by Liz Johnson
Her finger shook on the trigger, but she couldn’t squeeze it. Couldn’t look at the unconscious man and steal his life as surely as he’d taken Kit from her.
Regardless of what he deserved, in the end sending off a single shot would only rob her of something she could never gain again.
Her peace of mind.
With the toe of her shoe, she rolled him over and leaned over to cuff him.
Then stealing herself for the worst possible situation, she hurried in the direction where Jeremy had fallen. Almost immediately she saw his limp form, then she was falling beside him and rolling him onto his back.
He groaned, opening one eye filled with pain. “I think—I think he shot me.”
Heather chuckled through tears she hadn’t even noticed until they streamed down her face. “Where does it hurt?”
“My leg.” The crimson stain on his left pant leg steadily grew as blood seeped from the bullet wound.
“Hang in there. I’m calling 9-1-1 right now,” she said as she dialed with one hand and cupped his cheek with the other.
He grimaced and closed both eyes. “Did you shoot him?”
She opened her mouth to answer, but he had passed out again.
The lawn was perfect, every blade of grass equal length, granite headstones glistening in the morning sun. As Heather stopped to catch her breath and give her knee a moment to stop shaking, she squinted up into the brilliant sky.
It seemed out of place, like the clouds should have covered the sun. If ever there was a day for dreary, overcast skies, this was it.
But she had to make this walk, as though in a spotlight.
Picking her foot up again, she took a hesitant step toward the next row of markers.
When she spotted the stone she was looking for, just where her mom had said it would be, a band around her heart squeezed as though it would never loosen. But the words and dates were clear, even polished.
Katherine Anne Sloan
August 11, 1980—February 19, 2011
Had it really been nearly three weeks?
It felt like a lifetime had passed since the crash.
It felt like yesterday.
Heather lifted the bouquet of wildflowers to her nose one last time before bending awkwardly to set them in the little bucket attached to the stone.
“Hey, sis,” she whispered into the breeze, just needing to share the pain in her heart. “I miss you. A lot.” She swallowed and wiped away a tear from each eye, but for the first time not trying to stem the flow.
“A lot’s happened, but I guess you know that.” A hiccup caught her off guard, and brought an unexpected smile to her lips. “You always had the loudest hiccups. But I guess you won’t have to deal with them anymore, will you?”
The wind blew a piece of grass onto the marker, and she brushed it away with the toe of her shoe. “I love you, Kit, and…well, I hope that you’d have been proud of me.”
“I’m sure she would have been.”
The deep voice behind her made her jump, but she didn’t have to turn around to know that Jeremy stood there. If she hadn’t recognized his voice, she couldn’t miss the way her heart pounded and stomach turned whenever he was near.
“How did you know I’d be here?”
“Process of elimination. You weren’t at home, and Nate hadn’t seen you today.” He made a familiar metallic click as he moved closer, and she spun, immediately eyeing the black walking cast below the frayed leg of his jeans.
“Are you—I mean, what did the doctor say?”
After all the terrible things she’d said to him the last time they’d really spoken, she didn’t know what to say. She’d been too afraid to face him at the hospital three nights before. There had been questions from the police and reports to give. And once the nurse had told her that “the handsome patient in room four” was going to be fine, Heather had turned into a chicken. Afraid he’d send her away. Afraid she wouldn’t have the words to apologize, she’d hidden away for days.
Now she couldn’t bear to look into his face, so she resigned to staring at the eighteen inches of his cast, from ankle to knee.
He shifted his weight, leaning onto his right crutch and keeping all of his weight off the injured leg.
“The bullet cracked my shinbone, but it’s going to heal. I’ll just be on desk duty for a while after my official medical leave ends.” In his shadow, his head moved as though trying to look into her eyes, but she couldn’t bring herself to really face him.
“I’m sorry that you were shot.”
He snickered. “Me, too.”
Her cheeks burned, but not from the heat of the sun. “I mean, I’m sorry that you were shot coming to rescue me.”
His shadow shrugged. “I’m not.”
At the note of mercy in his tone, she managed to lift her gaze, but only to where his hands rested on the foam grips. Strong, tan and capable of handling anything that came his way. And he’d only been injured because of her foolishness.
She opened her mouth but had no words, so silence covered them for what felt like hours.
Finally Jeremy spoke, his words soft. “Did you hear that Clay’s been arraigned and his trial has been scheduled to start next month?”
She nodded, her hair falling in front of her face.
“He’s hired Lee Cooper, the best defense attorney in the city.”
“I heard.”
He seemed to want her to continue, but she didn’t know what to say.
“He could get off free and clear.” He took a step toward her, cutting the distance between them in half. Then he laid his hand on her upper arm. “Why didn’t you take him out when you had the chance?”
Of all her actions that terrible night, not taking that shot was the only one she didn’t regret. But how could she explain it to the man who knew how dark her heart had been?
“I thought I wanted to. I thought he deserved it. And I was afraid to trust that God would take care of it.” When she paused to inhale, he hooked his forefinger under her chin and tilted it up until her eyes locked on his. She couldn’t rip her gaze away from the molten chocolate pools there. He nodded, encouraging her to continue.
“I guess I just realized that showing mercy to Clay released me from having to regret something I couldn’t take back. It put the responsibility for justice right back where it should have always been, and I feel freer now, like that weight I was carrying is gone.”
“I’m proud of you, Heather.”
