by Kylie Walker
He concentrated on his legs...they wouldn’t move no matter how hard he tried. Suddenly he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He tried to stick his hand in and pull it out, but there was no pocket there. What the hell is going on? Jesse smiled and put the knife to Chloe’s throat...Derek screamed again, silently...Jesse wants to kill her. I have to stop him. I love her.
“His hand moved! Derek? Baby, open your eyes.”
Chloe? Is that you? Are you okay?
“It’s okay to open your eyes baby. Open your eyes. Please. I need to see them. I saw you move. Come on honey, let me see those baby blues.”
I need to see you, Chloe. I need to hold you. I need to keep you safe. Can you hear me? Why can’t I hear myself talk?
“I think he moved his hand,” Chloe said, in an excited tone, this time to someone else.
“Sometimes they make involuntary movements.” That voice was unfamiliar. Who is she talking to? “That’s not to say he didn’t move. We took him off of all the sedatives yesterday and his brain activity is more active today.”
“What about the breathing tube?”
Breathing tube? Why do I have a breathing tube? Brain activity? Am I a vegetable? Do they think I’m unresponsive but I can still process what’s going on? Chloe! What’s going on? Talk to me again. Please talk to me. I’m suffocating in this nightmare.
“We’re going to ex-tubate him after he’s been off the sedatives for forty-eight hours...so tomorrow sometime.”
Ex-tubate? I have a tube breathing for me and now they’re going to take it out? What if I can’t breathe without it? Chloe! Please talk to me.
“If you need anything have the nurse call me. I have to go make rounds now and I’ll check back in on him later this morning.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
Derek felt Chloe’s warm hand in his. He tried to squeeze it but his hand wasn’t being any more cooperative than his legs. What the hell happened?
“Wake up, baby,” Chloe told him again. “Wake up and give me one of those killer smiles of yours. I want to see your sexy dimples.”
Derek tried to pull open his eyes. He wanted to see her too. He tried to smile, but his face wouldn’t cooperate. He wanted to know what was going on. He tried to ask, but no words would come out...no sound at all. His eyelids were so heavy. It felt to him like they were glued shut.
“Maybe that’s too much,” she said. “Maybe just squeeze my hand, baby. Can you do that? Squeeze it for me.”
Derek concentrated hard that time. He couldn’t squeeze, but he thought maybe his pinky finger moved. “That’s it!” Chloe said in an excited voice. “That’s it! One finger at a time, Derek! Try it again.” He put everything he had into that hand...this time his pinky and his ring finger moved.
“Yes! You can hear me! You’re awesome, baby!”
He was proud that he made her so happy. He didn’t know why moving his fingers was something to be proud of all of a sudden. He felt Chloe touch her lips to his forehead. Her lips were so soft and warm, but her cheeks were wet. She was crying. Damn it! He had to open his eyes and find out what was going on.
He let his focus go from his hand and back up to his eyelids. Come on, pull them open. Just a crack so that she knows you’re here...He struggled with them, they were so damn heavy and so dry.
“Your eyes are moving! That’s it, baby. Open those gorgeous blue eyes for me.”
He struggled harder until at last a sliver of light assaulted his right eye. It burned and he closed it as quickly as he’d opened it up. “Yes! You’re doing awesome, baby. Take your time. I know it’s hard...I want to see your eyes so bad!”
Derek struggled to open them again. It was giving him a headache, but he wasn’t going to give up. He wrestled with the lids that felt like they weighed a thousand pounds...finally they were both open just a slit. He couldn’t see anything except for lights and shadows. He tried to focus them. He needed to see Chloe.
“Yes Derek! Hi! Can you see me?”
No! All I see are shadows. Is that shadow you, Chloe? I wish I could talk to you. My voice won’t work.
“I’m going to get the nurse, okay?”
Derek told his hand to grip hers tighter...it did! He didn’t want her to go. Chloe squealed. “You don’t want me to go? I won’t go honey, I won’t leave you. Here, I’ll press the call light.” Chloe reached across him.
