“No, please.” I wrapped both my hands around his and tugged him closer. “I can handle the pain, but I can’t handle not being next to you. If the healer comes, she'll put me out.”
“Mia Cara, you shouldn't admit things like that.” The frown creasing his forehead told me he came to a decision he didn’t like. “Until you can learn our ways, perhaps it would be best if we were not together.”
“What? One minute you call me beloved, and the next you threaten to leave. Do you want me or not?” I growled; his eyes grew wide at the rumbling sound. “We wouldn’t have these misunderstandings if we would just bond. Is your world so much different that we can’t just bond?” I demanded with growing frustration.
A multitude of expressions crossed his face. He finally sighed and said, “I want nothing more than to bond with you this very minute, but I’m afraid you would eventually hate me.”
He shook his head at me when I tried interrupting. “You weren’t raised here to have these things explained. By rights, I should have my brother’s lifeMate explain them to you, but I will try to do it myself.”
“During the Great War…”
My laughter interrupted him and he reminded me of a big-eyed owl when he blinked at me.
“Do we need to go back four thousand years?” I asked through my laughter.
“Yes, for you to fully understand. I think we do.” His lips twitched into a huge smile and he sighed; his face softened into a look I could only describe as adoring. “You are beautiful, but do you know exactly how exquisite you are when you laugh?” He didn’t wait for my answer he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on my cheek.
His eyes never left mine as he continued, “During the war, the streets of every town ran red with the blood of lifeMates who either killed themselves after their bonded lifeMate died on the battlefield or dropped dead from a brain aneurysm. The written accounts of that time are filled with horrific detail. I think it mentally damaged the children and every un-bonded person during that time.”
“Those poor kids, they got hit with double misery. Not just a father, but their mother died as well,” I said, trying to imagine the pain of growing up in a time like that, but I couldn’t.
“It was pure chaos after the old Chi’Kehra died along with the disappearance of over half of all the people, plants, and animals. It took hundreds of years for the survivors to gather together in small communities. Nobody trusted anyone. The survivors created new laws, one of the first enacted was Women’s Choice. When the synth music sings, naming a lifeMate, it's up to the woman to bond or not.” He grimaced and squeezed the hand he held in my lap.
“I was born three thousand years ago.” He stopped and chuckled at my gasp.
I groaned. “I just turned seventeen. Talk about an age gap. I don’t even know your name yet. I’m Miranda Michelle Trellick. Most people call me Miranda,” I said.
“It’s a beautiful name. My name, on the other hand, is longer than you could ever imagine. I am Colin Andrew Smithton Allen Drametri Theodus Malichins,” he said with a twist of his lips.
“We aren’t going to label our children with a name that long,” I said emphatically, then groaned when I realized what I had just said. Without looking up, I sort of apologized. “Now that I’ve totally stuck my foot in it, do you have a preference?”
Gently pushing up my chin, he kissed my temple. “I can’t resist kissing you when you blush like that.” He chuckled. A smile entered his eyes making them twinkle with pleasure. “Are you asking my preference of what we shall name our first child or what I prefer to be called?”
I groaned and his chuckle turned into laughter, while he continued raining small kisses across my hotly blushing face.
“Whatever you decide is fine. No one, not even my parents, ever used my name. From the first day, I’ve been called Chi’Kehra,” he said with little emotion.
I was still wrapping my mind around that absurd comment when he hesitantly began speaking.
“You speak as if you want a child. Most women make the man beg for a child,” he said with a frown.
“That’s not normal. Of course, I want to have children. Um, I mean, uh,” I groaned in utter embarrassment, “after we’re married. Anyway, why would any woman make her lifeMate beg? That’s just horrid.”
“For people on Sídhí that is life. I need to finish explaining about Women’s Choice. By the time I was born, most women refused to form a lifeBond with their lifeMate.” He quickly pressed a finger to my lip. “Save your questions and ask after.” To soften his order he gently kissed the corner of my lips.
