“All you can do is be there for her. You were there for her, right? You did listen and offer a shoulder to cry on, right?” The panic in her voice is insulting. What kind of person does she think I am?
“Of course I did.”
“Thank goodness,” she says on a relieved exhale.
“Why do you sound so shocked? I’m a nice guy sometimes.”
I can hear her rolling her eyes through the phone. “I know, Dan. I know.”
“Good. Well, I have to go.” I bring back my sad voice. “Thanks for listening.”
“No problem, dude. Talk to you later.”
I check the time as I press “end call.” It’s 10:24. If I’m correct, and let’s face it, of course I’m correct, she should be calling Zelda in about ten minutes. After she tells Logan the whole story.
I swear, I could rival the Black Widow in the skill of people manipulation. I’ll have proof tomorrow.
Zelda
When my phone rings at 10:35 at night, I’m kind of shocked. It’s pretty late for Maddie to be calling, so I hope it’s not an emergency.
“So, I just got a call from Dan,” she says.
My heartbeat speeds up. “Is he okay?”
“No,” she answers bluntly.
I sit up in bed, my heart going ninety to nothing. “Oh my God, what happened?”
“Well, he told me something about his online girlfriend that has me a little, let’s say, confused.”
I relax slightly, grateful that he’s apparently physically okay, but then I fully realize what she just said. My heart drops hard like the beat in a Beastie Boys song. I don’t know what to say.
Maddie continues. “You’re her, aren’t you? You’re the girl Dan’s been talking to online.”
Deep breaths, Zelda. I knew this had to happen at some point. I just didn’t expect it to happen like this.
I close my eyes. “Yes.”
It’s quiet on her end for a second, then she giggles. Her giggles become louder and harder until she’s full-on laughing her head off. “This is the best thing ever!”
That was not the response I was expecting. “You’re not mad?”
“Good God, no. So, tell me. What’s he like when he’s not being, ya know, himself?”
I laugh as my heart puts itself back in place. “He’s surprisingly nice, if you can believe it.”
“I can believe it,” she says. “Dan can be a tough pill to swallow, but deep down, he’s really a big ol’ softy. So, why’d you do it?”
“I don’t know. It’s a long story.”
“Zelda, it’s Friday night and this is the best thing that’s happened all day.” I hear someone clear his throat in the background. That must be Logan, considering her next words. “I mean, the second best. I have all the time in the world is what I’m trying to say. So spill it.”
It feels good to explain the whole crazy story. How it started as this petty thing on my part, then turned into something else. How in the beginning I was holding this weird grudge against him for being popular, and how I felt betrayed by that. And now, after getting to know him, I realize how stupid that was.
I finish my tale of intrigue with, “I’m not sure what to do now. He asked if we could maybe video chat, and I dodged the question. I haven’t talked to him since.”
“Well, you must know how I feel about you two. I think you’d be perfect for each other. You wouldn’t put up with any of his crap, and he’d probably treat you like a queen because he’s not the type of guy to do anything half-ass.”
It’s my turn to laugh hysterically. “Yeah, right. There’s no way Dan would ever be interested in me like that after this. At this point, I’ll be happy if he doesn’t hate my guts for the rest of eternity once he finds out.”
“You’re kidding, right? There’s definitely a spark between y’all. Take my word for it. Anyway, I need to go, but you keep me updated on any and all happenings, yes? I have to know how all this plays out.”
“Will do,” I say and hang up.
Poor delusional Maddie. Her ’ship is just not going to sail. There’s no way that Dan will have any kind of feelings for me. I’m me for goodness sake. I’m super-clumsy, opinionated, argumentative, red-haired and freckled me. I’m not saying I won’t find that person one day. I’m sure there’s someone out there who’ll be able to tolerate me. But that person isn’t Dan Garrett.
Is it?
Chapter Nineteen
Dan
The next day, I stroll into The Phoenix. Maddie and Logan are hunched over a comic, so she barely looks up when I speak.
