Far-out Show (9781465735829)

by Hanna, Thomas

  “Letting the ship be destroyed when it’s the only source of the hottest pacification show Ormelex has ever seen doesn’t make sense,” Feedle insisted.

  “No, things don’t look even acceptable now,” Eroder muttered as his scanned the console and tried not to panic.

  “The designers were techs, they must have known that any crew of competent technical guys would see the inefficient ways things are done and try to improve on them,” Lacrat said.

  “Fampfuzzle! Can we even survive this?” Eroder whispered.

  “Somebody tell us what’s happened,” Hasley called.

  “First the out-going signals stopped. Next it was the reception of in-coming signals. Then the general power. Now the main engines are gone,” Biccup called back.

  “There go the life-support systems,” Icetop said. “Everything is shut down except the onboard communications system that’s running on stored power so it won’t last long.”

  “What can we do?” Feedle called.

  “The apparent cause is the change-over from the default control systems. That makes changing back the obvious remedy,” Lacrat said.

  “With a long list of doubts dragged along as baggage,” Yelpam said. “Maybe that’s not the actual cause but only what happened at the same time. Maybe only minor tweaks are needed to make it all work right. Or maybe a hundred other things.”

  “It is such dismilquam that they’d intend this to happen,” Feedle grumbled. “Bad enough that those dinglefingledorkporks would arrange it to scare us but true craziness if things can’t be reversed or fixed so we neprist oglimp vinx crupsmimp.”

  “I need to hear recommendations,” Eroder called.

  “Change back to see if that corrects things,” Lacrat said.

  “We’re not in immediate danger so give us techs time to analyze the systems while they’re in this down condition,” Icetop called. “We need to understand how the engines and the life-support systems are interconnected to deal with any unintended breakdowns later. If we also find ways to patch around the problem areas in the process that’s an extra. Our energy stores are full charged so we have life support and test power for a while. Let us take advantage of it.”

  “Agreed,” Yelpam, Biccup, and Molten called in unison.

  “You’re the captain, we trust your judgment,” Hasley said.

  “Good thing since I agree with the techs,” Eroder said.

  Feedle wasn’t sure how they should proceed. Lacrat wasn’t happy with any delay and wanted to say so. Hasley ushered those two into the hall and waited for the door to close.

  “We can’t overrule the captain and they know more about the technical stuff that we do so let them do what they can,” Hasley argued. “And think like a producer. This means the guys at A.D.U. and probably the Peepees know communications are down. We can’t be sure but probably they know why. Let them worry that their big moneymakers are in danger to make them think about how important we are to them.”

  “I follow,” Feedle said. “They expect the crew to bring all the systems back on line right away – but we don’t.”

  “Bigger worries for them. Maybe they’ve lost us. Maybe now the governors will want a full investigation and our home office can supply signal recordings the others don’t know about that could show their lies are...well, lies,” Lacrat said as he got into the spirit of this.”

  Feedle gave him a pitying look as she said, “I see where we can make use of this when we make contact again. I would go slow about choosing to do this but it’d be a waste not to use it.”

  The other two followed Hasley back into the control room.

  Inside the captain and the four techs were at the main console. Molten was in the chair keying in commands as fast as his finger would go. The others muttered encouragement and uttered little sounds to bring the occasional input error to his attention so he would correct it.

  Eroder walked over to the producers and said, “It took some searching but we finally found parts, but only parts, of the ship’s detailed specs. They were hidden under three levels of cover but now we can begin to see the layout in all its paranoid stupidity. It’ll take much longer to follow through all the twists but the guys have put together a patch that should work for now. We can shut it all down, excise whole areas, and replace them with simpler and more reliable versions later but this fix should be stable for a while.”

  “If hiding the essential information was A.D.U.s idea we should expose that and destroy them. If it was the governors’ doing I’m not sure how we’ll deal with that,” Hasley said.

  “I want your advice on one bit,” Eroder said. “One subsystem gives the A.D.U. guys feedback that tells them they still have remote controls. With the patch in place that’s not accurate, plus we could use that route as a portion of a subsystem to make another control routine more efficient. Should we let them know we’ve changed things or mislead them but at the price of some reduced reliability?”

  “It’s better that they know and know that we know,” Feedle said. “It’ll be instructive to see if they ask about why they’re not getting that feedback. I’ll be fascinated to hear how they defend putting us in that danger – if they even mention it.”

  They all looked up as the lights flickered and came on brighter and the techs gave one another their version of high-fives, which for Ormelexian involved startling complicated movements of their feet.

  Eroder hurried over, checked the readings on the main console, then announced to the whole ship, “Hula boola wattinghams, my fellow travelers. We’re back in business. All the readings show all systems working efficiently again.”

  As they left the area Feedle said to Hasley and Lacrat, “I watched the continuous feed from Wilburps before we lost power. As things got confused and he didn’t know what was happening or if he would be able to get home Nerber looked more and more scared and upset – which made him a much better show element.”

