Crave

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by Serena Simpson


  I was starting to think that I deserved what I got. It was one thing to be taken against you will and abused. It was another when the court system, and the justice system condemned you to be abused. If the institutions that we know, and trust thrust you back into the hands of abusers, you start to think they know something you don’t.

  I’ve searched my life wondering what sin I committed that I was being punished for. I have no answers. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time feels like some arrant thought being said to stop probing deeply. But I had probed deeply and could come up with no other answer.

  Once again, I was in bed alone, no closer to the dream that kept me alive for years.

  “What’s wrong?” Cole’s deep voice sent a shiver through my body. I wasn’t aware of why he affected me this way. I was aware, painfully so of the shots I received today.

  I waited for Noah to speak. The silence in the room grew heavy as neither of us spoke until I thought I would drown in it.

  “I can’t fall asleep.” The words came out in a rush. I wanted to pull them back the minute they left my lips. “I think they must have been drugging me every night.”

  I didn’t like the thought, but I realized I was probably right. This way, they didn’t have to worry about me slipping away when they couldn't watch me.

  “Would tea help? I’m sure I can find some.” Noah said.

  That same shiver went through me. This was not the fantasy that got me through years of pain. I wouldn’t, couldn’t give into something I knew was wrong. It was a sin.

  What was done to you was a sin. The little voice in the back of my mind spoke. It was rebellious. I no longer cared what people said about me. I remember the first time I read the press coverage talking about my situation. I thought it might help. If I had stayed away from places like Facebook, it might have. Instead, I read comments from people who thought I was weak. Some said I invited the abuse that I got off on it. Some felt that if I couldn’t protect myself, I got what I deserved. Now I was radiating with anger and unshed tears.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Cole asked.

  Really? I’d been in counseling for years. Now the counselors I had weren’t in it for me. They were picked by the government. I knew there were good ones out there, but I hadn’t met them. Not one of them had ever asked me if I wanted to talk about it. They demanded, cajoled, even told me how to feel. They never wanted the truth unless I was reliving the painful details. They ate that shit up.

  “Yes.” I should have said no. If they knew what was done to me, I couldn’t stand to see the disgust in their eyes.

  “Do you want to come over here?” I could hear the caution in Noah’s voice.

  “Really?” I sounded a little startled and too greedy.

  “Yes,” Cole said.

  Don’t go I cried out. You will only get hurt, haven’t you been hurt enough? I slid to the edge of the bed before standing up. Damon and Nicolas didn’t think I was dying, but I knew better. Something or someone was coming for me. This might be my last chance. I walked to their bed.

  They moved apart making an opening for me in the center.

  “You don’t have to lie there,” Cole told me.

  I smiled and crawled over Noah to get there. I wanted to be in the middle just like I dreamed of for all those years. I laid there on my back. This was a mistake, but before I could move Cole’s hand slid against mine, then Noah did the same. I was holding both of their hands while their body heat warmed me.

  “My mom died when I was ten.” It seemed like a strange place to start, but it was the beginning. “There was no foul play. The doctors said it was just her time. She wasn’t even forty, I never understood that one. My dad changed after that. He still loved me and took care of me, but he was more closed off to the rest of the world. We became our own little island. When I was seventeen, he hired a personal assistant to live with us.”

  I hated the way he looked at me. He made me feel like a bug being studied or a commodity. I never told my dad because he was making his life easy.

  “What was his name?” Cole asked.

  “Paul Rutledge, he was up and coming in the circle of the rich. He came well recommended to my father. He was going to take over some of what I did for my dad since I would be heading off to college.”

  After my mom died, I tried to do anything I could for my dad. He decided I should be home-schooled. Not just schooled like I was a child but schooled with a focus on business management as well as overseeing our assets. College tutors taught me about money supplementing what my dad taught me. One teacher told me to ask to be allowed to take the final exam in all my business courses on day one that way I could graduate early. That was my plan.

  “One month before I was to head to college my father died in a car crash. They said it was an accident. I believed them at the time. I know better now.”

  After the accident, I wanted to give up. Just lay on my bed and wait for the grim reaper to come get me.

  “I was going to skip a year of college, but Paul insisted I go. This was my dad’s dream for me. That’s how he convinced me to go even though I was still mourning. It amazes me that I looked into the face of evil without realizing it.”

  My dad planned to drive me. Tour my dorm room, but all of that was gone. I ended up taking a plane and was told my luggage would meet me at the college. When I got to the airport, there was a driver there with a sign waiting for me. When I got in the car, my life changed.

  “Paul had me abducted from the airport. I flew to college since my dad was no longer alive to drive me. Eventually, I was returned to the house where my servants had been fired. My staff was replaced with one he hired. I was locked in the basement for six years. I still don’t know how I got out.”

  I didn’t want to look at them to see the pity in their eyes. I looked anyway. I saw understanding, but soon it would be replaced by disgust.

  “You don’t have to say anymore,” Cole said his voice was low, guttural like he was trying to keep himself under control.