She ripped her chin from where it still rested on his finger, breaking eye contact and fighting the tears that threatened once again. “Don’t be. I was so mean, and I hurt you. And I was selfish and stupid. And I don’t deserve for you to say anything like that to me.”
The shadow Jeremy shook his head again, and when he spoke, his lips were just inches from her ear, sending shivers exploding down her spine. “I am proud of you. Clay wasn’t going to give you the same mercy that you showed him. And as for what you said, you were right.”
“I was?” She held her breath waiting for his response.
“I’ve been holding on to Reena’s death like a badge, like a reminder that I don’t deserve love if I can’t promise protection in return. But I forgot that it’s not up to me to protect those I love.” He squeezed her arm, sending bolts of electricity to her fingertips. “Thank you for reminding me that God is our protector.”
Fighting the desire to keep her eyes averted, Heather forced her gaze back to Jeremy’s face. She couldn’t read his emotions, but she had to know. “Do you still love Reena?”
A tiny smile lifted the corner of his lips. “I’ll always remember her, but I’ve let her go. Mostly, I think, because I’ve recently realized that I can love someone else.”
“You ca-an?” She didn’t even worry about her voice cracking as her heart nearly stopped. She licked her lips, longing to hear the words that had been on her heart, too.
“Don’t sound so shocked.” With a wicked grin he leaned in and whi
spered against her lips. “I love you, Heather Sloan.”
She couldn’t even respond before she closed the distance, kissing him with all the emotion she’d been harboring since the crash. Like security and faithfulness, he surrounded her, wrapping an arm around her waist and tugging her against him.
He felt like comfort after a nightmare, a safe harbor after a terrible storm. Like the man she would love forever.
She shuffled even closer to him, until her knee brace connected with his cast.
They both laughed but didn’t pull away.
“So what are we going to do now?” He brushed her hair behind her ear, leaving a hand on the side of her neck.
“Well, we have some time to figure it out.” He quirked an eyebrow and she smiled. “I’m on disciplinary probation. Until my knee heals completely. Nate said it was his only chance to get me to rest enough to actually recover.”
Jeremy chuckled and leaned in for another quick kiss.
When he pulled back, Heather looked over her shoulder, a heaviness in her heart breaking the levity. “I wish Kit could have known you better.”
“I wish I could have known her. She sounds like a pretty amazing woman.” He squeezed her hand. “A lot like her sister.”
“I do love you, Jeremy Latham.”
“Good.” His grin returned. “I was getting worried when you didn’t say it back.”
She swatted his arm playfully as they strolled down the row, toward a future filled with love and laughter.
Dear Reader,
Like most kids, my sister and I didn’t always get along as we were growing up. But during one pivotal semester in college, we lived together, studied together and truly discovered what it meant to be friends. Now we live almost 2,000 miles apart, but by the grace of God that bond has remained, growing stronger over the years so that I can truthfully call her my best friend.
Like my sister and me, Heather and Kit shared a special bond. When it was broken, Heather became so consumed with avenging Kit’s death that she stopped listening to God’s direction for her life, stopped trusting God’s justice would prevail. Of course, Jeremy struggled with a similar problem—carrying guilt over something that ultimately was never in his control.
I pray that after reading Heather and Jeremy’s story, you’ll be encouraged and reminded that God is always in control. We won’t always understand His plan this side of heaven, but we can trust in who God is. He has proven Himself faithful, and He is a just God, whose mercies are new every morning.
Thank you for spending time with us. I’d love to hear from you and what you thought of this book. You can e-mail me at [email protected] or visit my website at www.lizjohnsonbooks.com. Thanks again for joining me on this adventure. I hope we have many more to come.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
What was your favorite part of the book?
Who was your favorite character? What made you relate to him/her?
Heather and Kit shared a special bond as sisters. Do you have a sibling with whom you are very close? What makes your relationship special?
What differences do you generally see between relationships with brothers and sisters?
Heather misses out on the opportunity to go to Kit’s funeral. How do you think that affects Heather’s drive to find the man responsible for Kit’s death?
After the crash, Heather’s friend Nora offers to help her, but Heather asks her not to come by. Why do you think it is often so difficult for women to accept help, even when they’re really in need?
Heather is so consumed with avenging Kit’s death that her prayers feel like they’re just bouncing off the ceiling. Have you ever gotten to a point where you felt your prayers were useless? How did you get through that time?
Jeremy’s been living with the guilt over losing Reena for a long time. Is there something in your life that you regret and have been carrying with you? What do you need to do to let it go?
When Jeremy is finally ready to talk to someone about Reena, he chooses his friend Tony. What qualities in their friendship do you think allow Jeremy to be so honest?
What friends have you had that you knew you could be honest with? Did they share any characteristics with Tony?
Heather and Jeremy have a fight when Heather says that she’s going to put herself out as bait for the killer. She feels desperate, as though this is her only option to solve the case. What would you do if you were in that position? Would you put your own life on the line?
Most of us will never know the loss combined with the extreme fear that Heather and Jeremy face in the book. This makes them both doubt God’s plans. What have you been through that has made you doubt God? How did God prove Himself in your life?
ISBN: 978-1-4268-8870-0
CODE OF JUSTICE
Copyright © 2011 by Elizabeth Johnson
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Steeple Hill Books, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
This edition published by arrangement with Steeple Hill Books.
® and TM are trademarks of Steeple Hill Books, used under license. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.
www.SteepleHill.com