In truth, I realised I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. I must have sounded like a bumbling idiot, but couldn’t seem to help myself—I was on a roll, and it moved too fast to show any signs of slowing.
“You don’t even know her,” Josh said.
“That’s exactly my point, Josh.”
“What? What the hell—”
“You promised you’d make sure I liked anyone you dated. Do you remember that?”
“Jem—”
“Well, I don’t like her!”
I hung up on him.
My chest heaved.
The tremble of my hand affected the mobile I held before me as I waited to see if Josh would call back for round two.
He didn’t.
My frustration expanded, but the more time that passed, the longer I had to think. As my pulse returned to normal, my breathing followed suit, and my brain evaluated what I’d just done.
I groaned.
What right had I to tell Josh who he could or couldn’t date?
No right, that’s what.
Who was I to insist he seek approval for any women he liked?
No one—not even family …not in the literal sense of the term.
I had to be the biggest let-down of a surrogate big sister ever.
“Shit!” I kicked at the divan.
I owed him an apology—big time—but couldn’t bring myself to call him back.
Probably wouldn’t answer, anyway.
“Shit! Shit! Shit!” A stomp of my foot accompanied each curse.
What if he was on his way home? What if my ranting had incited him to cut his date short? He could be raging mad and already coming to have it out with me.
“Oh, you idiot.”
With another groan, I tossed my mobile to the bed, rubbed my hands over my face. Only as I fisted them in my eyes did I realise the threat of tears.
What the heck’s wrong with me?
Jealousy hadn’t sparked the outburst. Something more than that. Would I have gotten so mad if it had been a different girl he’d taken on a date?
I very much doubt it. I just couldn’t figure out why I had such a problem with her.
Clatters carried from the kitchen as footsteps bounded up the stairs.
I tilted my head.
The bedroom door handle squeaked, and the door swung open to reveal Sean. “Come and eat, Jem.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You need to eat.”
“I’ve upset Josh,” I whispered.
“You can apologise.”
I shook my head, my mouth bearing the burden of my frown.
Sean stepped into the room and pulled me close. “He’ll forgive you, Jem, once he’s cooled off.”
Inhaling his calming scent, I leaned into him. When he drew me to his side and herded me toward the door, I didn’t protest, hadn’t the energy—I’d used it all up on Josh.
In the kitchen, the others had already started eating. When Sean drew back my chair, I slumped into it and ignored the attention of the pack, peering down at my dinner as though potatoes had answers.
From his usual seat beside me, Sean reached for my fork and held it out to me. “Eat.”
I took the cutlery, poked at my cottage pie. Knowing he wouldn’t leave me alone unless I obeyed, I prodded up a miniscule forkful and steered it into my mouth before raising my eyebrow at him in a ‘happy now?’ expression.
With a smile, he leaned over and snared a far bigger blob on his fork and waved it beneath my nose until I relented and ate it.
As I’d no wish to endure the embarrassment of being fed in front of the others, I forced one mouthful after another down.
Halfway through my meal, I dropped my fork and pushed up from my seat. “I should call him back.”
Sean tugged at my arm, parking me back on my rear. “Leave it, Jem.”
“I should …I was horrible to him.” With a groan, I leaned forward, holding my hair up to prevent it stroking mashed potato on my plate.
“Talk to him tomorrow,” Sean said.
I shook my head, clambering from my seat.
Back through the hall, I jogged up the stairs and snatched my phone off the bed. I hesitated only a second before I hit redial. It rang for ages. Maybe he’d no intention of ever talking to me again.
My chest tightened at the thought.
His answer jolted me back. “What now, Jem?”
“Josh, I’m sorry.”
“Okay.” His tone chilled me.
“I had no right to speak to you that way.”
“No, you didn’t.”
I sniffled. “I’m sorry.”
His sigh travelled the connection to my ear. “I know.” His voice had softened. “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”
“Sure,” I mumbled.
“Bye,” he said and hung up.
• • •
Josh hadn’t sounded as though he’d forgiven me, or that he would.
The thought of losing the bond I shared with him tugged at me. I’d grovel if I had to—except over what I’d said about her. After spending hours awake thinking about it, I realised I’d meant every word—even if some of it hadn’t made any sense.
Little conversation arose over breakfast. The further through my sausage and tomatoes I chomped, the quieter I grew, the more reflective I became as my mind worked its way through the apology I had to give.
I’d never forgive myself if unsuccessful.
My urge to get the apology over and done with had me sending impatient glances toward the stairs as I waited for Sean so we could leave.
Sensing eyes my way, I turned to meet Ethan’s gaze over the rim of his mug.
His dark orbs shifted to the left, toward his dad.
Expecting admonishment for my antsy behaviour, I looked to Nathan, but he stared with such intensity at …nothing …he didn’t even seem to notice our scrutiny.
Both Ethan and I faced him for seconds.
Nathan’s expression didn’t change.
