I stopped and took out my Mallet and when my ‘Romeo’ came running up, desiring to envelop me in his embrace, I let him have it with the Mallet flush on his head, adding for good measure: “Yuck—what a monster.” Fleita doubled over laughing, while the goblin received the ‘Flirting’ buff, upon which all three status effects united into one larger one: ‘Love.’
I had attained my goal.
“Argh, what a beauty!” the goblin’s red eyes turned dark, meaning that this mob had ceased to aggro.
“If anyone kills this mob,” I yelled to my audience, warning the players, “he will become my personal nemesis! And if I assemble another group for a foray in the future, I certainly won’t invite him! This is my mob that I need for a quest!”
Since the viewing public had already climbed over the fence, wishing to get closer to the spectacle, it stood to reason that there would be several dimwits among their number who would kill the goblin simply because they had the chance—so I figured a warning was in order. It’d be useless to try to scare them with the Sword of Damocles—i.e. Plinto—whereas banning them from future adventures would actually mean something to them. Since the public is recording video, they know who I am, which means they know what I’ve been up to.
“What’s a beauty like you doing in a hole like Malabar?” the goblin started up again, politely having waited until I’d done yelling at the bystanders.
“I’m looking for a true warrior worthy of my love!” It was hard to speak in a high-pitched voice, but I did my best.
“Me! I’m a true warrior! I defeated the Bloody Greemik, vanquished Lastirans and thrice took first place in my tribe for cleaning duties! My earring is the biggest, my staff is the hardest and longest among all the Shaman goblins. I’m that warrior that will have your love!”
“Why how can I love you if you keep pestering this town with your rats? What warrior would fight an old granny?”
“Oh great beauty! Don’t believe your eyes! That monster you call a granny is a terrible witch! My tribe has a leader—the vile witch poisons his life! I am a great warrior. We’ve killed the old hag many times, but she continues to live! Every week she returns from the Gray Lands and does her black magic. My chieftain is ailing more and more, but we do what we can.”
“We?”
“Me and my brothers from the tribe. Every week one of us is killed, but we must do as our chieftain commands—the granny must die! If we attack during the time of the sun, then at night the old woman goes to sleep and we kill her!”
“What do you need rats for though?”
“The witch is very clever and powerful. If she doesn’t kill one of us, we can’t get to her! The rats force her to bring Free Citizens who kill one of us and allow the rest to creep up to her at night. It was my time to die, but I have met my one true love and now I want to live!”
“Yes, truly you are a great warrior and I can love you,” I told the goblin, and even stroked him between the ears—and with my Mallet smacked his hand which had begun to reach for my uh, let’s say, softer areas. “But you must prove that you are as great as you say you are. I want to speak with your chieftain. Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to help him…will you let him know?”
“Of course, oh beauty, I will let him immediately. I have to run, but…What about the witch?”
“I will deal with her, don’t worry!”
A look of immense happiness appeared on the goblin’s mug. He hopped up to kiss me—I managed to turn away in time and his kiss landed on my cheek—and then he vanished. Why look at that! There goes yet another Harbinger just wandering around and I’m not even aware of it!
“Mahan, my quest has been updated,” said Fleita in Kartossian as soon as the goblin vanished. “I need to see the old lady and ask her some questions about witchcraft…Mahan…will you go with me? I’m sorry I behaved like an idiot…I realize that I said a bunch of things I shouldn’t have and that I was mean, but…Can I be your student again?”
“What—to finish driving me insane?”
“But I apologized!”
“That’s what I’m talking about…”
“Why, you no good…!” Fleita began cursing. I’d never imagine that such a young lady could be such a repository of crude expressions!
“Let’s do it this way—we will deal with the granny together and then decide what we’ll do about your being my student. Just send me the quest…”
Quest received: “Rat-catcher. Continuation.” Description: You have spoken with the Ratherd and discovered that the old lady is a witch who is cursing the Ratherd leader with various ailments. Solve this issue with her. Quest type: Rare. Reward: +200 Reputation with Kartoss, –200 Reputation with Malabar, +600 Experience. Restrictions: Only for subjects of the Kartoss Empire or players from Malabar who have reached Friendly status with the Dark Lord.
Ta-da! A rare Kartossian quest found only in Malabar lands! Just sign on the dotted line!
“Does that mean that the first quest you received is gone?”
