Gabbi thanked her and dived straight in for the concealer, taking the handheld mirror off the kitchen counter, wiping remnants of cornflour water from her cheek.
They all held their breath.
She slicked the concealer over the ‘M’ of ‘Maplewood’, following the black line carefully and with force.
The colour was so very off. It was as pale as milk, and just looked like she’d Tippexed the word rather than hennaed it. So she tried blending a little, and there was the black again, shining through.
‘What about if you put it all over your face and then didn’t blend at all?’ Emmy suggested, so pleased this was someone else’s balls-up and not her own.
So Gabbi tried that, and then looked at them.
Emmy and Noelle spent a while looking her over, though both were only killing time because they didn’t want to be the first to say she looked horrendous.
Rae, however, had no qualms about this. ‘Urgh, you look like a waxwork figure. Who’s melted.’
‘Which is better though: waxwork, or c-bombed?’
They all lapsed into silence.
‘Well, thanks, everybody,’ Gabbi said, getting up. ‘I’m going to go and have my fourteenth shower of the day and then try and make myself look vaguely presentable for when the police come by for a visit later.’
‘Help yourself to anything you need from my room,’ Noelle called behind her, and when she was out of earshot turned to the others. ‘With that thick make-up on, did she remind anyone else of a reverse Donald Trump?’
Later that afternoon, Gabbi was in full-on panic mode, and Emmy was, to be totally honest, getting a little bit sick of her taking up all their time. Which was mean – she could see her predicament – but she would also really quite like to have a quiet evening cleaning up the rest of the mess and then sitting in front of the TV, resting her hands on her boobs for comfort and eating a takeaway.
Rae and her friends’ dramas had always seemed so much more chaotic than any dramas she and Jared had faced. Except now that they’d kissed maybe life would be full of dramas. They were both polite people – what if they decided to give things a proper go just because one of them didn’t have the heart to say it was just a drunk snog? What if she had to move down to Maplewood and have his babies, and live for ever more crossing the street to keep away from Annette, who was clearly never going to die?
She was tired, and her own brain was scrambling to find things to worry about because it knew she liked to worry, and it knew she needed to drown out Gabbi.
‘You can still see it, even under all of this the words still show through,’ she was bleating to her hair and make-up team (Rae on the hair, Noelle on the make-up, Finn trying oh so carefully with his big hands and a pair of tweezers to extract the earring from Gabbi’s nose). ‘I look fifty shades of ridiculous.’
Emmy glanced over. She certainly did.
Finn pulled back and flexed his fingers before going in. ‘Sorry about my big hairy hands right in your face,’ he said to Gabbi.
Gabbi shrugged. ‘At least they aren’t dismembered.’
At this, Finn just blinked at his wife, who opened her eyes wide. ‘You don’t know the story of the Hairy Hands?! Settle in, sir, this is Devon folklore royalty, and you need an education.’
Finn looked around at Gabbi and the other sisters, who nodded gravely.
Rae continued, ‘Picture yourself deep in the middle of Dartmoor – the sky is ink black, the mist as usual hangs low and cold, and you’re out there in your car alone. You have to drive between two isolated hamlets, Postbridge and Two Bridges, and you know you don’t want to.’
‘Let me guess, the road is called Killer’s Way, or Highway to Hell?’ interrupted Finn.
‘The road is called the B3212. But you don’t want to drive it alone.’ Rae crept closer. ‘Because as careful as you’re being, as hard as you squint into that dark night, as hard as you grip your icy fingers onto the steering wheel, BAM – the Hairy Hands will get you!’ She shot out her arms and grabbed Finn’s shoulders, causing Gabbi to shriek as he was gripping the piercing between his fingers.
‘It’s no joke, many a motorist has come to an untimely death on this stretch of road, thanks to these disembodied hands violently grabbing the wheel,’ said Rae.
Noelle nodded. ‘I heard there was a woman in the nineteen-fifties who was in a campervan nearby and she woke up to the hands trying to break in. Tap, tap, tap. Or rattle rattle. I’m not sure how they were attempting to gain access, actually.’
