Feeling Bradley behind me comforted me during an intense contraction. I kept my breathing steady, just as Mam had taught me over the years. Back before we moved to the Amish community, she had taken Lamaze classes and used those teachings to ease each of her girls through the births of their children. All I knew was that it was a helpful tool in easing pain and lessened the necessity for the use of pain killers. I’d heard tell that birthing twins was a lot more painful than a single birth and I hoped the breathing technique would be enough to get me through.
My birthing team entered through the kitchen door, kicking snow off their boots and wearing eager faces. After shedding her winter-wear, Mam placed a loving kiss on my cheek. A painful memory of Mam flashed through my head and I determined to push it out of my mind. I was not going to let the past interfere with such a happy day, but I secretly wondered if I would ever stop thinking of those abusive years with her.
A contraction more severe than the others interrupted my immediate thoughts. They were now so intense they nearly knocked the wind out of me. I didn’t remember any of my other births being this painful. The contractions were coming one on top of another, with very little time for me to catch my breath in between. I knew I was getting close, but I wasn’t yet ready to surrender to the intense pain. When I cried out with a new contraction Bradley went to set up the bedroom and prepare for the birth. Mam tried to pull me from the counter to get me up the stairs, but I wasn’t ready to go yet. I knew it would be difficult to get me up there once I hit what Mam referred to as the transition phase.
Before I realized, Bradley was once again at my side alerting me that he’d prepared our room. With much difficulty, they managed to get me upstairs and onto the bed just before my water broke. Two pushes later, Emma made her appearance. Mam took her aside and cleaned her up while I prepared myself for the next one. Suddenly, I felt a pain worse than any other I’d ever experienced. I felt a strong urge to bear down, but Bradley warned me to wait.
I sat up in the bed, leaning on my elbows in time to catch the strained look on my husband’s face.
“Is something wrong?”
He looked up at me just then. “I need you to stop pushing, Jane, so I can turn the baby; it’s not in the right position.”
Hannah and Nadine each took one of my hands, while Mam coached me to slow my breathing. The pain was almost more than I could bear, but within minutes Bradley gave me the green light to push again. Before I realized, Isabelle had made her way into our family. Tears of joy fell from my eyes when she let out her first little cry. I breathed a sigh of relief at having two healthy babies, and knowing the hardest part was over. As Bradley was finishing the clean up, I could hear my other children outside the bedroom door, eagerly waiting to see the newest members of our family.
****
As the weeks passed, I settled into a nice routine with the twins. Though it was a lot of work, and I felt their feeding schedule was non-stop around the clock, Bradley and Abigail were at my side every step of the way. If not for them, I would have been too exhausted to enjoy my new babies, but they took turns with them to allow me to sleep whenever the twins slept. Elizabeth and Lillie took over most of the kitchen duties, while the boys kept the farm in perfect working order. I was proud of the way my older children pitched in and took care of what was needed to make sure the family’s needs were taken care of.
December brought with it a lot of snow, and I was grateful I’d planned ahead and purchased yard goods to make the children clothing for winter. Bradley and I had decided to have a different sort of Christmas with the children than I had in the past with them. He confided in me that he had a rather large savings that he’d been adding to over the years, hoping to one day spend it on a family, and now that he had one, he wanted to splurge a little. I gave in to his indulgence for the children’s sake, and we took my parent’s van to shop at the large toy store in town. Mam stayed at our house to help Abigail with the twins so I could go along to help choose things for each child.
On the way, I let Bradley know that we couldn’t be too extravagant since I didn’t want to spoil the children, but I had to admit, I was eager to get them something special for a change. However, I wanted to be sure the children didn’t lose sight of the real meaning of the holiday by being showered with too many gifts. My parents had always gotten the children worldly gifts, but they were always respectful and conservative so as not to cause strife with Elijah’s parents.
****
The second week of December, Josiah Beiler had asked permission to officially court Abigail. Though I was happy about her choice in suitors, I was sad at the thought of losing my first-born daughter. I knew she was mature enough to handle herself, and I also accepted that she intended to marry an Amish farmer just as I had, but I couldn’t help but feel that things in my household were changing so fast I could scarcely keep up with them.
Though Eli had been offered many opportunities from the young women in the community, he’d kept his focus on his studies and his goal to be college-bound in just a few weeks. I respected his dedication, and his earnest desire to make his father proud. As I reflected on the first time Eli told his papa he wanted to go to college and become a doctor, it brought tears to my eyes remembering the happy tears it had brought to Elijah’s eyes at the time. I knew it would be difficult to get through Eli’s graduation and his send-off to college without his papa present, but we all knew he’d be looking down from Heaven and sending his love our way.
