I pull back and rub the tears from her pale and bruised face with my thumbs. “Tell me you forgive me, sweetheart. I need to hear you say it.”
She shakes her head, and my chest tightens. “You didn’t … do this.”
“But I did—”
“It was Kellan.” She interrupts me, then looks around the room quickly as if she feels his presence. Like his ghost is here to haunt her. He won’t. That fucker is burning in hell. “Cole.” Her wide and watery eyes meet mine again. “Cole, he told me—”
“I know.” I interrupt, giving her a soft smile to calm her fears. I don’t want her to be afraid of anything anymore.
“But he …”
“Shh,” I tell her. “It’s okay, Austin. I know.”
She licks her wet lips and takes in a shaky breath. “Where is he?”
“Never coming back,” I answer, and she closes her eyes as fresh tears run down her face.
She’s doing great. She did eat too many ice chips this morning and ended up getting sick, but Shelby said that was normal. She was able to have soup for lunch and kept that down. Progress. I’ll take it.
“What day is it?” she asks no one in particular.
“The twentieth,” Becky answers, sitting next to her bed.
Austin’s face falls. “What is it?” I ask, pushing off the wall by the window.
Her eyes meet mine. “Why are you here?”
I frown. It’s like her birthday all over again. Maybe she has memory loss. I need to ask Shelby about that. “Why wouldn’t I be here?”
She looks up at the clock on the wall. “It’s almost six. Graduation started three hours ago.”
The room falls silent. I go to open my mouth, to tell her some bullshit lie like the school burned down, but Becky beats me to it. Only she tells the truth. “We didn’t go.”
“What?” Austin gasps. “You can’t miss graduation.”
Deke shakes his head. “It was already decided, babe.”
She glares at Deke for calling her babe, and he just smirks at her. Then she looks at me. “Cole, you can’t be serious.”
I nod, crossing my arms over my chest. “Of course, we are.” I don’t think the school expected us to show anyway, considering I was accused of murder just four days ago. And the fact that Austin is in the hospital recovering from a gunshot wound and Kellan is still missing. Pretty sure they would escort us out if we even stepped foot on school property.
Her green eyes well up with tears, and she sniffs. Shelby told us this would happen. That the drugs they have been giving her would make her extremely emotional. She was not joking. She cried earlier when she applied some Chapstick to her lips while thanking me. You would have thought I was God bringing her lips back to life.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Deke tells her.
“Why would you guys skip graduation?” she asks as if she isn’t important to us. Like we would just leave her. I haven’t left this hospital since I got here, so why would I leave now that she’s awake?
“Because …” Deke answers. “You’re our little sister. Plus, we already put in all the work. We’re getting that diploma whether we show up or not.”
Fresh tears roll down her face.
There’s a knock on the door, and Shelby walks in. “Hey? How are you feeling?”
“A little sore,” Austin answers, wiping the wetness from her face.
Shelby walks to the end of her bed. “I’ll bring you something for the pain. I just wanted to let you know that a couple of officers were just here wanting to talk to you.” Austin’s eyes go big. “But I told them you need your rest and to give you until at least tomorrow.”
“What do they want?” she asks.
“They want to go over what happened and see if you have any information on Kellan’s whereabouts.”
The room falls silent because even though the guys and I haven’t spoken it out loud, the girls suspect we killed him.
She just nods once. Shelby leaves, letting her know she’ll be back soon with those meds. Austin lays her head back and sighs heavily. She’s tired. She made a lot of progress today and needs some rest.
“Not that I care, but has anyone heard from my father?” she asks. “Does he know that Celeste is dead?”
Silence fills the room once again.
She slowly sits back up, and her eyes go to mine. “Cole?”
The final dare. She thinks we already killed him. “He’s been arrested,” I answer.
Her brows lift. “For what?”
“We turned him in for trying to kill Cole.” Bennett finally speaks. “I wiped out everything on Jerrold’s laptop except the evidence and turned it over.”
“Yeah.” Deke nods. “They had him on the news. The police went to his office and removed him in handcuffs. Guess he’s in trouble for some other shit too. They’re looking into his emails and got a warrant to search the house …”
She gasps, and I tilt my head. Why would she be so worried about him?
“Cole, you have to go to my house,” she says in a rush.
I shake my head. “No—”
“Cole.” She interrupts me. “You have to go to my house. I have all the recordings hidden there. What if the cops find what I have on you guys?”
“Recordings?” Becky stiffens.
Deke raises his brows, looking at me. Hmm. I had forgotten about those.
“Right now,” she adds, her green eyes big.
“Babe, calm down.” I walk over to her. “It’s okay …”
“What if they find them?” She repeats herself, and she begins to cry again. “I can’t … I’d never forgive myself if you guys get in trouble …” She begins to sob.
“Okay. I’ll go.” I don’t want her upset. I want her better and out of this fucking place so we can move on with our lives.
“Right now?” she asks, sniffling. I nod my head. Then she looks over at Becky. “Will you go with him?”
Becky looks like she is about to refuse when Austin looks at all of us. “Will you give Becky and me a moment?”
“Sure.” I lean down to kiss her forehead and then follow the guys out.
