by Jenna Brandt
They arrived at the church and Nathan gave Faith a hug. “Enjoy your time. I look forward to sampling your new recipes. I’ll pick you up after it ends.” After releasing her, Nathan headed towards the back of the church to the pastor’s office.
Faith wondered what her brother planned to do. His focus remained on Hope as he stated, “I suppose I need to be heading over to the general store. Would you like me to come back after your meeting is over to walk you home?”
Hope nodded with a smile. “That would be lovely.”
As the women entered the church, the middle of the room was thick with the townswomen preparing for the swap. There was noise from the different women talking to one another. The pews lined the back wall and square tables sat in the center in two lines facing each other. The other women claimed the majority of the tables, but there was one empty one at the end of the far row.
Faith and Hope made their way over to the vacant spot. Faith opened the tapestry bag with their table decorations and placed the basic light pink tablecloth across their table. Next, she put a small bouquet of wildflowers in the middle of their table.
As Faith looked around the room, she noticed several other tables were covered with more decorations than she had brought. Several had tablecloths in various rich colors, coordinating table runners if they had them, and multiple flower arrangements and candles. The women seemed to have used what little fine items they had left to decorate their tables.
Her eyes fell to her own spot, and she felt a drop in her stomach. She should have put more thought into it, but she had been preoccupied with Nathan’s return. It didn’t help that there wasn’t much left in their home to use. Faith had decided against asking Hope, as she was dealing with a lot with her family, not to mention they had even less than the Abernathys. She hoped her friend wouldn’t be upset with what she had brought.
“I didn’t bring adequate embellishments to keep up with everyone else,” Faith confessed.
Hope rolled her eyes. “Don’t be upset with yourself over it. There was no way we could compete with Sarah, Susan and Wendy anyway.” Hope leaned towards Faith and added, “Besides, all of this seems so frivolous with all our men fighting in the war. Don’t get caught up in their competitive nonsense.”
Faith nodded, then looked across at the tables of the women Hope named. Sure enough, their tables were the most extravagant.
As all the ladies finished the final touches to their tables and added their stacks of recipes, Virginia Howell, the pastor’s wife, made her way to the center of the room. As she raised her hand in the air, everyone quieted down for her to speak in her friendly Southern accent.
“Welcome ladies. It’s so wonderful to see all of you. I’m excited to receive delicious, new recipes.” Mrs. Howell gave a pointed stare at a few tables. “I see the table decorating has become exceptional this month. I’d like to remind all of you, we’re doing this to support our men who are fighting against the tyranny of the north. God would want us to take part with a spirit of camaraderie. Please keep that in mind.”
There were a few murmurs as several of the women crossed their arms and sullen expressions took possession of their faces. Guilty consciences perhaps?
Mrs. Howell replaced her admonishing look with a bright smile. “Let’s get this evening under way. Enjoy the samples from last month’s recipes on the refreshment table and happy swapping.”
After Faith and Hope placed their recipes at their spot, they made their way from table to table, picking up a set of recipes from each of the other women. Only a few minutes had passed when Faith heard raised voices next to her. She turned her attention toward the commotion.
“I can’t believe you did this, Sarah. I told you in confidence I was swapping a meatless stew recipe,” Wendy accused, as she shook a recipe card in her friend’s face.
“You think just because you brought a stew recipe, Wendy, no one else can make something similar?” With an irritated shrug, Sarah stated, “I wanted to make a soup for the upcoming change in seasons, so I did.”
The argument was escalating into a full-blown fight as Wendy placed her hands on her hips. “You may call it a soup but it’s the exact recipe I had you sample earlier this week for my stew.” Sarah tried to move away, but Wendy reached out and grabbed her by the arm. “I had plans to enter it in the county fair once the war is over. You know because I told you.”
Sarah pulled away and stated, “I don’t remember you saying that.”
With a narrowed glare, Wendy shouted, “Don’t act forgetful. That might work with your husband, but it won’t with me. You stole my recipe because you knew how good it had turned out.”
“Why not let everyone else decide which one is better? They can try both recipes and then we'll know who created the best one.” Moving back to her table, Sarah sat down in the chair behind it. “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I’ll swap whatever recipe I want. There is nothing you can do about it.”
Apparently, Wendy thought there was something she could do as she grabbed up Sarah’s pile of recipes and started ripping them apart. Sarah jumped to her feet and reached across the table to pull them from her grasp. The women were pulling back and forth with the stack of recipes between them.
“Ladies, that is enough!” Mrs. Howell commanded with authority. “You will not behave like this in the house of the Lord.” Stepping between them, she reached out and took the recipes from the women. With a chiding whisper, she stated, “You both should be ashamed of yourselves behaving like this.”
The rebuke worked. Both women stepped back and their heads sagged towards the floor.
Mrs. Howell addressed the group. “The only way to fix the problem is to remove both recipes from this month’s swap. I want to recommend, as we go forward, if you share your intentions with anyone before the swap, do so at your own risk.”
