“Babe?”
“White flag,” she said through her tears.
She never let go of my hand, but I knew something was different. The “white flag” thing was meant to be about our pasts, not our present. The last thing I wanted was for Lark to hurt. I got it. I knew there were a lot of years between them. I tried not to jump to conclusions, but I couldn’t help but think she wasn’t over him.
It was dark by the time we got back. I thought she might need some space, so I went to take a shower and told her we could go out to eat or order something… whatever she felt like.
Lark had left the window open in the bedroom for some fresh air. As I got dressed, I could hear her talking on the phone outside. And hear every single word, perfectly.
“She was even more beautiful in person… of course I’m upset, wouldn’t you be… I love Nico, you know that… this was in my face, Dee and… what?… He’s not like that… that was years ago, who told you that?… no, because I trust him… I didn’t think about it that way, but…”
I closed the window, got dressed, grabbed a beer, and sat in my chair. When she finally came in, she sat on the couch across from me.
“I’m sorry, Nico… I—”
“If this is the part where you tell me you’re just not ready yet or you were wrong or you’re not sure anymore or whatever the fuck you’re about to say… don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”
“No, you asshole,” she said, beginning to cry. “That is totally not what I was going to say.”
Still in asshole-mode, I didn’t even bother to comfort her. “And?”
“And I was going to say thank you for being so incredibly cool today. You displayed some super-boyfriend behavior, but now you just undid it by being… What just happened here?” She wiped the tears from her face.
I hung my head and sat with my elbows on my knees, leaving the bottle on the coffee table. “Fuck.”
She went into the kitchen and grabbed the Crate and Barrel bags on her way. The sink was filled with soapy water, dishtowels were laid on the counter as she quietly unwrapped all the new glasses and plates, cleaned them, and began to put everything away, just how she wanted it, just how I wanted her to do.
We didn’t really argue or disagree. The more I thought about what I had overheard, she defended me to Dee and I behaved like an asshole. The truth? I was waiting for something to go wrong. In an effort to try to fix what I had just broken, I went into the bedroom, into the closet, and opened the box that my dress boots came in. I trusted Lark. I didn’t care if she went through my shit. But last week, I went to see the jeweler that made my necklace.
“So, you found someone worthy of the other tooth?” he asked.
“Yep.” I smiled.
“What’s her style?”
“Style?”
“What kind of jewelry does she wear now?”
I thought about it, and the best I could come up with was, “Classy Stevie Nicks?”
Again, he threw his head back with laughter and walked away. When he returned, he laid the tooth down and showed me his idea. I approved, and now it waited in the bottom of a box for a sign.
I walked up behind her and moved her hair to expose the back of her neck. “Babe?” I laid small kisses there, knowing how much it turned her on. She was still upset, I knew that, but she still reached one hand behind her and raked it through my hair. “I got you something,” I whispered in her ear.
She put the glass she was holding back in the water and touched her wet hand to the bottom of her throat, a strong, but delicate looking white gold necklace with a single white, round pearl encased in a matching gold setting held a solid link where the tooth dangled.
“I had four teeth pulled out of my leg that night. I was so lucky. Lucky to be alive, but I didn’t feel lucky. I felt lost. I was empty because there was no one else on God’s green earth that made me feel any kind of peace… until you.”
I moved my thumbs across her cheeks to wipe her tears that just wouldn’t stop now, but she was happy, and I knew it. “I’ve mentioned Dish to you, that girl from when I was a kid. She made me feel that way, but she’s just a memory.”
“What happened with her, Nico? I understand if you want to keep some things from me, some of the stories of your birds… you don’t have to tell me,” she said, wiping her eyes.
“The reason I don’t talk about it is because all these women, all the fucked up shit I listen to… it affects me, I feel it, yeah, but I wasn’t there. I’m just the guy that gives them the tattoo and listens to their stories. With Dish, I was there, Lark. I watched her pain happen.”
She cast her eyes down, not looking at me anymore.
“Babe? You all right?” I asked.
“I just… I totally understand. I… I understand.”
“You sure? You look like you saw a ghost?” I said and tipped up her chin. “Lark, you can talk to me. I’m sorry I was a dick before. I just—”
“You can’t always be perfect, Nico. It’s okay,” she said softly. “Finish your story.”
I took a breath and continued. “I almost stopped helping these women because it was too much, it left me empty, and I thought… when I find her, the woman who will make it all okay, give me that feeling of calm, of balance, I’m gonna give her that tooth, because she’ll know… she’ll know she saved me.”
“Yeah?” Her eyes filled with new tears.
“Yeah, babe.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead, “Two things, though, I think we really need to talk about. I understand why you used your white flag, but the first thing I thought was you were still in love with that dickhead.”
“Oh God, Nico, no—”
“Hang on. I heard you talking to Dee, which made that worse. I’m telling you now, nothing my mom or pop or anyone else says is ever going to affect the way I feel about you. Whatever shit goes down between us, it’s ours, not theirs. I love my folks, and I know they never would, but if they pulled whatever Dee was trying to tonight, that shit will not fly with me.”
