For fuck’s sake, he’d gone to Porter to find out Cora’s problems. Now he’d unknowingly led her right back into her ex’s arms. “Why is she with him?” he asked through gritted teeth.
Dmitri cupped Aidan’s shoulder, giving it a hard squeeze. “She needs comfort. She’s not dealing with this well.”
A gut-wrenching sensation made it impossible for Aidan to breathe. To know she struggled ruined him. He had inadvertently destroyed the strongest submissive. More than that, her kneeling for Porter and how he touched her head gave Aidan tunnel vision.
Her posture was tense and her shoulders curled forward, caving in her chest. She didn’t belong there. Nor did she lean in to Porter’s touch. Part of Aidan wanted to go to her, force her to his side. The responsible Dom in him knew better. Porter offered her a safe place—stability Aidan couldn’t give her.
He had done enough damage already. Clenching his fists in his lap, he refused to look at an image forever burned into his mind. “Fuck,” he muttered.
“Cora isn’t playing with him,” Dmitri replied. “He’s there to let her mind quiet. She doesn’t want anyone else. She’s waiting for you.” His features hardened, voice firmed. “What are you going to do about it?”
Aidan ran his hands over his face. What am I going to do? Cora had given so much to his life, but could he reciprocate, was he good for her or for anyone?—that answer remained unknown. “I didn’t know—”
“You are not stupid,” Dmitri interjected sternly. “Please don’t act like it.”
Aidan glanced to his friend’s dark eyes. Of course, he’d known he had something special with Cora, but he believed she was happy as things were. Though he could deal with her feelings for him, without a doubt, he’d have to face his demons first.
Could he survive that?
Did he want to face that pain?
Whatever Dmitri saw cross Aidan’s expression drew his brows together. “Stop punishing yourself, you’re not betraying Lily. She’d want you to be happy.”
Aidan shrugged off Dmitri’s hand. “This isn’t about Lily.” No one understood what he’d suffered and what continued to haunt him. Dmitri had his submissive. “You don’t understand.”
Kyler’s low growl broke through the thick air. “I’ve fucking had enough of this shit.” He gestured toward the dungeon’s door. “Come with me. Now.”
Pushing off the couch, Aidan followed Kyler out of the dungeon, more than happy to get the hell out of the club. He didn’t glance at Cora; one look at her on her knees for another Dom had been more than enough.
Once the dungeon door slammed shut behind Aidan, he growled, “What?”
Kyler pointed, narrowing his eyes. “You don’t get to talk. You only listen.” Aidan pressed his back against the stone wall, and Kyler added, “We all know you had a shit deal and we mourned with you when Lily died. You’re a lucky fool to have had two women that willingly submitted their hearts and bared their souls to you, and what do you do with it? You tarnish Lily’s memory by not being happy.” A fierce glare stormed across Kyler’s face as he thrust his hands into his pockets. “Live the fucking life she would’ve wanted for you.”
Aidan swallowed as the seconds drew out like minutes. “I—”
“I told you to shut the fuck up,” Kyler roared, spittle building in the corner of his mouth. “I get it. You don’t want to betray Lily. Well, guess what, a submissive has fallen in love with you—you idiot.”
A tense moment passed as Kyler’s eyes blazed, then he said through gritted teeth, “Cora admits a truth that she’s buried inside for two years—to protect you, let’s not forget that. Then you crush her when you know she’s cared for you from day fucking one.” He hesitated, his voice sliding into a sneer. “If you dare tell me you’re only friends, I swear what happens next won’t be pretty. That lie has run its course.”
“I’m not going to say that,” Aidan retorted, grateful for the stone wall at his back supporting him. “Knowing we share a connection isn’t the problem.”
Kyler disregarded Aidan, as if he wasn’t standing there and hadn’t spoken. Perhaps Aidan deserved that, too—to feel what Cora had been feeling and to understand what it felt like not being heard.