“Hey Maddie, can I borrow your phone? Mine just died and I need to Google something.”
“Sure.” She slides her phone across the table.
I pull up her recent calls and grin. There I am and directly after me is Zelda Potts. I have confirmation.
“What are you Googling? Please tell me it’s not something like how to build a spy drone because I do not want to have to clear my search history,” she says when they finish the book.
I spent all morning planning out this interaction and the pay-off is going to be sweet. “I was wondering who the smartest person in the world is.”
She trades a scowl with Logan, who says, “I don’t think that’s determinable, dude. I mean, I guess it is if you’re going by IQ. But even then it’s not like they know every person in the world’s score.”
“Oh really? Because this phone just gave me a clear answer.”
“Which is?” Maddie asks.
I flip the phone around and show her recent calls list. “Me! I knew it was Zelda! And I knew that if I gave you enough hints, you’d figure it out, too. So, what did she say?”
Maddie’s eyes go wide and she pushes away from the counter, rolling back in the office chair. She grabs a big stack of comics and zooms into an aisle. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I’m right behind her as she pretends to busy herself by putting out the books. “You’re so transparent. You have to tell me. You owe me.”
“How do I owe you?”
I throw my hands up. “I was instrumental in you two dorks getting together. Now tell me or I’ll get Logan to.”
She squints her eyes at me. “He wouldn’t tell you.”
I squint right back at her. “Wanna bet?”
We crane our necks around one of the long shelving units to look for Logan. He’s suddenly nowhere to be seen. Smart guy.
“Come on, Maddie. Do a guy a favor. Please?” I clasp my hands in front of me and go down on one knee.
She hugs the books to her chest and furrows her brow.
“I’m begging here, dude. And you know I never beg. This is serious.”
She relaxes her shoulders a little. “Why do you want to know?”
She’s softening, I can tell, so I lay it all out. “I like her, okay? But I can’t do anything unless I know the truth about why she did all this. It’s a trust issue.”
“Why don’t you just ask her yourself?” She walks away, back toward the counter.
“Because I don’t want to scare her off. And because, believe it or not, I want to be romantic and junk. Ya know, make a grand gesture.”
She stops suddenly and whips around. “Awww. You guys are adorable.”
I roll my eyes. “Aren’t we, though? Now, please, tell me what she said.”
She purses her lips and looks at the ceiling. After a few seconds, she makes a decision. “Okay, fine. Let’s sit down.”
A satisfied smile spreads across my face.
Smartest person in the world. I’m going to have a T-shirt made.
When Maddie’s done, I’m reeling from the information. I never realized Zelda felt that way. It’s been one misunderstanding after another.
“Okay, I’ve told you everything. Now, call Zelda and hash this out.” Maddie shoves her phone in my face.
“Uh, no,” I say, pushing the phone away. “That’s not how this is going to go down.”
Her eyes widen. “Uh, yes,
it is. I’m not lying to her about what I’ve told you. You can do your grand romantic gesture right now. Go on, do the thing!”
“I can’t just ‘do the thing,’ cheerleader. I’m going to need time.”
She doesn’t speak for a bit, presumably because her brain is working hard again. Finally, she puts a hand to her forehead and looks down. “Fine. But don’t take forever, okay?”
Zelda
On Monday, I avoid Dan like the plague, which isn’t easy. He keeps trying to corner me, but I’m always quick to dodge him. He may be fast, but I’m small and good at hiding. By the end of the day, Dan has almost worn me down. I’m getting to the point where I just want to get the whole thing over with, so when someone taps me on the shoulder while I’m grabbing stuff out of my locker, I almost just blurt out that yes, I am FinityGirl, damn it! But when I turn, it’s not Dan standing there. It’s Donovan.
“Zelda, right?” he asks. His whole crew or posse or whatever you call them stand behind him with looks of anticipation.
My shoulders fall and I want to disappear. “Yes, my name is Zelda and yes, I know it’s from a video game.”
