Far-out Show (9781465735829)

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Far-out Show (9781465735829) Page 32

by Hanna, Thomas

“Thanks for finally sharing that bit of important news! We don't know what kind of weapons they have but now I know I may have to dodge them?” Eroder was more than a bit annoyed.

  “Relax, Eroder, we're hidden behind the moon. They only think there's a rock in a strange orbit up here,” Hasley said.

  “Sorry, Hasley, but he has a right to know that Wilburps reported it was the ship, not the satellite that was first spotted and set off the alarm among the inhabitants,” Lacrat said. “It turns out too that, as we found when we got here, they have units able to reach and orbit their moon since there are several doing that at lower orbits than our own right now.”

  “Maybe I was happier not knowing all that,” Eroder growled.

  “Unavoidable reality confirmation,” Lacrat said.

  “More lousy defective equipment problems,” Eroder grumbled.

  “Which part now,” Hasley asked.

  “The orbiting zerpy back then. At first that wasn’t focusing right and was ignoring a lot of the signals coming from down there. I kept the ship out where it was visible from down there longer than I planned to make it easier for the techs to correct the ninxy zerpy’s problems since it was essential to your plans - which is when the engine problems started. Well, we can't change things just by wishing it. We do what we can, which means especially to prod Yelpam and Icetop to figure out how to fix the engines.”

  Hasley gestured a farewell and disconnected. Feedle entered and took her seat as the screen went blank.

  Hasley challenged the others, “What do we tell A.D.U. in order to turn this into an opportunity?”

  “Every chance we get we want to exaggerate the dangers we're facing and complain that the equipment they gave us is defective and untested, not the state of the art they claimed,” Feedle. “We need to be doing that no matter what else happens.”

  “We may not be exaggerating the dangers that much though,” Lacrat told her. “Eroder just told us that the ship is damaged so there's a for sure real chance that we'll be stranded here.”

  “More reason to complain about the faulty equipment and that we're not making enough of the profit from this operation. We took advantage of losing Zipper to make the point to them that these aren’t just theoretical dangers. Mitzelfinkeldork! We always knew there were theoretical dangers but they're actual for all of us now,” Feedle grumbled.

  Hasley admonished her. “Language, Feedle! We can't let our fear distract us, we need to think clearly. The techs are working on the engines and they're ace problem-solvers. Our job is to deal with the guys at home so the whole crew will be properly rewarded with the maximum profit for our collective efforts when they get us there intact. Definitely we want to play up the dangers we're facing. Maybe we want to start playing up the uncertainty about the outcome, building up the idea that we could all be lost and the show cut short.”

  Feedle replied, “We know a lot of the nervous talk at A.D.U. and the Power Players as they worry about bad reactions among the masses to the hype they generated. We need to remind ourselves that A.D.U. only owns the show until they toss out the current contract. When they do that - and their history suggests they’ll do that as soon as they think it puts them at any disadvantage - we can sell the rights to the show to the competition. Think big.”

  They all grabbed something solid to steady themselves as the ship lurched, shook, and all the lights went off leaving them in total darkness.

  “Even the console lights are off,” Lacrat noted. “That means all the power is off.”

  “Again,” Feedle said. “We seem to be having a repeat of the same failure Eroder said the techs had fixed. Get him on screen.”

  After a long moment Hasley said, “It seems that this time we’ve lost even communications within the ship, Feedle. Maybe you should stumble down the dark hallways to the control room and shout at him and distract him while he’s trying to figure out what went wrong this time and how to fix it without even the help of feedback from the systems.”

  “I won’t prissypritzl anybody. If he’s in charge and he says it’s fixed I expect the same bad things not to happen again,” she insisted, her Ormelexian version of hackles up.

  “Gee, I guess ‘I can’t give you any guarantees on this’ doesn’t mean anything in your talk-talk list book,” Lacrat said. Quieter but to be heard he added, “We’re fair warned since we know you’re a pro at the selective memory thing.”