  “Which means we, or more precisely the home audience, want to see him that way. If being out of contact produces the desired result we’d be dumb to let him know we can hear his every whimper and record his every shudder,” Hasley said.

  “That’s just the kind of mistreatment Yelpam wanted enforced protection from,” Lacrat pointed out.

  “But we didn’t promise him that either,” Feedle said with a nasty chuckle. “We’re the show’s producers so it’s our duty to get the most useful performances from the actors. That’s what we’re rewarding them for putting out and putting up with.”

  * * *

  With the power restored Biccup returned to the transport room and used the equipment there to scan for the signal device in Limbrush but could find no evidence of the zerpy.

  After several scans of the whole area around its landing spot he stopped his search. “For the log I’ll enter that it was lost in transit so there’s apparently still a problem. With the changes in the ship’s major control routines that may have fixed itself but too late for that old cleaning zerpy. If by some quirk the inhabitants found it or do so later there’s little chance anyone at home will connect anything those here learn from it with what happens when we’re all long gone. Nothing for me to worry about or upset any official types about.”

  He shut down the whole transport system.

  * * *

  Not much later the three producers looked around their office, startled and annoyed, when Icetop and Yelpam entered without signaling and waiting for permission.

  “What do you want?” Feedle demanded angrily.

  “What we were promised will suffice,” Icetop said. “Less than that creates problems.”

  “Why haven’t you sent the message assuring our increased reward to the home office as you said you would, Hasley,” Yelpam asked.

  “Never you mind, get out of here and make yourselves useful,” Feedle shouted as she jumped to her feet to stand nose to nose with Yelpam in a threatening move. That lost its effect when he stepped onto her feet and shoved her hard - so she sa
t down in an undignified flop.

  Hasley slid over in his chair to get between Feedle and Yelpam as he said, “In case you haven’t noticed, things have been a little hectic, guys. I’ll get to that when I can. First-most things go in the first places.”

  “Empty containers make the most noise but empty promises cause the most bad news,” Icetop said. “If we can’t trust you, why would we be there when you need to trust us?”

  Icetop and Yelpam left.

  Feedle jumped up to go after them, muttering to herself.

  “He had a weapon and was ready and willing to use it,” Hasley said to her without trying to block her.

  “I could take him,” she insisted belligerently.

  “Only by surprise in a dark hallway when he was carrying a big burden,” Hasley disagreed. “From now on I’d be worried about being the one ambushed and removed from the roster of the living though. You probably won’t even know which of the several candidates did you in.”

  “What does this all mean, Hasley?” Lacrat asked.

  “That we just made enemies out of important crew members,” Hasley answered. “There’s the them that includes all the various techs and the us that number three. The captain and the balky contestants I’d expect to stay neutral. The numerical odds are against us. Even more reason to be nice to everyone but keep our backs to the wall.”

  “Couldn’t we smooth things out by sending the messages to make sure they get the increased reward shares as you promised them?” Lacrat asked.

  “Don’t be naïve and silly, Lacrat. We don’t give away rewards for not doing what we want them to, we only talk-talk nonsense like that,” Hasley said.

  “I’m not confident about the odds. In my analysis the bottom-most lineage is that we producers may or may not be more important to using the stored show material for maximum profit once we’re there, but the techs are far more important to anyone onboard getting home alive.”

  “They won’t rebel because if they do we can get them publicly executed when we get home,” Feedle said.

  “Which assumes we all get home alive. There are no guarantees about that and they can probably find more ways to terminate us than we can imagine doing to them,” Lacrat said. “Plus they don’t have to openly rebel to ruin us, they only need to arrange for signals we want to restrict to certain groups to reach others. They don’t even have to touch us directly, they can let others do the dirty work. The really vipsig mermin for them would be to get us home just in time for us to be the centers of attention at three public executions.” He left the room.

  “Can we trust him?” Feedle asked, nodding after Lacrat.

  “Even less than before but neither of us ever fully trusts any of the others,” Hasley said.

  “I’m glad we agree about that.”

  Chapter 32

  A full wall of Whizybeam’s program edit room was multiple view-screens with a single large control console. The rest of the decor was bright but plain. Scenes of the ship seen from a higher orbit hovering just behind Earth’s moon, and Earth seen from lunar orbit were on different screens. Several different scenes of Nerber on Earth were on other screens. Svenly and Venrik sat facing the console in the only chairs, as Hasley, Feedle, and Lacrat entered and stood behind the chairs.

  “Ah, you want the news,” Venrik said. “The rumor is that the Power Players will likely take a controlling interest in A.D.U. for the increased money and clout.”

  “So they've shown the first episode and it's a hit,” Feedle said in a tone that said this is what she had predicted.

  “Official word from A.D.U. is that it didn't flop. Word from your guy inside is that it’s a monster hit,” Svenly said.

  “It pays to pay to have friends with eyes and ears open in as many places of consequence as possible,” Hasley agreed.

