by Heidi Sexton
His eyes followed Brittany as she rose to leave. He wanted to go with Adanna to drive her home, but he was so tired and his body had begun to ache. He remembered his last panic attack. It had been years ago on the construction site of his business. He had seen a man fall from a scaffold. The whole incident had been horrific and had put Chadwick in a state of petrification. That was the only other time in his life he recalled experiencing a panic attack. That attack had left him bed bound for two days. He hoped fervently that he would rebound faster this time. Nonetheless, he knew that he was in no condition to go with Adanna to take Brittany home. He would be doing good to make it upstairs to his bed.
“Brittany”, he said hoarsely. He reached up to rub his throat. It felt irritated.
Brittany looked at Chadwick sitting in the kitchen booth and had to restrain from wrapping her arms around him. He looked haggard. She knew he had been through a lot for any man. Just the thought that they had been sitting in a carriage with runaway horses was terrifying. They could have flipped over. She understood his panic and was glad it happened afterwards and not during their dangerous adventure. He had been so heroic in his handling of the situation.
“Yes,” she said noticing that Adanna and Mara left the room, giving them privacy.
“Come here.” He held out his arms. There was no where for Brittany to go except between his legs, which she did hesitantly. He laid his head on her stomach and wrapped his arms around her waist. Brittany placed her hands on his head and gently kneaded his neck.
“You’ll be alright, Chadwick. You’ll feel better after some sleep. I’ll call and check on you in the morning.”
He loved Brittany’s scent. Her wet clothes had dried and he could feel the warmth of her stomach through her T-shirt. Turning his face into her stomach, he breathed in deeply. Looking up he almost laughed. Brittany’s hair was all over her head. She didn’t seem to realize how wild she looked. But after what they had been through, there was no other way for her to look.
“Brittany, I’m embarrassed about the panic attack, but I’m glad you knew what it was. I’m glad you helped me. It felt good. Everything felt so good. Will you let me hold you in my lap again?”
“Now?” Brittany knew Adanna was waiting on her. Chadwick’s intensity was setting her on fire. She needed to get away from him before she embarrassed herself in front of Mrs. Jordan.
“I guess now would be inappropriate. Please remember to call me in the morning.” He let her go and stretched out flat against the booth throwing his arms above his head. He looked up at her and Brittany became aware that she was still standing between his legs. She quickly stepped back knowing that if anyone were to come in, the sight of them positioned so would be very suggestive.
“I will be sure to call. Get some rest, Chadwick,” she said as she turned to leave. She noticed that he had already closed his eyes. Brittany bit her lower lip and wondered how a man who had just had a panic attack could still be so incredibly sexy. She followed Adanna to the car with visions of Chadwick lying back in the booth in his tight black jeans and t-shirt fast asleep. It was endearing and disturbing. She wondered what the future held for her. She was sure of one thing. She would brook no more arguments about his intentions. She wanted him and that was a fact that she would not allow to get muddled with her pride ever again.
#
Days passed and Chadwick heard nothing from Brittany. His disappointment turned into a bitterness that was felt by all in the family.
The family gathering had been a success as far as Adanna was concerned and she was happy it was over with. She was sad that she would have to say goodbye to her mom and dad. She wished wholeheartedly that it was Chadwick leaving and not them, because he had turned into a monster. Adanna was angry at Brittany for leaving Chadwick high and dry. Vana had even threatened to go find Brittany, beat her up, patch her up, and bring her to Chadwick. Everyone knew that was a bad idea, but they couldn’t help but share her sentiment. After all, Brittany had promised she would call.
Instead of being angry, James Jordan had been worried. He was convinced that something terrible had happened. He liked Brittany and he refused to believe that he had misjudged her character. He kept saying that someone with Brittany’s character would call and explain instead of just disappearing. Chadwick, however, stubbornly refused to listen. He repeated the conversation he and Brittany had had the day of the carriage fiasco and staunchly refused to believe anything other than that Brittany had decided she wanted nothing to do with him. James, however, remained puzzled, but upon Chadwick’s threat of retribution of the gravest kind, he promised not to call or make any effort to contact Brittany.
