“Fuck,” she muttered.
The problem wasn’t the sleek black sports motorcycle in the center of the driveway. Her concern lay with the sex packaged in a pair of blue jeans. More so, the powerful man staring at her as if daring her not to stop. While she was tempted to drive by with a little wave, she needed to clear up this misunderstanding.
She parked at the curb and heat rose in her body. With shaky hands, she exited the car, blowing out a slow breath. Of course Aidan would show up at her house. Why had she expected otherwise?
With a fake smile forming on her lips, tingles like jelly beans were dancing in her belly. He pushed off his bike and his warm expression caught her breath. Her gaze roamed over him, stirring places that shouldn’t stir at the moment. Lord, he was hot in his leather jacket.
His mouth held a slight curve as he met her halfway down the driveway with a steady gait. She inhaled deeply through her nose, forcing her fluttering stomach and puckering nipples to chill out.
“Hi.” She cleared her throat, placing her keys into her purse with trembling fingers. He’d never come to her house … ever. In fact, she’d never seen him outside of Club Sin. A cold sweat washed over her. Her throat tightened. “What brings you by?”
His head tilted from side to side as he regarded her, and then his gaze cut to the shopping bag in her hand. “What’s that?”
With a nibble to her bottom lip, she stared into his chiseled face, trying to get a read on him, which was unsuccessful. His emotions were very much in check. “Something for tonight.”
He crossed his arms, observing her with a flat expression. “You do plan on coming to the dungeon tonight?”
Cora gulped at the muscles bulging along his forearms. Her limbs shook, and she slid her arm through the handle of her purse and then stuffed her hands in the pockets of her skinny jeans. Somehow seeing Aidan out in public made him more real.
Her loins burned.
Yet her mind raced.
If only she knew his looks outside of Club Sin, maybe she could get a grip on herself. His intent was not clear. Though they had played together for two years, Aidan stuck to a D/s relationship in the dungeon, not out of it. She didn’t know his expressions outside of the club. He’d always been gentle or in full Dom mode. His half-lidded eyelids showed neither side right now.
She pondered his question, and then her blood ran cold. Did he plan to ban her from Club Sin until she talked to him? No, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t dare. “Am I not allowed to go?”
“Of course, you’re welcome.” He smiled politely, not genuinely. “I wasn’t sure if you would. If you felt up to it.”
Terrific.
Cora rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to have this talk, because as far as she was concerned there was nothing worth discussing. He wasn’t ready to go there, and neither was she. Hadn’t she made that perfectly clear last night? “I told you, Aidan, nothing’s wrong. I plan on coming to the dungeon and playing with you.” Good grief, first Presley, now Aidan. “Why can’t everyone listen to what I’m saying?” She yanked her hands from her pockets and gripped her purse. “I. Am. Fine!”
I. Do. Not. Want. To. Talk. About. It.
Believe. Me. Neither. Do. You.
He made a Hmmm noise in his throat. “I heard what you told me last night.” His expression became pensive with the arch of his brow. “I also heard what you didn’t say.”
Cora threw her hands up in an “I give up” gesture, nearly smacking herself in the face with her purse. Before she could snap out her reply, her neighbors strolled by with their German shepherd. They regarded Aidan with a keen eye and bright smiles. Wonderful. She ground her teeth at the looming conversation in which she explained to them that he wasn’t her boyfriend.
Her stomach hardened as she waved at them. The tension increased as she turned to Aidan. He’d taken a step closer, removing the distance. “Can we go inside? I’d like to talk to you.”
Fuck-fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck!
What could she say—no? It’d only increase his belief that something was wrong and she was hiding from him. Which of course she was, but for his own good. And nothing was freaking wrong. She was okay with their relationship. She’d accepted it. And she was happy—’nuff said. “Come on.”
On her way to her cherry-red front door, her insides quivered. While part of her knew this conversation was coming, she sure as shit hadn’t expected it right now. Her hands trembled as she unlocked the door and entered her house, and her shoulders dropped as she glanced at the wide-screen television. She had planned to watch a chick flick before getting ready for tonight, not deal with Aidan and his questions.
