Sean’s face scrunched at the memory of that night, and he chuckled. He made an elaborate show of keeping the door ajar. Smiling at me, he pulled my hands between his and helped me take a seat in the lounge chair. He sat across from me, straddling the chair.
The silence was uncomfortable, neither one of us knowing how to begin to fix this. I found it hard to meet Sean’s gaze. This whole fight would have been a non-issue if I could just manage to be less insecure.
With a heavy sigh, I finally reached out and pushed my fingers through Sean’s dark hair. It had gotten long and began to curl slightly on the ends. He leaned into my touch, as my fingers caressed his scalp. He took hold of my wrist, pulled my hand from his hair, and placed a tender kiss inside of my palm. Sean looked so vulnerable holding my hand to his lips. The only other time I could remember him looking like this is when we first met. He was uncertain of himself.
“I love you,” Sean whispered.
“I love you too,” I responded.
He dropped my hand in his lap, while he fished in his pocket for his cell phone. I watched while he thumbed through his apps, nervous of what he was about to show me. Panic set in. We’d only been arguing a few days, was that enough to make him want to end things?
“While I was on my way over here I heard this song on the radio. I tagged it and then bought it on iTunes. The words hit me the first time I listened to it. It sort of explains how I feel about us. Here listen.” Sean hit the play button on his phone and placed it between us on the chair.
The sounds of Tank’s masculine, desirous vocals streamed from the tiny speakers. He sang about all the things he’d do for the woman in his life because she meant that much to him. From giving up his money, fighting for her love, to taking bullets for her. When the song ended, the nervous twitching of Sean’s leg was even more evident. I wanted to comfort him, ease his tension, so he would know nothing could break us apart.
“The second verse really hit home. As I was driving, I started thinking about the person I was before I met you. And, while I don’t know how hard it will be for me to gain all of your trust; I’m willing to put in the work.” His voice shook while he spoke.
I began to speak, but he put his finger on my lip. The move caught me off guard, but I guess there were a lot of things he needed to get off of his chest; so I kept quiet.
“I’m not always sure what to think when things like this happen. You know…when we fight or disagree. I think about the kind of relationship we have, and I love that when things happen we hash it out. But, today, I felt unsure about myself…unsure about us. I don’t know if I’m always doing the right thing. I keep telling myself ‘Sean don’t fuck this up; don’t do anything to make her unhappy’.” He paused, running a frustrated hand through his hair. I’d never seen him this vulnerable before.
“Look, I won’t sit here and lie; it really pisses me off when you clam up on me when we’re arguing. But, like I said, we always hash it out. I always know how to get us back to where we need to be. Today was just one of those days when I didn’t have the answer for how to do any of those things. You know…how to get us back to square one.” Sean took a slow breath, his pointed nose flaring as he breathed out. “But, today, I saw something I never want to see again, Lashawnda. I saw the light dim in your eyes when you looked at me. I didn’t mean to be such an asshole about this whole move; I guess I’m just greedy, and I want you all to myself. I know I can be a little overbearing sometimes.”
“You were being very overbearing, babe,” I said with a snicker.
Sean chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Ma says it’s something I inherited from my father.”
Taking his large hand between my own, I rubbed circles around Sean’s giant knuckles. I’d never admitted it out loud, but I had a very unhealthy obsession with his hands. The feel of them on my body, the way they flowed while he typed on a keyboard, even the power they possessed when he worked around the house.
“Do you know that you are perfect?” I asked him in a low whisper.
“I’m far from perfect,” Sean responded quickly.
“But, you see that’s where you are mistaken. You are perfect for me. When I need a bit of patience you are always willing to give it. When I need a little loving you are always there to carry me into nirvana. When I need a little direction, you are always there to guide me. And, when I need a wakeup call, you are willing to shoulder the blame even when the fault is not all your own.” I brought Sean’s hand to my lips. “You are perfect, Sean…absolutely perfect for me. This situation isn’t about you or me, it’s about us. If I spend the next sixty years loving you and we never fight or argue, I think I’ll go crazy worrying something is wrong with us.”
I reached down and picked up his phone. “How many men would buy an R&B song on the whim to help him express his feelings?” Sean shrugged his shoulders. “Not many. But be clear of something…I’m not going anywhere. Even if we are going to argue about this living situation for the next ten years, I’ll still be with you.”
“Can I be honest with you?” Sean asked nervously.
“I would expect nothing less.”
“I just don’t know how to deal with you when situations like this happen. Please tell me why you don’t trust me?” he asked in a sorrow filled voice.
“It isn’t that I don’t trust you. I am just being cautious. I know you love me. I know you would do anything for me. I know you are a good man. I know our relationship is more than I could ever wish for.” I paused, rubbing circles in Sean’s palm. “But, I’m slightly nervous about us moving too fast too quick. I don’t want us to make any mistakes.”
Sean tilted his head to the side as if considering my explanation.
“This may sound stupid, but it’s almost like I don’t trust the reality of what most people consider their fantasy.” I looked up at him with my face scrunched up hoping he understood. “Does that make sense?”
