by Linda Wisdom
"I'm not frightened of anyone," Lisa said evenly, applying perfume to the base of her throat. "Dan Nolan doesn't encompass my life, that's all. I'm living my life the way I prefer to."
"Liar," Debra said softly, turning to answer the door as the doorbell pealed. "I bet Mark still doesn't provide any fireworks, either."
Lisa was glad to get away from Debra's disapproving eyes and sound observations when Mark arrived.
"I won't tell you to enjoy yourself," Debra murmured, so that only Lisa could hear.
"Don't wait up for me," Lisa answered sweetly as she swept out the door.
"You look beautiful tonight, Lee," Mark said, his dark eyes lighting up in frank appreciation. "I feel flattered that you went to all this trouble for me."
"I just believe that when a woman is out with a good-looking man she should look lovely enough to ensure that he keeps his eyes on her," Lisa replied with a warm smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
She was glad she had dressed with such care when Mark pulled up in front of an elegant restaurant known for its excellent cuisine. Inside, they were seated on red velvet chairs in the dining room. "This is lovely, Mark," she enthused, keeping her eyes on the menu.
"Don't look at the prices," he grinned. "After all the years I've practiced law, I can certainly afford to take my special girl out for a fancy meal now and then."
Lisa felt alarmed by Mark's statement. She was beginning to fear that he might be reading more into their relationship than she was prepared to accept. And the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him.
Lisa hadn't expected their dinner to be anything but excellent, and she wasn't disappointed. Afterward they drove to a nearby club to listen to a band Lisa had barely heard of, though Mark seemed quite familiar with their music.
"What would you say about going back to my place for a nightcap?" Mark asked as they left the club.
"It's terribly late, Mark. I should be getting home," Lisa told him.
Without protest or argument, Mark drove back to Lisa's apartment house. "Then how about inviting me in for coffee?" he asked, unable to keep his eyes off her face.
"I'm sorry, Mark, but it's so late, and I'm sure Deb's already asleep." She smiled gently. "Another night."
"Are you going to be home this weekend?" he asked.
"I should be."
"Then I'll call you." Mark took her in his arms, bringing his lips against hers. Lisa let her body melt against him, responding as much as she could. All the while, though, she was comparing the emptiness she felt now with the way she felt when Dan kissed her.
"I—I really have to go in now," Lisa said shakily, pulling away from his embrace. She knew that if she had been with Dan, instead of with Mark, he would never have let her go so easily. He would merely have smiled and pulled her back into his arms again. And she would have gone willingly. "Thank you for a beautiful evening."
Inside the apartment, a light burned dimly in the living room. Lisa noticed a note propped up against the lamp.
Lee,
Dan called and asked that you call him if you get in halfway early.
Deb
Reading the note, Lisa began to feel anger growing within her. "Who does he think he is that I'll jump when he snaps his fingers?" she muttered, tearing the paper into small pieces and letting them drift to the floor.
Feeling tense, she went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. She leaned back against the counter, staring off into the darkness as she sipped it. The more wine she drank, added to the wine she had had at dinner and at the club, and the more she thought about Dan's message, the angrier she became. Glancing up at the kitchen clock she noticed that it was past three o'clock. There was a dangerous gleam in her emerald eyes as Lisa set her wine glass down on the counter and picked up her evening bag.
A few moments later she guided her car out of the parking lot and down the deserted streets. With Dan's address firmly in her mind, she drove across town.
Twenty minutes later, Lisa parked her car in front of Dan's apartment building. Humming softly under her breath, she reached his front door and pressed her finger against the buzzer, holding it there until the door was angrily wrenched open.
"What the—!" Dan's scowling eyes raked Lisa's innocently smiling features.
"I know that you asked that I return your call, but it was much easier just to come over." Lisa swept haughtily past him and into the apartment.
"Do you know what time it is?" Dan demanded, moving his fingers through his tousled hair.
Lisa looked up at him with innocent eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you? I guess I didn't think of the time." Her eyes moved to the cane Dan was leaning heavily on. "By the way, how are you feeling?"