She strode through the living room and approached the kitchen. The eerie silence had her tugging on her black chiffon blouse. Even if Presley hadn’t been her roommate for long, Cora had gotten used to the company. Her house lacked the warmth it once had.
When she reached the kitchen, Aidan was hot on her heels. Turning to him, she set her bag of lingerie on the countertop. Her knees buckled as he leaned against her counter with his arms folded, oozing authority. As he always did, he dominated the space, and butterflies fluttered in her belly.
Him, in her house, all alone … a naked Aidan taking her against the countertop flashed like a wicked fantasy in her mind.
Stop!
He regarded her with a long look, and to her dismay, no heat rested in his shadowy eyes, only softness. “Talk to me.”
Her mouth was dry as she moved to the stainless-steel fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. “What do you want to talk about? Sports? The weather?”
His warm hand grasped hers and she melted into his hold. God, his touch … it curled her toes. She looked to him and his stern voice matched the severity of his features. “Talk now.”
Cora glanced to her water bottle in desperation to add moisture to her mouth. She restrained a moan as the heat from his body engulfed her in a seductive burn. “I don’t know how many ways I can possibly tell you that nothing’s wrong.”
Aidan captured her gaze with a finger under her chin. His eyes flared with power as he pressed his body into hers, trapping her between himself and the countertop. “Last night, I saw sadness …” He brushed his finger under her eye with a gentle sweep. “Right here, Cora. Don’t lie to me.”
Lost in his stare, her mind stuttered. To have him this close made her ache. To have Aidan in her home on a Saturday afternoon had been what she used to wish for. All the same, her blood went frigid. She did this to protect him and to keep what they had together. She wasn’t the problem. His avoidance to move on from Lily was. “I’m fine,” she said through clenched teeth.
“Cora,” he said, low and slow.
She heaved a sigh, swallowing under the assault of his closeness. “Really, it’s all A-okay.” He locked his elbows as she attempted to shift out of his hold. A hot shiver raced into her loins.
Trapped in his alert gaze, she spun into a whirlwind of desire. She craved his hot kisses, his burning touch. He examined her furtively. “Did something in our scene last night upset you?”
“Of course not.” The space between them got a helluva lot smaller, and she pushed against his arm. The hard muscle didn’t move. As a submissive, she relished that power and removal of choices. Now it made her feel like a little woman in the presence of an incredibly commanding man.
The bigger problem?
Her soaked panties.
She needed that damn water … and she needed it now!
Shifting against the counter to retreat, her back ached at the hard marble pressing into her skin. Think, Cora. He needed a reason why she had left so abruptly. She’d never panicked like that before. Yet he’d never questioned her like that, either. And quite possibly the conversation with Presley had opened old wounds.
Cora squirmed to draw away from him, which only rubbed her against his hard cock. She cursed his damn jeans and hers for the barrier. Aidan touched her only in scenes, but her body didn’t know the difference. He
awakened her
Aidan leaned in, erasing the distance. “Did Presley upset you?”
Her fingers twitched to reach out and explore his face. Achy and hot, she craved to fulfill that earlier fantasy. His large pupils indicated he wouldn’t be unwilling. “No,” she said both to his question and to her body’s desire.
He drew his bottom lip in between his teeth and he leaned closer, nose-to-nose. “Let me get this straight—you want me to believe you’re perfectly fine, and that nothing is bothering you?”
Under his fierce stare, she shut her eyes to avoid him. His velvety soft voice struck her as if a vibrator was tormenting her clit. His closeness, that perfect mouth that kissed her passionately, and the waves of heat coming off him all made it impossible to think.
With a soul-deep shove, she forced her eyes open. Now wasn’t the time to lose sight of what she wanted. In Club Sin, Doms held control. Out of it, she lived on her terms. She’d chosen her path with Aidan. She’d made difficult choices but had accepted them.