‘But whose hands were they, and why were they so hairy?’
Emmy reached far into her memory. ‘Hadn’t they belonged to an escaped convict from Dartmoor prison, who died on the road at the turn of the century?’
‘That sounds familiar. And prisoners back then were probably very gruff and hairy,’ said Noelle.
Finn was trying to follow. ‘But why are just his hands floating about?’
All three sisters were silent for a while until Rae spoke up. ‘Probably something to do with the accident, it’s not important, the important thing is that the Hairy Hands are true and you better watch yourself.’
The team went back to work, suitably spooked, and picking herself up off the sofa, Emmy wandered out of the room and up to her bedroom. She sat on her bed and let out a long sigh. This room was nearly no longer hers, in a way. The yellow walls were gone, and there would be new carpets and a new bed within the week; it was nearly as if young Emmy had never been here. Nearly – because the glow-in-the-dark stars were still on her ceiling. And although it was very early evening, it was already getting dark now that winter was rolling ever closer; so she turned off the lights and left the curtains open – the moonlight flooded in, and all she could see was the moon and her stars.
She lay for a while, lulled. Six weeks ago, she used to dread coming in here, feeling like she was in someone else’s room and like she just wanted to get out. Now it was her sanctuary, and she thought that maybe it always had been?
Her phone rang in the darkness.
‘Hi, Jared,’ she answered, keeping her voice low so their conversation stayed between them.
‘Emmy, we got so caught up talking about kissing earlier that I never said sorry about this morning at the police station,’ he said. He sounded out of breath and she presumed he was walking home. ‘I just finished my shift. I told them you had nothing to do with any of this.’
‘I don’t know if you should have said that,’ she replied, counting her stars. ‘We have a pretty kidnapped mayor downstairs right now.’
He laughed down the line. ‘Yeah, I heard she called and said she was at your house.’
‘One of your colleagues is still planning to come over and check up on her this evening. I don’t think it’s a good idea. Could you fend him off?’
‘I can’t…’ he hesitated. ‘I’ve actually been taken off having anything to do with the case.’
‘But it’s not a kidnapping!’ Emmy sat up.
‘The case is more the vandalism to the house and the shop; the kidnapping is just, well, “extra evidence”.’
‘Why were you taken off?’
‘Conflict of interest. After I admitted I was your alibi.’
‘Oh. Did you get in trouble?’
‘No, although I got a slap on the wrist for insisting I did the first interview with you.’
‘Sorry…’ Emmy walked over to the window and looked at the den in the distance. A smile formed, whether she meant it to or not. ‘So, about last night?’
‘About last night,’ Jared echoed.
‘So we’ve decided the kissing might continue. How different things would be if you’d gone home early, as planned.’ Her heart thudded for his response and she rolled her eyes. It was like teenage Emmy was here in the room, and this was all a big game of Dream Phone.
And, actually, it was just as fun.
‘I meant it, though – I was very glad I didn’t,’ he answered, and she thought she could hear a smile
in his voice, but that might be because she was in parallel remembering Bruce, her Dream Phone boyfriend, and his pearly white grin. ‘Do you wish I had?’ he asked.
‘I think I would have died of hypothermia if I’d slept outside on my own, so I was pretty happy you were there.’ A moment later she added, ‘For clarity, that was my way of saying I was happy you stayed.’
Outside her bedroom, Emmy heard the noise of someone running up the stairs and frantic whispering, followed by the doorbell. ‘I’d better go. I think that policeman is here and the mayor’s, well – it’s a long story, I’ll fill you in tomorrow.’
‘All right. Night, Em.’
‘Night night.’ She hung up and walked out the bedroom. Downstairs, she could see the police officer was standing in the hallway.
‘Psst.’
Emmy turned and there was Gabbi hiding behind Rae’s door. She was dressed in dark glasses, a floppy denim hat that was once a star possession of Noelle’s and Finn’s scarf, which was wrapped around her face.
‘I can’t go down there, not tonight,’ she whispered.