After seeing his mom and dad safely onto their train, Chadwick decided it was time for him to go back to Atlanta. He purchased his ticket and packed his bags. Sitting in the passenger seat, as Adanna prepared to drive him to the airport, Chadwick felt self-disgust.
“Adanna, please drive by Brittany’s house. I know I am being weak, but I just can’t leave without driving by. We won’t stop or anything. I just want to take one last look.”
“Chadwick, are you sure? What if she sees us? Won’t you be embarrassed?”
He thought about this for a minute. Why was he driving by her house anyway? She didn’t want him. She thought he was some sort of opportunistic, bad rich man who took advantage of people less fortunate. That was the greatest insult. Chadwick had been kind all his life. It was one of his trademark qualities. To be impugned with unkind motives was unbearable. She had accused him basically of looking out for his own selfish interest, which was so far from the truth. He had taken an iron will not to seduce her. He could have had her if he wanted to. He knew what to do to break her down and get her in his bed, but he wanted her to feel safe with him. He wanted their relationship to be built on trust and respect. He was willing to give her the time she needed to get to know him before he proposed marriage, before he proposed anything. Why had she thrown his kindness back in his face? She owed him an explanation and he would have it.
“Yes, Adanna I am sure. As a matter of fact, we are going to stop when we get there, because I have a few words for Brittany Bradfield. I don’t know who she think she is, but nobody and I mean nobody insults me for any reason. I want her little neck between my hands.” Chadwick’s jawline was rigid and he looked determined.
“Chadwick, she has a right to deny you. You can’t make her love you. Just let it go. I’m taking you to the airport.” Adanna was not Vana. She never had and never would encourage Chadwick in his madness. Vana would have broken all speeding laws to get Chadwick to Brittany so he could give her a piece of his mind. Adanna was gentle by nature. Forceful people made her uncomfortable. For this reason, she and Chadwick, although they loved each other as siblings should, had never really been close. He didn’t understand her supplicant nature and she surely didn’t understand his obstinate nature.
“Adanna, pull the car over now.” Chadwick knew she would obey. When she did as he had commanded, Chadwick got under the wheel and headed towards Brittany’s house.
#
When they rounded the corner that lead to Brittany’s home, Chadwick stopped breathing. The charred mass of rubble before him could not be Brittany’s house. He could feel his heart pounding. His ears began to ring. He had the eerie feeling someone was pulling his hair up by his scalp. He could hear Adanna crying. Through glazed eyes he looked away from the pile of burned wood and into Adanna’s eyes. He saw pity and horror wash across her face simultaneously.
Chadwick was out of the car and stumbling towards the wreckage. For some insane reason he was screaming Brittany’s name. This bought out the neighbors. An old woman shuffled up to him quickly. Putting a hand on his arm she said, “You are Brittany’s young man, aren’t you? Christy told me about you. She told me you would come and she gave me an address to give you. They’re alright baby. They’re all mourning this old house, but they are fine. Who is that in the car with you?” The little old lady’s e
yes had become suspicious.
Chadwick had fallen to his knees with gladness that no one was hurt. He stood back up and dusted his pants off. Looking towards the car he beckoned for Adanna to get out. “That’s my sister.”
“Okay, honey. I guess you wouldn’t have brought another woman friend over to Brittany’s house with you anyway. Men aren’t that foolish these days, although some of them come darn near close enough to being that foolish. Let me get these old bones in the house and find that piece of paper. Yall come on with me. You look like you could use a drink. Now, I’m not the drinking kind, but I keeps something for my social calls you know.”
Chadwick’s thoughts were shattered. He couldn’t think straight. He knew the little old lady was kind, but her rambling was making him crazy. He had been so afraid for Brittany. Knowing that she was actually okay was a relief. He felt ashamed that he had doubted her. He had not been there for her in her time of terrible need. He was deeply ashamed. Adanna reached over, grabbed his hand and squeezed it. She was trying to comfort him, but Chadwick was beyond consolation. He only wanted Brittany. He had to get to her soon.