  Feedle shrugged, “Successful producers take good care of the techs and office workers with access, then they get the essential inside dope on what everyone else is saying and planning while keeping their own operations securely private. It's essential in order to pick the safest path through the tangle of ego traps, twists hidden in fine print among the boring details, and supposed understandings of business deals.”

  “It's not surprising that the first episode would get good ratings. A.D.U. would hype the show so at least every Ormelexian would know about it,” Lacrat said.

  “Another friend reports that, as expected, they juiced up what we sent to stretch it and make it more like everything else being shown,” Venrik commented.

  “They demand that programs be original but not very much so. They're afraid to lose audience share for a short time to find out if really different stuff would get big ratings,” Feedle said shaking her head.

  “One A.D.U. insider says they expected to have to stretch what they got a lot but more has been coming through than we know about,” Svenly reported.

  “Okay. About that,” Hasley said. “It turns out that this ship has a few extras built-in that we're not supposed to know about. Those include a program to send the continuous feed from any zerpies on the planet surface directly to A.D.U., bypassing us. We're not supposed to know that's happening or be able to access it. Nerber and Wilburps, the only zerpy being affected now, almost certainly don't know about it.”

  “Can they do that? Legally I mean,” Venrik asked.

  “That'll be a long lawyers fight later. The point for now is that they were doing it until we raised objections,” Feedle said.

  “By that she means we found and altered the program ourselves. Now the feed comes specially coded only to us. We record it and edit it in our office. We then send on enough to keep A.D.U. thinking there are technical problems with the program, the hardware, or the long distance the messages have to travel,” Hasley noted. “Now that you guys know about this we’ll let you access, monitor, and edit that feed.”

  Lacrat said, “We're interested in mentions of what they're using the new material for but this is important, you mustn’t say anything to anybody about us finding or altering their system. If A.D.U. learns about this there'll be major problems. That means the prospects for us to squeeze more money from them for the additional material that by technical flukes we recorded but their program didn't send on to them get lost in a maze of legal questions. Understand?”

  “None of us can even talk about this outside this room and our work room,” Hasley said. “Those are the only guaranteed secret-intercept-free areas of the ship.”

  Venrik and Svenly nodded that they got it.

  “Every crew member's contract gives him a share of any bonuses or extras so we all benefit if this doesn't get out until we have contracts signed with whichever distribution company makes us the best offer,” Feedle reminded them.

  “Okay, show me the new edited bit that we're going to send home next,” Lacrat requested.

  Venrik keyed in code. All the screens blanked, then came back as a composite view of Nerber with Adam and Edith Parker in their living room as the hamster scampered across the floor and Nerber jumped up onto the sofa holding Wilburps and squealing, “Is that what?” Adam looked astonished but grabbed up the hamster.

  The screens blanked then come back with a repeat of that visual but with newly dubbed audio.

  Nerber now said, “What an interesting fuzzy thing that it seems you are familiar with so I am not startled by it, only showing how agile my kind can be.”

  “You are clearly a superior type. I am impressed by your vigor,” Adam now commented.

  “I'll stay and review the whole package and then have them send it on,” Feedle assured the other producers.

  * * *

  Back in the producers’ office Hasley and Lacrat settled into their chairs. Lacrat tapped a button on the console

  Eroder promptly appeared on the screen from the control room and said, “Guys, we need to talk. The strain of staying just out of clear sight of the planet behind the edge of their moon has revealed engine damage we apparently sustained coming
through the snaggiewarp.”

  “How much damage, Eroder?” Hasley asked, not convinced yet that he needed to worry but prepared to conclude that in a hurry if he got really bad news.

  “Enough that I'm having trouble keeping us aloft. Before long we may have to land to try to make repairs. That may have to be either on this moon or even on the planet itself.”

  “So that's why we stayed farther out in view of the planet for longer than we had planned when we took our first good views of the place and sent Nerber and his zerpy down,” Hasley said.

  “That's it. I was just finding the problems and learning what the ship would and wouldn't do. At first I wasn't sure we'd even be able to get back here behind their moon.”

  “What about the orbiting zerpies?” Lacrat asked.

  “They're both doing a good job,” Eroder confirmed. “The one moves out far enough to send and receive messages from home when their moon or their planet blocks the direct path but stays out of sight from the planet most of the time. The other has to stay at the edge of the moon to send and receive messages to and from Wilburps but we raise and lower its orbit and move it around the moon's circumference to keep it from being too obvious by always being at one spot.”

  “Wilburps says the inhabitants spotted something up here and are watching closely for anything unusual,” Hasley said.

  “That zerpy was made to look like a chunk of rock so it's not obvious that it's a transmission satellite but it's important. Without it we can only send messages home for the small part of each rotation of this planet when our position here behind their moon is directly facing the snaggiewarp,” Eroder pointed out.

  “But the fact that the rock is close to the moon but not crashing onto it or continuing on by has probably focused attention on it,” Lacrat suggested.

  “Nerber reported that the inhabitants are in a state of high alert and fear about alien presences. That would be us. They're organizing their defenses,” Hasley reported.