While she understood Aidan’s intent came from concern, she had run out of ideas. How many times could she say I’m fine before she even annoyed herself? “I don’t know what to say.”
One sleek eyebrow arched. “You tell the truth, Cora.”
Annoyed to her bones, she gripped her water bottle tight and forcibly shoved his arm. This time he allowed it. Her heart hammered and her loins pulsated as she hurried into her living room.
His absence cooled her jets, and she exhaled in relief. She crumbled onto the couch, taking a sip of her water and welcoming the moisture into her dry throat. It came of no surprise that a second later his woodsy scent invaded the air.
A wrinkle marred his forehead. “Talk.”
She’d had about enough of his digging and was a step away from kicking his ass out, no matter that she also wanted to jump his bones. In her line of work, she knew one way to get out of this. Turn the tables on him. “Do you talk to me about your personal life?”
He planted his feet in a wide stance, thrusting his chest out. “I would if you asked me a direct question.”
Liar.
Not that she’d call him that. Pissing off a Dom she’d see in the dungeon later wasn’t on her to-do list. Aidan shared nothing of himself. Everything she’d learned about him had come from others. His past, and even about the death of Lily, had never come from his mouth.
That was exactly why her desire for more had to stay a secret—until he opened up to her, she couldn’t push. She had tried in the first year they played together to go deeper and build a relationship, but he’d shut her down every time. Then she would see darkness spread across his features.
While some women would think that meant he wasn’t that into her, Cora knew better. His touch couldn’t lie. The man Aidan was in a scene was unguarded and loved her. Out of a scene, she didn’t even recognize him. Sometimes she wished she’d known Aidan before Lily; what kind of man would he have been?
Probably the man Cora wanted.
Though, fair was fair.
If he didn’t share, why in the hell should she?
She might support him. She might understand his pain. She might even wait for him to move on from Lily. But she would certainly not be a doormat. She’d made her choices, but that had been on her terms. If that ever changed, things between them would have to change, too.
Aidan might be shadowed in misery, but he’d always been good to her in Club Sin. He respected her. He cared for her. As a Dom, she couldn’t ask for anything more. As a man, he needed to sort some stuff out.
No one was perfect, and she certainly wasn’t.
Cora watched him standing solidly at the ready. Hell, she was ready, too. “What if I said I have some things in my past, but it’s not a big deal and I don’t want to talk about it?” Yeah, that worked.
“I’d say that’s your right,” he said, voice flat.
Perfect. A little hope, after all. “Okay, then, I don’t want to talk about it.”
The sun beamed through the big bay window and lit up the side of his face, detailing the scrumptious curves. He placed his hands in his pockets with a downcast expression. “Fine. We don’t have to talk about it.”
She curled her finger in her hair. “You’ll leave this alone, then?”
“I can’t forget what I saw.”
Thirty seconds away from her pushing him out of the house and locking the door behind his sexy ass. She scowled. “Try harder.”
“Impossible.” He rocked back on his heels and his facial features sagged. “I care about you.”
Her heart skipped a beat at the latter. While she could allow herself a smidgen of excitement that he seemed desperate to know more of her, she wouldn’t allow that hurt she once felt with Aidan to return. Until he fully opened up to her, she couldn’t, either. It was too dangerous. “Might I remind you that our D/s relationship doesn’t involve talking about personal problems that extend outside of the dungeon?”
“Things have changed, haven’t they?”
No, not enough, her head said.
But maybe, her heart whispered.
His gaze softened, voice equally so. “What I saw last night concerns me. The fact that you’re not talking about it makes me incredibly worried. Not only as your friend, but as your Dom, I cannot ignore that pain. I don’t know how much clearer I can make myself. For things to be okay, you need to explain this.”
I can’t. You’re not ready.
Cora took a sip of her water, glancing down to her lap. This conversation needed to go away. Pronto. He needed an explanation. Then it could be put to bed. Going with the only thing she could think of, she lifted her head. “Do you still talk to Porter?”