He felt the warmth radiating off her body and smelled the light tropical scent of the lotion she wore. His eyes hurt because they were so dry and holding them open made them hurt worse. He was afraid to close them though. What if I can’t get them back open? What if they don’t work anymore and I never get to see her again?
“Did you need something?” This time Derek heard a female voice he didn’t recognize.
“Yes! Look, he’s opening his eyes. He squeezed my hand too!”
Derek felt a presence on the other side of the bed.
“Well, look at that. Hi there, Mr. Stark. I’m going to shine a little light in your eyes, okay?”
Derek wasn’t completely sure what was going on, but he somehow knew that he was at her mercy. He felt his eye lid being drawn open by a finger. The light got stronger and the shadows deeper, but still no color and nothing solid...A light was shone directly into that eye and then she did the same with the other. The stranger slipped her hand into his on the opposite side of the bed from Chloe.
“Mr. Stark, can you hear me? If you can, squeeze my hand.”
Derek could hear her. He tried to squeeze her hand...he tried hard. He couldn’t do it.
“It’s okay, take your time.”
He tried again. His head was pounding...Damn it! His eyes were closed again. When did that happen? His fingers started to curl and although he could feel that it was weak, he wrapped them around the small hand of the stranger.
“He did it!” Chloe was so excited that he wanted to do it again, just to please her. “That’s a good sign, right? He can follow instructions?”
“Yes, it’s a good sign,” the stranger said. “I’ll let the doctor know.”
“Thank you!”
Derek felt Chloe’s lips on his forehead again. He was happy that he’d made her happy, but now he was tired. He had to sleep for a while and then he would try it again. He would squeeze harder after he had a nap...
Derek wasn’t sure how long he slept, but this time when he woke up the first thing he did was concentrate on pulling open his eyes. He had them open just enough to once again see the bright light. He couldn’t see anything else.
“Hey! Derek? It’s Jake, buddy! Can you hear me?”
Jake is here? Where did Chloe go? He concentrated on pulling his eyes open a little more and trying to focus them. The light is so bright. He blinked a few times and this time moisture actually accumulated in the corners of them. They weren’t dry any longer, that’s good...right? That will make it easier to keep them open anyways.
“You’re in the hospital, Derek. There was an accident. Can you hear me buddy? If you can, squeeze my hand.”
Derek’s head felt better from his nap. He concentrated hard again like he’d done with Chloe and let his fingers grip his brother’s hand. “That’s it, buddy! You’re doing it! I’m so glad! Can you see me, Derek?”
Derek could see a large shadow. His vision was blurry and it looked like nothing had any real mass. There was a big, dark shadow in front of him. He assumed that was his brother even though he couldn’t make out his features. I was in an accident? When? With who? Sarah? No, Sarah died in our accident. Chloe was here...
“Can you see me?” The large mass moved slightly to the right. Derek had to concentrate hard to do it, but eventually he moved his eyes and followed it.
“Hey! You can see me!”
Not really, unless you’re the shadow man, Derek thought. I do see something though. He pulled his eyes open just a little bit further...it was still blurry, but now Jake had shape to him.
“There you go, buddy.”
/> Jake hadn’t called him buddy since he was twelve. He must be in really bad shape, he thought. His brother was reverting to his childhood nickname. That couldn’t be good.
“There you go. You’re doing great! I’m so proud of you!”
Derek blinked a few times. Jake’s face was beginning to take shape. He tried to say something, but nothing would come out still. His throat felt raw. It hurt like a son of a bitch too.
“You’re going to be okay, Derek! We’re all pulling for you. We all love you and have faith in you!”
Jake wasn’t usually one for sappy, flowery words. This must be really bad. Derek thought again. He tried to move his legs again. He thought he felt a twitch in the right one, but the left one wouldn’t move at all. His eyes were starting to burn and dry out again. He closed them and again, he slept. The next time he woke up it was even easier to open them. It took him another few minutes to get his focus.