“No. It’s marked completed. When I said the quest was updated, I didn’t look in the right place—here it says ‘Continuation,’ do you see?”
“Yeah, I see, I see…Do you understand what this means?”
“Uh…No…should I?”
“It means that the Ratherds are the servants of some guy from Kartoss who is causing trouble in Malabar!”
“And so what? I’m from Kartoss after all.”
“But I’m not!”
“Oh—did you kill the rats already?” The granny approached us, interrupting our exchange in Kartossian and waving her arms happily. “And the Ratherd, curse his stars, was he here too?”
“He was, but he’s gone now,” I assured the old lady. “The Zombie scared him so much that he said he won’t set foot here again.”
“Oh I understand him very well. I all but went to meet Eluna when I first laid eyes on Fleita. To imagine what terrible black magic was used to raise someone from the dead and instill them with reason! Pure terror, no less! But I won’t go back on my word—I gave you the quest, and I’ll give you the reward for its completion…”
“Madame,” I stopped the old lady as she was about to head off. “Could you be so kind as to treat us weary travelers to some tea? We’re so tired after our rat catching that we can hardly move our feet. Some tea would help us immensely…”
Since I had Exalted status with the Province as well as various buffs that increased my Attractiveness, the old crone could hardly refuse me. Or so I thought…
“Oh no! I haven’t cleaned the house. There’s dust everywhere…and there’s no tea! It wouldn’t do to invite an Earl into a hovel like mine. So, please forgive me, your highness, but I can’t treat you to tea…And anyway, you should wash up. Green make-up is unbecoming for an Earl…”
“Stacey, hi! I really need your help.”
“What’s up?”
“There’s this NPC that I need to convince to invite me in for a chat. I’ll share the quest with you when you show up. Are you at Friendly status with the Dark Lord?”
“Like you need to ask! So you’re in Kartoss?”
“That’s the point—I’m in Lestran…”
“Summon me!”
“Greetings!” sang Anastaria to the old lady in a voice so sweet that thousands of players would have gone mad hearing it. It took the girl several seconds to familiarize herself with the quest, make up her mind and put her plan into action. “Would you be so kind as to show me your teacup collection, Agrippina Dormidina? I’ve been dreaming of seeing it my entire life!”
“You look great by the way, Dan! Green really suits your complexion well!”
“Oh daughter—you should first recover your lost powers before trying to manipulate people! And even then, know who you’re dealing with before trying!” the granny replied and, even as she spoke, she transformed to the point that I hardly recognized her. Despite her age, it seemed like the NPC standing next to us now was incredibly mighty
and had some special skill that forced players to cower in fear before her. The Emperor, the Dark Lord, the High Priestess had this ability—as did this seemingly ordinary village granny, who respawned weekly.
You should have seen Anastaria’s face. Her impenetrable mask twitched, revealing for a moment bafflement with a touch of shock. Stacey was at a loss…
“Please forgive me oh High Priestess. I was blind.” In a flash, the girl bent her knee and bowed her head penitently.
“Oh come now, come now! I left that post a very long time ago, passing it on to a younger and more energetic Priestess. It was oh so very long ago…All right, let it be. I’ll invite you in for some tea. But let me be very clear—that Zombie won’t set foot in my house! I’ll burn her alive…er, undead!”
“Dan…I don’t know what to say…but oh do I love you! You’ve dug up the High Priestess of Eluna who abandoned her post fifty years ago…This is none other than Elizabeth’s mentor!”
Chapter Eight. Return to Narlak
“WHERE DID you guys find a Zombie anyway?” Agrippina asked as she poured us some tea. The granny met my offer to help her make some tea with a sly smile and an astonishing familiarity with the consequences of adding liquor to tea. Telling me to go wash off the green paint, the old lady hauled the water herself and brewed her own tea.
“She’s my student,” I replied. I had returned to my typical human guise, picked up my cup and got comfortable in my chair. Agrippina’s house turned out to be very comfortable and done up in hues of blue. Even the several houseplants on the windowsills had blue flowers.
“Who has ever heard of a Dragon taking a Zombie as his student?” Our host raised her eyebrows is surprise, and turned to the girl: “Anastaria—why didn’t you intervene?”
To my surprise, Fleita reacted quite normally to being barred from the house. If she was offended, she didn’t let it show. I sent her to the Milkman to discuss the broken door—since Draco had knocked it down, it was up to me to reimburse him.