  “Hey, you...”

  “Spare us your bile and focus on whether there’s anything we might do to survive,” Hasley said with as much take-charge emphasis as he could muster.

  The stored energy reserve lights came on in the room.

  Feedle was glaring at the spot where Lacrat had been but found she was wasting her energy on an empty spot since while they were in blackness he slid far to the side in his swivel chair. She decided he did that to avoid her wrath and that gave her satisfaction. No need for her to mention and confirm it.

  She turned to wither Hasley with words for daring to dismiss her righteous anger but found that he had shoved open the door and was gone and Lacrat was close behind him. She haughtily took a seat to wait for them to return to beg her forgiveness and grovel to make peace.

  * * *

  Hasley and Lacrat found the control room doors sitting open and Eroder, Molten, Biccup, Icetop, and Yelpam all gathered at one or the other of the consoles. Mobile stored power units were in evidence, several with cables attached to the consoles.

  “What’s happened, Eroder?” Hasley called from the doorway.

  “What we don’t know bit our backends,” Eroder replied as he keyed some code into the main console and waited for an indication of the effects.

  “It looks like the test signals from home to find out how much control they lost due to the changes we made messed up at least one major system in ways we didn’t predict based on as much as we knew when we made the first patch,” Icetop said.

  “One system shut down and that affected others. We got a full cascade effect,” Yelpam added.

  “Can you fix it?” Lacrat asked.

  “Ask us that again after we’ve tried a bit more,” Eroder said. “We have ideas about the details of what probably happened and all the interconnected consequences but we’re only partway into verifying those guesstimates. We can only put together a better patch to avoid traps when we know what did happen, not just what might have happened.”

  “Can’t you just switch it all back to the original default programs and get things working again?” Lacrat asked nervously.

  “We’re not sure if that would work,” Eroder said.

  “Plus that puts us back to the start when we’re at least partway to safety and independence,” Icetop noted.

  “But it gives us back life-support systems,” Lacrat said.

  “We have some time before anything gets close to critical level,” Molten said. “We’ve already agreed to find out as much as we can about the way things are hooked together before we take out the patch.”

  “Are you sure that’s safe?” Lacrat worried.

  “Not for certain sure but that’s a tech and command decision and I’ve agreed to it,” Eroder said to end that line of commentary from the one they all knew as the biggest worrier.

  “Our analysis of the test signals they sent had alerted us to some pathways we didn’t know about or even suspect existed before that. This sequence of parts failures gives us more bits of the puzzle. We’ll only be safe from dangerous interference from afar once we understand the whole layout enough to change it to one that makes better sense,” Yelpam said.

  “Bips fump, these deliberate complications are such mimzy-plishers. I want to punish those responsible,” Biccup grumbled.

  At that moment Feedle strode into the room and shouted, “Come on, why haven’t you fixed this by now?”

  Hasley and Lacrat cast worried glances first at her, then at the several techs. To their relief at this moment but longer term concern, each and every one of the others
sneered, laughed, or simply shook his head in disbelief at Feedle.

  “Ah, you finally arrived, Feedle. We’ve been waiting impatiently for you to arrive and tell us in the minute detail for which you’re known exactly what the problem is so we can fix it,” Eroder called without looking in her direction as he focused on the console.

  Before she could reply as she clearly intended to, Hasley hurried over to stand close in front of her. He whispered to her, “We need the full cooperation of these guys who can figure out how to get the ship working and get us home. You’re expendable. Think about that.”

  He turned and walked back over close to the console to watch what the techs were doing without waiting for or indicating any interest in her reaction or reply.

  Lacrat had watched and listened to that. He also now turned to watch the techs so he wouldn’t have to get involved.

  Feedle decided a dramatic exit was called for, then halfway into that decided she would be better off knowing what was happening so she should turn back. Her momentum kept her going in the original direction so she turned, actually staggered in a full circle. If any of the others in the room noticed they didn’t bother to indicate that for now.