“What do you think she wants to talk about?” Deke asks.
“I don’t know.” I sigh. “She was pretty shaken up about it, though. You can ask Becky when she comes out here.”
He shakes his head. “We’re not speaking.”
“I got that.” It was awkward sitting with the two of them in Austin’s room.
“Still mad at you over Evan Scott?” Bennett asks.
“Among other things.” He sighs, then adds, “It’s over.”
Bennett’s eyebrows rise to his hairline, and I frown. “What do you mean it’s over?”
He looks down at his phone and begins to type. “I wasn’t being cryptic, Cole. I said it’s over.”
The door behind us opens, and Becky exits. She looks at me, then Bennett before looking down at the floor. “I’m ready when you are.”
“I’m gonna head out too. Have a few things to take care of. I’ll be back,” Bennett says, slapping me on the back. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks, man.” I look over at Becky and grab the keys out of my pocket. “Give me a minute with Deke.”
She takes the keys and then walks out after Bennett, knowing I was dismissing her. I turn to Deke, and he’s still typing away on his phone. “Writing a novel?” I joke.
His hands pause over the keys, and his blue eyes narrow on me.
Deke is a jokester. That’s who he is. I have a feeling now that he and Becky are over, he won’t be that way for a while. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Nope,” he answers in a clipped tone, then he goes back to typing.
Okay. “Will you stay here with her?” I ask. “I don’t wanna leave her alone—”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He interrupts me before walking back into her room.
CHAPTER TEN
COLE
BECKY SLIPS INTO the passenger seat,
and I get into the driver’s seat. As she pulls on her seat belt, I notice her body is rigid. And it doesn’t escape me that we haven’t been in the same car together since …
“Are we just gonna sit here?” she asks, interrupting my thoughts but not bothering to look over at me.
I start the car and shift it into gear, jaw clenching. “Scars” by Boy Epic begins to filter through the speakers, and I turn it up to drown out any conversation we could possibly have.
Twenty minutes later, I pull up to the house and stop in front of the five-tier water fountain and turn off my car. The music cuts off, and silence follows. She just sits there, staring down at her hands in her lap. Becky and I avoid this kind of situation—being alone together. She wanted to deny Austin’s request, but whatever she said to her had her agreeing to it.
I take a deep breath. “You sure you wanna go in?”
She finally looks up at me, annoyance on her face. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I’m not sure how much they have cleaned up since … it happened.”
Her face falls. She hadn’t thought of that, but I did. I sure as hell don’t want to be here, but if it makes Austin happy, then I’ll do it.
She finally nods and gets out of the car. I follow her after grabbing my hoodie out of the back seat.
Yellow crime scene tape blocks the entrance to the house, so we make our way to the back terrace, and I wrap my hoodie around my right hand.
“What are you doing?” she asks, sounding apprehensive.
I tighten my hand around the fabric and throw it into the glass of the back door, shattering it. She gasps, and I look at her over my shoulder. “How else were we gonna get in?” Austin didn’t have a key on her.
She lets out a huff and looks away from me.
I reach into the broken glass and unlock it from the inside, then shove it open. We make our way through the silent house, and sure enough, we see blood on the marble floor at the bottom of the stairs in the grand foyer. Becky covers her mouth and coughs. The stench of blood is overwhelming because it’s sat here for four days now. You can make out where Kellan was straddling Austin when she stabbed him due to the pool of blood there. You can see her handprints where she pushed herself up to run from him. Then there’s another trail where he followed her into the kitchen where she called me.
“Jesus.” Becky gasps, taking a step back and pressing her back against the front door. Her hand comes up to cover her mouth, and it shakes.
I take the stairs two at a time and enter Austin’s room. I’m surprised when Becky enters behind me. She slams the door shut as if that will keep the smell out. It won’t.
My breathing begins to pick up. It’s been a month since I’ve been in here. Last time was the night of prom when Deke and I came to pick her and Becky up. When her father gave her the check. Her bedspread and top sheets are wadded at the foot of her bed. A pair of shorts and her white Chucks litter her floor. Her backpack sits over by her nightstand. Her curtains are pulled closed, and I try not to think of everything that has happened in this room, from me threatening to hurt her to spending all night with her between the sheets. My chest tightens at some of the things I did to her.
“What do you want from me?” she yells, her anger rising as easily as mine does.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“No,” she snaps.
“Everything.”
She lifts her right arm. “You want me to bleed for you? You want me to go to jail for you? You want me to fucking kill for you? Jesus, Cole.”
“I want all of those things. And more,” I say with a nod, and her eyes narrow on me like I’m playing some sick game. She’s not wrong. “Don’t you see, Austin? I’m that guy who wants to take everything from you. I want to destroy you. I want to hurt you.”
“You already have,” she says through gritted teeth.
I smile. She’s referring to her stitches from where I cut her. I could make her bleed to death for me without a fucking knife. “You have no idea what I can do to you. You have no idea what I’m capable of. I could make you nothing.”
I flinch at that memory, and my hands fist down by my sides. Fuck, I gotta get out of here!