After the fight ended, the room settled down into a normal rhythm and several people commented on Faith’s recipes, saying they couldn’t wait to try them out. The one she looked forward to trying most was for substituting okra seeds for coffee beans. If she carefully parched them and then used them to make coffee in the usual way, it would replicate coffee in color as well as have a very pleasant taste, according to Bonnie, who had brought the recipe.
Faith was grateful for all the new dishes she could cook for Nathan and her family over the next month, as well as some time where she didn’t have to think about the war or what it was doing to her life.
Chapter 14
Pastor Howell greeted Nathan with a grin as he reached out and patted Nathan on the back. “Come in, come in.”
Though the office was small, it had room for a bookshelf, two chairs and a desk. Nathan followed the pastor over to the chairs where the elderly man gestured for Nathan to sit down next to him.
“Glad to see you kept your appointment with me. I half expected you to cancel the way you reacted on Sunday to my invitation.”
“I considered it, but something occurred to cause me to realize I need to work through what transpired while I was in the military.”
“You mean, while you were a prisoner,” Pastor Howell clarified.
Nathan stiffened and forced himself not to react. He needed to confront what happened to move past it, but every time he thought about his experience in the Union prison, he felt like he was sinking into an endless crater of darkness.
When Nathan didn’t respond, Pastor Howell inquired, “What caused you to change your mind about coming here today?”
Nathan crossed his arms against his chest. “We had dinner over at the Hammonds’ home Sunday night.”
Pastor Howell rubbed his brown beard, then shook his head. “Let me guess, Luke Hammond wasn’t exactly hospitable.”
“To say the least. It made me realize I don’t want to end up like that. I want to marry Faith and start our future together.”
“Which means, you need to make peace with your past,” Pastor Howell stated plainly. “I’m guessing, it’s compou
nded by your previous time in the military.”
As Nathan rolled his shoulders, he averted his eyes. “Yes, I have immense guilt over what I did the first time I served in the military, but that has nothing to do with what I’m going through now.”
“Doesn’t it? Guilt clouds our ability to accept the truth. God has forgiven all of our trespasses, yet we still hold on to our wrongdoings. It’s hard to accept sometimes, but we don’t have to punish ourselves over the poor choices we have made. God wants to free us from our pain and guilt.”
Nathan continued to stare at the ground in front of him. He didn’t have the courage to look Pastor Howell in his eyes. “Easy to say if you’re dealing with minor mistakes like stealing an apple or calling someone a name, but the things I’ve done, Pastor Howell, are unforgivable. I’ve spent the last couple of years trying to live a good life to make up for what I did while trying not to think about it. Just when I thought I might be able to put it behind me, I was taken because of it. What I went through while they held me captive, it made me live it all over again.”
Pastor Howell reached out and patted Nathan’s arm. “That’s just it, Nathan, you don’t need to make up for it. God has already paid the wages for it.”
“Then why won’t the guilt go away?”
“Because you haven’t forgiven yourself. Until you do, it never will.”
This time, Nathan’s head popped up and his eyes met Pastor Howell’s kind, blue gaze. Nathan could see the compassion the older man reflected.
With an understanding look, Pastor Howell posed a question. “Is it possible, part of you believes you deserved what happened to you while you were imprisoned?”
The thought had never occurred to Nathan. Was it conceivable his guilt caused him to feel like he hadn’t deserved to have God intervene and save him? If that was the case, it would explain why the guilt wouldn’t go away.
“Pastor Howell, it's possible you're right. I haven’t made peace with my past, which means I can’t move forward with my future. Do you mind praying with me to help me find a way?”
“I'm glad you understand the need for prayer, Nathan. We should continue to meet. This is a safe place for you to talk, and anything you say stays just between the two of us.”
Nathan was grateful he had someone he could confide in about all he had gone through. He needed to trust the Lord with his whole heart, even the parts he had kept buried deep inside.
Chapter 15
Sudden shouting from the church entrance echoed through the room. All the women looked to see what was happening.
"You can't keep me out, Virginia. I know my daughter is in there and I demand you let me go find her."
Oh-no, it was Mr. Hammond; poor Hope. How was she going to handle this? He sounded drunk and belligerent.
Faith watched in horror as Mr. Hammond hobbled past Mrs. Howell in a huff, and over to Faith and Hope's table. His words slurred as he spoke. "There you are, Hope. I thought I made it clear I didn't want you involved in any more of these events. This war has already taken enough from us and our family isn't giving one more ounce for it. You need to follow me out of here this instant," Mr. Hammond commanded.
Hope turned bright red. "Father, you’re embarrassing me."
"I don't care if I'm embarrassing you," Mr. Hammond's eyes narrowed as he spat out. "You defied my orders and I’ll not have it."
"You're mistaken, Father. You never told me not to come," Hope insisted.
"Don't you dare contradict me! I know what I said.” He moved around the table and grabbed Hope by the wrist, causing her to flinch and let out a small cry.
Faith’s eyes grew round with fear. Unnoticed, she moved away to go get Nathan from the church office. The townswomen needed a man to deal with Mr. Hammond. As she slipped out of the door of the church, she rushed down the stairs. Before she could turn the corner towards the back though, she heard Davis inquire, "What are you doing out here? Is everything all right?"