"Better than you will in a while," he dryly replied. "You're drunk, Miss Winters."
"I don't get drunk, Mr. Nolan," Lisa said haughtily, unaware that she was standing a little off balance. "Now, what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Lee, it's quarter to four in the morning." Dan sat down on the sofa arm. "How was your date?" he asked suddenly.
"Very nice. Mark took me to a very elegant French restaurant." Lisa wandered aimlessly around the room, unable to keep still. "Then we went to hear a band at a nearby club."
"And what is Connors like on a date?" His narrowed eyes never left her restless figure as he spoke.
"He's very nice. Quiet, easygoing, entertaining—in short, good company."
"The kind of man you could walk all over in a minute," Dan commented shrewdly. "And he'd never say a word to stop you. If you said no to him, he'll just smile and accept it without even trying to change your mind."
"You're not being very polite tonight, or should I say this morning?" Lisa spun around, facing him with angry eyes. "You haven't even offered me a drink."
"You've had enough. How about some coffee instead?"
"Did Morgan cook dinner for you tonight?" she asked artlessly.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I didn't ask her to."
Lisa idly examined a ceramic figurine on a nearby table. "Why didn't you?"
Dan released a heavy sigh of frustration. "Because I didn't care to. I had asked you, and you were busy. Look, Lee, I am very tired. Why don't you go lie down on my bed and I'll bunk out here on the couch? We can talk in the morning, after you've had some sleep."
"Is it a water bed?" she asked boldly.
"No," he replied in a weary voice, knowing he wouldn't be able to reason with her.
"Poor Dan. No water bed," Lisa said in mock sadness, then she began laughing. A moment later, she stopped abruptly and grabbed the back of a chair for support. "Are we having an earthquake?" She looked at him, wide-eyed. "I feel carsick." Her voice dropped off.
Jumping to his feet, Dan swiftly guided her to the bathroom and tactfully left her alone.
For the next half hour, Lisa felt as if she wanted to die. After splashing cool water on her face and patting it dry, she walked slowly back into the living room.
"Feel better?" Dan asked from the couch.
"I'm still not sure," she muttered.
"I made some coffee for you. It might help." He indicated the steaming cup on the table in front of him.
Lisa picked up the cup with shaky hands, lifting it to her lips as she walked over to a nearby chair to sit down.
"You look very lovely tonight, in spite of yourself" Dan said quietly. "I hope he appreciated it."
"Dan, I… I don't know what to say," Lisa said in a low voice, refusing to look up from her coffee cup. "I feel like such a fool."
"We all do something foolish at least once during our lifetime." He grinned. "I'm glad I was around to see yours."
Lisa's face reddened. She set her cup down and stood up stiffly. "I should be going. I really am sorry for interrupting your sleep."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Lee," Dan said gently.
"I don't ordinarily do this." She shook her head, unable to look at him.
&n
bsp; Dan stood up, grabbing his cane. He walked slowly toward Lisa until he stood in front of her. "Do you feel well enough to drive?" he asked quietly. She mutely nodded her head. "Then make sure to take some aspirin before you go to bed so you won't feel so bad when you get up later."
As Lisa opened the door, she turned, looking at him quizzically. "You never did say why you called."
Dan flashed her his crooked grin. "Maybe I was hoping your boyfriend would stand you up."
Lisa winced inwardly. "Good night, Dan," she said throatily.
"Lee." He put out a restraining hand to halt her exit.
"No-o" she moaned, twisting away from his grasp, fearing his intent. Lisa was afraid she wouldn't be able to hide her feelings from Dan much longer.
Dan's expression hardened at her reaction. "Does he mean that much to you?" he demanded.
Lisa bit her lip to still its trembling. How could she tell him that he was the one who meant so much to her? She still felt so unsure where Dan was concerned. "Yes," she lied, unable to look up at him.
"I'll see you on Monday, Miss Winters." Dan's voice was as cold and impersonal as it had been so long ago.