Downstairs, Rae and Noelle were fending off the officer.
‘She’s very poorly and she doesn’t wish to see anyone,’ Noelle was saying.
Rae stepped forward and glared at him. ‘Do you have any idea what it’s like to have your uterus lining break down and fall out of your vagina every month? Have you seen The Shining, and that scene with the corridor and the lift doors?’
‘Okay, okay,’ he said, hushing them with his hands in the air. ‘I get the idea. I’m sure she’s capable of saying hello for just a minute. According to those tampon adverts, you girls can do anything when you’re on your periods.’
Snarky arsehole. What would Rae do? Emmy thought. Her sister was a quick-thinking risk-taker, and never afraid to get her hands dirty to help others.
Hands dirty… She grabbed one of the henna-covered towels from the laundry basket, which was now stained with a deep, dark red, and she stomped downstairs. ‘Phew, you guys, it’s getting really messy up there.’ She flung the towel over her shoulder and watched the policeman baulk as he put two and two together as to what the markings on the towel were. Emmy ignored him. ‘I’m going to cook her a steak because she needs some iron in her ASAP.’
‘Maybe I’ll come back in the morning,’ he said, relenting, and backing out of the door.
‘We look forward to it,’ Emmy said, locking it behind him. She faced her sisters. ‘And in the morning, we go back to normal, yes?’
Chapter 22
When morning came, Noelle was sitting on Emmy’s bed, waiting for Gabbi to vacate the bathroom. The two of them were drawing up a plan for the day.
‘I think the carpet fitters will move furniture themselves tomorrow, we don’t need to do it all today,’ Noelle said.
‘No, I know, but that drink stain didn’t rub off the living-room wall, so we need to touch that up anyway, and while we’re at it I think we might as well just get on and get the old sofa out of the house.’
‘And Dad’s chair? What are we doing with that?’
‘It’s going in Mum’s room.’
‘I don’t think it’ll fit, Em. It’s ginormous.’
‘We can’t get rid of it.’
‘Do you want to take it home, Emmy?’ Rae said, walking into the room holding on to her fanny. ‘How long is she going to be in there? I am busting for a wee. We really should have added that extra loo downstairs.’
Emmy hadn’t thought of that. She hadn’t thought about having any of her old stuff back at her home – wasn’t that the opposite of what she wanted? But her dad’s chair… ‘Am I being silly and sentimental? It’s just a chair.’
‘Stop being so strict with yourself, just take the bloody chair.’ Rae twisted herself into a variety of yoga positions in an attempt to hold back the urge to piddle on the carpet. Although it was going tomorrow, so…
‘How would I even get it back?’
‘Finn and I could take it back with us and drop it off at yours. We were thinking of going tonight, actually.’
‘What?’ Noelle and Emmy said in unison.
‘For how long?’ Noelle asked.
‘For a couple of days, you knew about this. I’ve got the performance the day after tomorrow, and then I’ll drive back in time for us to go to Bonfire Night. So, Emmy, just give me your keys and we’ll leave the chair at yours.’
‘But, but, your car is tiny, and your husband is huge. It won’t be possible.’
‘He’ll be on the bike, he has to return that back home. So I’ll be convoying him in the car. Let’s just try it, live dangerously.’ Rae walked out the room and hammered on the bathroom door.
‘Wait a minute.’ Emmy walked out. ‘You can’t just bugger off now, we’ve got loads of stuff still to do. The house is still a mess.’
‘It’s not that bad,’ Rae replied. ‘And I’ll be around all day today to help. Tomorrow the carpets are being fitted so it’s not like we can do a lot then anyway. GET A MOVE ON, GAB.’
‘Do you think now is the best time to leave?’ Noelle asked. ‘Your friend is hiding in our house. The police are investigating you.’
‘They’re not investigating me, it’s a pissing trick-or-treat stunt. Can’t you two just cope here in Maplewood without me for two seconds?’
Emmy, as usual, struggled to find the words she wanted to argue back with. This was so Rae to up and leave just because she needed a break. Instead, she let a dash of her pettiness unleash. ‘You know, we were waiting for the bathroom before you.’