  After a whispered conference with Eroder, Molten went to a side wall and removed a panel to expose a closet-sized space largely filled with hardware. Everyone else turned to watch.

  Extending a handheld sensing device Molten checked out various areas of the crowded space.

  Based on the readings from that device he bent over to peer deep into the space. He strained a bit to get the device closer to that area but that was too awkward. So he got on his knees and, careful not to dislodge any of the cables and pipe-like connectors in there, slowly inserted his upper body, arm with the sensor extended, into the space. Biccup went and knelt beside him, ready to pull him to safety if that was needed.

  “What’s he doing?” Lacrat asked Eroder in a whisper.

  “Looking for what isn’t there,” Eroder answered. After a long moment to enjoy the producer’s confusion about what that meant and whether he should ask for clarification the captain said, “He noticed an area in there where nothing shows up on our standard scans. Not nothing unusual, nothing at all. He wants to convince himself that he’s right about that.”

  Eroder paused as if that should explain everything, only a small twinkle in his eyes letting out that he was having more fun with Lacrat the worrier.

  “Stop playing around and tell us what we need to know to decide if you’re acting prudently and smart, Eroder” Feedle snapped as she stepped closer.

  He gave her a long appraising look with the smallest hint of a grin then said, “Molten suspects there’s an important systems junction enclosed by a...” He hesitated when a message appeared on a console monitor screen. “Hmmm. Molten, you get our thanks and extra basking time at top brightness level when we can spare the energy. You figured it right. Your sensor triggered an alert message. Of course it doesn’t say exactly what’s in there, but it warns that whatever it is will likely be unrepairably damaged if that unit is opened.”

  “Does that mean they really did doom us as their alternative to letting us act on our own?” Lacrat asked.

  Icetop said, “At least-most it means they added an extra challenge to amuse us. We don’t believe that even the dunkipfeck prisdinks who planned this extra deanferdupe would install anything that they couldn’t remove. It follows that if they could remove it so can we, although it’s more of a job without knowing its design secrets.”

  Biccup scrambled out of the way as Yelpam lugged over a device that resembled a tripod-mounted machine gun from another wall storage compartment.

  “We’re not going to be subtle about it though,” Eroder said. “We’re losing all patience with the kinks. There’s a special covering to hide it from the standard scans. Once we knew it’s there though we could verify what that covering is made of. Now we can remove that cover to see what other ninxy silward knots the fidgemits built into the innards of this ship.”

  Molten withdrew far enough from the wall space to let Yelpam slip the leading end of that device a distance into the space. Molten manually aimed it at a dull gray box near the back of the space that now seemed more significant although its actual appearance hadn’t changed.

  “What are you going to do?” Lacrat asked nervously. “You won’t do more damage that might really be unrepairable as you try to remove that will you?”

  “It’s risky but we’re brave guys. You could go and take refuge in the security pod if you insist,” Eroder said. “With the power off the remote control that has blocked our access to that is neutralized for a time.” The techs were all focused but still enjoyed Lacrat’s distress.

  “They’ve locked us out of the security pod? How long have you known this?” Lacrat asked, agitated by this news.

  “That was part of the package of long range overrides that made us determined to put the first patch in place,” Eroder said. “Only a small factor since that pod’s only big enough to maybe keep two alive if all other systems fail but part of the picture of how we’re deliberately being left in danger.”

  “Uh, what do you mean when you say it will maybe keep two alive in a disaster?” Lacrat asked.

  “Like all the hardware, it hasn’t been tested under any realistic conditions,” Hasley said. He wasn’t happy about it but he understood what they were being told. Then he flipped into deal-with-it mode and said, “We should get a zerpy in here to record this. The real stress in the room would make an audience pleaser behind-the-scenes show episode.”

  His suggestion got an approving nod from Feedle, a look of ‘how can you think about anything else at this moment?’ from Lacrat, and annoyance from Eroder and all the techs.