My attention re-met Ethan’s, and I gestured with my eyebrows, hoping to portray my question, what’s up with your dad?
Ethan gave the tiniest of shrugs.
Something was definitely up with Nathan, and I didn’t think it had anything to do with Josh.
• • •
When it finally reached time to head to Connor’s, we took our usual route through the forest in wolf form.
Weekly visits meant regular changes—something strongly encouraged by Nathan. He said it aided in retaining mental balance and control, and kept the twitchiness that occurred if a body’s needs weren’t met at bay.
Not that any of us minded.
I watched Nathan as the four of us raced forward.
Although a quieter character than the younger pack members, Nathan loved his runs as much as the rest of us. His body language, his focus, his rumbling growl, though, told me the day’s exercise lacked its usual enjoyment.
I glanced sideways at Sean, caught him eyeing his dad before my eyes retrained on Nathan.
Something bugged him, for sure.
The five mile stretch to the Larsen household didn’t take long to cover. We sent a call of approach, alerting them to bring clothing out for us—a routine none bothered with before I entered the pack.
Embarrassment over nudity didn’t lie within any of them. I had issues over seeing Sean’s family with no clothes on.
The way-too-long running sweats, which had been left on loan, told me I’d run out of gear at Connor’s—again. I rolled up the legs and tugged an equally large T-shirt over my head. After a glance to ensure Sean had dressed, too, I broke out of the forest onto the Larsen lawn and fou
nd Josh on the patio.
Sean reached me and kissed my cheek. “Go on ahead. I’ll wait for the others.”
I nodded and strode across the grass to Josh.
His head hung low, hands in his pockets. When I neared, he lifted his lashes, giving a small smile.
I stopped in front of him. “Josh, I—”
He turned and walked away.
I stared at his retreating back until he paused at the back doorway to the house and peered over his shoulder.
“Come on. We need to talk,” he said.
I followed him in, through the kitchen, the hall. Connor’s house had pretty much the same layout as Nathan’s—as though designed by the same person. As we turned for the stairs, I spotted his two brothers and dad in the living room. They each sent me a smile.
Josh ascended the stairs. My eyebrow lifted for a second before I fell into his shadow behind him. It took Josh’s long legs only a few strides along the landing to arrive at the second room on the right. He allowed me a brief glance, pushed open the door and went in.
Reaching the doorway, I leaned against the frame as Josh sat on the bed.
The first time I’d entered Josh’s room, it rendered me surprised. The many images of his mother in there held sharp contrast to the sparse adornment of family pictures in Nathan’s home. Josh had been only thirteen when the outside pack killed his mother a little over ten years before.
Josh’s beckoning finger brought my attention back to him. When I didn’t move, he came over and took my hand, walking me back to the bed and drawing me down with him as he sat.
I lifted my bare feet, tucked my knees beneath my chin and wrapped my arms around them.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” he asked.
I shrugged.
“What was yesterday all about, Jem?”
My shoulders lifted and dropped again.
He sighed. “So …you’re not going to talk to me about it?” He swung his feet up and lay back against the pillows, folding his arms behind his head. A flicker of pain visited his eyes when he looked at me.
“I told you yesterday I was sorry. You’re the one who didn’t sound like you accepted it.” My voice came out weak. So much for repairing the damage.
He nodded.
In silence, we sat for a few minutes, gazes on each other.
“Josh, I’m sorry, okay? I was a total arse yesterday, but …you could have said something. I can’t believe you’d leave your dad to tell me . . .”
“You have a problem with me dating, Jem?”
I shook my head because I didn’t.
“You just have a problem with Marianne?”
Picking nonexistent fluff off the duvet cover, I thought about telling him no, but nodded.
“I like her. Why can’t you just be happy for me?”
I didn’t answer. What could I say? That I had a bad feeling about her? How ridiculous and insubstantial would that sound?
“Are you jealous?” The frown overhanging his dulled eyes told me his words held no joviality.
I shook my head.
“I know I can’t have you . . .”
At his quiet mumble, I studied him closer.
“Should I just mope around because of that and never bother looking elsewhere?”
I didn’t know what to say. I’d always believed Josh’s feelings for me were given in a playful sense—nothing more, nothing less. The way he looked at me and the deepness of his voice had me reconsidering what I’d always thought to be harmless fun.
Specks of rain hit the window. Although I gave the quiet patter my attention, Josh’s heavy stare remained on me.
“When that girl first showed up”—my lip went to curl until I chewed at it—“and you showed an interest in her, it made me realise . . .”
“Realise what, Jem?”
I looked back at him. “That I’ve grown used to having you all to myself. Not just you, Josh—the entire pack. Poppy told me it was selfish. She said you all have needs.” I half smiled. “I guess she’s right. Maybe I am being selfish. It’s just …I don’t know.”
Only our breathing filled the room again until I broke the silence. “I’ve no right to expect you all not to date. I know that. How unjust would that be when I have Sean? But it …would be easier to deal with if your females were . . .” I swallowed down my discomfort. “Someone I didn’t mind.”