“That is the single law women have. They have twisted its use to create a powerful position for themselves. They can, and do, eventually make their lifeMate do anything they demand.” He snarled. “The women in my family are some of the worst.”
“From your expression you don’t understand,” he said with a questioning look.
I sighed, shaking my head and slightly winced at the movement. I was really starting to hurt, but I didn’t want to give up my time with Colin. “I’m sorry, my love. I honestly don’t understand. Are you saying, women are basically property, but they have the power of the owner?” I frowned at his face-splitting grin. “Don’t you dare tell me that you own me and you find that funny.”
“Never.” He leaned closer to me and gently wrapped his arms around me. He caressed my lips with his, but before I could respond he rubbed his cheek against mine and held me with – what I knew – was restrained strength. His body was trembling.
“Colin?” I asked, prodding him for an answer.
He rained kisses across my cheek and leaned back with a self-satisfied smile. “You called me ‘my love.’ I hope and pray you never become like the women of this world. Anyone of my sisters or female cousins would make their lifeMate wait months or possibly years before they gave any form of endearment to their mate.”
“They aren’t bonded, are they?” I asked in a horrified voice.
“There is only one, among all of my relatives that bonded,” he said and gently leaned his forehead against mine. “Not even my parents are bonded.”
I'm glad he held me, because this was too much to believe. But, I needed more than his arms around me. I needed to bond with my lifeMate. Whether he knew it or not, I believed, he needed it just as bad.
“Will you bond with me?” I asked him.
“My love, I want nothing more, but we should wait. You need time to heal and you need time to understand how things work here.” He groaned, cupping my hand in his large hand. “I'm not rejecting you. I desperately want you as my lifeMate, but not until you understand your rights.”
“From what you’ve told me about the women here, well, I could never treat you like that. Not ever,” I said emphatically then added with just as much fervor, “Colin, you're my lifeMate, I love you too much.” At this point, I didn't care if it was the synth that made me love him, or if it was love at first sight, or if I had fallen in love with the adoring look on his face while he held me with such extraordinary care.
I didn’t wait for his answer; I was tired of arguing. I looked into his dark green eyes and opened my end of the lifeBond. His eyes jerked wide open, the pupils dilated, and with a shocked gasp, he opened his end of the lifeBond.
The combined synth in our blood sang, whipping through us as the ends of two lifeBonds intertwined and twisted together. The closing of our bond created a shimmering solid union between the two of us. I felt it briefly glow burning hot. Cooling, it pulled us irrevocably together. Once bonded, our emotions flowed into the other.
I felt his love crash through me and I grinned with joy. He actually did love me as much as I loved him.
“My beloved, thank you,” he kissed my cheek, “no greater treasure could anyone give me.”
I opened my surface thoughts to him and tried scooting closer to him. The pain stopped me. The pain had been growing gradually worse. I had been trying to ignore it.
“I know I stin
k, I can smell the blood still in my hair, but I need you to hold me and…”
“Shush,” he said and carefully slipped his arms under me, pulling me onto his lap.
Pain swept through me and I fainted.
I woke-up cradled in his arms. My head was in the crook of his neck. His worry and fear pulsed into me; I felt his hands trembling as he held me.
I sent him my love and the words just in case he missed my gratitude. “Thank you.”
I felt his disbelief at my words. “I hurt you,” he said in a growl that sounded more vampire-ish than elvish.
“The pain was inevitable. I needed you to hold me,” I said and gently kissed his neck.
I began relaxing to the sound of his heartbeat and felt myself drifting off. I was surprised he had been able to tolerate holding me for so long. I blinked awake as I felt his shock flow through me.
“My bonded lifeMate, if you’ll let me, I’ll hold you forever,” he said fervently; I felt the sincerity of his words flow through me.
I nuzzled his neck and gently kissed him again. “I stink. As a vampire mix, I know my sense of smell is better than yours is, but holding me so close has to be horrid for you. I really stink.”
