by Dave Gordon
“I want to see if I can find any relatives,” Van said.
Siln turned to face him. “I know you do, but think about this,” she said in an uncharacteristically gentle tone. “If your relatives have bad credentials then you might get dirty just associating with them. It's a lot safer to just leave well enough alone. They think you're dead. Leave it at that.” She walked to the food unit for a drink but changed her mind. She actually preferred the drinks Van made to anything that be gotten out of an Alpha One unit.
“I'm going out,” she said as she scooped her coat up off the chair.
“I might go get something to eat,” Van said
“The hell you will,” she said, returning to her normal acrid speech. “Don't you leave this apartment. I'll be back in a bit. We'll both go when I get back.” She started to slam the door but the act seemed out of place in the gentile apartment building so she stifled the urge.
She no longer wore the expensive clothes she had purchased on Gamma One. They were too flamboyant. She didn't want to stick out, she wanted to look normal. She had dragged Van along on a shopping trip. She explained to him that it was an absolute necessity he accompany her because she couldn't have any financial irregularities popping up in his accounts. They spent the day going from store to store while Siln was transformed into the very model of a conservative topsider. She was annoyed by how much it cost. Van didn't care, he didn't know anything about money. Siln thought of the clothes as a disguise. A veneer of conformity over a dark creature of the underground. It was a good disguise, no one knew. No one except Siln. Sooner or later she would have to face it.
She returned to the apartment to find Van under the food processing unit. “What the hell are you doing?” she yelled as she ran to the unit. She jerked Van out from under the unit. He bumped his head on the doorway as he flew out onto the carpet.
“What?” the shocked Van said holding his hand over the throbbing lump at his temple.
“I can't leave you for an hour. What are you trying to do, get cocaine out of it?” Siln shouted, her cheeks red with anger.
“No. I was just checking it out, it's a lot better than ours. I think I'll have one installed in the Caveat. I could make some cool stuff,” he said as he slid back under the unit.
Siln felt bad. She lived in continual fear of losing her credentials. The continual tension made her treat Van badly. Yelling at Van was like hitting a puppy. It didn't do any good and afterwards she felt really bad.
“Hey, let's go get something to eat. Let's go up town.” She used the toilet without closing the door, another habit picked up on the Caveat.
“Okay, what should I wear?” Van asked. Modern fashion was a complete mystery to him.
“What you have on is fine. Wait a minute. Where did you get that shirt? Change into something else.”
Van had bought the shirt because it looked vaguely like something from his time. That meant it was completely out of place now. He put on a trim and colorful shirt.
They took a taxi uptown. Van was a little dismayed as the surroundings took on an ever more decrepit look. They stopped in front of a plain door with a sign reading The Dineaway. They walked to a darkened booth in the rear of the restaurant.
“You've eaten here before?” asked Van.
“Yes,” she replied.
Siln appeared vacant, far away. He studied her face as the vacuous look turned to sadness, then to sorrow. Soon a tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another, and another. She laid her head upon her folded arms and began to cry softly.
“Siln, what's wrong?” he asked quietly, urgently.
Van waived off the waiter but she wouldn't be dismissed. “You have to order or leave,” she said curtly.
“You have hamburgers? Bring two hamburgers and two sodas,” he said still looking at the sobbing Siln.
“Really?” the waitress said in surprise. “Okay,” and walked away shaking her head.
Van wondered what the waitress had meant and then turned his attention back to Siln.
“Why are you crying?” He was really worried, this seemed to have come out of nowhere.
“I'll never get them back,” she said with difficulty. “I don't know why I came. I was a fool. A stupid fool.” She began crying harder.
“Get who back? Who are you talking about?”
“My baby.” She had completely lost control. Her despair moved Van to action. He slid out of his seat and went to Siln. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and tried to comfort her.
“Come on,” he said quietly as he gently rocked her and patted her back. “We can work it out. I'll help you. I'll be with you.”
She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder.
The waitress brought two sorry-looking burgers and small glasses of a bubbling blue liquid with no ice. Her face became wrinkled with concern. She said, “Take your time.”
Siln wound down to soft, stuttering sobs. “I have a baby. She's ten years old. Her father was a topsider. I had to leave to protect them. I couldn't stay.” With that she began crying harder.
Van wondered what a topsider was. He said, “Do you know where they are?”
“I think so,” Siln said. She lifted her head off his shoulder and freed herself from his embrace. “I want to see them but it's dangerous.”
“Why?” Van understood nothing about the world he used to call home. “It's dangerous to see your baby?”
“The father could turn me in for having the baby and abandoning her. He had to make up a story about how he got her. He had to say I abandoned her. He could have had his own credentials taken so I ran. I don't know what he'll do. It's really dangerous. Are those hamburgers?” she asked wide-eyed.
Van was very confused. He answered the easy question first. “Yes?”
“Oh my God, do you know how much they cost?”
“No?”
Siln grabbed for the plate and launched into a vigorous attack. She finished the burger in six bites. “Are you going to eat that?” she asked with her mouth full of food.