With a shake of her head, Faith stated, "No, everything is far from all right. I was going to get Nathan because Mr. Hammond is inside and causing a scene with Hope."
"How bad is it?"
"He's drunk and doesn't realize he's hurting her."
Davis charged past Faith towards the church entrance. As Faith followed behind her brother, she pressed, "What are you going to do?"
"I can take care of it."
“I realize you care about Hope, but should you get involved?"
Faith was worried her brother might get hurt, or worse, hurt Mr. Hammond. No good would come from either act happening.
"Someone has to, and I'm as good as anyone. Besides, I'm not about to let anything happen to Hope." His protectiveness over her friend proved to Faith she had assumed right about what was going on between her brother and best friend. Davis certainly had feelings for Hope.
As they entered the church, Mr. Hammond still had Hope by the wrist, and was yelling at her about her behavior. Hope's eyes were downcast, and she looked like she wanted to melt away on the spot.
Davis walked up to them and gently placed his hand on the elderly man’s shoulder. "Mr. Hammond, this event is for the women in town. Why don't I take you home?"
Mr. Hammond let go of Hope and turned his attention to Davis. "I'm not sure how any of this is your business."
"I never said it was, but your shouting is disrupting the event. It's best if you leave."
With an angry shrug, Mr. Hammond snapped, "I’ll be glad to leave just as soon as my obstinate daughter agrees to leave with me. She shouldn't have come to this ridiculous gathering in the first place. She’s going home with me, now!" Mr. Hammond grabbed Hope’s wrist a second time and attempted to pull her towards the door. He stumbled slightly, barely catching himself before he fell.
Hope’s eyes grew round with fear, causing Davis to interject. "Can't you see you're upsetting your daughter?"
"I don't care if she's upset. It's her own fault for coming here."
Davis reached out and removed Mr. Hammond's hand from his daughter. "She shouldn't go with you in your current condition. I can bring her home after the swap concludes."
"How dare you, boy! I can tell you’re trying to impress my girl. It's obvious you're sweet on her, but let me remind you, you’ll need my blessing to pursue her. You lost any chance of that tonight."
"You have no inkling of my motives, Mr. Hammond. I simply want to keep Hope safe."
"Are you implying she isn't safe with me? I'm her father for goodness' sake!" Mr. Hammond bellowed.
"Then act like it," Davis asserted with audible irritation.
Mr. Hammond dropped Hope's wrist and looked at her. "Do I make you feel unsafe?"
"I wish it weren’t true, but yes, Father, you make me feel unsafe when you're like this."
A momentary expression of hurt flashed across Mr. Hammond's face before he shook his head and stumbled towards the exit, mumbling under his breath about ungratefulness.
Once he left the premise, Faith turned to face her friend. With concern, she rushed towards Hope and lifted her wrist to inspect it. "Are you harmed?”
"I'm fine," Hope pulled her wrist free and hid it behind her back. "Humiliated but fine."
"Don't be. No one here blames you for your father's actions," Davis insisted.
"I shouldn't have come. I should’ve known it would upset him,” Hope whispered, with a dejected look on her face.
"You can't live your life to appease him,” Faith stated with frustration. “No matter what you do, it won’t be enough until he deals with what happened to him.”
As she said the words, Faith realized she was talking as much about Nathan as she was Mr. Hammond. Nathan needed to deal with what happened to him too, but he couldn’t seem to find a way to do it. Silently, Faith sent up a prayer for both men.
Hope looked around the room as she pressed her lips together. Giving Faith a tearful look, she whispered, "I don't want to be here anymore. Everyone is watching me."
&nbs
p; "Why don't we go over to the café. I’ll get us a cup of coffee and dessert," Davis offered.
"Thank you," Hope whispered as she extended her hand to him, which he took and placed on his arm. Once they left the room, Faith moved back over to the table and sat down. She hadn’t even realized it, but her own body had nearly given out from fright.
A few minutes later, Faith’s mother, sister, and grandmother arrived and joined her at her table. She hugged them, saying, “I’m so glad you are all here. Tonight has been dreadful.”
“What happened?” Her mother asked with concern.
Faith filled them in on what transpired before heading over to the refreshment table to grab her family some treats. She grabbed a small plate and picked up a few samples of flourless pastries, meatless appetizers and molasses cookies. She also poured herself a cup of sugarless lemonade.
Before she headed back to the table, Faith nibbled on one of the cookies. As usual, it tasted delicious. The women in Myrtle Grove sure knew how to cook and bake, even without the help of commonly used ingredients.
As she looked around the room, she realized how lucky she was to be a part of a close-knit community. Faith enjoyed spending time with the other women from her town and there was always something for which she could volunteer or get involved. It helped keep her mind off the problems in her life, even if it was only a temporary reprieve.
“Why have you been standing here by yourself for so long?” Bonnie pried as she ambled up to Faith.
“I was just taking a break.”
“Oh, dear, are you having a hard time because of all that is going on with you and Nathan?”
Faith’s head jerked towards Bonnie as her eyes narrowed in annoyance. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s obvious Nathan hasn’t been the same since he returned home,” she leaned towards Faith and whispered, “after those degenerate Union mercenaries took him captive.”