Lisa fled, not wanting him to see the anguish on her face. Instinct alone guided her home through the early morning haze. When she arrived at the apartment, she found the lights blazing and Debra pacing the floor.
"Where have you been?" Debra cried out when Lisa let herself in. "I have been worried sick and thinking the most horrible things." She stopped short, seeing the tears on Lisa's cheeks. "What happened to you with Mark?"
"It wasn't Mark." Lisa gulped back a sob. "I went to see Dan."
"Dan? But why did you go see him?" Watching Lisa's face crumple, Debra walked over to her and put her arms around Lisa's shoulders. "What happened, Lee?" she asked gently.
Lisa couldn't hold back her tears any longer. The words came tumbling out, some virtually incoherent, as she told Debra about Dan, his house, her fears for his life after their accident, and Morgan's conversation with her at the hospital. Debra led Lisa over to the couch, sitting her down. Lisa continued talking about her drive to Dan's apartment and what had happened there.
"It looks to me like you have two options," Debra said finally, after Lisa finished her story.
"What are they?" Lisa asked, raising her tear-stained face.
"One, you can continue seeing Mark, find a lukewarm happiness with him and lose Dan to Morgan; or two, you can continue dating Dan, break through his defenses and learn his exact feelings for you. If they're genuine, you've gained something wonderful; if not, then you'll have to patch your wounds and go on living. The latter is a great gamble, but it could be a very worthy one. It's up to you."
"Just because you have something so wonderful with Pat doesn't mean it can happen so easily for others," Lisa sniffed.
"No," Debra said honestly. "But you won't find out unless you try. Why don't you go to bed, sleep as late as you need to, and then try to relax over the rest of the weekend? It won't do you any good to worry. Everything will right itself in due time."
Lisa smiled mistily. "You're right," she agreed, rising to her feet. "I'll worry about it all when the time comes."
Chapter Seven
Monday morning, Lisa busied herself getting together the papers that she would bring to Dan. She still felt uneasy about seeing him again after that painful and embarrassing evening. She wasn't sure what his attitude toward her would be. She was glad that she was meeting Mark for lunch, since his undemanding presence would enable her to forget her fears for a short time. And luckily, she was able to do just that. Except she was also reminded of something else. Dan had been right. She could so easily walk all over Mark. He was always so eager to please her, never acting on his own preferences. Lisa led the way and Mark followed willingly, without questioning, something Dan would never do. His self-assurance wouldn't allow it. With him, life would always be more challenging, exciting, more alive. And more painful.
"Hey, wake up." Mark said, laughingly snapping his fingers in front of her face. "Look, why don't I pick you up at Nolan's and take you out to dinner tonight."
"No!" Lisa's voice was sharper than she had intended. As Mark looked at her with surprise, her voice softened. "I mean, I don't know what time I'll finish, Mark. It would be better if I just stayed home and relaxed this evening."
"I should feel jealous, knowing you're going to be in that man's apartment, alone with him," he said in a teasing voice. "Knowing how sexy you look today."
"There isn't any reason for you to feel jealous," Lisa told him. She was beginning to regret deceiving him. If only she could fall in love with him. It would make life so much easier. But she couldn't. And yet she didn't want to tell him the truth because she didn't want to lose his friendship.
That afternoon, Lisa drove to Dan's apartment feeling more than apprehensive. Taking a deep breath, she gathered together the file folders and got out of her car.
She opened the front door when Dan replied "Come in" to her hesitant knock. He was seated at a desk in the corner of his living room, reading through a sheaf of papers. He barely glanced up as Lisa entered and dropped the folders on a nearby table.
"I set up a typewriter for you on the dining table," Dan said crisply, still not looking up from his work. "There are some rough drafts of letters I need to have out today."
"Yes, sir," Lisa murmured.
Dan glanced up, and if he noticed the way Lisa's lemon-yellow silk dress clung to her slender frame and the way the seductive slits at the sides revealed shapely legs, he gave no indication. She could have been wearing a baggy sweatshirt and jeans for all the attention he paid her.
