I studied my letter. My name was written in the beautiful script I knew intimately as my father’s writing. Just the sight of it made me want to weep.
We all looked at each other, trying to work out how everyone else felt.
‘I think I’d prefer to read mine privately,’ said Ally.
There was a general murmur of agreement. I knew that, as usual, Ally had instinctively read our collective feelings correctly.
‘So, my job is now done.’ Georg drained his glass, then reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out six cards, which he distributed around the table. ‘Please don’t hesitate to contact me, any of you, if you need my help. And rest assured I’ll be available to you day and night. But I’m sure that, knowing your father, he will have anticipated already what it is that you might all need. So, now it is time for me to leave you. Once again, girls, my condolences to you.’
‘Thank you, Georg,’ I said. ‘We all appreciate your help.’
‘Goodbye.’ He stood and nodded to us all. ‘You know where I am if you need me. There’s no need to see me out.’
We watched him leave in silence, then I saw Marina rise from the table too.
‘I think we could all do with something to eat. I’ll tell Claudia to bring supper out here,’ she said and disappeared inside the house.
‘I’m almost frightened to open this,’ said Tiggy, fingering her envelope. ‘I have absolutely no idea what it contains.’
‘Maia, do you think you could go back to the armillary sphere and translate the quotations on it?’ asked Ally.
‘Of course,’ I said, seeing Marina and Claudia walking towards us with plates of food. ‘After supper, I will.’
‘I hope you guys don’t mind, but I’m not hungry,’ said Electra, standing up. ‘I’ll see you later.’
As she left, I knew that every one of us wished we had the courage to do the same. We all wanted time alone.
‘Are you hungry, Star?’ asked CeCe.
‘I think we should eat something,’ Star answered quietly, her hands clasped tightly around her envelope.
‘Okay,’ said CeCe.
All of us valiantly forced down our food, lovingly prepared by Claudia. And then, one by one, my sisters began to stand up and walk silently from the table, until only Ally and I were left.
‘Do you mind, Maia, if I go to bed too? I feel completely exhausted.’
‘Of course not,’ I answered. ‘You were the last one to hear and you’re still getting over the shock.’
‘Yes, I think I am,’ she agreed, standing up. ‘Goodnight, darling Maia.’
‘Goodnight.’
As I watched her leave the terrace, my fingers closed around the envelope that had been sitting by my plate for the past hour. Finally I stood up and walked towards the Pavilion. In my bedroom I put the envelope under my pillow, then went into my study to gather some paper and a pen.
Armed with a torch, I walked back across the gardens to study the armillary sphere. Night was truly descending, and the first stars were emerging. Pa Salt had shown me The Seven Sisters many times from his observatory, when they hung directly over the lake between November and April.
‘I miss you,’ I whispered to the heavens, ‘and I hope that one day I understand.’
Then I turned my attention to the golden bands circumnavigating the globe. Copying down the Greek words as best I could with the torch held in my left hand, and thinking that I must return tomorrow to make sure that I had them all exactly right, I counted the inscriptions I had.
There were six.
But there was still one band I had not yet looked at. As I shone the torch onto the seventh, searching for the inscription, I saw that it was blank.
7
I spent the small hours translating the quotes on the armillary sphere. Whether each one was relevant to the other girls, I didn’t feel it was my place to investigate. I left mine until last, almost too frightened to know what it said. When I’d finished translating it, I took a deep breath and read it.
Never let your fear decide your destiny
I knew that the seven words Pa Salt had left me could not have described me and who I was any more accurately.
The next morning, after making my requisite cup of tea, I returned to the bedroom, tentatively pulled the envelope from under my pillow, and carried it into the sitting room. I studied it for a while as I sipped my tea.
Then, taking a few deep breaths, I picked it up and tore it open. Inside was a letter, but also something else; as I reached inside to grasp it, it felt solid, yet somehow also soft beneath my fingers. As I drew it out, I saw it was a triangular-shaped stone tile, creamy in colour but with a green hue to it. I turned it over and saw there was an illegible faded inscription on the back of it.
Unable to decipher it, I set it down, and, with trembling hands, I unfolded Pa’s letter and began to read.
Atlantis
Lake Geneva
Switzerland
My dearest Maia,
I’m sure as you sit and read this that you’ll be feeling confused and sad. My beloved first-born girl, I can only tell you what a joy you have been to me. Even though I can’t claim to be your natural father, I beg you to believe that I have loved you as though I was. And I must tell you that it was you who inspired me to continue to adopt your beautiful younger sisters, and that all of you have given me more pleasure than anything else in my life.
You have never asked me to tell you about your true heritage, the story of where I found you and the circumstances that led up to your adoption. Rest assured, I would have told you if you had, as one of your sisters did a few years ago. But as I leave this earth, I feel it is only right to allow you the freedom to discover it in the future if you wish.
None of you came to me with a birth certificate, and as you know, all of you are officially registered as my daughters. No one can take that away from you. However, at the very least, I can point you in the right direction. After that, only you can choose to take the journey back into your past if you so wish.
On the armillary sphere, which you have now seen, are a set of coordinates indicating exactly where on this planet your story began. And there is also a small clue inside the envelope to help you further.
