Bearing It All

by Vonnie Davis

  Ronan shifted to his side and rolled her to tuck her curly hair under his chin. Slowly his mind coalesced again and his breathing returned halfway to normal. Bloody hell! There’s no way I can have another mind-blowing climax like that. Surely a man is given only one sweet ride to heaven and back in his lifetime.

  “Your tattoo is more than a full sleeve, it runs over your shoulder, down over one pec, and to your waist in the back. I like the design.” Anisa ran her hands up and down his back and over his arse. “You know I’m going to have to do it.” She batted her eyelashes and he suspected trouble was brewing.

  “Do what?” He was learning his woman could be a tad sneaky.

  She kneed his side, rolling him onto his stomach, and straddling his back, grabbed his cheeks, and bit his arse. Not one cheek, but both. Och, she was in so much feckin’ trouble. A giggle burst forth as she rolled off him. “I was right. You do have a biteable ass.”

  Ronan removed the condom and tossed it in the wastebasket. Then he straddled her waist. “Quite pleased with yerself are’na ye?” She batted her eyelashes and he laughed in return. He laughed from the bottom of his soul, fer his heart was near to bursting with love fer her. This woman was like no one he’d guessed would ever come into his life—a woman he could love so easily. Sweet Lord, how he wanted her with him forever.

  “Tell me how someone as delightful as ye never married. Or are ye married?” Christ, he hadna thought of that possibility. She wore no ring, but that might be so she could do mechanical work, if the need arose. Bloody hell, had he just bedded another man’s wife?

  “I was married to my career. From time to time, I dated. Nothing as intense as what you and I are experiencing so soon after reconnecting. Of course, since I’ll be on the run and in hiding the rest of my life, marriage is out of the question for me.”

  He’d never considered getting married, because most women would plead for a bairn soon after. Now, after meeting Anisa, loving her, and watching her bat her eyes in that flirtatious way she had, the thought of marriage was nay so distasteful. The woman was pure enchantment.

  “I will keep ye safe, me Beauty. Taking care of ye from now on is me job. One I undertake gladly for ye are me woman. What about bairns? Do ye want bairns?”

  “Babies? Children?” She ran her hands up his abs and over his pecs. “With the job I had—long and irregular hours…last-minute trips that could last upwards of a month—what kind of mother would I have been? Besides, I don’t know if I have any of the mothering instinct in me. I’m military precision, devoted to my job.” Her eyes rimmed with tears. “Or I was. Now, I’m rather lost, except for being with you.”

  Ronan shifted off of her, pulling the covers over them as they lay on their sides, stroking each other while they talked, and exchanging a kiss when the urge struck. Dear Lord, he could get used to this. Holding her naked body close every night as they spoke in lowered voices about their respective days and made love a time or two.

  Her blue eyes focused on him. “How about you? Any ex-wives in your past? Bairns?”

  “Nay. There’s been no one I’ve cared fer the way I cared fer ye, both six years ago and now. Part of me has longed fer a bairn of me own, if I’m to be truthful. I’ve just never been able to overcome the painful memories of the day me da died or the vacant years afterward that carved away at me heart, over the years, one painful piece after another. As I told ye earlier out on the sofa, nay child should have to go through that pain. I willna allow that to happen. So, instead, I dote on me brothers’ bairns.”

  His woman cupped his cheek. “I’m sorry you went through the loss of your da and the resulting loneliness. It must have been terribly rough. I was in my late teens when my father died. I already had my life’s focus to help with the mourning process. That’s not to say I didn’t shed a lot of tears, because I did. Tell me more about your brothers.”

  “Creighton is the eldest and the most demanding. He and his wife just had twins two weeks ago. A boy and a girl, Rory Creighton and Roslyn Effie. Och, one proud da, so Creighton is. He’s the laird of our clan, the Mathesons. I’m the middle son. Bryce is the youngest and the most emotional, yet verra strong in his own way. He’s been through a lot, ye see. His first wife died in childbirth with Colleen.

  “Bryce just got remarried to his childhood best friend seven months ago. They have a bairn due next month and Colleen thinks it’s all her doing.” He leaned in and kissed Anisa’s neck just below her ear and she moaned in what seemed contentment. “Colleen prayed for a brother or sister every night. Wait till ye meet her and see what a sweet ball of energy she is, although we do have her a wee bit spoiled. She was premature and sickly as a bairn.”