  I’d come this far I needed it all out. My head was shaking, which went nicely with my body that was shuddering. He pulled me into his arms and spooned me. The warmth from his body seeped through my pajama’s calming me down.

  “When I was thirteen earth years I was kicked out of my home. I spent five years starving, being abused, and raped.” Cole told me his mouth against my ear. His warm breath fluttering over me.

  He said it without fanfare or emotion, but I knew it still hurt. You went on. You lived, but there were times it caught you unaware and for a minute you’re back in that place where you’re helpless.

  “He kept me in that basement for six years. I was fed enough to stay alive and no more. I went to the bathroom in a bucket. I was only cleaned when he washed me because he didn’t like raping me too many times if I wasn’t clean. I was beaten with his hands, a belt, or anything he could find handy. He did this when I wasn’t a good girl.”

  My stomach tightened. All through that time, I dreamed that one day someone would rescue me, love me.

  “Where is he?” Cole asked. I could feel his fingers on my hip. I knew he was trying to keep his hand from becoming a fist.

  “Dead. They said he died in jail long before the case came before the court. That just left me. I was broken and didn’t have a way to get my closure. The courts decided that I needed to be cared for, protected even though I was twenty-four. The last three years every move I make has been watched, judged. Every therapist I saw wasn’t one I picked. Now I think they’ve drugged me repeatedly.”

  “Did they hurt you?” Noah asked.

  He was quiet during the whole conversation. Now I didn’t know how much to tell him, them. What came before was one thing what came after was heartbreaking.

  “I have a scar on my chest,” Noah said before he sat up to take off his tee. He lifted his phone and turned the light on. He illuminated his chest.

  My eyes caressed his chest before stopping at the
knife wound close to his heart. He turned the light off and laid back down.

  “I joined the military out of high school. I wanted to fight for freedom and the American way. I loved the discipline and knowing I was helping others. I was sent overseas to fight. I was there five years before I came back stateside. I made a friend over there. My best friend to be honest. We practically did everything together except troll for women because he was gay. I think the two of you would like him.”

  Did that mean that Noah was bisexual? Wouldn’t he have looked for men with his friend?

  “What happened to him?” I asked.

  “We were supposed to meet, have dinner and hang out. We both had off. He never showed up, so I went looking for him. There were some men in an alley. They were kicking someone. I hate the strong abusing the weak. I went to stop it and found several members of my unit beating on Ron, my friend. One of them was the general’s son. I turned them all in.”

  “You did the right thing,” I told him.

  “The right thing isn’t always the best or the easiest thing. To say the general wasn’t happy was an understatement. They started the cover up the minute I talked to the MP’s. It should have ended there, but Greg; the general’s son came at me with a knife. Right in the heart. He almost killed me, but I was going to take him with me. We fought over that knife. I ended up plunging it into his leg's several times before a friend came to his rescue.”

  I placed my hand on his chest where I knew the knife wound was. I couldn’t see his eyes, but I could feel the fine tremor in his body. I knew he was caught up in memories of the past.

  “I was going to make sure he went to jail. It was going to be the end of his army career. I received a visit from his father when I was well enough for visitors. He traded my friend’s life for his son’s. My friend, John would get an honorable discharge with all his benefits. Or he would die on some lonely battlefield. I would be dishonorably discharged. Everyone knew what happened between his son and me. I would get to keep my medals as well as benefits although that one was tricky. I took it. I knew the bastard deserved to rot in jail, but my friend didn’t deserve to die because of who he loved.”

  “They say it’s a choice.” I hated myself for saying that, but even with what I was going through I was aware of what was happening in the world.

  “I know, and maybe they are right. They choose to marry or love the person that was meant for them. Why should a part of the population not do the same?” Noah answered not turning to look at me.

  That made sense and maybe that’s why I had a hard time debating this subject. I tugged on Noah until his back was pressed against my chest, and his ass was pressed against my pussy. Cole wrapped us both in his arms. Whatever notion I had of sin died a quick death. This is what I dreamed about when I was in captivity. I would be loved so much that they would press against me from each side keeping me safe.

  “When everything was over. The papers weren’t hounding me; and the court handed down their judgment of what to do with me. I was finally allowed to enter my house of pain. I thought it was over. I was sure I would crawl onto the bed lick my wounds maybe for months, probably for years but I would get better. In reality, Paul was replaced with Markovic and Robertson. I learned early that although they wouldn’t rape me, Robertson liked to use his belt. He used it often. When I tried to get help, I was told if I stayed in line nothing would happen to me. So, I spent my new life waiting to die.”

  That was my story. It wasn’t pretty, and I should have run away, but I was scared. At least, I wasn’t being held in a basement. How could I tell them that I didn’t know how to take care of myself after being captive so long? I knew eventually if I lived long enough I would run, but I needed to grow confidence in myself.

  I would tell them tomorrow. Tonight, I would sleep feeling safe.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Noah

  I wanted to kill them. Paul Rutledge was dead, but Markovic, and Robertson were still alive. Leta’s breathing assured me she was asleep. Cole’s breath was soft, but I knew he was still awake making plans. We didn’t talk. I finally fell asleep the words that we said replaying in my head. Even as I nodded off, I was sure I was missing something.