“My husband is a mysterious being,” Anastaria replied with a smile, avoiding for now the main subject of our conversation. Oh how tired I am of all this etiquette! Until you’ve spent a few hours discussing the weather, no one will get to the business at hand.
“What’s true is true,” Agrippina agreed. “Daughter, you are the only Warrior of Light to become a Paladin Captain in the past five years. I’ve met some Lieutenants, but no Captains yet…I’m curious to see how far you will go in your service.”
“In three months I will have my trial to receive the rank of General,” Anastaria replied, surprising both the old woman and me. Such seminal progress through her class was quite a thing! Although…No, I won’t consider my own progress here—it’s just me after all.
“So it’s like that, huh? Have you been to Eluna’s Chambers?”
“That was where I did my training to become a Captain and prepared for General rank. Eluna gave me time to get used to my new powers, but this Heart of Chaos…”
“Yes, that Geranika has lost his marbles completely…”
“You know Geranika?” Anastaria asked with some surprise.
“Why, who doesn’t know that Shaman? Just because I live in a village doesn’t mean I don’t keep up with world affairs. I know all about Geranika, as well as Mahan’s creation of the recipe for the Stones of Light. I haven’t turned senile quite yet…”
“The Ratherd called you a witch.” I grew tired of going in circles and decided to guide the conversation to the topic at hand. “He even gave us a quest to solve this problem…”
“A quest?!” the granny threw up her hands dramatically. “What else would you expect from a goblin?”
“Dan, don’t rush things. Let me work on her a bit…”
“Please forgive my husband’s impatience,” Stacey took a hold of the conversation. “He’s tired from his battle with the rats. The goblins wanted us to resolve the issue with you. I am naturally outraged that my husband negotiated with the Kartossians instead of destroying them outright. However…as I mentioned, he is a special person.”
“Sorry, Stacey, what do you mean you’re ‘outraged?’”
“Just help me out here, Dan. If I call you an earthworm, you’ll need to crawl on the floor. You’ve stumbled on a rare quest and we can’t fail it. Try to be more open-minded to what I say!”
“You’re a bit mean…”
“Mean but loving…”
“To resolve the issue…” Agrippina echoed. “So his affairs are so bad that he’s even willing to use someone else to fix things?”
“Please forgive me, mother, but is there some way we can help you?” To my surprise, Anastaria dropped the topic of the goblin and steered the conversation in the direction of a new quest.
“No,” the old lady shook her head, “you two can’t. Perhaps you on your own can help, but your husband can’t. He has too much…I don’t even know how to describe it…wants and desires. Impulsiveness.”
“Teacher?” the vision of Fleita that appeared in my mind was so unexpected that I said her name out loud. “Teacher—I found the one who sends the Ratherds to the old lady. It’s the Milkm—Oh!”
The vision vanished and was followed by such a wave of sharp pain that I fell out of my chair and doubled over on the floor. Though it didn’t last very wrong, it took a while for the pain to dissipate and fade. My sight went dark and a metallic taste filled my mouth. When I regained my ability to see and think, a notification had appeared before me:
Your student summoned the Air Communication Spirit. Under the teacher-student rules, you have received 30% of discomfort felt by your student. We request that you remind your student to follow the rules…
“Is everything all right with you, Mahan?” Anastaria asked anxiously out loud. It seemed that my convulsions had jammed our telepathic link.
“I need to get to Fleita,” I wheezed getting to my feet. “My student…”
“Not out loud Dan. I understand—she’s contacted you with a Spirit and channeled a portion of her pain to you. But…okay, go find her. I’ll wrap it up here with Agrippina and then go force the Corporation to explain why the hell they’re allowing such a link to exist between players. The teacher-student rules only apply to NPCs and players, not between two players.”
“You know about that?”
“I’ve taught three NPCs. Trust me, I’m well acquainted with this issue. That’s it—go!”
Even though they were neighbors, there were about forty meters separating Agrippina’s and the Milkman’s houses, so it took me about a minute to reach my destination. The door that Draco had torn down was already back in its place and bore no indication that something had recently happened to it. I paused before it, considering whether I should enter without knocking or be polite—when it opened and the Happy Milkman cast me a suspicious glance.
“Are you alone?” he asked with surprise. “Where are the guards?”
“There won’t be any guards,” I replied calmly. “How is Fleita?”