Lark shook her head in agreement and explained. “She was the second friend I ever had. I tell her everything, and she’s just being overprotective. I let Shane do the thinking for me. He made me believe I wasn’t smart enough or pretty enough, and I let him, Nico. I let myself get cut down over the years until I second-guessed every thought, every decision, without his input first. And then, he left me. I had to find out who I was all over again, and Dee helped me do that. That and I’ve kept a diary since I could write. So I started to read it… to read them, actually.” She laughed.
“We have something in common,” I joked. “When did you start writing?”
“I’m sorry, Nico, but this is a real white flag moment for me. I can’t talk about this now,” she said, as her eyes spilled over.
I put my hand behind her neck and held her to my body. “You tell me when you’re ready. I don’t care when; I care that we’re together, babe. You get that?”
She nodded into my chest. “I get that. And thank you.”
“For what? I was a total asshole,” I stated.
“Loving me for me,” she said, staring right into my soul.
“Mind if I kiss you now?” I thought it was the right thing to do since it was a pretty heavy moment.
“Yes,” she replied.
“Yes, you mind?” I asked, confused.
She leaned up, and, with the tip of her tongue, she traced the side of my neck until she reached my earlobe and whispered, “I know you’ve been holding back.” She reached under my shirt and sunk her nails into my flesh. “Don’t.”
For a split second, I tried to decide how and where to fuck her first, until I asked, “Is this because of the necklace?”
“Partly,” she answered as she reached down and hurried to take off my belt.
“If this is your reaction to a necklace, what are you gonna do when I give you a ring?”
Her eyes became wide and bright with that statement. Suddenly, her hands grabbed t
he waistband of my jeans and boxers together as she answered, “Smother you with my vagina?”
I had just thrown my head back to laugh when she dropped to her knees. My clothes were now at my ankles. Her fingernails dug into the skin on my thighs as she took me deep into her mouth.
“Ah, fuck!” I hissed out and grabbed the counter behind me. “Babe…”
But she didn’t stop. She moved up and down my dick, doing that stroking thing with her tongue that alone could make me come. I thrust my hands into her hair, and this time, I didn’t hold back. I grabbed fistfuls and used it to move her head so I was now in control. I moved her back slowly, almost to the tip, then pulled her back down and watched her take me, all of me.
“Babe?” I said as I pulled her head back and off of me completely. “Go put on the grey skirt with the slit in the back.”
She sat on her heels and looked up at me. “Any other requests?” She grinned.
“Surprise me.”
I turned off the kitchen lights and lit a few candles around the room. While she got dressed, I rearranged the furniture just how I wanted it, just like in the fantasy I’d played out starring Lark and that skirt she’d worn to my folk’s place.
The blinds were all closed, the door locked, and the stereo on low. She stood there in shiny, black boots, but not the grey ones, she must have been saving these for a special occasion.
“New boots?” I asked.
“New boots,” she said in that low husky voice I loved. That was the voice that told me she wanted to be a little wild.
She had been in the bedroom for a while, not so long that I was worried, but long enough that I noticed, and now I knew why. Aside from those sexy fuckin’ boots and skirt was a full black corset, the kind that laced up the back and had those little hooks in the front. It did all kinds of amazing things to her already beautiful body.
“Fuck me, babe. You look fantastic.”
“I know.” She smiled with a raised eyebrow.
“And full of herself, too.” I laughed. “So, I want you to walk over to my big chair, and lean over the back with your ass facing me. Hold on to the top and stay bent over.”
She did as I requested. Lark couldn’t stop smiling, and neither could I. We weren’t Zack and Teensy, and actually, though I could see the appeal, I wouldn’t want that all the time, tying her up, me being tied up, safe words and all the rest. But this was perfect, I hoped for both of us.
I walked behind her and brushed my palm over her perfect round ass. “I love this fuckin’ skirt. You know, there was a moment at my folks, you were joking with my pop and leaned up to get something from the table and put this ass in this skirt in my face. Bit of a cock-tease, weren’t you?”
“Maybe a little bit,” she said, her voice full of need.
“Babe?”
“Yeah,” she replied.
“This ass is mine now.” I grinned, and I knew, even if I couldn’t see it, she was smiling, too.
“It sure is.” She laughed.
I rubbed over each cheek, then moved behind her, held my hands to the outside of her thighs, and moved up slowly along the open slit, my erect dick between her legs until it rested, right at the top. I pushed only a little into her wetness.
“No panties,” I stated.
“It ruins the lines,” she said offhandedly.
“Just my luck.” I took one hand away and gripped my dick, moving it from her wetness to just play a little with her other entrance. We’d done a little anal play, but not much. I was just too big for her, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. It wasn’t worth it. But when I slipped one finger upward where my dick had just been, I felt her shudder under me.
“Nico…” she begged.
“What is it, babe?” In that moment, I was the tease. I was going to make sure I took this bad fuckin’ day and turn it into something she would remember happily.
“You know what I want,” she moaned.