Jabbing a finger into Aidan’s face, Kyler sucked in a sharp breath. “Cora isn’t only your friend, she’s mine, too. If you’re too wrapped up in your damn head to protect her, then that role falls to me. If you cannot get your shit together, and I mean quickly …” He planted his feet wide, and his skin mottled. “Then back the fuck off.”
Aidan dropped his head. He should, shouldn’t he?
“You did not see her tonight—I did.” Kyler’s voice lost a smidgen of heat. “She’s a submissive who depends on a Dom—a Dom who’s turned his back on her.” Aidan lifted his head, and Kyler’s neck corded. “Stay away from the dungeon and get your shit sorted out.”
The logical choice.
At the moment, Aidan wasn’t thinking with logic. He heaved a sigh. “I need to—”
“You need to do nothing,” Kyler’s fists clenched. “It’s not fucking about you.” He pointed to the dungeon. “It’s about her.” Lifting his chin, looking like a cop deep in an interrogation, he added, “You demanded honesty from her, dug into her life, stirring up shit. Man up and do the same.”
Aidan shut his eyes, ignoring his inability to fill his lungs completely.
“No!” Kyler thumped the wall beside Aidan’s head and roared, “You don’t get to hide.”
Aidan dug his nails into his palms so he wouldn’t shove Kyler. Though how could he fault Kyler for being a good friend and looking out for Cora’s best interests?
He couldn’t.
You deserve his wrath. You broke her.
With that thought alone, he opened his eyes and swallowed his pride. Kyler leaned in nose-to-nose and added, “I don’t give a shit that you’re in love with her but also suffering with guilt. If you can’t face the truth, let her forget about you.” He shifted on his feet, crossing his arms. “For all she’s given you …” He raised his brows. “Yeah, remember what you used to be like? She brought you back from hell and made you smile again.”
“I’ve never forgotten what she’s done for me,” Aidan stated.
“Really?” Kyler snorted. “You sure have a terrific way of showing gratitude.” His lips pressed into a white slash before he snarled, “Figure it out! Or stay the hell out of the dungeon.” He turned on his heels and headed for the door.
When the dungeon door slammed shut behind him, Aidan’s breath startled from his lungs. The loud noise didn’t rattle him; what Kyler muttered before the door shut dropped the floor out from under Aidan.
“You’ve done right by her as her Dom. Now be the man who deserves her.”
Chapter Twenty-three
On her knees, Cora bowed her head for what seemed like hours. All she wanted was to fade away. This wasn’t her. She’d never been a woman who needed a man to be happy, nor had she depended on his embrace to fix her. Now those needs overwhelmed her, all because the man she craved had left the dungeon.
With a sigh, she cursed her reality, trying to find her way out of this hell. Until now, she hadn’t realized the importance of her submission to Master Aidan. Without him, nothing made sense. She didn’t know what to do or what to say.
She kept her hands splayed on her thighs and her body felt cold. At the sound of a slap against flesh, she lifted her head. Presley was bound to the spanking bench at her ankles, calves, arms, and wrists. Her ass showed the markings of a good use of the paddle, and Cora had counted at least ten wicked swats.
Cora doubted Presley had enjoyed them and figured she’d be a little bit teary-eyed. She had been there before and didn’t doubt the pain would fuel Presley’s orgasm, sending her into a mind-blowing release.
Master Dmitri shoved down his pants to his knees and growled, “Since you see me as a big, bad Dom, I suppose I’ll act as one.” Then he fucked Presley with brutal, unforgiving thrusts. P
resley, never a shy one with her voice, screamed sounds of pure satisfaction.
So very unlike him to be savage.
Big, bad Dom indeed.
It usually aroused Cora to watch others engage in erotic adventures. The exchange between a Dom and a submissive was beautiful—a dance of trust between two people looking for something more. Tonight, not even an inkling of heat stirred.
Cora chewed her inner lip and all she saw was the action. She dragged her palms over her legs and pitied Presley’s punishment. She hadn’t seen anything beautiful in their exchange. It seemed like Cora was watching a video she wished she could mute.
Fingers stroked her hair, and she glanced up to find Porter talking to Club Sin Master, Sawyer. She hadn’t heard a single word pass between them. But Porter kept her by his side, often stroking her hair.