****
Christmas morning we woke to near blizzard conditions. Since I was the only one in the family with new babies, Mam called me to let me know everyone would be coming to our house for dinner. She assured me everyone would be bringing prepared food so I wouldn’t have to do anything other than hosting. The children hurried through feeding the animals, milking Daisy and gathering the eggs, while Abigail and I prepared a simple breakfast. Once everyone was settled at the table, Eli read the Christmas story in keeping with the tradition of the meaning behind the holiday.
When everyone gathered around the tree, I looked around at all the faces; ten children in all. This would be our last year together in one household as a family, and I was beginning to get a little choked up. Eli walked over to me with a small package in his hand and knelt down beside the chair I was sitting in. “I wanted to get you a little something, Mam. Grandpa Jack helped me with it.” I opened up the small box and lifted a small hand-made frame that showed off a picture of my handsome son in front of Indiana University.
Tears welled up in my throat. “Did your grandfather take this picture when he took you to register?”
“Jah, I wanted you to have the picture so you would know where I am for the next four years. I carved the frame myself.”
I leaned over and hugged him, trying to keep my emotions in check. “It’s beautiful, Eli. I’ll put it on the shelf in the kitchen so I’ll see it every day.”
Bradley handed the children each a gift along with their stockings, then sat down to watch them open them. Before long, every gift had been opened except one. After enjoying the children’s reactions, the tables were now turning on me and all eyes were upon me as Bradley handed me the last gift. I looked up at him in surprise, feeling slight remorse at not having had the time to do anything for him. Though he’d told me having the twins was enough of a gift for him, I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty as I held the intricately wrapped present in my hand. I carefully untied the bow and removed the floral wrapping then lifted the lid of a small, velvet covered box. Inside was a gold ring with two rows of small, colored stones.
Bradley removed the ring and placed it on the ring finger of my right hand. “Each stone represents each of the children’s birth stones. They are small so I could fit all ten of them on the ring I had specially made for you.”
I held up my hand in front of me to admire the ring then stood up to hug my husband. All the children crowded us with a group hug. I was going to miss these moments once Eli
was gone. Our family was changing, and though I wasn’t ready, I knew it was time. It hadn’t really hit me until I watched Eli rave over the supplies we’d gotten him for college, and Abigail welcomed new items for her dowry.
After feeding the twins, the three older girls helped me set up our oversized dining table before the family showed up. Elijah’s parents would be included, as was tradition with my children. It made me happy to see that they had accepted Luke and Lillie and even the twins as their grandchildren. Since Bradley’s parents had passed on years before, he was grateful his children would have two sets of grandparents after all. Though there was some strain at first, Naomi surrendered to her love of children. I knew I would always think of her as my mother-in-law.
By the end of the day each of my children had more gifts than they’d gotten on previous Christmases and Mam had even presented me with a new braided rug for my family room. After finding out my own daughters had helped her make it, I felt very blessed. As I looked around the room at all the smiling faces, I realized how much these family gatherings had meant to all of us.
****
The following week was the busiest we’d ever had at our house. Eli packed his things while Bradley and the boys took care of the furniture that would be packed away in my father’s short-bed trailer he pulled behind his van. We’d rented a small studio apartment for Eli in student housing since there was no dorm space. His dorm would not be available until the fall when he was originally scheduled to begin classes. Because of his early enrollment, the university agreed to bend the rules and let him stay in the student housing.
Because our own home was overcrowded we’d planned on moving Luke and Simon to Eli’s room and putting the twins in the boy’s room since it was next to the master bedroom. All the moving and rearranging was wearing me out physically and emotionally.
****
Eli’s departure date arrived all too soon. I found myself grumbling when the sun came up and then chiding myself for such a terrible thought. Though I was grateful to God for every day he’d given me, no amount of gratitude would change the outcome of this day. Though I’d always known this day would come, it always seemed so far off.
Until now.
From out in the hall I could hear the children already scurrying about, but I wasn’t ready to face any of them yet. Bradley had gotten up hours before to assist my father with a difficult delivery of their new calf. To the best of my knowledge, he’d not made it back home yet. I made a mental note to call my mother to find out what time we’d be leaving to drive Eli to his new home for the next four years. The Mustang was still not running well enough for him to take it with him this time around, and I was all too happy about it since I didn’t want him driving in the snow.
I pushed back the covers and forced myself out of bed, though the dread that I felt was almost overwhelming. I swallowed down the lump that had formed in my throat, determined that I would not cry until the drive home from dropping off my first-born son. As I entered the kitchen, I noticed Simon and Luke resting shovels against the side of the house. They swung open the kitchen door as they stomped the snow from their boots; their cheeks were rosy and dampened from the thick falling snow. I knew they’d been shoveling a path near the house, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them their grandfather would be using his plow on the area later in the morning. He would need a large enough area cleared so we could load up the trailer behind the van to carry all of Eli’s things.