‘Your monobrow can wait to be plucked, Emmaline, unless you want me to burst.’
The door opened and out came Gabbi. Her nose was bright pink and swollen and she looked like she’d been crying. Her hair had toned down a tiny bit, and she’d brushed it into a side parting that sort of covered the shaved section, if you didn’t look closely and she didn’t make any sudden movements. The writing was still very much on her face. ‘I finally got the earring out of my nose,’ she said weakly.
‘Yes, girl, high five,’ Rae said before legging it into the bathroom and locking the door, a parting middle finger to Emmy.
‘So what’s your plan for today?’ Emmy asked Gabbi.
‘Well, I’m supposed to go to work, but I don’t know how that can happen, so I’m just going to call in sick. Can I stay here a little longer?’
Noelle and Emmy looked at each other.
‘We have quite a lot of house stuff to get on with today,’ said Emmy.
‘And Rae’s actually heading back to London for a couple of nights tonight,’ Noelle added.
‘I can help clean?’ said Gabbi. ‘Please? I just can’t risk being seen like this. I’m washing my face constantly and I can’t tell if it’s even fading. But I was having a look online this morning and there’s this make-up kit I can buy from Amazon that covers tattoos. If I order it today, it’ll be here by tomorrow, and then I can be out of your hair.’
‘Ahhhh, that’s better,’ said Rae, coming out of the bathroom. ‘Of course you can stay, Gab. You can sleep in my room and be the extra pair of hands these two are so worried about missing out on while I’m gone.’
This time, the entire gang were ready when Police Officer One came a-knocking. The sofa, which would come in handy one final time before being shifted outside later in the day, was to play a pivotal role.
Gabbi was to lie down on the sofa on her side – the left side, which was the side with the very rude word. She was told not to sit up, under any circumstance.
Rae was to sit by her side like she was Mother Teresa herself, holding hot towelettes to her forehead and the other, exposed cheek. Who could suspect Rae of any wrongdoing when she and the mayor were clearly so close?
Noelle was to answer the door and do most of the talking, if necessary, because she was all law-trained and stuff.
Emmy didn’t really have a job – in fact Noelle advised her to maybe stay upstairs and do something housy, given
her relationship with a certain PC Jones.
Finn was to make tea. He made a cracking cup of tea.
Ding dong.
‘Battle stations,’ Noelle whispered, and went off to answer the door.
Police Officer One stood on the doorstep and nodded curtly at Noelle when she let him in the house. ‘So, Ms Lake, may I see our mayor today or has something else got terribly in the way?’
‘I’m in here,’ Gabbi’s voice called out from the living room.
The police officer did nothing to contain his surprise and walked past Noelle and into the room.
It really was a beautiful scene. Rae cooed and spoke gently and massaged one of Gabbi’s hands.
Gabbi’s eyes fluttered. ‘Good morning, Officer,’ she rasped. ‘Thank you for your concern, but I’m really all right. We women are strong.’
He surveyed the scene. ‘Mayor Reynold, may I speak with you alone for a moment?’
‘No, I’m afraid not. I’m off work sick today.’
‘This won’t take long, ma’am, and it concerns a more personal matter to do with your house.’
‘I told your Sergeant I didn’t want to pursue any charges relating to the damage of my house.’
‘With all due respect, Mayor Reynold, your house is government property, and we also believe the vandalism of your house and that of Annette’s Newsagent’s to be linked. Therefore, it won’t be possible for us to close the investigation quite yet.’
Noelle cut in: ‘Taking the mayor’s health into consideration, I think it would be wise to ask any questions you might have at a slightly later date?’
‘And when exactly will that be?’ the officer asked with a sigh.
‘Very soon,’ Gabbi answered. ‘Just give me one more day. To recover. Thank you.’
The police officer nodded, stared hard at each of the players, and made his way to the door. ‘Mayor Reynold, may I ask what happened to your nose?’
My Sisters And Me Page 21