The minute they entered the little old lady’s house, he knew they were in trouble. The little lady had lied. Her house smelled of alcohol. It permeated the walls. She was without a shadow of a doubt a hardcore alcoholic. Chadwick became very afraid that he would not be getting the information he so desperately needed.
The little lady shuffled around the room. She made two drinks and drank them before she remembered she was supposed to be making drinks for him and Adanna. Chadwick suddenly had visions of choking the little lady to death.
“Excuse me, Miss. What is your name?” Adanna asked the little lady in a soft voice. She knew enough about her brother to know that interference was necessary at this point. Chadwick would be exploding soon and she wanted no parts of it.
“Viola Maybell, but you can just call me Vi. All my friends call me Vi.”
“Mrs. Vi, my brother and I--.” Viola cut her off.
“I said call me Vi. I like to be called Vi. You don’t need to add no ‘Mrs.’ to it.” The smell of stale sweat and alcohol was making Adanna’s stomach sick. She looked around at the mess within the house. Papers were everywhere. They would never get the address from this woman. Why would Christy leave important information with an alcoholic?
Chadwick’s arms were crossed over his chest. He felt the heat of anger rising around his face and ears. Before he could control his outburst, he had decided not to bother with rage. He passed Vi and Adanna and stepped into the kitchen. He had noticed there were pieces of paper stuck to the fridge with little strawberry magnets. Snatching them off one at a time he read each piece of paper. Some were recipes. He wondered why Vi’s house hadn’t burned down as drunk as she was. Surely she didn’t actually cook. Some were receipts. Finally, he pulled off a piece of paper labeled “Bradfield Girls.” The handwriting was big and circular. It had the address of a Holiday Inn. Chadwick’s stomach clenched. They were staying in a hotel, while he had been sleeping in Adanna’s big comfortable house sulking over Brittany’s perceived rejection. He felt like a jerk.
Storming out of the kitchen, he grabbed Adanna’s hand dragging her along. After his experience with the drunken carriage driver, Chadwick was afraid he would never be able to be in the same room with an inebriated person without resorting to some sort of violence. Pulling Adanna with him through the door, he left Viola Maybell’s house and stalked down the street to Adanna’s car. Never once did he let Adanna’s hand go until they got to the car.
“Get in the car now!” He barked at Adanna who was so nervous at this point, she could barely get the door open. Chadwick snatched the door open and shoved her in before striding around to the drivers side and jumping in. Viola Maybell stood on her porch, mouth hanging open as the screeching of tires made her cover her ears and the stench of burning rubber made her nose twitch.
CHAPTER 12
Thanks to Adanna’s navigational system, Chadwick had no trouble finding the hotel. He was relieved to see they were staying at a Holiday Inn in an upscale area. It would have tormented him to find them anywhere less. He and Adanna made their way into the lobby with haste. Chadwick was moving at a near run, but slowed down when he realized Adanna was skipping in order to keep up with him.
He was anxious to see Brittany to find out for himself whether she was okay. He was so intent on reaching the lobby desk that he didn’t even see Amber until she called his name. He was shocked at her appearance. The fire was gone from her eyes. Her shoulders drooped and she looked exhausted. The baggy jeans and huge sweat-shirt she wore made her look emaciated. Chadwick knew she was thin, but she looked as if she hadn’t been eating at all.
Amber had not shed a tear since the night of the fire. She was still in shock. The sight of her mother’s beloved home burning to the ground had torn her heart out. She and her sisters had escaped unharmed physically, but watching their home burn had opened the wound of their mother’s death. Memories had gone through Amber’s mind of her mother’s struggle to keep the mortgage up on the house. Unable to cope with the sadness, she had been numb since the fire. The sight of Chadwick jolted her out of shock and back into painful reality. Tears began to roll down her face and she started shaking uncontrollably.