“Hey there! You’re awake!”
Hi Dad. Where am I? Where’s Chloe? And Jake? Derek was beginning to understand that they couldn’t hear him, but he kept trying. There was something getting in the way when he tried to talk.
The breathing tube? He thought that was probably what was making that annoying beep...swoosh...beep....swoosh noise too. As a matter of fact, there were all kinds of annoying beeping noises.
“Can you hear me, Derek?” His dad slipped his hand into his. Someone must have spread the word that he was squeezing hands. Derek squeezed it. For the first time that day...or had more than one day passed? Anyways, it wasn’t as hard as it had been before.
“Awesome! I’m so happy, son. You’re going to be okay.”
That’s what everyone keeps telling me.
“Mr. Stark?” A man’s voice.
“Hi Doc. He’s awake.”
“Good. He’s been waking up off and on for the past twenty-four hours according to the nurses. That’s great.”
Twenty-four hours? How long have I been here?
“Are you going to take the breathing tube out today?” Derek’s dad asked him.
“Yes. I’m going to ask you to step out here in a few minutes while we do that.”
They’re going to take the tube out of my throat. Then I can talk. Take it out now! Derek turned his head slightly towards the doctor.
“Did you see that? He turned his head!”
Yes I did. Dad’s as excited as if I just took my first steps. It’s cute...and scary. This must be really bad.
“Yes, I saw,” the doctor said, indulgently. “Hello Derek. I’m Doctor Browning. Welcome back. We’re going to have your father step out while we take that tube out of your throat. Hopefully you’ll be able to talk to us then.”
Yes, please. I’d love to know what happened. I want to see Chloe.
“Derek, I’m going to just be in the waiting room. As soon as they’re finished I’ll be back, okay?”
Okay, Dad.
“I love you, son.”
I love you too, Dad.
Chapter 9
August 12,
It’s been about a week now since Derek woke up. I thought every day when I was with him before the accident that I’d never experienced such joy...but today he caused me to surpass that. His dad was visiting him and he asked for me. He actually said my name! It’s the first words he’s said out loud since they took the tube out. He was able to breathe on his own right away, which is fantastic news and he seems to remember who we all are.
He uses a tablet with text to voice to communicate and every morning when I go in to see him he says, “Good morning, I’m so happy to see you!” It’s a little strange that it’s in someone else’s voice, but still very nice to hear. His motor skills are shaky, but the doctor says that’s normal. The therapists have been exercising his legs and he’s starting to move them on his own now. That was another huge relief as they weren’t sure if he had any nerve damage or not that might cause him to not be able to walk. They’re going to get him up tomorrow and see if he can walk. They said most likely he’ll need to re-learn some things and walking might be one of them. That’s okay though, I’m staying positive...he’s alive. I never saw anything as beautiful as when he opened his baby blues and looked at me that first time about a week ago. My heart actually skipped...I thought that was just a wives tale for hopeless romantics.
When he asked for me today, Kevin came out in tears. At first I was worried that he was upset because Derek was asking for me and not him. I quickly figured out that they were happy tears. He told me that hearing him ask for me was like hearing him say his first words all over again, thirty one years later. When I went into the room he actually smiled. His facial muscles hadn’t seemed to be working at first. He lifted his fingers off the bed and I took his hand and he said, “Chloe.” His speech was slightly slurred and his voice sounded weak and shaky.
My name never sounded so sweet.
He arranged his letters on the board and asked me what happened. We knew that would be coming and we had decided as a collective group to only tell him there was an accident. The police called Kevin last week and told him that the brake lines had definitely been cut and all the fluid drained. We know it was Jesse...but he was careful.