Staying next to him gave her the sense of peace her battered soul demanded. She was at least doing something and obliging an order. That was better than doing nothing. And it also kept other Doms away while she pulled herself together.
As each minute dragged out, Cora breathed easier. Her tight muscles relaxed, her chest lightened, and her thoughts quieted. The ache in her heart didn’t go away, but it was manageable. Many more minutes went by before a finger tucked under her chin, commanding her gaze.
Porter regarded her before a sweet smile reached his face. “Ah, that’s a better look on you.”
The music around her shifted from soft rock to harder rock—a little darker and grittier. “I feel better, sir.”
Porter cocked his head. “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard you address me that way.” His eyes softened. “I like it.”
“I’m glad, sir.”
To her, the sir sounded different. With Master Aidan it held powerful emotion, but even Cora sensed little strength in her voice when she addressed Porter. Without the intense connection behind its meaning, it was only a word.
Porter shifted forward on his seat, leaning closer. “Master Dmitri offered me membership.”
“I’m not surprised.” Cora smiled. “I knew he would.”
Porter stared at her intently. “Therefore, since I’m sticking around, we need to discuss what’s going on with you. I tried to stay out of this, Cora, but I can’t allow that anymore. You were my submissive. I trained you.” His gaze hardened. “Yes, you received further training in Club Sin, but I don’t like what I see.”
Her heart raced, and she attempted to lower her head. “I—”
Porter’s fingers tightened on her chin. “You don’t want to be touched by another Dom?”
Uncontrollable flushes of heat washed over her, and she shook her head. “I know I’ll have to eventually address that.” Yes, she’d have to find the strength to stop waiting for Aidan and to move on. But there was no way in hell she could do that now. “I’m not ready to go there—not even remotely close.”
The light from the sconce highlighted the side of Porter’s face, showing off the stubble along his cheek. “Believe me, I get why you feel that way. However, I’m not talking about a sexual exchange. Right now I’m waiting on my clear test results that Dmitri requires to join the dungeon, so I cannot take you into a scene, anyway.” His eyebrows drew together, gaze hardened. “That said, let me take care of you. We can keep doing this—you being here with me.”
Cora stared at him, loving Porter for this reason. It was exactly why they’d remained close. He was an honorable man. He loved her enough that playing with others wasn’t his top priority.
He wanted to help her.
Pushing up on her knees, she cupped Porter’s face. “I don’t know what I did to deserve such a good friend as you, but I’m a lucky girl.”
Porter grinned. “I am the best, of course.”
Cora laughed softly before she sighed away her mirth. “If I need you, and if I’m feeling that lost, I’ll come to you. I promise. But after tonight, I think it’s best if I take a couple weekends off from the dungeon.” She hesitated, wanting to drink in this moment and savor a little comfort in the current mess. “I don’t want you to fix me. I can fix myself.”
“Now, that’s the Cora I remember.” He placed his hands over top of hers. “You’ll be okay. You know that, right?”
“Yep, I always am.” She couldn’t change Aidan, no matter how much she wanted to. He’d made his choices. He’d showed up tonight and he had left. Tonight was her first step forward without him.
No matter how much that hurt. No matter that she wished things were different. She’d never allowed a man to break her, and she wouldn’t allow Aidan to do it, either. She could—and would—move on.
Just not yet …
As she dragged her hands out from under Porter’s and sat back on her legs, a piercing scream of pleasure cut through the air. She turned toward the sound. Presley writhed in climax and Dmitri roared out his release.
Cora sighed.
At least someone got something good out of tonight.
She fell into her submissive role and allowed her mind to go silent. Here, she was only expected to be quiet. Even if Master’s Aidan’s arms were what she craved, this was a good alternative.
Cora had no clue how much time had drifted by when two black boots came into her vision. Master Kyler. Before she could look up, he asked in a low voice, “Can I take her?”
Master Kyler had clearly received a nod from Porter, since no words were exchanged. A finger tucked under Cora’s jaw, and she looked to Master Kyler. He frowned. “You need to be hugged, woman. Come here.”