Aidan frowned. “Your ex-boyfriend, Porter Marshall?”
Cora had always thought it was weird that Aidan knew her ex-boyfriend, considering she had never met Aidan before she joined Club Sin. But all the Club Sin Masters had been members of Chains for years, and Porter had known them from there. Considering Aidan had eight years on her, she hadn’t come into the lifestyle until she was the legal age of twenty-one to attend a club.
By the time she was a member of Chains, Dmitri had already opened Club Sin. From what Aidan told her, Porter was dating another submissive at that time. But the relationship hadn’t lasted. Thus, when a college assignment had brought Cora to Chains for research, she had met Porter that very night. One look into the lifestyle and she never left. It hadn’t been only the kink that aroused her—even though that was a part of it. Watching a Dom command a submissive spoke to her soul.
To her, it was like knowing what sport someone would be good at. She knew the moment she saw a Dom interacting with a submissive that she belonged in the lifestyle. It was an itch almost, a draw to the lifestyle that ensnared her. And she was right—the lifestyle had centered her and made her happy.
Cora nodded. “Yep, that Porter.”
Aidan hesitated, watching her curiously. “No, I’m afraid we never kept in touch after I left Chains.”
Perfect and safe! “Well, I noticed Presley’s collar and that upset me.” Which was a half-truth; she didn’t want to lie to Aidan. “That’s all it was.”
His head tilted. “You were upset because Porter never collared you?”
“Err …” She nodded.
She couldn’t do it—she couldn’t open her mouth and tell a lie. Her relationship with Porter had been incredible. She’d learned so much from him in that year they’d dated. He’d shown her sexual adventures she never could have dreamed up. But she would have refused his collar, just as much as he never would’ve given her one.
By the end of the year of their relationship, they both realized they weren’t crazy in love, but were all too comfortable. Their scenes became more robotic; he was a man she cared about without the heat.
She wanted passion and sparks flying. She never found that in Porter, but she had found that in Aidan. Even still experienced that with him, after their two short years togeth
er. That’s why she waited. That’s why she stayed. “So that’s all it was. I was thinking that Porter never collared me and it made me sad for like a second. But I’m over it.”
Aidan watched her intently, his eyes searching hers. “Tell me, then, if you’re over it, why was your pain so obvious?”
She took another long sip of water and it slid easily down her throat. When her lips popped off the bottle, she replied, “Because we were talking about my past and I felt something. That doesn’t mean I’m weak. Nor does it mean that I’m consumed by pain. It also doesn’t mean that there’s anything to talk about.” She narrowed her eyes on him. “I don’t know how much clearer I can make myself.”
He ignored her use of his words thrown back at him. His gaze hardened. “I know you’re not weak, but I also know that pain. I’ve been there. I’ve lived it. And I don’t want you to feel like this.”
You are still living it!
While his shadowed past raged darkness in the depths of his eyes and spun her into a feeling of breathlessness, his words simply annoyed her. If he didn’t want her to feel this way, he needed to face his pain and wake up to what sat right in front of him. She didn’t want to have to tell him that—she wanted him to see it for himself. “Please don’t let this bother you. You saw something that I didn’t want you to see.”
He gave a slow, disbelieving shake of his head. “Sorry, Cora. I’m bothered.”
Chapter Seven
Later that evening, Cora leaned her hip against the dark wood vanity in her bathroom, which had a pebble-tiled floor and an all-glass shower. Looking into the round mirror, she finished with the last curl in her hair. Her makeup was dark and sexy, and perfect for a night at Club Sin.
Aidan had left her house hours ago, looking tense, and Cora had quivering muscles, too. She had no idea what would happen at the dungeon tonight. Would he get over his questions by the time she got there? Would he let this matter drop? Cora shook her head, snorting to herself.
Yeah, right!
Though the question remained: What would Aidan do next? And what would Cora’s next move be to avoid him? She didn’t want anything to change. She wasn’t ready for that yet—possibly because she had no idea what the outcome would be.
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