  “It sounds as if you’re a close family, even with your da’s death when you were so young. Tell me—if Creighton is the most demanding and Bryce, the most emotional…what are you?”

  “The peacemaker. The one who fixes everything from arguments to broken toilets. I’m the clan’s oral historian. Beyond that, I’m damn near emotionless.” Except with me inner bear. Ronan skimmed his hand down her side and over her hip. “But aye, ye’re right. We are verra close. Creighton tried his verra best and I’ll always have a deep sense of gratitude for how me eldest brother put so much effort into filling our da’s shoes, but he was only ten. He held us close when we cried and boxed our ears when we did wrong. It wasna long after da’s funeral I pledged to meself and the stars in the sky that I’d never have children to leave behind the way I’d been abandoned.”

  Anisa placed her hand on the back of Ronan’s neck and pressed his face against her chest. “Oh, sweetheart. No one should have to go through such pain that leaves a hollow space in his or her heart. I’m here for you now, for as long as I can be without putting you in danger.” She kissed his hair. “Believe me. You are not emotionless. You’re perfect.” She burrowed closer to him and he didna ken if he could take his next breath without her.

  What did she mean she’d be with him for as long as she didna put him in danger? He was twenty-eight years old and she was the first woman he’d connected with. Odd, because she was so educated and he wasna much more than a handyman. “If ye leave me, I’ll die inside.” He kissed her and, slowly, whisper by whisper, touch by touch, kiss by kiss they built themselves into another sexual frenzy.

  He sat on his knees and calves as he rolled on a new condom. His feckin’ pink glow-in-the-dark condom. The room had dimmed considerably from the first time they’d made love, and she hadna noticed the yellow one he’d worn.

  Anisa gaped at the long pink condom glimmering in the silence.

  Bloody hell, he would give Effie such a thrashin’ when they got home.

  Anisa’s finger slowly rose and pointed. “Your pecker’s…your pecker’s…glowing,” she sputtered, covered her mouth with her hand, and giggled.

  Ronan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ye’re going to make a feckin’ big deal outta this, are’na ye?” First he’d thrash Effie, then he’d give Anisa a good working over, but in a more pleasurable way.

  “They say grumpiness is a side effect.” She nodded.

  He planted his hands on his hips. “A side effect o’ what? And, fer yer opinion, I am nay grumpy.”

  She had the gall to pretend to sniffle tears. “Oh no! Denial is an advanced side effect.”

  Bloody hell, he’d had enough. “Of what?” His voice bounced off the log walls of the bedroom.

  Her gaze rose to meet his. “I hate to be the one to tell you, but you’ve got the dreaded Parisian Pink Pecker Disease! Oh, sweetheart, there’s only one cure for that.” She started to unroll the rubber. “Lucky for you, I know what it is. Have no fear. We studied it in college. Thank God, it’s not the lethal Parisian Purple Pecker Disease. That involves a more intensive and painful cure.” She tossed the condom over her shoulder and leaned over his groin. She licked her lips and smiled. “I can assure you, this remedy is more pleasurable.”

  Her pink tongue circled his cock while her fingers
fondled his balls. Sweet Lord in heaven.

  “Let me lay on me back, Beauty, so ’tis easier on ye.” He shifted, stretching out his legs. She grabbed both of his arse cheeks, squeezed them, and all but swallowed his cock. Her tongue did magical things as it swept up and down and flicked back and forth over the sensitive spot beneath his tadger’s head. Surely she’d drive him mad with need. He fisted his hands in her curls and held her head in place.

  “Ye are a wonder. Perfection of womanhood.” Her lips traveled the length of him, slowly at first. Then increasing in speed. Words tumbled out of Ronan’s mouth in Gaelic as she drew his life’s force from him and he shouted in release.

  He wrapped his arms around her and lifted this fantastic female higher on his body. Her cheek to his shuddering and expanding heart. “Dinna move. I need ye against me.” He reached for the edge of the blankets and covered them. “I dinna ever want to let ye go. Ye have taught me something I never understood.”

