but I’m sure you knew that,” Darren said.
Mom?! No. Not possible.
“I’ll try to make it.”
Penny nudged him, giving him a soft smile when Ethan turned to look at her. The light in his eyes had vanished, and she wanted to punch their intruders for that alone.
“Sorry, Penny, this is my brother, Darren, and his wife, Julie.” The word wife came out as a sneer. His brother? This couldn’t be the same Julie that Ethan had dated. Penny tried to keep her head still and her mouth closed, but all she wanted to do was gape. No wonder Ethan didn’t want to discuss his family. Although, they could both commiserate about their shitty relatives.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Penny replied, giving Julie and Darren a tight smile before focusing back on Ethan. He gripped her hand under the table, and she ran her thumb along his palm. The anger radiated off him, and she hated it. Their perfect moment had vanished.
Dammit. She’d finally kissed him again—and she wanted a repeat—but his brother and his ex-girlfriend were a major mood killer. Holy crap, it was like a daytime TV nightmare right in front of her. A slew of questions rolled through her brain, and she itched to blurt every one of them out, but she held it together. Explanations could come later.
Julie and Darren murmured their greetings, and Ethan just nodded and kept his focus on Penny. She tried not to fidget in her seat.
“We should let you get back to your meal,” Darren said. “And we hope you’ll make it to Christmas. Ally—and everyone else—will be heartbroken if you don’t come.”
Penny stared back at Darren. The sincerity in his voice appeared genuine, but the man had married his brother’s girlfriend, so Penny took that sincerity with a large grain of salt.
“We’ll see,” Ethan muttered, and it was like he’d disappeared. Was he still hung up on his ex?
“Nice to meet you, Penny,” Darren said with a final nod, before he led Julie away from the table.
Penny pulled her hand from Ethan’s and looked him straight in the eye. “So, Julie? Please tell me your ex didn’t marry your brother.” She refused to let that elephant go unnoticed.
He hated the look in her eyes and let out a harsh laugh. He’d always kept this nightmare close to the vest, another reason why he’d avoided coming home, but there was no getting out of the conversation he never wanted to have.
“I think you already know the answer to that question.”
“Wow. That’s—that’s something.”
Questions swirled in her eyes. “It’s something. Sorry about that. I haven’t seen them in years. At least six years.”
“So, your ex and your brother,” she prodded.
“Yes. My ex and my brother. I’d love to tell you that they hooked up after Julie and I broke up, but that would be a lie.” He hated how bitter he sounded, but it still pissed him off. His goddamn brother.
“Can we talk about it?” she asked.
“You sure you want all the gory details? It’s worse than what happened with Michael.”
“If you want to tell me.�
� She held his gaze, and surprisingly all he saw was shock and anger. Pity was usually in the forefront when he started his tale—another reason he kept it to himself as much as possible. But he owed her an explanation after he’d shut down on her when Darren and Julie had arrived.
“Julie and I started dating in high school. After I was drafted, I continued to play with my juniors team and then moved to the AHL. I also moved around to a few different teams. Because of the uncertainty, Julie stayed here. She went to college, and we visited as much as we could. I knew my big break was coming. I’d been playing for New York’s minor affiliate and had been called up a few times, and they were finally ready to keep me up. Sam, my agent, was finalizing my new contract, and I flew home to surprise Julie and give her the good news. She’d just finished her master’s degree so I was hoping she’d move out to New York with me.”
He paused and took a gulp of his beer. “I showed up at her apartment. I had a key, and I let myself in. And walked in on her and my brother. I lost it. Yelled and destroyed a few pieces of furniture.” He shook his head, the image of Julie rolling around in bed with his brother was forever burned into his brain. “Not my finest moment.”
She squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry, Ethan.”
“They’d been hooking up for months. Darren had just finished law school, and I was a hockey player that might never stay with the big leagues. She took the stable option.”
“Don’t you dare justify her actions. What she did—what he did—is reprehensible. Your own brother.”
“Yes.” He let out another harsh laugh. “But the joke was on her because the next week I signed a multi-year deal with New York and never looked back. Haven’t seen either of them since right after I caught them. Needless to say, that was a wedding I skipped.”
“Oh my God. How did your family react? I mean, they got married. Did they elope?”
“Nope. Had a traditional wedding, from what I was told. My little sister said it was rough for a while, but my parents supported the marriage. I’ve stayed away ever since.” It still burned when he thought about it, but in the last few years, his anger and hurt rested solely with his brother and family. He didn’t miss what he’d thought he’d had with Julie. He missed his family.
Breakout (San Francisco Strikers Book 1) Page 9