“Don’t move.” I walked away, into the kitchen, and dug into one of the bags. The store fuckin’ got me, what could I say. I was gonna barbeque in style next summer. But one thing my kitchen needed was a new spatula. Nice rubber handle, strong and wide, flat, heatproof silicon… perfect for what I wanted. I came back and rubbed over her left cheek, pulled away for that perfect first contact and…
Thwack!
“Oh!” She gasped, her hands gripped and tensed the leather under her. My girl, she fuckin’ loved it.
I rubbed the cheek with my palm and moved to the other.
Thwack!
“Ahh!” She threw her head back, her corset covered with a cascade of blonde, and I felt like I was the star of my own porn.
“Fuck, babe, you look hot.”
“Nico, a few more and then you better fuck me or I’m taking matters into my own hands.”
I got two in on each cheek in quick succession before I couldn’t stand it anymore. The spatula long forgotten, my dick about to explode, I ran my hands between her legs to find she was absolutely ready. “Jesus, Lark!”
I lifted her skirt and slid right into her tight pussy and fucked her while I fingered her ass right there in the middle of the living room. We both came quickly, but that only meant a change in position, both of us beyond worked up in that moment. I turned her around so her ass was on the back of the chair, her arms around my neck. I unhooked the top of the corset and grabbed her tits roughly. I bit and sucked each one as I lowered her onto my dick and started thrusting into her. Each movement building, harder and harder as her nails pulled against my flesh, for sure breaking the skin beneath. I had never fucked her this hard or this rough, because, she was right, I did hold back with her, but I was wrong to ever assume anything with Lark. She was my match in every way, and while we both came in unison, me yelling and her screaming my name, she grabbed my arm by the elbow, brought my bicep to her mouth and bit into my skin.
“Oh my good Lord,” she said trying to catch her breath.
“Jesus, babe, you’re an animal.” I was stunned, not only that, I was still hard and ready to go again.
“I have over six years of boring vanilla sex to erase. Let me just have something to drink and we’ll do it again?” She tried to move off of me, but I grabbed her and held her, my hard dick still buried inside her warmth.
“Lark…” I said it quietly. I didn’t want the moment to be about sex. I wanted it to be about our connection. “I meant what I said about a ring. I am going to marry you. I’m going to fill that belly of yours with a baby. I’m gonna watch you grow more beautiful each year of our lives until I take my last breath on this earth. I love you, Lark.”
She never got that glass of water. We made love, slept and made love again, until I left a sleeping Lark in our bed. I dressed, grabbed my journal and went to the front porch.
Chapter 14
Dear Dish –
It’s 4am.
So much happened today, I don’t even know where to start. What I do know, I saw another side of Lark tonight. She let herself go with me sexually and I hadn’t realized I’d been holding back, as well. It just proved to me that I…
“Nico? What are you doing out here?” She was wrapped up in one of her huge quilts.
“Come here, babe.” I held out my arms and tossed the journal to my feet.
She moved into my arms and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I replied too quickly and kissed her forehead, closing my eyes in contentment.
“Nico, I can tell when you’re lying,” she said. “You didn’t like it.” Her voice was on the verge of tears.
“Like what?”
“Me… us… tonight.” She turned her head to meet my eyes.
“Oh, babe. No, tonight was… it was incredible. I loved every minute of it.” I let my fingers glide across the soft skin of her face. “It just reminded me of who I used to be. I already fucked up once today. I don’t want to do anything that’s going to make you change your mind.”
She shifted h
er body weight, and with it was a shift in her mood. The girl about to cry in front of me sat almost defiant. Her shoulders set back, like she was bracing herself for a fight.
“Nico, I want you to listen to me and listen good. Before Shane, I was different. I was wild, I told you that, but I was also careless. I could have been raped and murdered so many times just from being an idiot. You could call it teenage rebellion, but it was more than that. I had serious trust issues. Those issues started a long time ago. I thought that even if I found a guy that said he loved me, he was probably lying.”
“Lark, I am not lying—”
“I don’t feel that way now,” she interrupted. “I’ve seen the eyes of a bad man, shared a house with him, and watched from a corner of the room while he pretty much killed my mother. You never forget those eyes. I look at you and all I see reflected back at me is love. It took me four years to share that with Shane. You know what he asked me after I told him?”
I shrugged. I couldn’t answer. She was telling me about her past. I never expected it, not in the middle of the night after such a crazy-ass day, but I couldn’t let her see that on the inside, I was screaming for her.
“He asked me if I still talk to my dad. I mean, I get it, he wanted to know where he was, maybe to make sure I was safe or something, even though I had already told him my parents were dead. But if you told me, ‘Yeah, my friend died, he was murdered.’ The first thing I would say is, ‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry.’ He didn’t get it, he never got it. Shane had no empathy, and when I looked in his eyes after I shared my history with him, I only saw pity.”
I pulled the blanket open so I could hold her hands. “Lark, I don’t know what to say. Jesus, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Nico. An overprotective relative and a run-in with an asshole ex… I don’t spook that easily.” She stood up and held the blanket closed with one hand. “Come back to bed with me.”
I followed her inside. She went back to bed. I locked up and looked around the place. Everywhere, this woman had left her mark, on me, on my home, in my heart.
Nico (The Leaves) Page 14