  “Hi,” Leta said softly.

  Cole and I were coming out of the bathroom. We needed some one on one time after all the revelations last night. There was also the fact that we were concerned that we pushed her too fast. Combined with the fact that I had to touch him. This mating business was going to guarantee I got laid often.

  “I’m sorry I invaded your bed last night.”

  “I’m not.”

  She raised surprised eyes to mine before she moved wary eyes to Cole.

  “I’m not sorry.” He assured her with a deep rumble.

  Damn, I wanted him again.

  “Do you do this often? I mean, invite women into your bed.”

  “We don’t share,” I assured her. Her stormy gray eyes clouded over in confusion.

  “I don’t understand.”

  I wasn’t sure I wanted to explain. This is where I would have to assure her that truth was indeed stranger than fiction.

  “I know,” Cole told her. “It has to do with the fact that I am an alien. I was hoping that you would take the time to examine how you feel about that. Then how you feel about Noah and me as individuals as well as being together. When that’s done if you want to know more, I will tell you.”

  She spent some time looking at the both of us.

  “I agree. I can tell you when I’m ready?”

  “Yes,” Cole told her.

  She got up, and we moved away from the bathroom. We were both wearing pants, but our shirts were laid on the chair backs. I walked to the fridge and pulled out a soda that was thankfully cold. Cole eyed me, but I shrugged. I knew I would need the caffeine as well as the acid, so I bought one last night.

  Now if only the acid could eat through the knot of tension in my stomach.

  “What’s next?” I asked Cole. I was at a loss about what to do.

  “We go to breakfast. See if there is anything Leta needs. She mentioned a haircut last night.”

  “What about the other potential victims?”

  “We have the ones that showed any promise under surveillance. I don’t believe Fuckin’ Naresh is coming after them. Leta is his target. I’m not sure why. We’re missing something Noah.”

  At least, we were on the same page. I didn’t think he was going after the others either, but there was something about Leta we didn’t know. There was a lot we didn’t know, but I couldn’t help feeling she had a link to Naresh.

  Leta came out the bathroom dressed in a pair of tight jeans and a shirt that showed off the soft swell of her little breasts. It was sexy as hell if you liked your women small. I liked mine with more curves, but I couldn’t stop eating her up with my eyes.

  “You look nice,” Cole told her.

  “Um, what he said.” Right because now my tongue didn’t work anymore.

  She grinned at me. It wasn’t the new smile she’d been trying on, but one that escaped that showed she was happy.

  “We’re going to get breakfast. Cole said you wanted a haircut, so we’ll get one next.” I tried not to trip over my tongue as my dick reacted to her smile. I only had Cole’s word to go on when he said she was ours. That and my protective instincts. With the flash of heat that went through me after having spent time letting Cole pin me to the wall in the shower; I knew he was right. Now I wanted to kill those bastards more.

  “And you’ll explain why you think I’m in danger?”

  “We will,” Cole said opening the door for us to leave.

  “No OnStar,” Leta said as she sat in the front seat. Cole was driving, and I sat in the back. This way, I got to watch them both.

  “It’s a great service unless you have to be worried about being tracked or listened to.”

  “So, we’re safe?”

  “As safe as we can be,” I told her.r />
  Cole took us to a small diner. They were between the breakfast rush and the lunch rush, so it was quiet.

  The waitress brought us coffee and then took our order. Cole and I were sitting on one side of the booth. Leta was on the other side. This way we could look at her as we talked. The booths around us were empty.

  Cole pulled out his phone and showed her a picture of Naresh.

  “This is fuckin’ Naresh in his human form.” He told her. “Have you seen him?”

  She stared at the picture for a long time.

  “Don’t hold me to this, but I think I have. It’s fuzzy, but I have a memory of seeing this face.”

  “This is him in his true form.” Cole switched pics.

  Leta’s hand went to her mouth to cover a scream that still escaped enough to have a head or two turn her way.

  “You’ve seen him.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Yes and no. I’ve seen that image before in my dreams. It haunts me. I thought it was just a nightmare representation of the years I was a captive.”

  “You’ve seen him,” Cole told her.

  “You may be right. Why is he here?”

  “He enjoys this planet, but he’s here to hunt. Every three months he hunts down a target he picked out. He carves them up while alive and then eats them.”

  She laid down on the bench with her hand over her mouth. I could see her throat working and her stomach heaving.

  Cole turned to look at me. “Too much?”

  “You think?”

  We waited until after the waitress brought our food over.

  “Are you all right, honey?” The waitress asked.

  “Yes, sorry didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

  “With friends like this, I wouldn’t get enough sleep either.” She laughed at her own joke before she left.

  “Is that why he’s coming after me?”

  “We think so,” I answered her hoping to break it more gently than Cole.

  “I weigh like nothing.”

  She was right about that. Not that she wasn’t attractive, I just wouldn’t have looked at her twice if I saw her walking down the street.

 

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