“No?” he said as Siln gobbled up the second one.
She collapsed back into the seat and remained motionless for some time.
“Those probably cost twenty bars,” she said from her listless repose.
“Is that a lot?” Van didn't really care, he was just curious why a burger would be expensive.
“Never mind,” Siln said as she sat up. She looked at him intently. “I have to take you someplace. It is going to be very dangerous. You will be frightened. You will have to stay by me and do exactly what I say without any questions. Got it?”
“Sure,” he said. “Where are we going?”
“The Dives.”
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Chapter 12
Return to Darkness
They walked away from their nice apartment carrying clothes that made Van worry. They had been hard to obtain. There was certainly nothing like them in the stores. He and Siln had walked the streets for several days to get them. Late one afternoon as they were out walking, Siln put her hand across his chest. She walked across the street and spoke a few words into the air while standing close to an unusually dressed woman. The woman spoke without looking at Siln. Siln walked back to Van.
“Come on,” she said and began walking. They walked for a couple of miles turning several corners. They entered a darkened tavern. Van was perplexed to see there was no bar. The tavern seating consisted of small booths placed so that none were visible from the others. They sat in the rear.
A waiter walked up. Siln said, “Three synth bars.” The waiter left without comment.
“Why didn't we get burgers?” asked Van.
“Shut up. Don't say anything. Just sit there,” she said evenly.
The waiter brought three plates with unappetizing lumps on them and again left without speaking. The woman Siln had spoken to entered the tavern looking cautiously from side to side. Satisfied
it was safe to enter, she found Van and Siln. She scooted in next to Van. She had an unhealthy air about her. Her clothes were somewhat ragged and she smelled odd. She said, “Let's go, talk about the weather.”
Van looked at her quizzically.
Siln said, “Maybe later. Right now I want to talk about something else. My friend and I are taking a trip. We aren't dressed for the weather. I want you to help us find some appropriate clothing.”
The woman looked at Siln clearly suspicious. “Where are you going?” she said.
“It will be dark and cold, we can't go dressed like this. These clothes are too pretty. These clothes are something a topsider would wear.”
The woman stiffened. “Why are you taking this trip? Some people aren't used to cold and dark places. The locals get very upset if someone who isn't supposed to be there acts rude".
“I have spent a lot of time in the cold and dark. We would not dream of being rude or talking about anyone that we might have met. All we want are clothes we aren't afraid to get dirty.”
The woman was silent for a time. She said, “I would help you if I had any money. I'm afraid I can't help though because of a recent medical expense.” The woman looked at Siln expectantly.
Siln turned to Van and said, “Give her a bar.”
Van dug in his pocket and pulled out a handful of bars. Siln rolled her eyes at him and gave him a disgusted look. He handed a bar to the woman seated next to him.
The woman took the bar while looking intently at the fist full of cash Van held. “I'm sure I will need more than one bar,” she said, still looking at the money.
Siln leveled a hard stare at Van until he caught on and put the money away. She said, “I can assure you that we will be most appreciative of your time and effort after we have the clothes. Where can we meet to talk about this further?”
The woman was crestfallen. She sighed and said, “The Turnaround. Two blocks east, room twenty-five. Two o'clock tomorrow. Come alone.”
“I'm sorry, but it is necessary for my associate and I to travel together. We will meet you at two.” Siln stood up and the meeting was over.
The woman stood up giving Siln an appraising look. She walked briskly out the front doors after pausing to check the street.
“What was that all about?” Van asked.
“I'll tell you later. Go pay and let's get out of here.”
“What about our food.”
“Nobody eats that stuff,” Siln said with a sour look.
“Then why did we order it?” Van was really lost.
“Shut up and pay. Quit talking. Remember the rules?” Siln walked outside.
Van paid the indifferent waiter while mumbling to himself about stupid rules. Siln was waiting when he walked out side.
Siln grabbed him by the lapels. She put her nose one inch from Vans nose and said, “Listen, this isn't a game. Don't run off at the mouth where people can hear you. Don't wave fists full of money around. You don't know what it's like. You don't know what's at stake.” She realized she had been slamming Van up against the wall. She released him feeling abashed. She admonished herself for treating the gentle Van so badly, and said “Just trust me on this, alright?”
“Sure. I didn't know. I don't know what's going on. Maybe I would do better if you told me what's going on.”
Siln hesitated. How much should she tell him? How much could he understand? How much did she want to remember? “Remember how I told you that when you don't have credentials, you can't do anything?”
Van did recall that and he nodded his head.
“There's a place where all the people who don't have credentials go. It's underground. It's really big, there are a lot of people. It's not a nice place but it's the only place people like that can go and not get picked up by the Forces. Really, really bad things happen to people from down there when they get picked up by the Forces, understand?”
“Yeah, so far. Is that where we're going? Why are we going there?”