“She’s alive and sleeping at the moment. I didn’t wish to disturb her.”
“She’s sleeping?” I asked surprised. Fleita was not a prisoner and would most likely log out if she felt pain, not sleep.
“Come in, since you’re here,” the Milkman stepped back allowing me to enter and instantly see the girl: Fleita’s transparent projection was lying on the couch in the living room. My student had logged out of the game after all. However, following the quest requirements, she would return to the Milkman’s house instead of to my side. By the way, we still hadn’t gotten around to binding ourselves to each other…
“I never imagined that a Beginner Shaman could summon a Spirit of Communication,” Amir said pensively, looking at the girl. From his perspective, she hadn’t gone anywhere but merely fallen asleep—and that sleep could last five minutes until Fleita came to again as well as the rest of his life if she decided to stay out of Barliona for good. It was at this moment that I realized th
at the Corporation had officially confirmed that she was my student. It remained to be seen what Anastaria would uncover—but until her trial, Fleita was my student. It’s odd—I wonder why they decided to agree to this considering I’m a prisoner.
“So what happened?” I sat down at the table where we had taken our tea so recently without being invited and cast a glance at the Milkman. “Fleita shared with me the quest to resolve the issue with Agrippina.”
“You’re not from Kartoss,” muttered Amir, taking a seat beside me.
“True, but I know the Dark Lord quite well.” Opening my Reputation stats, I sent a link to the Milkman. “I won’t start hollering ‘Help! Save me! Guards!’ until I’ve gotten to the bottom of what’s going on. Please start with the cows. Why do they keep running away from you?”
“Because the stupid creatures can’t stand being near an Incubus.” It seems that these words were difficult for Amir to say because his face grew very grim. Maybe he expected me to jump up and start dashing around his house screaming my head off. Weird bunch, these NPCs.
“So your pretty storry about the butter was just that, a fairy tale?” I asked calmly, thereby deeply shocking the Milkman.
“I am forbidden from lying. The Master who summoned me a hundred years ago, bound me to speak only the truth…But he granted me the freedom to determine which truth I told.”
“Who is your master then?”
“I will pretend like I didn’t hear your question. Otherwise, I would have to attack and kill you. The master is long since playing with the cherubim in the gardens of Tartarus. Accordingly, a portion of his orders have waned in power. Still, there is no need to test them, Dragon.”
“I understand…Amir, I would like to hear the full tale of how you came to Lestran, or that part of it which you are free to tell,” I added, noticing that the Incubus had tensed up.
“Very well. I will try to satisfy your curiosity…The gist of my tale remains the same. A merchant brought some butter with a unique flavor to Cadis. I really did buy some, but not for me—rather for my master’s descendant. I have been serving his house for hundreds of years. And I really did advertise the butter’s heavenly taste until the Mayor himself was my acquaintance. But my master’s descendants turned out to be weak, will-less and petty people…They ruined the shipment by putting it out into the sun and relishing the sight of the butter melting away into the earth. Even this was not enough because then they cleared out the rest of what was in the cellar. They drank the wine and tossed the meats to the dogs. When the town guard came to me with the Mayor’s request for the butter, I had nothing to give him…Everything had been ruined. The city council exiled my master’s descendants from Cadis—and me too among their number. My house was sold for next to nothing—and then the most terrifying thing came to pass: I was rejected. I gained my liberty. I spent several years wandering the world, stumbling from town to town, until I encountered the Ratherds in the Free Lands. These goblins were so hounded, so tattered, that I took pity on them and became their leader. The slave had become the master. A year later the Magister contacted me with an offer to settle near Carnue. Kartoss had certain designs on this territory—I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you about them. Either way, to put the plans in effect, I had to kill an old lady. And moreover I had to do so with another’s hands so that nothing would point to Kartoss’s involvement. The deadline I had to do this has long passed. I already received a letter from the Magister stating that he was disappointed in me—and yet I have nothing better to do with my life…So this is what I do. My cows flee constantly. I ask the Free Citizens to find them as a form of entertainment. And later I send my Ratherds to my neighbor’s vegetable garden. I don’t have anything further to add…I was happy when this Kartossian girl appeared. I told her about my task here, but she summoned a Spirit of Communication and then fainted.”
The Karmadont Chess Set (The Way of the Shaman: Book #5) LitRPG series Page 23