by Sandra Brown
"Dammit, why?" Ross thumped the desktop with his fist. "Do you have another job waiting for you? You said you quit that one in the Panhandle."
"I did."
"So? What are you planning to do?"
"Find something else."
"Why, when I'm offering you a job right here? A damn good job."
Ross came out of his chair and circled the desk. Save for the silver hair threading through the dark strands, he was the man Jake Langston had always admired. Another spasm of disgust twisted his stomach. If Ross knew what he had done to Banner, he would be burying him instead of asking him to stay.
"I want you to be the foreman of Banner's ranch across the river."
Jake's head snapped up at the mention of her name. "Banner's ranch? What ranch?"
Ross was encouraged by Jake's sudden interest. "I set: aside some acreage for each of them, her and Lee, several years ago. I acquired the land cheaply, a parcel here, a parcel there, over the years. For the most part, it's undeveloped. I was giving Banner and Grady her share for a wedding present." His green eyes hardened appreciably. "You can't know how much I wanted to kill that bastard yesterday."
"Yes, I can. I felt the same."
Jake had seen Ross mad. He knew enough of his past to know that he could be deadly... literally. He didn't doubt Ross was capable of murder and could only thank provi-dence for interceding and preventing him from killing Sheldon. It would have served no purpose except to bring more hardship on the family.
"I would kill any man for hurting Banner," Ross was saying. "Sheldon didn't particularly overwhelm me as a husband for her, but I figured any father would feel that there wasn't a man alive good enough for his daughter. I couldn't fault Sheldon. I thought he was a safe choice. Since she got old enough to attract a man's attention, I've been afraid that some ne'er-do-well cowboy would come along and she would lose her head over him."
"You had every right to be afraid that might happen."
"He would marry her and give her nothing but children and misery while he spent my money on whores, gambling, and liquor."
Jake smiled grimly.
"At least Sheldon had a business, a standing in the community. I didn't worry about his morals." He cursed vilely. "I guess that shows what a rotten judge of character I am.
"Anyway," he continued, raking his fingers through his hair as though to wipe thoughts of Grady Sheldon from his mind, "we built a small house on this land for her and Grady to live in. Banner had already told him she didn't want to move into town. Now Lydia tells me that Banner wants to move there anyway, to start ranching as she planned. Without Grady. Without anybody."
Jake, caught up in Ross's explanation, responded honestly. "That's crazy. She can't do that."
Ross only grunted as though to say no one had better tell Banner she couldn't. "I had promised her a stud and a couple of mares to get started, but she also wants to try raising beef cattle in one of the less fertile pastures."
"What the hell does she know about beef cattle?"
"Not a damn thing. And neither do I except how I like my steak cooked." His eyes pierced into Jake. "But you do. It's a prime piece of property, Jake. You could do wonders with it."
At any other time Jake would have jumped at a chance like this. He would be in charge. He could run the ranch as he saw fit. Lord, what a temptation, what a ripe apple just waiting to be picked. But it was impossible for him to accept the offer, so there was no need even dwelling on it.
He left the chair and went to the window, sliding his hands, palms out, into the seat pockets of his jeans. "Sorry, Ross, I can't."
"Give me one damn good reason why."
"Banner," Jake said, turning around. She would raise billy hell if she could hear this discussion. He was sure she never wanted to see hide nor hair of him again, much less have her seducer running her ranch. "She'll want to hire her own foreman. I'm sure she has ideas of her own."
Ross chuckled aifectionately. "I'm sure she does, too, but the fact remains that I retain control of the property. I didn't think she would want to fool with it on top of all that's happened. But Lydia says she is dead set on moving over there. But," he said, lifting an index finger and pointing it ceilingward, "she has another thing coming if she believes I'll let her live over there alone and run a ranch by herself. In the first place it would be physically impossible. Banner's a strong girl, but she's not up to doing the work that needs to be done. No woman could handle it."
"You can hire other hands."