He gathered her into his arms and his spicy scent spun around her as he carried her across the dungeon into a dark corner. He took a seat on the couch and tucked her against his side, wrapping a blanket over her.
Cora tensed as Kyler’s arms weren’t the ones she wanted around her—her heart and her mind were with only one guy, had been with only one guy, and no one else could cure her—but she needed to be held.
God, she needed it so bad.
Cora exhaled long and deep, resting her head against his cotton T-shirt. She didn’t look at Master Kyler. She didn’t need to see the tenderness to know it was there in his gaze. Her pulse steadied as his warmth surrounded her.
His arm tightened around her back. “You don’t need to worry that my holding you means I expect play tonight. This is merely friendship. It’s me recognizing you need this.” He cupped her arm with a firm grip. “Do you understand, Cora?”
“Yes, sir,” she whispered.
They had always been close.
Cora met him at a club in San Francisco while she was traveling. During her aftercare after their mind-blowing scene, they talked about both living in Vegas and exchanged phone numbers. That later led to him arranging a meeting with Master Dmitri to discuss membership. The rest was history.
He pressed his chin against her head. “Cry, Cora” His chest heaved under her head before he added, “It’s all right to cry now that Aidan’s gone.”
His voice had softened, exuding a comfort that Cora hadn’t known she needed. As if his order told her to unleash the sadness that crippled her. She grasped his T-shirt, and a sob broke free from her chest.
Reality smacked into her like waves crashing and pulling her under. Her soul emptied that she had caused this to happen. If she’d said nothing to Aidan, it would’ve been fine. Why did his touch have to remind her of how she used to feel? Why did she recognize the distance in the scene? And why couldn’t she have kept her mouth shut?
She’d known from day one he couldn’t love her and if she were ever honest about her feelings it would push him away. Aidan’s pain had destroyed him, but she’d slowly watched him come out of it.
Too see what Aidan looked like without restraint and distance brought hope. On their camping trip, he’d been carefree. There’d been no walls between, and maybe … just maybe … she thought he’d taken another step to leave his pain behind.
Perhaps she’d believed he realized how good they were together.
>
He’d made her laugh. He’d always made her feel like she was special. She adored that he always kept up with her sass. Deep down, Aidan was a good man who took care of the woman with him.
Why did she have to demand more than what he’d given her?
Now she had no part of him at all.
Hot tears rushed over her warm cheeks, and she couldn’t stop them. The worst thing of all, Aidan was drawn back into his pain. All she’d wanted—all she’d been trying to do—was help him see past it. She hated that she’d pushed him into such darkness. If she could go back and not say what she’d said to him in the cemetery, she would.
She’d take back so many things.
When her breath stopped hitching under her sobs, she managed, “I didn’t want this.”
Master Kyler hugged her tight. “I know, sweetie.”
She stared at the stone dungeon wall and clung to him. He didn’t seem to mind her tears dampening his T-shirt. She couldn’t get away from the horror of what Aidan was going through … all alone.
No matter how warm Kyler’s arms were, they weren’t the arms she wanted wrapped around her, and she ached for Aidan. “Is he okay?”
“He’s fine,” Kyler said with a low, deadly edge. “No more talking about Aidan tonight. Close your eyes.” He squeezed his arms around her, as if he would never let go. “Think of this moment and that I don’t want to be anywhere else but with you.”
Chapter Twenty-four
Aidan entered Club Sin with one intent: Find Cora.
He spotted her in the center of the dungeon, as if she’d been tonight’s entertainment. Spotlights beamed down on her, making her flesh glitter under the light. He glanced around the dimly lit club, seeing no one else in the dungeon.
Odd, though he didn’t care.
Cora had been bound to an office desk. Her legs were wrapped with crimson-colored ropes, so her thighs pressed against her torso. Then the rope ran down the desk legs and held firm. Her hands rested at each corner of the desk and her wrists were bound in a similar fashion to the front legs of the desk. Her long hair hung off the edge of the desk.
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