Sean closed his hands around my fingers above where my pulse beat. “So, let me get this right. You think we are perfect for each other. You are the ying to my yang, the calm to my turbulence. Yet, there’s just not enough problems within our relationship, so it seems too much like a fantasy?”
I smiled shyly and bowed my head. “Something like that. I guess it sounds stupid to want to have a relationship that has a bit more drama in it. But, I don’t want that.” I quickly amended, gripping his hands. “I guess what I’m trying to say is the reality of how good things are, is just taking time to get used to.”
Sean leaned in, pressing his lips to mine. It was our first kiss we’d shared since we started arguing yesterday. Minutes later, when we finally came up for air, I could see what the issue was all along.
“Oh gosh, I’m so stupid,” I said smacking myself on the forehead. “I want to move in with you...in your townhouse, which will then be ours,” I said excitedly.
“What changed your mind?” Sean asked. “I don’t want you to move in with me because you feel like you’re giving in to my demands.”
I moved across the lounge chair, decreasing the space between us. “It just hit me; I was afraid of being like every other woman out there. I didn’t want things to end with us, and then, I’d be left homeless and be forced to move back in with my parents or something like that. I’ve seen it happen way too many times…”
I got even closer, until I was practically sitting in Sean’s lap. “But, I’m not other women; and we are not other couples. It’s just me and you…the Sean and Lashawnda show. I can’t let other people's’ situations prevent me from experiencing the best love any woman has ever had.”
“You sure about this?” Sean asked.
“I’m very sure…besides we spend more time at your place anyways.” I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“The place felt so empty without you.” Sean admitted, sadly. “I felt so empty without you…”
“Don’t ever feel that way again. I am yours…always.” I felt as if I would cry hearing Sean
’s dejected voice.
This man had become my motivation for breathing, my reason for smiling. I wondered if he knew how much power he held over me. I lightly kissed his lips, whispering my love for him. There were so many things I could be happy for, and I planned on enjoying being loved by someone this amazing. I smiled wickedly and slowly eased off of Sean’s lap.
“Now, since my time here is limited, I think we need to take care of a few things.” Placing my hand on the door leading back inside, I turned the handle. “Sean the door is locked.”
“What…that’s not possible. I left it ajar,” he said hopping up from his seated position.
I gave him a big toothy grin. “Sike, just messing with ya.” I swung the door open with a flourish and stepped inside.
“Minx,” Sean replied following me inside of the house. “By the way, we sort of kind of don’t have a choice about me moving in with you.”
“What do you mean?” I stopped in the doorway of my bedroom. My legs apart, both arms against the door frame; knowing how distracted I was making Sean in my skimpy night clothes.
“Um…my mom decided she wants to give up her position in Palm Beach and move closer to us.”
“Wow! That’s awesome.” I interjected excitedly.
Sean nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “I know…so I told her she could have my place since we would be finding a new place.”
“Aww, babe you’re such a good son,” I said sweetly. “I bet she was so happy. She really likes it here.”
Sean placed his hands above mine and stepped closer to me. “I think we should start looking for a place soon. Your lease is up next month, and my mom wants to move in the next three to four months. What do you think?”
“I think that’s a great idea. You were willing to move for me?” I rubbed my fingers up and down his.
“I’d do anything to make sure you stay happy, sweetheart.” His voice was low and purposeful.
“Give me your phone.” I stretched out my hands and took it from him. I walked to the other side of the bed and placed it on the speaker dock. The sultry sounds of Tank’s voice floated in the air as the song he downloaded began to play. I set it to repeat, wanting this to be our background music all night. Making my way back to Sean I started taking off my clothes. It didn’t take much effort since I only had on two pieces; my tank and shorts.
“Now, I don’t know who taught you that little trick, Dr. Colcord, but it worked,” I said standing illustriously naked in front of him.
“I know not what you speak.” Sean quirked his eyebrows at my statement.
“You found us a song.” I smiled at his innocent expression.
Running my hands underneath his shirt, I caressed the deep contours of his well-defined torso. Sean followed my lead and lifted his arms in the air as I removed his shirt. With two fingers hooked into his waistband I slid his boxers and sweatpants down his legs. My new position brought me face to face with his majestic length. He was already dripping at the tip. I wasted no time as I licked the pearly droplet from the head of his thick cock. I stood back up as Sean stepped out of his pants. Iron bands wrapped around my waist, Sean’s arms were one of my favorite parts of his body. I swirled my hips against his hardening cock as I circled his neck with my arms. Sean stepped further into the room and walked us backwards until my knees hit the bed.
“I always thought “Drop it Low” was our song.” Sean joked as he eased on top of me, blanketing my body with his solid frame.
“That’s our backup song. This one will be our main song.”
His hand smoothed the tiny hairs around my face as he looked at me in that special way only he could.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he breathed out in reverence.