I enter her walk-in closet and go to the back. On our way here, Deke had sent me a text to let me know Austin had hidden her recordings in a knee-high boot. Not sure what would make her think the cops would go through her shoes, but here I am, doing as she asked. I pick it up and tip it upside down. The USB drive falls into my hand, and I wrap my fingers around it.
I stand and grab her laptop off a shelf above where her jeans hang and then walk over to her bed. Sitting down, I push the power button.
“She doesn’t have any luggage.” Becky sighs, coming out of the closet.
“Her suitcase is at the clubhouse.” Before we broke up the morning after prom, she was spending a lot of time with me there. She left it, and I never offered to give it back to her.
She huffs and runs a hand through her blond hair. “I’m gonna go downstairs and grab some trash bags then.” She bites her bottom lip nervously before she leaves the room. I also notice that she doesn’t shut the bedroom door when she leaves.
I look back down at the laptop and notice it’s not on. I press the button again. Nothing!
The fucker is dead.
“Hmm,” I mumble to myself. Where would her charger be? I look over to my right and open her nightstand. I don’t see a charging cable, but I do find something else I want. It’s a black and white notebook with two words written on the cover in Austin’s pretty handwriting. Fuck off!
I pick it up, forgetting about the laptop for a second, and open it.
I lied to Cole today.
Those are the first words I see written on the random page I turn to, and my brows shoot up. It’s a diary? A journal of some sort.
Not like it matters. He’s never been truthful to me. Or anyone else. He asked me if I still spoke to Martin. I said yes. The truth is I haven’t heard a single word from him. I shouldn’t care. I didn’t love him. He was more of a distraction. He would come pick me up, take me to a party somewhere, and we’d get high, and … I’m not sure what you would call it. We didn’t make love, and we sure as hell didn’t fuck like Cole and me.
I smile at that, then it drops off my face when I read the next line.
I hate Cole! Hated him! I don’t know anymore. I’m confused. He has blackmailed me! Used me! Made me bleed. But I can’t help but want him. Maybe it’s not him per se. Maybe it’s the way he makes me feel. If that even makes sense.
When I was with Martin, I never felt butterflies in my stomach or giddy. I never had that oh my God, I’m head-over-heels in love feeling. I don’t have it with Cole either. Thank God. Instead, I feel like I’m on fire. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the only way I can think to describe it. He touches me, and I can’t breathe. He takes all my air away. When he places his lips on my skin, I swear they burn me. I’m screaming for help, for someone to throw me in a lake and put out the flames, but no one can hear me. No one even sees me. He says he wants everyone to know that I’m his. But maybe that too is a lie because no one is listening to my cries for help
And I hate how much I like it. Crave it. My ex treated me like glass. Cole treats me like I’m unbreakable. Always pushing me and waiting for me to call mercy. It won’t happen. I’ll let the fire burn me alive before I admit defeat. And that’s what scares me the most. I’d rather burn in hell with the devil than freeze to death.
And I’m learning more about him every day. He hides from everybody, but I see him. He’s hurting. I’m not saying his anger and hatred aren’t real, but I just know it’s more than that.
I swallow, realizing just how much of the real me she knew, and turn the page.
He lied too. To everyone. He took the fall for something he didn’t do. And I don’t understand. He covered for Eli, but the question is why?
I thought he was the devil, but he’s so much more than that. And that terrifies me m
ore. I can fight demons, but Cole? Well, he’s a whole new game that I’m not sure if I want to win or lose.
“What are you doing?”
I look up to see Becky standing in the bedroom. With her right hip pushed out, she’s holding a box of trash bags. Her eyes drop to the open journal in my hand, and then they meet mine again. She drops the box and crosses her arms over her chest. “You really have no boundaries, do you?”
“No,” I answer honestly.
She sighs. “I was on your side, Cole. I was rooting for you to finally change. To love her. I thought if anyone could change you, it would be her.”
“I do love her.” She’s the second person I’ve admitted that to. And neither one has been Austin.
Becky tilts her head to the side. “I’m not sure you know how to love, Cole. Not anymore.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I demand.
“You don’t hurt the people you love.”
My teeth clench. “I thought I was protecting her by walking away. How was I supposed to know Kellan would step in?” You did know it. You just don’t want to admit that.
She shakes her head as if that’s not what she was referring to. “You walking away was probably the best thing to ever happen to her, Cole.”
I slam the notebook shut.
“Deke told me what you had him do. How you had him post the two videos of her online.”
“That’s none of your business,” I growl.
“What will you do to her next?” she demands. “Huh, Cole? How much longer are you gonna make her suffer?”
“I made a mistake!” I shout. “You can’t stand there and tell me you’ve never made one.”
She looks me up and down with disgust. “I’m nothing like you.”
I arch a brow. “Really? Wanna compare secrets? ’Cause we both have plenty.”
Her blue eyes narrow. “Fuck you, Cole!” She storms into Austin’s walk-in closet.
I follow her and lean up against the doorframe, blocking her in so she has nowhere to run. “What do you think Deke would say if he knew—”
“Don’t you dare!” She interrupts me, throwing down a pair of Austin’s shoes, not even letting me finish my sentence. “Deke doesn’t need to know anything.”
DARE SERIES COLLECTION Page 46