  “What? How to get rid of Parisian Pink Pecker Disease?”

  He smacked her bare bottom under the blankets. “Nay, how deeply and quickly a man can love a woman. I never believed in it. In fact, I often scorned the emotion.”

  “And now?” Her fingertips plucked one of his nipples and his cock nodded in approval.

  “Now, me whole outlook on life is changing. I will cherish ye, protect ye, and kill to keep ye safe.” He exhaled some gratified laughter. “I’d even be willing to talk about having bairns with ye, if that was something ye wanted.” He sliced the air with the side of his hand. “And that was something I swore I’d never want. Me own bairns.”

  “Children? We’ve only just declared our feelings.”

  He rolled her over and circled her nipple with his tongue. “What does time have to do with anything? With how our hearts and souls mesh? With how much we need each other?” His finger slipped between the wet folds of her labia and stroked. “Ye do need me, dinna ye? Am I presuming too much?” His thumb circled her clit, closer and closer, yet never touching.

  Her rate of breathing increased and the pulse at the base of her throat beat faster. “Yes, I care for you. Yes, I need you.”

  He sat as he had before on his knees and opened the last condom. Please let it be a decent color. Bloody hell! Neon purple.

  She started to giggle, harder and harder.

  “Dinna look at it if ye’re going to get all gooney over the damn thing. Get on yer knees and straddle me lap, Beauty. Slide yer arms over me shoulders.” He slipped into her, holding her hips, and pushed her up and down, setting a rhythm she seemed to enjoy. Once her nails raked his back, a sign she was lost to the pace he’d set, he fisted his hand in her hair. “Whose woman are ye?”

  Her head leaned back and she licked her lips as if all the panting had them too dry to speak. “Yours. I’m yours.” Being so close, he could detect the dark fan formed by her long lashes on her pale cheeks.

  “Look me in the eyes, Beauty, and say it.” He had to see her deep blues; judge the honesty within her expressive orbes when she repeated the pledge. For he’d be damned if he’d lose her now, or ever.

  Her lashes opened, revealing the windows to her stunning soul. “I belong to you, Ronan. And you…you belong to me.”

  “Bloody right.” His heart nearly burst with happiness.

  They kissed again, rough, passionate, and slowly the onslaught of their lips became gentle. They moved away from the joining of their lips to the caressing of their tongues and the mingling of their moans. Anisa began to soar first. As soon as her contractions began squeezing his cock, his balls tingled, and he took off, too, flying as he climaxed. They remained embraced as they toppled over and straightened their legs. He reached for a blanket, covered them, and held her close. “I love ye.” He kissed her lips quickly. “I adore ye, me Beauty.” He tucked his face against her neck and inhaled her faint strawberry scent.

  “I love you, too. Feelings like this are new to me. They’re kind of scary, especially when I’m on the run.” She leaned her head back and glanced at him. “We have no future. No safe future. No matter the emotions we have for each other. I will always belong to the French army until my time is up or when I get released from military jail for stealing a drone and going MIA. You do understand that.”

  Panic thumped his heart with a steel hammer. “Nay. Nay, I refuse to accept it. ’Tis not the way to handle a problem. We dinna concentrate on how helpless the situation is. We focus on how to overcome it. I’m a handyman. When something major goes wrong at the lodge, I dinna throw me arms in the air and give up. I dig in, think, and figure out a solution. I’ll do the same with ye, fer I’m no’ giving ye up. Ever.

  “As soon as the storm stops, I’m taking ye home to the lodge. Ye’ll meet me family. Me clan, once they ken our relationship, will come together to keep ye safe. Trust me, Beauty. I’ll take care of ye.” He tightened his arms around her and held her close. “Sleep, me luv. Let it snow outside while we snuggle inside, skin to skin, heart to heart.”

  Chapter 8

  A few hours later, Ronan crawled out of bed, gently sliding his arm from under Anisa’s neck so as not to waken her. They’d fallen asleep before he could get up and dispose of the condom, which was probably why it was almost empty when he did. No doubt some of the semen had leaked out during his nap.

  Sleeping spooned around his Beauty was as natural and special to his well-being as breathing. He had no recollection of being as bonded to anyone as he was with this voluptuous woman. For the first time he understood the expression “one’s other half,” for she was his.