“Because you and I are going to go look for my baby and her father. They might call the Forces. It could go badly. So badly we might have to escape. We will need a place to go. We can't just go down to that place without any friends. That would be very bad. You could go back up top because the whole thing has nothing to do with you. You could say you didn't know what was going on because you are so crazy. They would believe you.” Siln gave Van a sly look and chuckled. Her face contorted in pain, she said, “I would have to stay there, though.”
Van thought he had it figured out, mostly. “What was the whole clothes thing?” he asked.
“People down there don't dress like this, we would stick out screaming attack me, I have money. You and I are living like topsiders. That's what the people below call the people with credentials that live above ground. The woman knew I was familiar with the underground when I said topsider. That woman was a diver. That's what they call themselves. She is going to get us some beat up clothes so we won't look out of place. Right now she is really afraid of us. We could turn her in, or do anything we want, really. She's desperate for money, that's why she is out in the light even though it is extremely dangerous.”
“So she was what? A prostitute?” Van had no idea.
“Yes, and it is horribly dangerous to try and make money that way. Really bad. That poor woman is risking death every day.”
They turned and walked through the clean and well-ordered streets. Van looked at them with new eyes. He felt like a jerk walking around in nice clothes and buying anything he wanted when so many people couldn't. It was as if there was an entire society of outlaws. Van wondered how the government could do that? How could they expel everyone they didn't want? Everything was so civilized, but it wasn't really. It was cruel. Beyond cruel. Inhuman. He started to get mad. He turned to Siln and shouted “How can they do that?”
She took his hand and dug in her fingernails. “Shut up, you idiot. Put a smile on your stupid face and act like you're happy. Everybody is happy up here. We're just normal people, happy people.”
It took some effort for Van to act normal with Siln's nails imbedded in his hand. “Okay, happy.” he said trying to smile. It made his brow break out in sweat.
“Good.” she said cheerily. “Now be quiet until we get home.”
Van saw a drop of blood roll down to his fingertip and drop to the pavement. “Has anyone ever told you that you are a sadistic bully?” he asked, smiling.
“You did about four months ago,” she chirped. She dropped his hand when she was satisfied Van had been taught well enough to mind his manners.
Van lifted his hand. There were four red crescents carved into the back of his hand. He thought briefly of reporting her to Human Resources, but that would have been an act of consummate cruelty. He would fashion some other form of revenge. A cold virus supplement, perhaps. The medical unit was designed to prevent such things but Van had become very adept at bending the system to his will. Maybe a touch of diarrhea for good measure. He occupied his mind by considering how to turn a computer designed to destroy viruses into one that created them. He wondered if he could gain entry into Evil Scientist college with that.
That night Siln filled Van in on life in the Dives. He was stunned at the thought of living out one's years in the frigid dark. No real doctors. No libraries. None of the basic amenities he considered fundamental to a good life. No wonder credentials were such a big deal.
“How did you survive out in space?” Van asked. The Dives were bad, but at least they were protective.
“It was hard.” Siln was beginning to tire of the social studies lesson, they had been at it for hours. “I would just try to find a crack somewhere to hide in and make a living any way I could.”
“Any way you could?” Van asked.
“Yes asshole, any way I could.” Siln stood up and stomped off.
Van felt bad. He hadn't meant to pry, the question had just slipped out. He followed her to her bedroom.
“I'm sorry, Siln. That was
n't any of my business,” he said.
“Hell, that's alright,” she said staring at the floor as she sat on her bed. “I did what I had to do, just like the woman we are meeting tomorrow. It's not pretty but that's the way it was. I'm turning in, hit the light.” She stood up and began to undress.
Van turned the light off and went to the window. The gleaming facade of gentile civility looked fake. A pretense. A mass hallucination that the entire world created to cover up the atrocities below. The omnipresent Forces, which were a massive conglomerate of all the world's armies, police, security organizations, intelligence agencies, and every law enforcement officer everywhere right down to park rangers, kept the undesirables out of sight down below. No crime of any sort was tolerated. Accidents, minor domestic squabbles, disagreements between parties that did not escalate to true violence; those were tolerated. Everything else was death by shunning. Van considered the ramifications of what they were about to attempt. He decided it couldn't be helped. He would stay by her side no matter the cost.
The next afternoon they walked to the Turnaround hotel. Van did indeed want to turn around once they entered the lobby. It hadn't been painted or cleaned since he had left Earth. The tattered furniture defied anyone to actually sit on it under threat of injury. Siln walked directly to the desk and said, “Twenty-five.”
The clerk leveled a curious stare at Siln and Van. They were not dressed in the usual manner of his typical couples. He put the key on the counter and said, “One bar.”
Siln let out a guffaw and said, “How much?”
The clerk looked at them angrily and said “Five decibar.” He said, “Don't make me call the Forces.”
Siln leaned over the counter and said, “I'll save you the trouble. I'll call them right now.”
The clerk quailed. He slid the key to Siln and said, “Have a nice stay.”
Siln snatched the key off the counter. She led Van to a shabby stairway.