Ross cocked a dark eyebrow at him. "Cowboys just itching to get their paws on my daughter?" Jake quickly turned back to the window. "Uh-uh. After everyone hears what happened yesterday, rumors are going to fly. You know how men talk about women. They'll assume Banner had Sheldon so keyed up he was driven to seek out somebody like that Burns bitch."
"She's a beautiful young woman, Ross," Jake said quietly. "Maybe they're right."
"Maybe they are," Ross growled. "But Lydia and I raised her right. She didn't rouse him past the breaking point on purpose. I'd swear to that. And if he had any backbone, he could have bitten the bullet and lasted it out. In any event, I don't want a parade of lecherous cowboys applying for work just to get a glimpse of her.
"This thing will haunt her for a long time. Lydia and I are worried as hell about it. She's easy to hurt right now. She'll be desperate to restore her self-confidence. Some sorry cowboy could come riding in here and take advantage of her broken heart. I'd kill him on the spot, but such an alliance would ruin her for sure."
Her parents knew Banner well. Jake's hands balled into fists on the windowsill. He wanted to send them flying through the glass, to cause himself pain, to administer well-deserved punishment. Guilt tasted as bitter as bile in the back of his throat. It wouldn't leave him alone. It ate at him like a cancer. He was diseased with it.
Unwittingly Ross made it worse. "You're the only man Lydia and I would trust with her, Jake. Please do this for us. Take the job. It'll be the right thing for Banner and the right thing for you."
Jake kept his eyes closed, wishing he could close his ears as effectively. Finally he turned around slowly. He stared at the floor beneath his boots for a long time before he said, "I can't, Ross. I'm sorry."
"A hundred and fifty dollars a month"
It was a fortune. "It's not the money."
"Then what?"
"I can't stay in one place. I'm a drifter."
"That's bullshit."
Jake's smile was rueful. "Reckon it is. Reckon I'm full of it. You don't want an ol' cowpoke like me running Banner's ranch."
"The hell I don't. You're the best man I've ever seen astride a horse, second to me, of course." He flashed a boastful grin before becoming serious again. "Can't I change your mind?" Jake shook his head. "At least think about it while you're here."
Jake picked up his hat and headed for the door. He had already pulled it open when Ross stopped him. "Jake?"
"Yeah?"
"Even if I would take no for your answer, Lydia isn't going to. And you know what she's like when she makes up her mind about something."
* * *
She found him on the riverbank that afternoon where he was fishing. Without a word, she plopped down on the grass beside him. "Catching anything?" Obviously he wasn't. It was just as obvious he didn't care.
"Did you just happen by?" he asked around the cheroot clamped between his teeth. They were at least a half-mile from the house.
She smiled up at him, looking exactly like the young woman of twenty who had first captured his adolescent heart. "Ma told me where you were."
"And how did she know? Her knack for locating me when I don't want to be found is just plain strange. Once she found me dallying in a creek with Priscilla Watkins. I thought she was going to snatch me bald-headed. I was sixteen.'' He blew a cloud of blue smoke into the air. "Here I am thirty-six and she's still meddling into my affairs."
"She loves you."
"I know," he said, chagrined.
"That's the hell of it. I went over to her cabin and ate dinner. All of us were there. Ma, Anabeth and her brood, Marynell, and Micah. But there are so many of us missing. Pa, the babies that never even made it through infancy, Atlanta and Samuel. Luke." He stared reflectively into the water. "I still miss him, Lydia."
She laid a hand on his arm. "You always will, Bubba."
He shook his head, laughing slightly. "So long ago. But sometimes I still imagine I hear him laughing. I catch myself looking around for him, you know?"
"I miss old Moses that way." The black man had joined forces with them when the wagon train broke up. His former employer, Winston Hill, had been killed. He had nowhere else to go.
Moses had been Lydia's friend and champion during those first awkward weeks of her marriage to Ross. As they settled on their land, Ross busy with building the first barn for his horses and her tending to Lee, Moses's help had been immeasurable. She still considered him one of her dearest friends.