“Amber, please don’t cry.” Chadwick reached her side and began patting her awkwardly on the back. Adanna walked around to the other side of Amber and put her arm around her.
“Wh-who are you?” Amber sniffed as she looked up at Adanna. Adanna was at least two heads taller than her.
“This is my sister, Adanna.” Chadwick said.
Amber looked at Adanna for a second and lowered her head. Her lips trembled as she tried valiantly to stop crying. Chadwick stared helplessly at Adanna over Amber’s bowed head.
“Amber, tell me what happened.” Chadwick squashed his impatience to see Brittany. He knew that Amber needed his help.
The gentleness in Chadwick’s voice was Amber’s undoing. She and her sisters had been alone for so long. They had struggled for years to keep their heads above water. Amber had put everything she had into preserving a sense of normalcy after her mother’s death. The house was central to everything. A wave of guilt washed over her. She didn’t think she could live through the pain. Sobbing, she laid her head on Chadwick’s chest.
“I burned the house down. I was warming up some soup and fell asleep. I...I could have killed my sisters. Chadwick please don’t tell them it was me. I can’t handle them knowing it was me.” Amber was sobbing loudly and causing a scene. She was falling apart in his arms. Chadwick had no idea where Brittany and Christy could be or what room they were in. Amber’s plea for him to keep her secret made his heart ache. She was the oldest and she still felt responsible for her sisters even though they had become women. He felt sorry for the stress this young woman had endured over the years since their mother’s death.
“Amber baby, calm down." He lifted her into his arms and walked with her through the lobby and on through the glass doors of the inside pool. All the while, she cried her heart out. She cried for the loss of her momma; she cried for the years of deprivation, she cried for the injustice done to her mother when she was living, she cried for Christy’s motherless adolescence, she cried for Brittany, and she cried for herself.
Silent tears rolled down Adanna’s face. She couldn’t bear to see the raw anguish Amber was feeling. She reached into her purse, pulled out a handkerchief and gave it to Chadwick. He had settled himself and Amber into a beachchair. She was curled up in his lap. Her entire body shook with years of unreleased sorrow. She cried and cried. Chadwick wrapped his arms about her and held her close, as she succumbed to too many years of pent-up emotion. Chadwick was happy to note that Amber’s slight frame was not having the same effect on him as Brittany’s had.
“Amber, listen. The house can be rebuilt. You and the girls survived. That’s what is most important. I’m rejoicing over that. All of you
could have died, but you didn’t. Don’t you know how much Christy and Brittany love and need you. They will forgive you anything, especially this. They know that losing the house has hurt you too.”
“Momma worked herself to the bones trying to keep that house! She worked day and night for that house! You don’t understand what I’ve done.” Amber sobbed into Chadwick’s neck.
“Do you have insurance on the house?”
“Yes, of course.” Amber hiccupped. She was a mess and she knew it.
“Good girl. You haven’t done as much damage as you think. Real estate is valuable. If you own a home, you have what the world calls an asset. If that asset is insured and something happens to it, you get paid at least the equivalent of it and sometimes even more. Amber all you have to do is rebuild. I’m sure your momma just wanted you girls to have a place to live and something to fall back on. Please don’t do this to yourself. Things go and come. Its people we should mourn not things.” He was wiping her face with Adanna’s handkerchief. Amber had quieted down. She was looking at Chadwick and he could see by the tiny spark in her eyes that he had said the right thing.
“We can rebuild in the same spot can’t we? We could have bigger rooms and two bathrooms instead of one.” It was as if she was talking to herself.
“Well, you may not need too much extra space. Remember I plan on marrying Brittany.”
Amber looked up at him as she remembered the awful carriage ride that he and Brittany had endured. “Are you feeling any better? Brittany told us what happened. You saved her life.” Amber said as Chadwick lifted her away from his chest and put her on her feet.
Ignoring her remark about saving Brittany’s life, Chadwick said, “I got over the panic attack days ago. I was on my way to the airport because I thought Brittany had decided against dating me.”