“I hurt you so badly. I nearly lost you.” His words sounded halfway calm, but the pain of exactly how he felt ripped through our bond. He was in agony over nearly killing me.
“Stop that,” I demanded.
I felt his shock and then his chest gently vibrated with his laughter. His pain lessened; it was still there, but I felt his humor flow around it.
He gently kissed the top of my head. “For three-thousand years, I have dreaded the day I found my lifeMate.” He chuckled. “For the first time in my entire life, I feel complete. Our emotions are so intertwined I can’t tell if the joy I feel is yours, mine, or both of ours combined.”
I nuzzled his pulsing neck and kissed him yet again; I simply loved touching him. “I don’t know. I’ve read books and heard people discussing the lifeBond. The current theory is an immortal is not whole until they bond with their lifeMate. Other than the pain, I certainly feel better than I ever have.”
Time passed and it grew dusky outside, while we talked about our family and how different the two worlds were. Sídhí remained without technology as I understood it. It would be a big change for me and for him. He told me his people had already thrown a fit over my impure blood tainting the elvish monarchy.
Deep down, I fretted over the worry my family was going through. I didn't try contacting Sarah, I was afraid she'd hurt Colin before I could explain.
Everything finally came to a grinding halt. Some things in life simply took precedence. “Colin, I really hate to mention this, but my bladder is about to burst. I’ve got to go to the bathroom.” I groaned as I realized my beloved lived in a medieval castle. “Please, please tell me you have indoor plumbing.”
I felt his humor spike. “Yes, Mia Cara, the castle has plumbing.” He hesitated. “Do you think you’ll black-out if I move you?”
I groaned a heartfelt sound. “I better not. I’ll never be able to look you in the face if I pee all over you.”
“Hmpgh.”
I mock growled at him. “It doesn’t do any good to swallow your hysterical laughter if I can feel it bursting through our bond.”
He chuckled and kissed my lips in a comforting show of love.
He began slowly shifting me. I was whimpering by the time he stood up with me. He carried me across the wide room and into another room. It had several doors leading from it. He went straight ahead through the single open door.
I closed my eyes. The movement made me dizzy.
He stopped and I opened my eyes in time to see a frown crease his face. He leaned down with me still in his arms.
I squealed like a stuck piglet. “What’re you doing? Just help lean against the counter and I can make it from there.” No way in this world was I letting him set me on the commode and have my backside shine the world.
“You’ll fall flat. I’m not letting you go,” he said in a no-nonsense tone of voice, his worry leaked into me. “I'll hold you until you finish.”
“No, no way. I can’t go with you holding me.” I fretted. I really had to go, but there was no way I was going with him holding me on the commode or whatever they called it here.
He chuckled. “Commode is fine.”
I groaned. I forgot I had my surface thoughts open to him. For just an instant, I felt hurt that he hadn’t opened his thoughts to me. I quickly buried that thought so he wouldn't feel bad over my hurt. Talk about confusing.
“Please, I can’t go with you holding me. It’s just humiliating,” I said. “We could compromise. Help me sit down and then leave. Okay?”
He finally sighed, “Let’s get you down and then go from there.”
He set my feet on the floor and I whimpered as pain shot through my hips. I felt his anger and frustration skyrocket and I cringed.
“Shh, love, I’m not angry at you,” he said warmly. Then his voice grew hard. “I’m angry at myself for having hurt you so badly.”
“It’s okay,” I said, gasping past the pain. I finally gave in. “I don’t see I have a choice. Can you hold me while I go?”
Tears fell down my face. I was so embarrassed.
I felt his panic and worry as he looked at me. Then suddenly he felt relief.
“My love, do you trust me?” he asked hesitantly.
In shock, I blinked at him. He was my bonded lifeMate. “Of course, I trust you.”
He slightly shook his head and smiled. I felt his wonder and a feeling of overwhelming love flow through the bond and into me.
“Most halflings,” he grunted, “most elves would run backward at what I'm about to do.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when I understood. I watched living crystal flow around me. I giggled as Colin released me, and the firm yet cushion-soft crystal completely supported my body.