“Why do you have a problem with her?”
“Because I know she’s lying about her interest in the apartments just to get to you.”
His jaw tightened. “So what? What’s wrong with her lying because she finds me attractive? All women do it. You’re all manipulative. You all make stuff up just to get a man’s attention, and then, once you’ve got it, ask him out or something.”
I threw my hands up. “And you know this how? From your vast experience with the opposite sex? Have you even had any experience with women, Josh?”
He glared before he reined it in, letting out a heavy sigh. “Not really.”
My lips curved at his naivety.
“But I like her,” he said.
The arc of my lips switched to a downturn. “I know.”
“And I want to see her again. Can’t you accept this is what I want?”
My poorly contained sigh escaped through my nostrils. “I can try.”
“Can you please not make things difficult for me if she comes round again?”
“I’ll try.”
“Will you at least try to be nice to her?” His green eyes beseeched. “For me?”
I studied his lovely face, reached out to tug at his erratic hair that had grown into a curly mop. “I’ll try my best …for you.”
Smiling, he took my outstretched hand. A gentle tug urged me down beside him. I brushed my lips across his cheek, nestled my face into his shoulder. As he pulled me close into his body heat, I breathed out my relief.
It didn’t take long for footsteps to climb the stairs. My face remained burrowed when they entered the bedroom. The mattress depressed behind me as a heavy weight climbed on.
“This a private party . . .” Nuzzling teased the back of my neck. “…or can anyone join in?”
I tilted my head to allow Sean’s lips easier access.
“I can’t believe this,” Josh said. “I finally entice Jem into my room—alone—and you turn up and spoil my fun.”
Sean’s chuckle vibrated along my spine.
I giggled.
“You forget too often, Josh, that Jem is my woman.” Sean’s words held no warning, no malicious intent, only a regular banter.
Josh rolled to Sean, and I found myself sandwiched between two rock hard chests.
As Sean’s hand stroked across my stomach, it fluttered.
Josh slid his hand down and grasped my thigh, tugging at me until my face pressed into his chest. “Maybe we could come to an arrangement. It’s unfair that you keep her all to yourself.”
Sean drew me back to him. “I don’t do sharing. Sorry. It’s in my nature to be territorial.”
The rumble of laughter brewed within their chests.
Josh wriggled closer. “How about a threesome?”
Sean laughed, shifting closer against my back. “Interesting idea.”
The two of them squashed me until my nose and mouth were buried in Josh, my rear heated by Sean.
“I can’t breathe.” The fabric of Josh’s T-shirt muffled my mumble.
“You hear something?” Sean asked.
Josh chuckled. “No.”
I tried to push out my arms. Sean and Josh had them pinned. I struggled against them, my grunts turning into a low giggle. “You’ll be sorry when I pass out from the fumes of smelly armpit.”
“Hey
, I don’t smell.”
As soon as Josh lifted his arm and sniffed the dip beneath, my fingers located his ribcage.
He squirmed against the tickling contact, rolled over laughing.
Sean’s hold lessened, and I made my escape to kneel on Josh’s stomach, tickled him some more. I had the upper hand until Sean joined in the game—on Josh’s team.
Two against one? I never stood a chance.
4
Monday lunchtime, donned in humungous, waist-high coveralls and ugly, steel-capped boots Nathan insisted I wear, I tried to ignore the calls of, “Hey, Jem, nice outfit,” as I headed inside the showroom apartment.
The plastered walls had been prepared that morning and awaited my magic touch. In the kitchen, after filling a tray with brilliant white emulsion, I balanced the roller against the lip and climbed the stepladder.
The ceiling didn’t take long to coat, and I moved to give the lounge its first lick. I’d covered almost a quarter when Josh showed up, bearing a steaming mug of coffee.
I clattered down and danced over to Josh with a smile. Mug in hand, the steaming aroma travelled up. I inhaled, sighed and sipped. “Thanks, Josh. I needed this.”
“So I see.” His gaze travelled the walls and returned to me. “I’m impressed. You haven’t got any paint on you.”
“Very funny. I am capable of doing stuff without making a mess.”
“Yes, but . . .” Pausing as his mobile rang, he pulled it from his pocket. His focus flicked from the caller display to me. “It’s Marianne.”
I willed my brow not to crease. “You’d better answer it then.”
He seemed unsure as he hit the connect button and put the phone to his ear. “Hey, Marianne, how are you?”
“Pretty good—even better now I’m talking to you.”
My enhanced hearing caught her words without effort, and it took restraint not to stick my fingers down my throat.
Josh grinned. “Did you have a good time on Saturday?”
“Of course. We should do it again sometime.”
“I’d like that.”
I considered moving away so I wouldn’t have to hear them any longer, but didn’t.
“Listen, are you busy right now?” Marianne asked.
“I’m working.”
Blue Moon Page 3