Maia, I can’t tell you what you’ll find if you do decide to return to the country of your birth. But what I can tell you is that your true family and their story touched my life.
I’m sad that there is no time left for me to relate my own story to you, and that perhaps you sometimes felt that I kept many things to myself. What I did, I did to protect you all. But of course, no man, or woman, is an island. And as you grew up, I had to set you free to fly.
We all hold secrets inside us, but please believe me when I say that family is everything. And that the love of a parent for a child is the most powerful force on earth.
Maia, it’s understandable that I look back on my life and regret many of the decisions that I’ve made during it. Of course, it is the human condition to make mistakes, as that is how we learn and grow. But my dearest wish is to at least pass on any wisdom that I’ve gathered to my precious daughters.
I think there is a part of you that, because of your life experience so far, has led you to lose your faith in human nature. My dearest Maia, please know that I too have suffered from the same affliction and it blighted my life at times. However, I have learnt over the many years I’ve spent on this earth that for every one bad apple, there are thousands more whose hearts are full of kindness. And you must trust to the intrinsic goodness inside each of us. Only then will you be able to live and love fully.
I will leave you now, my dearest Maia; I’m sure I have given you and your sisters much to think about.
I am watching over you always from the heavens.
Your loving father,
Pa Salt x
I sat holding the letter, and saw that my hands were shaking. I knew I needed to read it again, and probably a third or a fourth time, but one phras
e stuck in my mind.
Had he known?
I called Marina on her mobile and asked her if she could come and see me at the Pavilion. She arrived five minutes later, and saw the distress on my face.
Following me into the sitting room, she glanced at the letter lying open on the coffee table.
‘Oh Maia,’ she said, holding out her arms to me. ‘I’m sure you must be very distressed, having heard your father’s voice speaking to you from the grave.’
I didn’t move to accept her embrace. ‘Ma, please, you must tell me if you ever told Pa Salt about our . . . secret?’
‘Of course not! Please believe me, I would never betray you!’
I could see the hurt in Marina’s kind eyes.
‘So he never knew?’
‘No. How could he have done?’
‘In the letter, he says something that made me think he must have known . . .’
‘May I take a look at it?’
‘Of course. Here.’ I picked up the letter and handed it to her, watching intently as she read it.
Eventually, she looked up at me, her expression calmer now. She nodded in understanding.
‘I can see why you’ve reacted as you have, but I honestly think that your father was simply sharing with you his own truth.’
I sat down abruptly on the sofa and put my head in my hands.
‘Maia.’ Marina shook her head and sighed. ‘As the letter from your father says, we all make mistakes. We simply do what we think is right at the time. And you, out of all the girls, have spent your life putting the feelings of others first. Especially your father’s.’
‘I just never wanted to let him down.’
‘I know, chérie, but all your father wished for each one of you was that you were happy and felt secure and loved. Please, today of all days, don’t forget that. But perhaps it’s time, now that he’s gone, for you to think about yourself and what you want.’ Marina shook herself briskly and rose. ‘Now, Electra has announced she’s leaving, as has Tiggy. CeCe called Georg Hoffman first thing this morning and has gone off with Star to visit him at his office in Geneva. And Ally is busy on her laptop in the kitchen.’
‘Do you know if any of them have read their letters yet?’ I asked, trying to pull myself together.
‘If they have, they haven’t shared the information with me,’ Marina confirmed. ‘Perhaps you’d like to join us up at the house for lunch, before Electra and Tiggy leave?’
‘Of course. And I’m sorry, Ma, for ever doubting you.’
‘It’s completely understandable, given the letter. Now, you take some time alone to calm down, and I’ll see you up at the house at one o’clock.’
‘Thank you,’ I whispered as Marina headed out of the room. Before she reached the front door, she paused and turned back to face me.
‘Maia, really, you are the daughter I wish I’d had. And just like your father did, I love you as such.’
After she left, I sat on the sofa and sobbed my heart out. It was as if a torrent of long-buried emotions were begging to be released and, to my shame, I lost control of myself in a tidal wave of self-pity.
I knew I was crying for me. Not for Pa and his unexpected death and the pain he must have suffered during it, but for my own pain at his loss and the awful realisation that I had proven myself unworthy by not trusting him enough to tell him the truth.
What kind of a person was I? What had I done?
And why was I feeling all these things now, things that in so many ways were not connected with Pa’s death?
I’m behaving like Electra, I told myself, hoping that would bring me up short. But it didn’t. And the tears just wouldn’t stop. I lost track of time, and when I finally looked up, I saw Tiggy standing in front of me, her face a picture of concern.
‘Oh Maia, I just came here to say that Electra and I are leaving shortly and we wanted to say goodbye. But I can’t leave you like this . . .’
‘No,’ I snuffled. ‘Sorry, I . . .’
‘What do you have to apologise for?’ she said as she came to sit next to me and took my hands in hers. ‘You’re a human being too. I think you sometimes forget that.’
I saw her glancing at the letter from Pa still sitting on the coffee table and I grabbed it protectively.
‘Was it very upsetting?’ she asked.