Colin mentally commanded the synth crystal to hold me in position on top of the commode. He was brilliant; I essentially had an exoskeleton of living crystal. My Colin was the Chi’Kehra. He controlled synth crystal. Whether it was in solid form, like what was currently wrapped around my body, or liquid form. The crystal was a form of pure energy; the scientific combination of a dozen different ingredients that modern scientists believed to be mythical poppy-cock.
I watched my beloved walk out of the bathroom, but I heard him stop immediately inside the next room. I chuckled. He was still not leaving me completely alone.
I finished and was trying to figure out how to flush the silly thing when it suddenly did it all on its own. How? Then I knew. I felt Colin’s humor at the back of my mind. I looked-up and found him peeking around the door frame.
I chuckled. I couldn’t be angry with him, not with his love and concern pulsing around me. If he had been in my position, I would have been just as concerned.
“Thank you,” I said and sent a caress of love across our bond. I watched his face light up as he felt my love flow into him.
He grinned. “You’re welcome. Now, no arguing, I can feel your pain throbbing through our bond. Let’s get you in bed.” He reached to pick me up.
“Since we’ve gone this far, would you help me take a shower or a bath?” I asked and held my breath.
His worry pulsed through me with increasing intensity. “Mia Cara, you need rest.”
When I saw him hesitate, I bit my lip and plunged on, using every advantage I could. “I don’t want to beg and you think I’m being manipulative like the other women.” I sighed. “But I really want to be clean. I can smell the dried blood in my hair. It’s just gross. I feel icky.”
“I won’t let you in the bath by yourself, not even with the crystal holding you up. You’ll have to let me help you,” he said, briefly stroking my cheek with his knuckles.
“Okay,” I agreed and felt my blush rush up my neck, into my face, and finally fill the tips of my slightly pointed ears I in
herited from my half-elvish mother.
He grinned and left me sitting where I was. He quickly pulled off everything, except his snug fitting pants. My eyes widened and I felt myself flush from another kind of heat as I watched the muscles across his back ripple with suppressed strength. He stopped moving. Turning around, he looked at me with a slightly raised eyebrow.
He was instantly kneeling in front of me. “I’m glad you find my body pleasing, but if I’m going to get through this shower with my sanity intact and not embarrass myself, you’ve got to shield your surface thoughts from me.” He cupped my cheek in his hand and very lightly brushed his lips across mine.
“I can feel your desire and I know you can feel mine,” I said, shielding my surface thoughts.
I felt his regret.
He started the water in a Jacuzzi-sized tub and added several streams of a rose smelling soap. Bubbles bloomed into life, big and frothy they filled the tub.
He carefully picked me up and set me on the wide edge of the tub. He helped me out of the large shirt, which I realized was his and I felt his desire – that had been simmering at the edge of my brain – burst through me.
I gasped in shock. I was totally grubby looking. How could he feel that way toward me?
He groaned, gripping the edge of the tub, he turned away from me. “Sorry, give me a second.”
I really wanted a bath, but not at his disposal. “I’ll wait until morning for a bath. Maybe by then, I can take it by myself.”
He looked at me, very pointedly ignoring everything below my chin. I felt his confusion. “I know how badly you want to clean-up. I can feel the urgent need.” He looked at me and took a deep breath as if he was going to tackle something he didn’t want to touch; I felt his pain as he said, “I’m not some kind of animal that can’t control himself. You aren’t in any kind of shape for me to even give you pleasure. Surely, you know that I’d never hurt you.”
I snapped my jaw shut with a click and grimaced at my stupid action when it pulsed with pain. “You silly man, I know that! I also know the desire between two lifeMates, especially after they have bonded is tremendous. The desire, both our desires are growing. We both want the other and the bond makes our desire feed off of each other. Your helping me in the bath, would cause you pain. I can’t do that to you. I’ll just wait until morning. Okay?”
Beloved LifeMate: Song of the Sídhí #1 Page 5