In an effort not to cry, I hugged Sean close to my body. His weight pressing me into the mattress was something I would never get tired of. Things could never be too perfect, I thought as Sean tangled his fingers with mine. Our lovemaking was slow and deliberate. The steady ebb and flow of our movements spoke volumes. Every kiss promised a lifetime of everlasting love. Every whimper and soft moan left whispered phrases of commitment and dedication. By the time fiery hot tears cascaded down my temple, my lover had branded his mark on my soul over and over again.
We were perfect…together.
❧❧MV❧❧
“Excuse me, ma’am?”
The sound of a male voice pulled me from my daydream. I blinked a few times and shook my head. There was a stocky hotel security guard standing in the entryway of the office. His pot belly and steely demeanor reminded me of the cartoon police captain from The Simpsons.
“Your phone is ringing.” He pointed at the device on the desk.
“Oh.” My phone buzzed again, with shaky fingers I picked it up, sliding the green bar across the display to answer it.
“Hello.”
“Hey, it’s Brent. Have you heard anything yet?”
“No. We’re still waiting with the security from the hotel. The police have been notified and are here as well.” My voice was firm, not shaky like it had been just a few minutes ago. This pendulum of emotions was going to send me to an early grave.
“Okay. That’s good right?” Brent’s attempt at reassuring me fell on deaf ears. Nothing but seeing the love of my life would cause this erratic beat of my heart to ease.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Don’t worry Lashawnda. Once they get a hold of the footage, they’ll be able to figure out where he disappeared to.”
“I know.” I smiled nervously at the female police officer who was standing at the front of the open door. She was one of the few, that showed me an ounce of respect since this whole fiasco started. “I just wished someone would have listened to me two hours ago when I said, something was wrong. Instead, they were acting like I was a crazy, jealous girlfriend.”
The policeman passing by had the decency to look away upon hearing my words.
This night was supposed to be simple. Never had I dreamed that coming to H&G’s annual end of the year's celebration would turn into one of my greatest nightmares. This man was the love of my life. I was giddy with excitement over the life we were building together. I spent hours on the phone with my sister and best friend giggling about the way he expresses his love for me. We were at the pivotal point in our relationship; where we were ready to move to the next step. I couldn’t lose him now. I wouldn’t…not like this.
“Lashawnda, I know this is crazy right now, but trust me everything is going to work out. Sean would never let anything happen to himself. He loves you too much.” Brent spoke with so much conviction I could do nothing but believe every word he spoke.
I sighed resigned to keep calm until I heard something. Positive or negative I was going to keep a level head. Sean had gone missing about five hours ago according to the timeline I was able to put together from various people at the event. I had an accident with one of the caterers earlier in the evening and had to run back home to change. I kept thinking if I was just a little less accident prone none of this would have happened.
“My emotions are all over the place right now, Brent. My heart is still beating, so I know he’s going to be okay. We’ll find him. I know we will,” I replied mimicking Brent’s convincing tone.
I exhaled the pent-up anxiety from my body remembering Sean’s words as we woke this morning. His warm body curled around me was something I didn’t know I needed until the fear of losing it was evident. I could still feel the warmth of his breath against my face as he whispered against my skin: “You are everything to me.”
And, he was everything to me. I would have him back no matter what.
To be continued...
COMING SOON
OVER THE HEDGE: Part 2
They found love over the hedge, now what’s next?
Lashawnda couldn’t be happier with the development of her relationship with Sean. But now the hard part comes meeting each other’s family, blending their lives, figuring out
all the little things about someone that makes you either fall deeper in love or question why you’re with them.
But not everyone wants to see them happy. At the end of Part One Sean’s missing. How did this couple go from living in bliss to living in a nightmare? The explosive conclusion of Over the Hedge will leave you gasping until the last chapter.
A WARRIOR’S PROMISE
She was a spoil of war.
He was a warrior that captured her.
Treachery, deceit, and power will bring them closer together and yet further apart. Which promise will he keep…the one he made to his country or the one to his heart.
DIVE
Kay Norrington has been the odd girl out all of her life. Too big for the stage, too dark for the camera. She's heard it all but has refused to give up on her dreams. On a whim, she answers an ad for an underwater performance show that's slated to make waves in the world of visual arts. Kay's skills as a dancer and experience as a diver make her perfect for this gig and all seems to be going well until the secrets from her private life make their way onto center stage.
Vincent Acierno has been creating art since he could hold his first paintbrush. The world has been in awe of his masterpieces, but no one knows the man behind the canvas. When a devastating accident causes Vincent to lose the functions of his dominant hand, he's forced to develop another way to release his creativity. He takes a plunge into the dark web where he finds a source of inspiration that he never imagined he would experience. Vincent dives head first into this new world but might have to reveal his true identity when his muse begins to drown in her own demise.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I would just like to take a moment to acknowledge the readers of The Chamber. Not only would I have not had the courage to publish my work, but I wouldn’t have had the drive to continue to write without your encouragement. Thank you all for the reviews, emails, and demands that I keep writing and take this thing to the next level. You ladies are forever in my heart as I travel along this publishing journey.
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