"On the day we buried him I remembered how he carried Luke's body into that circle of wagons. That and the way he cried with such dignity when Winston was killed. He was one of the most compassionate men I've ever known."
Jake covered her hand where it rested on his arm. "That summer changed all of us, didn't it?"
"Certainly Ross and me." She stared at Jake's profile. The maturity there was still alien to her and never ceased to surprise her. When she looked at him, she expected him to be the towheaded boy with round blue eyes who had found her in the woods. "And you, Jake. I think it changed you most of all."
He had to concede that. His innocence had vanished that summer. More of life's adversity had been crammed into those months on the wagon train than a man ought to have to cope with in a lifetime. Bubba Langston had grown up fast. One didn't grow so rapidly without its leaving traces on him.
Lydia raised her knees, wrapped her skirts around her legs and propped her chin on her knees. "I spoke to Ross."
"And he told you my answer."
"I'm going to change your mind."
"Don't count on it, Lydia. Don't count on me for anything."
"I do. I count on your friendship."
"You've got that, but—"
"We need you now. Help us get Banner through this calamity."
"I'm not the man for the job."
"You are. You've got the experience the job requires."
"I'm not talking about the work. It's... it's Banner."
Lydia laughed. "I'll admit she's hard to handle at times. She's willful and impetuous. Volatile. She's a grown woman, but Ross and I can't just turn her loose to make mistakes she'll forever regret."
"I'm not a policeman," he snapped.
"I don't expect you to be. I expect you to be just what you've always been to her, a friend, an ally. We trust her with you."
Goddammit, he wished they would stop saying that! He felt like hell as it was. Did they have to keep reminding him of his betrayal?
"You'll find someone else just as capable and probably much more trustworthy. She'll have that ranch operating in no time."
"You don't understand, Jake. Ross won't permit her to do this unless you stay and run that ranch for her."
The blond head whipped around. "That's not fair. He'll be punishing Banner for my decision."
"He feels that strongly about it. He told me today after his talk with you that he wouldn't let her move onto the land if you don't stay."
"Damn." He surged to his feet and began pacing angrily. His cheroot died a sizzling death when he sent it plunging into the sluggish current of the river. He unplugged the cane fishing pole from where he had stuck it in the mud and tossed it aside.
"That's blackmail," he said. "Banner won't take kindly to it either. Ross must see how important this is to her. Especially now."
"He does. But he's as stubborn as a mule. If he doesn't think it's best for her, no amount of her tears and tantrums will change his mind."
Jake moved to the water's edge and stared into its murky depths. His shoulders moved restlessly beneath a shirt that suddenly seemed to have shrunk. He was being backed against a wall and he didn't like it. Not one damn bit. Maybe Banner could be coerced, but not him. He didn't like shackles. Wouldn't tolerate them.
To hell with it. What did he owe them?
Then his shoulders sagged and became still. He owed them everything after last night. He couldn't give them back Banner's chastity, but he could make amends by staying if that's what they required of him.
"You should stay here anyway, Jake," Lydia said. "Ma's getting old. I haven't wanted to worry you, but she's not as strong as she used to be. If you ride off and stay for years this time, you might never see her alive again."
His heels dug holes in the moist ground as he turned and fixed Lydia with an accusatory blue stare. She lowered her eyes guiltily. "Ma's as strong as a horse," he said. "You're blackmailing me, too, Lydia."
She came to her feet with an agility and grace that belied her age. Moving close to him, she tilted her head back and met his gaze squarely. "All right. I'm not fighting fair. But I'm fighting for my daughter's life, and where she's concerned I have no pride. She needs you. We all do. I'm asking you, please, Jake, stay this time. Don't leave us."
He gazed down into the face that was never far from his conscious mind. He had loved it for so long he barely remembered a time when he didn't. He felt his defenses weakening, unraveling like an old rope.