No one saw him and there was not even a trace of the fluid in the driveway. There were no fingerprints or hairs or fibers like you see on shows like CSI. Jesse was too smart for all of that. It makes me wonder how elaborate his plan is for getting rid of my body once he finishes with me. If they ever do catch him, all he can be charged with is Chantelle’s attack. Kevin tells me that will be his word against hers because in that case there are no other witnesses or evidence either. Since she is my best friend...the defense attorney would try and make the jury believe he was set up. It’s not likely a jury would buy that, but when your father is the D.A. and your mother is still pushing for him to help you...you just never know. I can’t wait around for that to happen.
The doctor said they’re hoping to move Derek out of the ICU by the weekend and into a regular room. He’s getting better every day although he has some problems that the doctor says he’ll probably have to be transferred to a rehab hospital for. The speech is one of them. He can say my name and he’s trying to say other things, but the doctor says it’s likely the nerve that controls his speech was partially damaged but will repair itself over time. The brain is a remarkable beast. The doctor says that in time, the brain can incorporate a new nerve, or a new pathway for his speech to follow. He did say it would be difficult and require a lot of hard work...but this was the most successful businessman on the east coast we were talking about. He’s starting out with more brain power impaired than most people have on a given day, I’d be willing to bet. He can do this. I have no doubt.
I’m ecstatic about him getting out of ICU also because each time he passes a level of care that brings him one step closer to going home. Samantha and Trevor came into the city to see him a few days ago and Samantha talked to Kevin about taking him home to their house when he was ready. Kevin had been planning to take him to the mansion and hiring a nurse, but Samantha was offering to care for him herself and Kevin like that idea better. I like it too. I’ll be able to spend more time getting to know my family while Derek heals. Before any of that happens, I have to deal with Jesse. This has to end.
I have a semblance of a plan in my head. When I spoke to Lexi a few days ago, she told me that she and Brock were going to Arizona in a few weeks for his cousin’s wedding. They would be gone four days. Somehow, I need to make sure that Jesse knows that. I’m pretty sure that he’s still following me, so that shouldn’t be too hard. The hard part will be giving Kevin and Jake the slip. They keep a tight rein on me and I do appreciate it...but this started with me and Jesse and that’s how it has to end. At least once a week I still meet with Max. He referred me to a gym here in New York too, so I’m still working out every day. I’m strong and I’m ready...I hope.
Roxi called a few days ago to see how things were going with Derek
and to tell me that they are having a going away party for Mike on Saturday night. Mike got an actual DJ job on the radio. I was really happy for him. He’s a great guy. She told me that they’re all meeting at her friends bar Club 234 at ten. I haven’t talked to Jake about it yet, but if Derek continues to improve, I would like to go. I thought that when I finally got the chance to escape that nightlife, I would never look back. But I realized that most of the people working in those types of clubs, that they were just like me...doing only what they had to in order to survive. They’re good people at heart and although I don’t miss the disgusting, perverse clients even a little bit, I do miss my co-workers and my boss.
I’m headed back to the hospital now. I get to watch Derek’s therapy session today. His therapist thought me being there when he tried to walk would motivate him. I hope so. I want him back worse than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.
******
Derek was taken to the therapy room by wheelchair. He was able to stand and transfer into the chair with the help of his therapist and his assistant. Chloe followed them, anxious to see how he was going to do.
“Derek, before we begin I want to just tell you what we’ve assessed so far about your condition. Your head injury seems to be located in the vestibular system. That’s a tiny little mechanism at the back of your skull here,” the therapist touched Derek’s head to show him. “That’s what shows up damaged on the MRI’s that you’ve had done. What this means is that you will very likely be strong enough to stand and walk and your body will likely remember how to do that. What you will probably have difficulties with is your balance. You’ll feel a little bit dizzy and like you’re going to fall. While we’re here in the therapy room, you don’t have to worry. We won’t let you fall. You can’t push yourself too hard either. Your body needs to be rested in order to recover...so when you’ve had enough, let me know. If I see that you look exhausted or your limbs are trembling badly or you look like you’re in pain, I’ll stop the session. Okay?”