  Since his preteen years, he’d considered Brother Bear his other half. And, in a sense, he was. Ronan doubted he could live without either one—his bear or his Beauty. Although his brothers shared a closeness with their own bears, neither had grown as attached as he had to his shifter mate. He didna recall when exactly it happened after the death of his da—but for years now he’d found it easier to share his emotions with Brother Bear, the one who would never leave him. Now, with Anisa, there would be three of them.

  She mumbled something about doing another test run on the drone and then quieted into a deep slumber. He picked up his kilt and boots, tiptoed out to the large room, and stoked the fireplace with wood. Before he’d shift, he’d place the shoes and plaid on the porch so he wouldna walk back into the cabin naked when he and his bear got back. Beauty might be up by then. ’Twould be hard to explain what he’d been doing out in a blizzard with nay clothes on.

  He’d promised Brother Bear a run to work off his anger over what Anisa had told them. Even as angry as he was with his internal bear, Ronan would not break a promise to him. He opened his telepathic shield.

  I’m sorry I ate all yer food. Me nerves were tied in knots over her being hurt, so they were.

  “We’ll nay speak of it again. Now shift so ye can run and roar off yer wrath. Throw some boulders. Rip apart a feckin’ tree.”

  Once the shifting was complete and Brother Bear was in the forefront, he loped for the hills beyond the cabin. Ronan didna think his bear would ever wear down his anger, even though the depth of the snow came nearly to his neck. Finally, he revolved in the direction of home, his breathing labored. Snow floated like diamonds from the cloud-filled sky as the sun tried its best to peep through the heavy haze in a weak effort at showing off a sunrise.

  Brother Bear ran out of steam at the bottom of the steps, laid down, and shifted. Ronan stepped into his boots, wrapped his kilt around his waist, and grabbed an armful of wood before he opened the door. A hasty peek in the alcove showed Anisa was still sleeping. He took a quick shower to wash off the odor of wildness from Brother Bear and to warm his skin before he snuggled in bed with her again. His gaze settled on the box of condoms, and he smiled. Just in case, he grabbed another foil packet.

  He lifted the blankets and settled behind her. She rolled over into his arms and kissed his neck. “Where were you?” Her voice was thick with sleep.

  “Putting m
ore wood in the fireplace. I wanted it warm in here fer ye, especially when ye get up.” He enveloped her tighter in his arms.

  Her hand slipped between them and encircled his cock. “I missed having this poking me in the butt.”

  “Did ye, now?” A few slow, deep kisses, more stroking, sweet whispered words, and he had her flipped on her hands and knees while he quickly donned the rubber. His fingertips plied her bald labia until she was wet and ready for him. His thumb circled her bud, tapping it until her muscles tensed, and then he pressed on it as he slipped into her in the middle of her climax. Moving slowly, he entwined his fingers with hers, and whispered over and over how much he loved her.

  Desire burned down his spine and through his balls. “Come now, Beauty. Come with me,” he roared and she screamed his name.

  Afraid he’d squash her, he rolled over to dispose of the condom in the wastebasket by the bed and was once again surprised by the small amount it held. By the strength of his climax, the protective shield should have been half full. Too tired to give it much thought, he pulled his Beauty close, nuzzled her neck, and fell asleep.

  Ronan’s growling stomach woke him—or was it hers? She blushed a smile. “I could eat some petit déjeuner.”

  “Aye. Breakfast. I imagine we’re both starved with nay supper last night. Rest a few minutes and give me time to get dressed.” He kissed her forehead before rolling out of bed. He strode to the big room and snatched their dried laundry off hangers stuck here and there on doorknobs and hanging from nails in the rafters. He slipped into boxers and jeans, leaving the top button open. Within a few minutes, he had all their laundry folded. “Yer clothes are dry, Beauty. Ye can shower while I make breakfast.”

  She approached him, stared into his eyes, and wrapped her hands around his biceps. “I prefer asking questions straight-out. On the job, I often had to be circuitous or sneaky in how I worded an inquiry. Office politics, you know. I refuse to be that way with you.”

  What was she getting at? “I’m glad ye feel that way with me. Honesty is important between a couple. Ask me what ye wish to ken.”