When Lydia asked anything of him, could he refuse her? He had killed for her once, rid her of the stepbrother who had brought her nothing but disgrace and misery. That Clancey had been Luke's murderer had been a convenient coincidence. He would gladly have eliminated Clancey Russell from Lydia's life anyway.
"Don't give me an answer now," she said gently, taking his hand and squeezing it. "Sleep on it tonight. Tell us tomorrow.''
She climbed the knoll that sloped to the river and disappeared over its crest. Jake paced along the bank. The grass beneath his boots was deep and green. The trees overhead were lush with new leaves. The air was scented with wildflowers. He didn't notice.
What should he do?
He owed this to Ross and Lydia for being his steadfast friends for so long, but if he worked for them every day of his life from now on, he wouldn't be able to atone for last night.
They were sincere when they said they considered him the best qualified to handle the job. Hell, he could do the job. He had no qualms about that. But could he face Banner day after day?
His mother needed him. He had let her down. She would never ask him to stay, but she would be pleased to have him settled in one place.
And Banner. It always came back to her. She would need a strong back. She would need protection. Ross's argument was sound. Every yokel with an itchy prick would be panting after her now. Jake would do his damnedest to protect her. No man would touch her without having to kill him first.
He was surprised at the depth of his jealousy and the intensity of his possessiveness. He supposed it stemmed from her being Lydia's daughter, and convinced himself it had nothing to do with how responsive her mouth was, how sweetly she moved in his embrace, how good it had felt to be surrounded by her. Tight and warm and...
Damn. Will you get your mind off that and back to the point?
If he didn't stay, Banner wouldn't get her land. Ross could be just that bullheaded and still convince himself that he was acting in Banner's best interest.
Having robbed her of her virginity, could he rob her of her land as well? Eventually Ross would come around, but when? Banner needed this ranch now to take her mind off Sheldon.
Was that his answer then?
He would stay. Just until she got on her feet and things were running smoothly.
She wouldn't like it. There would be hell to pay. He'd witnessed several of her tantrums and knew that she had inherited temper from both her parents. Of course he would make it clear from the beginning that they had to put last night out of their minds, pr
etend that it had never happened.
He would convince her he was staying for her own good. Whether she liked it or not, he would be her foreman.
Miss Banner Coleman would just have to get used to the idea of having Jake Langston around.
FIVE
"What?" Just as Jake had thought, there was going to be hell to pay.
"What did you say?"
"I said that Jake has hired on to be your foreman."
As the words fell from Ross's lips, Banner's cheeks paled, then blushed a vibrant shade of pink. Her hands balled into fists and her back went rigid. Her hair seemed to crackle with indignation.
She had been summoned to her father's office soon after breakfast. Always before she had been able to wrap Ross around her little finger. This morning, with her future riding on his decision, she had approached the office door with anxiety.
It had been even more disconcerting to find that Jake was there too. He was standing with his back to the room, staring out the window. Smoke from his thin cigar curled around his head.
Banner went weak at the sight of him.
Did her parents know? Had Jake confessed? Oh, God, please no. The parents who loved her would be so disillusioned if they knew what she had done. Surely Jake hadn't told them. Their expressions were concerned, not censorious.
Lydia had smiled encouragingly. "Is that one of your new culottes? I like it. And the shirtwaist is a perfect fit."
"Good morning, Princess." Ross had stepped toward her and affectionately kissed her cheek. "You're still looking pale. Why don't you get outside today? Give Dusty some exercise." He led her toward the leather sofa and sat her down as though she were made of priceless crystal.
"Please stop fussing over me," she told them, showing some of her former spirit. "I'll survive."
She was so profoundly relieved that they didn't know about Jake that she could afford to be a trifle petulant.
But Jake was still in the room, a brooding presence. She was sharing space with him, fighting for every breath she drew. It was the first time she had seen him since... then.
She noticed things she never had before, like how his tight pants shaped his buttocks, dividing and defining. Had his shoulders always been that broad? His stance that indolent? His thighs that muscled?