  “No zerpies in the work zone,” Eroder said. “Their signals can interfere with our tools and sensors.”

  Feedle said, “Hey, I’m in charge of the show...”

  “But I’m the captain, so my decision on this matter stands,” Eroder said, making it clear there would be no debate about it.

  Feedle looked to Hasley for backing, but he shook his head that he wouldn’t go there. Lacrat even more obviously wouldn’t.

  Assuming his sarcasm would be evident as he moved over beside Eroder, Biccup called, “You three are the show-makers, you can go and fake a recording of what you think will be good viewing with you guys playing the parts of techs. We’ll be interested in seeing that episode.”

  To his surprise, all three producers seriously considered that idea.

  “The audience wouldn’t know the program edit room from this one,” Feedle said quietly. “We’d only need one working zerpy. It’d be more convincing while there’s still some doubt about whether we’re going to survive.”

  “Or we can get Venrik and Svenly to start scripting episodes for the picture-making guys in the company’s home studio to depict for showing,” Hasley suggested.

  “You don’t want to be an actor and star as well as a producer of your own show?” Eroder asked.

  “It’s better to be a name without a face,” Hasley said.

  “He means if things don’t work out he won’t want to have the citizens on the street recognize him and harass him,” Lacrat said. “We’ve talked about this. Until it’s time to show up to be honored on an awards program, faceless to the masses is best.”

  “We’re ready,” Yelpam called from his spot kneeling near Molten whose head was still in the wall space.

  Biccup finished his scan of the console and tapped Eroder on the shoulder to indicate he saw no problems. Icetop called from the side console where he was checking things, “Okay.”

  “Let’s do it,” Eroder said.

  There was a faint sizzle sound and a bit of smoke billowed from deep in the hardware space but quickly dissipated.

  Molten stuck the handheld sensor in there, checked the readout, and called, “It looks clear from here.”

  Yelpam moved the big gun-shaped device aside, the
n he and Molten scrambled up and went to the second side console.

  All the techs were too focused on the material on the monitor screens to say anything. The producers were forced to wait for an update on the situation, Feedle far from patiently.

  “Great job, Guys,” Eroder said, then sat back in his chair.

  Yelpam sat at one side console entering instructions with Molten watching over his shoulder; Biccup moved over to watch from behind Icetop who worked away at the other. The producers continued to have to wait for an update on the situation. Hasley now joined Feedle in being openly annoyed by the delay.

  Eroder called, “Anyone see a problem?”

  “Looks okay to me,” Yelpam responded.

  “Nothing,” Molten agreed.

  “Hold it!” Icetop called as his fingers flew across his keyboard. After another moment that seemed to go on for a long time while everyone else waited tensely he called, “Check the triple loops in sector nine, sub-boxes fifteen through twenty. Is that a problem?”

  The techs all brought up the information on that location on their monitors and pondered what signals were directed where. The producers continued to have to wait for an update on the situation, all of them edgy now.

  “Goolimansions! Those sneaky dunkipfeck prisdinks!” Eroder could hardly speak he was so surprised and angry. “It’s good you caught that, Icetop.”

  “What did you fidgemits almost do to us?” Feedle asked.

  “There’s a really sneaky feedback loop that would send home the details of our second patch around their remote override controls,” Eroder. “They get the advantage of knowing all we did while we’re still digging out the details of the systems as they set them up before they gave us use of Whizybeam.”

  “What difference does that make?” Lacrat asked.

  “They know how to try to undo what we did while we’re still maybe in the dark about what we’re stuck with,” Hasley said since he followed the implications of what was said.

  “Frinxbedunk grumpkers we’ve installed the second patch but we haven’t activated the changes yet,” Eroder explained. “Icetop recognized that the sub-routine that would send that message home might also, intentionally or not, activate the ship’s self-destruct unit. It’s not clear that it would detonate that but it would at least make it more unstable. All without us knowing about it since the sub-routine is designed to block any report on that activation.”

 

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