Lisa sat in front of the typewriter, inserted a blank piece of paper and began typing words at random to get the feel of the machine. Moments later, she was busily typing the stack of work Dan had left her.
During the course of the afternoon, Lisa found it difficult to work with Dan in such close quarters. His form-fitting jeans and T-shirt lent a casual atmosphere to the work, which she wouldn't have felt in the office, but she also found the intimacy distracting and disturbing.
Lisa's frame of mind didn't improve when the phone rang and the caller was Morgan. Dan got up, murmuring that he would take the call in the other room, and, using the cane, he limped out of the living room. He left the door slightly ajar, however, so Lisa could not help but hear some of the conversation. And judging from Dan's intimate tone, she knew that Morgan had him more in her power than Lisa had thought. The knowledge left her bitter.
"We might as well quit for now," Dan announced when he reentered the room.
Lisa sat back, flexing her tired fingers. She stood up, gathered together the letters she had typed and gave them to Dan to sign.
"Just send them out in the morning mail," he told her as he scrawled his name across the bottom of each letter. "And I'll see you again tomorrow afternoon."
"Of course. Anything else?" Her manner was that of an efficient secretary as she picked up the papers, shoved them into a folder and moved toward the door.
"Yes." Lisa had been unaware that Dan had followed her to the door. His hands gripped her shoulders, turning her around. Before she could protest, his mouth covered hers in a mind-shattering kiss. Lisa's hands couldn't help but grasp his shoulders to keep her balance. When Dan finally lifted his head, his eyes had that dangerous glitter she knew only too well. "Good night, Miss Winters," he said smoothly, the even tenor of his voice seeming to indicate that the kiss had not affected him one bit, while she felt as if the earth had been swept away from under her feet.
"G-good night, Mr. Nolan." She silently cursed her voice for trembling.
"One more thing." Dan's voice followed her out the door. "Since you'll be working here on and off for the next few days, I'd appreciate it if you'd wear something less sexy. If you come to play… well, that's different."
Her face flaming, Lisa wanted only to escape. As she drove away, she noticed Morgan arrive. The knowl
edge that the lovely Morgan, who had driven up in an expensive foreign sports car, would be spending the evening with Dan didn't help her mood any.
When Lisa later let herself into her apartment, she found Pat seated on the couch, looking through a magazine.
"Hi," he greeted her. "Deb invited me to dinner."
"I didn't expect you back," Debra said, walking out of the kitchen with a towel.
"I do happen to live here," Lisa said dryly, setting her purse down on a chair.
"I just thought you'd be at Dan's apartment, cooking him a cozy dinner for two."
"I'm sure Morgan will manage something." She couldn't keep the bitterness out of her voice.
"How was he toward you?" Debra asked.
"Like a boss with his secretary, nothing more." Lisa preferred to forget Dan's kiss at the door. "I know where I stand now. Behind the desk."
Lisa was silent during dinner, barely listening to the happy conversation between the two lovers. Unable to bear seeing two people so happy with each other, she escaped to the bedroom after the meal. Seated cross-legged on her bed, not really hearing the radio, Lisa came to her decision. From now on, she would think of Dan as her boss, nothing more. She hated the thought of using Mark as a shield, but she would badly need one. His undisguised affection was just what her faltering ego sorely needed.
For the next few days, Lisa kept up a remote front when she worked at Dan's apartment. If he was surprised by her sudden change in manner, he said nothing. Lisa even arranged for Mark to pick her up at Dan's one evening to help keep up her pretense. She also made sure to greet Morgan with an almost friendly manner. The knowledge that she was there every evening with Dan after work stiffened Lisa's resolve not to allow him to hurt her.
Lisa was glad that Dan spent a majority of his time in court once he returned to work. On the few occasions when he was in the office, she would sometimes turn to find him gazing at her with a faintly puzzled expression, but his eyes would shift as soon as he noticed her attention on him.