I looked into their frozen faces. “You boys want some hot cocoa?”
Luke matted down his static-laden hair after pulling off his knitted cap. “Thanks Mam, I’m freezing.”
I set a pan full of milk on the stove to warm. “Why don’t I call Grandpa Jack and ask him to run the plow over the driveway so you boys can stay in from the cold?”
I watched their eyes light up with relief, and though I knew my boys were hard workers; at the end of the day they were still just boys who didn’t mind escaping an occasional chore.
Simon spooned cocoa into his mug, then lifted his eyes to meet mine. “Does that mean we can go back out when we warm up and build a fort?”
I scowled at him. “I just offered to let you off the hook from shoveling and now you want to go back out and build a fort? Maybe I won’t ask your grandfather to plow if you have that much energy.”
He smiled at me, and I winked at him as I poured the hot milk into his mug. He knew I was joking, and I knew my boys would rather build a fort than shovel the driveway, and that was perfectly okay with me. There was a time when I had battled with Simon over doing his chores before he played, but he had matured and turned into a disciplined, hard working young man.
****
At precisely one o’clock, Papa’s van rambled down the hill toward our property. The boys were ready to load up Eli’s things. Mam rushed in through the kitchen door, closing it quickly behind her to keep out the cold air. Each of the twins were snuggly fit in their car seats, and I slowly packed their diaper bag for the trip.
Mam made eye contact with me. “Are you ready for this?”
Tears stung my eyes and threatened to spill over. “I keep telling myself I’m completely ready, but if I give it too much thought I honestly don’t know if I’m ever going to be ready for this. But he’s growing up and I guess it’s time to let him go. It’s not like he’s moving across the country. He’ll only be two hours away. I’ll see him in a couple of months during spring break.”
She smoothed back my hair. “The time will move quickly and each day will get easier.”
I hugged her. “I sure hope you’re right Mam.”
My father poked his head in the door. “We’re all loaded up. Time to go.”
Mam and I each grabbed one of the twins and headed out the door.
****
The ride was quiet except for the occasional joke from Papa. I never did understand his sense of humor, although it was comforting in the midst of a situation like this. None of us really knew what to say, and we all took a turn at making small talk, making a comment about the scenery or a particular land mark. Papa had even given Eli a lecture on not allowing the ways of the world to influence him. My father had always been big on giving advice or his opinion on any given matter, but even I didn’t want to hear this lecture. I was confident regarding my son’s morals, and knew that it was the other students that would eventually become influenced by Eli’s good nature.
The closer we came to our destination, the more my heart raced. I was grateful the twins had slept the entire trip. I hoped that after dropping Eli off, we could put some distance between us before we would have to break for me to feed the girls.
As we pulled up to the building where my son would be residing, I clenched my teeth and swallowed hard. I could not allow myself to break down in front of my son. I had hoped I’d gotten it all out of my system the night before when I’d cried quietly in my husband’s arms. My son was excited about his newfound independence and the journey that lie ahead of him. I was not about to ruin it for him. When all the men clamored out of the van, the commotion woke Isabel. Knowing she would need to be fed, I was happy for the distraction while they unloaded Eli’s things from the trailer. Mam stayed behind with me in the van to keep me company. By the time both twins were fed, the trailer had been completely unloaded. Eli stepped up to the van and opened the door.
He held out a hand to me and I took it. “Come see my new place, Mam.”
I pulled my hand away and stayed in my seat. “You don’t need me embarrassing you. You’re not a kid anymore.”
His smile faltered, and I couldn’t tell if I’d embarrassed him or hurt his feelings. So I stepped out of the van and followed my son who was eager to show me his grown-up new home.
SEVEN
AMAZING GRACE
“Mam, come quick!” Lillie called from the family room.
Fearing the worst about the twins, I ran from the kitchen, entering the room just in time to see my babies crawling for th
e first time. Since Jakob broke his leg playing field hockey the previous week, I’d been a little jumpy. Accidents of any kind worried me, since it was an accident that had claimed Elijah’s life, and a recent plowing accident that nearly claimed Mitchell’s life just after Christmas.
It had been a long winter for all of us helping Mitchell through his recovery, and I knew scrapes and bumps were a part of farm-life, but I feared anything beyond that.
I stood there out of breath, watching my girls crawling, pasting a smile on my face to cover the sudden fear that overcame me.
“Mam, you look like you’re gonna faint.” Lillie jumped up to steady my arm.
She assisted me into the nearest chair. “No, sweetie, I’m fine. You just scared me, that’s all.”
She kneeled down beside me. “I’m sorry. I guess I got a little excited. I just didn’t want you to miss the twins crawling.”
The Taming of a Wild Flower: Book Three (Amish Fiction/Romance, Christian Romance) Page 7