Donovan’s brow furrows. “Uh, okay. Anyway, look, I just wanted to say sorry for calling you Mrs. Potato Head. I was a real douchebag and I shouldn’t have done that. And what Martin did at the movies was also really bad. I’m going to talk to him, maybe make him apologize, okay?”
I don’t know what to say. I’m still waiting for the punch line, but it never comes. And it looks like his friends are as shocked as I am, because they’re looking at him like he has two heads.
Finally I decide that this must be a trick. Like he’s waiting for me to accept the apology before he lays down whatever zinger he’s planned out.
“Um, okay. I, uh, accept your apology.” I prepare myself for the upcoming burn.
“Great. So, see ya ’round.” He waves bye and he’s off, strutting down the hall like it’s just another day.
I’m totally dazed as I watch him walk away. In the distance, Dan leans against the lockers, a smile scrawled across his face. It isn’t a smug smile, though. It’s more like he’s listening to “What a Wonderful World” in his head. He pushes off the lockers and heads my way. And I’m super thankful that Donovan intercepts him because I really don’t feel like finding a cabinet to hide in at the moment.
I turn, the fear of the Donovan situation quickly evolving into elation, and almost smack into Beth.
“There you are. Want a ride?”
I immediately say yes.
We’re bumping over the railroad tracks in front of the college when she asks, “So, when are you going to ask Dan to meet?”
I stumble over my words. “Uh, I did already, r-remember?”
“Liar. I was not expelled from my mom’s lady parts yesterday, ya know? If you actually had, it would have already happened and you would’ve already told me about it. So?”
I sigh. “I don’t know. I am really ready to get it done. I just… It’s confusing.”
“Ask him to meet you on New Year’s Eve on the river bank for the fireworks. At Julien’s, that place is great. They have leather booths and those awesome giant coke floats. Oh my God, how adorkable would you two be, sharing one of those with two straws. Awww!” She smacks me hard a few times on the shoulder.
I rub the sore spot but laugh at the same time. “I am not going to share a coke float with Dan.”
“But the Christmas lights will still be on and people will be all happy and stuff. Come on, it’s the best idea ever. It’ll be so romantic.”
“I don’t want romance, Beth. I’ll be spilling my guts about how I tried to trick him. He won’t be in the mood for romance, either.”
She glares at me, unconvinced.
“Whatever. I’ll think about it, okay? Let’s go to your house and decide what we’re going to cosplay for next year’s NerdCon.”
“Okay, I won’t bug you anymore about it. And I think we need to do something with wings. I’ll look amazing in wings.”
Once we’ve narrowed our costume ideas down to fairy, gender-swapped versions of Mario and Luigi, or angel versions of a couple of our favorite fictional characters who unfortunately died in the Harry Potter books, Beth takes me home. A new chapter of a fanfiction that I’ve been obsessed with has been posted, but I can’t seem to focus on reading it. That whole Donovan situation was very twilight zone.
I’ve already figured out that Dan is not a horrible person and now I have to come to terms with the fact that Donovan might not be a total dick, either. I’ve labeled them both as “popular,” which in my head automatically meant jerks, but they’ve proven me wrong. There are still other people who’ve treated me like dirt because we’re in different social circles, I assumed. But was I ever anything other than dismissive of them as well? I’ve never said anything nice to, say, Cindy LeDeaux. All my manners seem to go out the window when I get near someone who’s considered popular.
My God, I’ve been so petty and stupid and childish.
Maybe it’s not about being a nerd or a jock, or popular or unpopular. Maybe it’s just about being.
Now, if only the rest of the school realized this.
Honestly, I didn’t actually start this stupid plan in the name of science. It was revenge, plain and simple, but maybe the plan has led me to something bigger and better.
Then there’s flipping Dan Garrett, who keeps invading my thoughts.
I could sit here and go back and forth over whether to ask Dan to meet or not. Or I could grow a pair.
I pull up the chat window on my laptop.