‘Yes . . . and no . . .’
I knew I couldn’t explain myself to her. And of all the sisters who could have been here at this moment, Tiggy was the one I’d mothered most, who had relied on me and for whom I had always been there. The role reversal was not lost on me.
‘You missed lunch, by the way,’ she said.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Please, can you stop apologising? We all understand, we all love you. And we know what Pa’s death means to you.’
‘But look at me! I’m the “coper”, the person who sorts everyone else out! And it’s me who’s falling apart. Have you opened your letter?’ I asked her.
‘No, not yet. I think – or at least I feel – that I want to take it back with me to Scotland. And stand on the moors in my special, private place and read it there.’
‘Well, this is my home, where I belong, so I opened mine here. But I feel so guilty, Tiggy,’ I confessed.
‘Why?’
‘Because . . . I’ve been crying for myself. Not for Pa, but for me.’
‘Maia,’ she sighed, ‘do you really think there’s any other reason why people cry over the death of a loved one?’
‘Yes, of course. They cry for a life cut short, for the pain the person suffered, surely?’
‘Well . . .’ Tiggy gave a small smile. ‘I know that you find it difficult to believe what I believe, that there is life after death and that our souls live on. But I can imagine Pa is now in the universe somewhere, released from his inadequate human body – free for the first time. Because I could see so often in his eyes that he must have suffered a lot during his life. And all I can say is that when one of my deer dies and is released from the pain of living, I understand that I’m crying at my own loss, because I will miss the animal so badly. Maia, please, even if you can’t believe in anything beyond this earth, try to understand that grief is all about the people left behind. About us. We’re all grieving for ourselves and our loss. And you really mustn’t feel any guilt about it.’
I looked at my sister, feeling her calm acceptance. And I silently acknowledged that the part of me she’d called a ‘soul’, I’d consciously buried for many years.
‘Thank you, Tiggy, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for lunch.’
‘You didn’t miss much. In the end, it was only Ally and me. Electra was packing and said she’d eaten far too much junk anyway, and CeCe and Star are still in Geneva. They went to see Georg Hoffman this morning.’
‘Ma told me. Presumably CeCe went about money?’
‘I’d assume so. I’m sure you know she has a place on an art course in London she wants to take. They’ll need somewhere to live and that will cost money.’
‘Yes.’
‘Obviously Pa’s death affects your circumstances far more than any of us. I mean, we all know you stayed here to keep him company and watch over him.’
‘Tiggy, that’s not really the truth. It’s because I had nowhere else to go,’ I admitted bluntly.
‘As usual, I think you’re being incredibly hard on yourself. Pa was part of the reason you were here. Now he’s gone, surely the world is your oyster? You have a job you can do anywhere, you could go wherever you wanted.’ Tiggy looked at her watch. ‘I really must go and pack. Goodbye, darling Maia,’ she said as she threw her arms round my shoulders. ‘Please take care of yourself. You know I’m always at the end of the phone if you need me. Why don’t you think about coming to visit me up in the Highlands at some point? The landscape is so beautiful and the atmosphere unbelievably tranquil.’
‘Maybe, Tiggy. Thank you.’
Soon after she left, I roused myself to go and say goodbye to
Electra. But as I was walking across the gardens to the jetty, Electra herself appeared right in front of me.
‘I’m off,’ she said. ‘My agency said they’ll sue me if I’m not there at the shoot tomorrow morning.’
‘Of course.’
‘Hey.’ Electra cocked her head to one side. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes, I’m fine.’
‘Listen, now you have no Pa to mind here, why don’t you pop over to La-La Land and come and stay with me and Mitch for a while? There’s a great little guest house in the garden, and really, you’re welcome to it anytime.’
‘Thanks, Electra. Keep in touch, won’t you?’
“Course I will. So, see you soon,’ she said as we reached the jetty and saw that CeCe and Star were just getting off the boat.
‘Hi guys,’ said CeCe, and her smile told me that her mission in Geneva had obviously been successful.
‘Are you leaving, Electra?’ Star asked.
‘I have to get back to LA. Some of us have to work for a living, you know,’ she said pointedly and I knew the comment was meant for CeCe.
‘Well, at least some of us are using our brains, not our bodies to earn it,’ CeCe retorted, as Ally arrived on the jetty with Tiggy.
‘Now, now, girls, surely this is the moment to be there for each other? Bye, Electra.’ Ally walked to her sister and kissed her on both cheeks. ‘Let’s try to arrange to see each other soon.’
‘Sure,’ Electra agreed as she kissed Star, but ignored CeCe. ‘Are you ready, Tiggy?’
‘Yes,’ Tiggy said, having embraced the rest of her sisters and made her way over to Star. As she hugged her, I saw Tiggy whisper in Star’s ear and Star whisper back.
‘Right, let’s get going,’ ordered Electra. ‘I can’t afford to miss my flight.’
I watched as Tiggy and Electra stepped onto the boat and, as the engine hummed, we four remaining sisters waved them off, then turned and walked back up to the house.
‘I think Star and I might be on our way later too,’ commented CeCe.
The Seven Sisters Page 7