Chapter Twenty
Dan
I’m trying, really I am, but I can’t seem to come up with the perfect romantic gesture. And it has to be perfect. I’m desperate, so I decide to go downstairs to ask Mom for advice. I’m just about to put my foot on the bottom step of the stairs when a bone-chilling yell comes from the kitchen. “Daniel Jordan Garrett, get down here right now!”
Since I’m Todd Garrett’s son and very used to hearing his angry voice, I spin on my heel and head back up to my room. Maybe if I hide he’ll think I’ve been kidnapped, and then turn into some Liam Neeson type of dude and focus his fury on the fictional kidnappers. Then I can plan my escape to Mexico.
Unfortunately, he’s at the bottom of the stairs before I can round the corner at the top.
“Dan, what is this?”
I turn slowly, wondering what in the hell I missed. Between his thumb and forefinger he holds a small container of garlic butter that came with the pizza I ordered when they were away. I forgot I put it in the refrigerator. Like an idiot.
“I, uh…” I kind of snicker because I can’t believe I’m about to get laid into for eating pizza. Any normal teenager would just apologize and go on about their business. But I think it’s pretty obvious that I am not a normal teenager. I’m a fed up teenager. “You know what? I ordered pizza. And then I ate it. And it was the best freaking pizza I’ve ever had in my entire life.”
His eyes begin to bulge and his face reddens. “We discussed this. You can’t slip up. If you slip up once, you’ll slip up again and again and you’ll lose focus and—”
“I also went to a party during the Christmas Festival. It was a rager! There were tons of people there and the cops showed up. Now, let me ask you: which is more important to you? The fact that I cheated on my diet or the fact that I could have been arrested by your good friend, Mr. Bobby? Because I’m not sure which one makes you more upset. And, I’m sorry, but that can’t be good.” I get louder as I go on. “And you know what? I—”
He stops my ranting by waving a hand, then squints at me, probably to keep his eyes from popping out of his head. “I can’t believe you’re talking to me like this!” He moves forward to come up the stairs, but Mom stops him.
She touches Dad’s shoulder. “Let Dan talk, Todd. I want to hear this. Go ahead, honey, say what you want to say.”
No turning back now. I’m banking
on Zelda’s wisdom. “Dad, I love you, but you’re putting too much pressure on me. There’s the diet, the basketball that I only started doing because you wanted me to, and the stress of getting good grades. I mean, you won’t ease up on anything. You won’t let me go to a movie, you won’t let me even go to a LARP game, which has always been something I love to do, and you degrade it and call it a waste of time. I swear if this keeps up, I’m going to explode. I’m going to snap. Maybe I’m snapping right now.”
The silence stretches, and I don’t break eye contact with Dad. He turns to Mom with a confused look on his face. She just shrugs, and I get the feeling that she actually agrees with me. Dad turns his baffled face to me then walks away. I hear the glass doors to the backyard close, and I’m just thankful that he didn’t slam them.
Mom crosses her arms. “Were you safe at this party?”
“Yes, ma’am. I didn’t even have a drink.”
She nods slowly. “Good.” Then she lets out a long sigh. “You should probably go hang out somewhere else for a while. Give your dad a little time to think.” The relief I feel at her words is the best thing ever.
I grab my keys and am out the door in seconds.
For a moment, I feel liberated. I feel like skipping through a field of freaking daises and stuff. With bunnies and squirrels and maybe some badass cheetahs. I’ve finally come clean with Dad and all I can do is hope he understands.
But what if he doesn’t? How do we go forward from there? I think the only solution for the way I feel right now is obvious. Sushi.
Once sushi has been thoroughly consumed, I go over to Logan’s house. Monday night is family night for the Scotts, so they’re probably just finishing up dinner and are about to play some board game. Martha has gone all out this season with her landscaping. There are all these decorative cabbages lining the front walkway and the only reason I know what they are is because I used to spend a lot of the summer with my grandparents. My MeeMaw was and still is the light of my life, so I would always listen when she told me about her gardens. I could totally own as a horticulturalist.
Romancing the Nerd Page 15